Questions/Opinions for Intimate Brides

[jodeeluvsdisney]

New to the board, so Sorry for all the questions...I have read through about eleven pages of posts, but not finding this last bit of info. By the way, you are all amazing, helpful, positive women, and I so much appreciate your help. I love it! What a great group of generous women.

I am planning an Intimate wedding for late summer 2008. I am wondering how other Intimate brides are handling announcements. Are you sending them out before the wedding or after? If before, how are you wording it to be sure they don't think they are actually being "invited" if you understand what I mean. With a max of 18 guests, I don't want confusion.

Is anyone sending out announcements later? We were considering a fun announcement before the wedding, and then a more casual invite to our VERY casual party (we're not even calling it a reception) back home in Michigan later in the fall, after the actual wedding. What do you think?

And what about bridal showers? I thought I had read that etiquette was that if someone wasn't invited to the wedding, they shouldn't be to the shower either. Well, obviously almost no one is invited to the wedding.

How have you all handled the topic of showers? Did you still register? I feel weird about it, like I'm asking for gifts from people knowing full well most of our friends and extended family will not be invited to the wedding. But, on the other hand, I know that my family and co-workers will probably want to throw me a shower, as they've already mentioned it.

Help!!! Thanks for your ideas, stories, thoughts, opinions, experience. I do appreciate it.

 

[aprincess72]

I am wondering how other Intimate brides are handling announcements. Are you sending them out before the wedding or after? If before, how are you wording it to be sure they don't think they are actually being "invited" if you understand what I mean. With a max of 18 guests, I don't want confusion.

Is anyone sending out announcements later? We were considering a fun announcement before the wedding, and then a more casual invite to our VERY casual party (we're not even calling it a reception) back home in Michigan later in the fall, after the actual wedding. What do you think?

We are sending out announcements after the wedding. One for cost reasons and two for lack of confusion! This way the wording can be something like "Amber & Jim were married on 4/27/07 at Walt Disney World"

And what about bridal showers? I thought I had read that etiquette was that if someone wasn't invited to the wedding, they shouldn't be to the shower either. Well, obviously almost no one is invited to the wedding.
How have you all handled the topic of showers? Did you still register? I feel weird about it, like I'm asking for gifts from people knowing full well most of our friends and extended family will not be invited to the wedding. But, on the other hand, I know that my family and co-workers will probably want to throw me a shower, as they've already mentioned it.

Have a shower! Have 2 showers! I did! With the rising popularity of destination weddings the old rules have been tossed aside so to speak! My mother actually consulted an etiquette expert because she was soooo worried about offending someone! We had a couples shower in DFs home town and I had a girls shower in mine. Worked great! No one has complained about not coming to the wedding, in fact most have said they would do the same thing these days! Register away!

 

[jodeeluvsdisney]

Thank you soo much! That is very helpful...thinking of doing announcements later like you suggested!

 

[dmslush]

I am also sending out announcements after the wedding. I will send them along with an invitation to a casual at home reception.

 

[Swmhc]

We are likewise, doing an announcement after the fact. That way we can include a photo of the wedding for everyone. This is not a first marriage for either of us, and being in the upper 30's and mid 40's, it's just more our style.

As far as a shower, if someone wants to throw one, who are you to argue. As we have both been on our own for years, we are combining two very large houses, so we joked about throwing a shower for our friends, and when they arrive, sending them home with a car load of extra things we have duplicates of and don't need ! However, we have co-workers that are interested in "where we are registered." So we did create a Disney honeymoon registry and a local one with bedding and towel kind of stuff. You can always use more of that stuff. I really like the honeymoon one with Disney though, because that is money we will be spending and that could save us and be something we will enjoy. HTH

 

[Maggimus]

we actually had an 'at-home reception' after the wedding but sent out announcements before. Ours read:

Ms. X X X
&
Mr. X X X
Will be married in a private wedding ceremony
at Walt Disney World in Orlando,
Florida on Tuesday, the Fourteenth of
November, two thousand and six

You are Joyfully invited to an informal indoor
wedding celebration after the wedding on
Saturday, the Second of December,
At Six-Thirty in the evening

Twin Cedar Farms
1234 Reception Street
My hometown, State, Zip​

We bought a kit at walmart and made over 100 of them ourselves using our printer. Took very little time and they turned out looking very professional! Its hard to believe we did them ourselves!

 

[Maggimus]

we actually had an 'at-home reception' after the wedding but sent out announcements before. Ours read:

Ms. X X X
&
Mr. X X X
Will be married in a private wedding ceremony
at Walt Disney World in Orlando,
Florida on Tuesday, the Fourteenth of
November, two thousand and six

You are Joyfully invited to an informal indoor
wedding celebration after the wedding on
Saturday, the Second of December,
At Six-Thirty in the evening

Twin Cedar Farms
1234 Reception Street
My hometown, State, Zip​

We bought a kit at walmart and made over 100 of them ourselves using our printer. Took very little time and they turned out looking very professional! Its hard to believe we did them ourselves!

I also wanted to add that since the people who came to the reception werent able to attend the wedding, we had a video tape of the wedding playing and a couple photos on display that we took ourselves. It can often take up to 6 weeks to get photos in hand so we decided that this would be the best way to go about it otherwise our reception would have had to have been atleast 2 months after the wedding. We wanted them pretty close together.

 

[Naninnc]

We are also sending out a photo announcement after the fact. My goal is to get it in the mail about 3 weeks after the wedding (we'll see how well that works). We also ended up registering due to family pressure but are encouraging donations to Make A Wish instead of gifts.

 

[Tiggerific04]

DF and I haven't talked about announcements, but I don't think we're doing them at all. I also decided against a shower because I didn't feel right receiving gifts from people who are not invited to the wedding. I did register (mostly as a way to keep track of stuff I wanted to buy for myself )... a couple of my friends and my mom's friends have asked where I am registered and I've told them.

 

[JandJ]

We made our announcements and I liked them a lot! I had my friend mail them the day we got married. I'd read in a couple places not to mail them in advance just in case something happens

Three of my close friends threw me a shower. Everyone invited (except my BFF, my sister, and my niece who was my MOH) knew they were not invited to the wedding. I think the etiquette has had to change with all the destination weddings these days. I actually had 2 showers and a bachelorette party and they all knew they weren't invited to the wedding (and we did not have an at-home reception or party), but they wanted to celebrate with me and it was really nice to spend time with my family and friends. I was shocked to receive wedding gifts from friends and family members who live out of state too. I mean, we had 8 guests at our DTFW, we practically eloped, but family and friends wanted to celebrate and they did so by sending us gifts. It was totally unexpected but really appreciated.