Question regarding Catholic baptism

[ICF]

Honestly, I've never heard of "paying" or even having a set donation for a baptism and I have been Catholic my entire life and my children have been baptized in different churches. Perhaps giving a donation in whatever amount you might fell appropriate as a gift, but I've never heard of a church asking or for it to be a certain amount.

I have heard people talk about expensive fees for getting married in a Catholic Church. However, in these instances I was under the impression that it was because the couple or their families were not actually members or did not attend the church where they wanted the wedding. This would make sense to me, sort of that the priest is "renting out" his services and the facility. I assumed if you were a familiar face, you are entitled to receive the sacraments at your parish without paying for them. Money was never mentioned when I got married, nor anyone else that I know.

My children have been baptized during mass or at another time by a priest. No one ever mentioned a suggested donation for anything.

Are the parents active members of the parish? Are these fees that they charge everyone?

Agreed....I know not every church is the same, even every Catholic church....but I've never been presented with a bill when we got married 14 years ago or when either of my kids were baptized. 1 of which was during mass and the other was outside of mass as part of a group of babies having it done. They were done at 2 different churches in the area.

When we were married, we did give the priest a card with a small amount of $$'s in it as a gift for his time at the rehersal and wedding, but in no way was it a 'rent a priest' that came with an hourly fee.

As part of the church community you are expected to contribute to the weekly offering, but I've never know of anyone to pay the priest for their time at either of these sacraments.

I would think it kind of goes with the job description of being a priest and I would have a hard time thinking the Pope was setting fees for these services....what's next...Last rights $50 or confessions starting for $3.99 a minute?

I think a "gift" to the priest might be a nice gesture (although a baptism only takes about 10 mins of their time) but I've never heard of an expected fee. Can you just see people shopping around for the best price...."$50 for a baptism?? Please....St. Mary's said they'd do it for $40 and St. Marks was only $35?"

 

[mjkacmom]

Honestly, I've never heard of "paying" or even having a set donation for a baptism and I have been Catholic my entire life and my children have been baptized in different churches. Perhaps giving a donation in whatever amount you might fell appropriate as a gift, but I've never heard of a church asking or for it to be a certain amount.

I have heard people talk about expensive fees for getting married in a Catholic Church. However, in these instances I was under the impression that it was because the couple or their families were not actually members or did not attend the church where they wanted the wedding. This would make sense to me, sort of that the priest is "renting out" his services and the facility. I assumed if you were a familiar face, you are entitled to receive the sacraments at your parish without paying for them. Money was never mentioned when I got married, nor anyone else that I know.



My children have been baptized during mass or at another time by a priest. No one ever mentioned a suggested donation for anything.

It's the norm here to make a donation for the sacraments. You're not actually "told," I believe, the same way the bellhop isn't going to tell you $1 - $2 per bag, it's just "known." Also, around here, you can't get married in the church if you don't belong - you can't rent it out! Google it - it's really very common.
Are the parents active members of the parish? Are these fees that they charge everyone?

 

[tzolkin]

I can't get over the non-Catholic as a Godparent. I always have to get a card to prove that I was Catholic and all that jazz.


I'm going to check into this whole "don't need to be Catholic" thing next time I'm asked. Don't want to get yelled at again.

You are correct. You do have to be Catholic, but techincally you only need to have one sponsor ("godparent"). When someone is confirmed, they just choose one sponsor. I think the reason there are usually two at a baptism is because we call them godparents and think there should be a "mom" and "dad".

So, how it works if you want a non-Catholic godparent is that the Catholic godparent is put down as the sponsor and the non-Catholic godparent is techinacally a witness.

Here's a link to the Cannon Law regarding sponsors... http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P2Y.HTM
Interestingly, my son has two female godparents, which I guess is not allowed.

 

[NotUrsula]

Here's a link to the Cannon Law regarding sponsors... http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P2Y.HTM
Interestingly, my son has two female godparents, which I guess is not allowed.

They just handle that the same way that they do when one "godparent" is RC and the other is a Christian of another denomination -- only one is officially named a sponsor, the other is officially a witness.

I dealt with all this with DD fairly recently; several of the members of my immediate family have left the Church recently, and would not take the responsibility. The only person I could ask is an unmarried niece, and the Church was fine with her being a sole sponsor. Back when that same niece was baptized, my elder sister and her DH were supposed to be the godparents, but my BIL was very ill and could not come to the ceremony, so I stood proxy for him. THAT was a convoluted situation: according to the paperwork I was not a witness, but a proxy representative.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I've definitely heard of it - I believe it's an Italian Catholic tradition? We paid ourselves.

Nope. DH and I are both Italian Catholic and we paid for everything for all of our kids. The Godparents gave us gifts for the baby but we paid for the church donation and the party.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Honestly, I've never heard of "paying" or even having a set donation for a baptism and I have been Catholic my entire life and my children have been baptized in different churches. Perhaps giving a donation in whatever amount you might fell appropriate as a gift, but I've never heard of a church asking or for it to be a certain amount.

I have heard people talk about expensive fees for getting married in a Catholic Church. However, in these instances I was under the impression that it was because the couple or their families were not actually members or did not attend the church where they wanted the wedding. This would make sense to me, sort of that the priest is "renting out" his services and the facility. I assumed if you were a familiar face, you are entitled to receive the sacraments at your parish without paying for them. Money was never mentioned when I got married, nor anyone else that I know.



My children have been baptized during mass or at another time by a priest. No one ever mentioned a suggested donation for anything.

Are the parents active members of the parish? Are these fees that they charge everyone?

All Catholic churches here charge to get married. It doesn't matter if you are a member or not. They call it a donation but they tell you what you have to donate.

 

[waltskids]

I'm a cradle Catholic, DH is not and we baptized our son Catholic as well. His godmother is Catholic, his Godfather (my husband's brother) is not but attends Protestant church regularly so they allowed us to have him as a Godparent provided that the Godmother was a practicing Catholic. We have never heard of the Godfather paying the donation to the church but DS's Godmother bought the Christening outfit, which is customary in our family. We paid the donation to the church as well as the party afterward.

 

[CookieDiva]

Honestly, I've never heard of "paying" or even having a set donation for a baptism and I have been Catholic my entire life and my children have been baptized in different churches.

Same here. DH and I are both "cradle Catholics" and our parents have all been "cradle Catholics" - we and both families have been and are very involved with their churches and I have never heard this ever. Wow.

I have heard people talk about expensive fees for getting married in a Catholic Church. However, in these instances I was under the impression that it was because the couple or their families were not actually members or did not attend the church where they wanted the wedding.

Now this, well our DD was married last year and this is from the information that they were given when they first made arrangements:

# Fee for parish: Donation (suggested $125)
# Fee for Wedding Coordinator $55
# Fee for organist: $100
(includes planning meeting, one hour rehearsal with cantor, fifteen minutes of music before the ceremony itself. (If additional meetings are necessary there may be a fee attached.)

# Fee for Cantor: $80
# Fee for Contemporary Music Ensemble (CME) $250

This does not even mention a donation to the priest, but the rest of these "fees" look like donations or payments for services.

It's all very interesting...

ETA: Regarding the fee list above, you would either have a cantor and organist OR the CME, not both. You could bring in your own people, but they did have to approved by the parish.

 

[ICF]

We did have to pay our organist and Cantor (singer).

The church had no real involvment in that except the parish office provided a list of people that did it and we were told we could use them if we wanted, and would have to work out any payment directly with them....we could also bring someone in to do it that was not on the list if we wanted.

 

[coneeny4]

Yep - that's what our family has always done. Godmother purchases the baptism outfit and Godfater donates to the church. Like a PP said, "There are different customs or traditions I guess based on how the persons family has always done things."QUOTE]

Same here.
Godmother buys the gown
Godfather handles the church
Parents pay for the Baptismal luncheon after the service.

Irish Catholic this is how we do it also.

 

[bubie2.5]

Weird, I've never been asked to pay for anything at a Catholic Church when I planned two of my friends weddings.

My partner comes from Spain, and there they have a tradition where the godfather throws coins and candy to the children. Kind of a pinata without the pinata.

 

[bumbershoot]

If there's one thing I learned during my wedding-planning years, and while reading about others' experiences and talking my friend through the 2 years it took to have her now-husband's brief, civil, wedding annulled by the Church....it's that there is no ONE WAY in the Catholic Church!

My friend wasn't allowed to even book a date until the annulment was final. Once it was, and it took awhile b/c the groom's ex-wife was a druggie who had absolutely NO interest in helping him re-marry, they picked the date and planned like crazy, and then the wedding day was there.

Other people in other churches can book the date and then hope against hope that the annulments were finalized in time.

Other people didn't have to get an annulment if the previous wedding was a civil, no-church-involved, one. Others didn't have to get the annulment if the wedding just wasn't Catholic!!!!

And each priest made it sound like the way they were doing things was The Way.


So I definitely believe to the point of knowing that baptisms are the same way. Perhaps SIL is making it up. Perhaps it's tradition in her family. Perhaps it's tradition with her friends. Perhaps it's tradition in her particular church or diocese. Could be any or all of those things!

 

[tzolkin]

They just handle that the same way that they do when one "godparent" is RC and the other is a Christian of another denomination -- only one is officially named a sponsor, the other is officially a witness.

Well, that's what I'm assuming now that I found this out, but both women (my sisters) signed the paperwork during the baptism and both are listed on son's baptismal certificate that I was sent in the mail. (I guess I don't know how it was officially filed with the church... Now I wonder which one is actually his sponsor.) It was even a joke, because my priest asked them which one wanted to be the "godfather".

 

[Anne34]

Ok, well call it what you will, we don't even make donations other than the regular money that we give on a weekly basis. Myabe that is the same thing, but there is no extra donation for being baptised.

We have never made an extra donation either, but I know my SIL did -- her mom insisted on it!!! AT our church, as long as one of the godparents is Catholic, the other doesn't have to be. My husband is GF to my niece and my BIL's sister is Jewish & she's the godmother.

 

[almburr]

The Catholic churches do not charge for that around here. Heck Weddings might cost you a $50 donation to the church.

My kids God Parents are my Cousin and her DH. THey are Lutheran, They are also the confomation sponsors. I asked Father if it was ok to have Lutheran God Parents? His response "They are the sister church to the Catholic church" I think it depends in the Priest. Some still wont give comunion to a person who wears dress shorts to mass, or there are some who dont want kids to be involved with other christian kid activities.

 

[delilah]

I'm Catholic, and we didn't pay any type of fee or donation to have our son baptized. Our church baptized babies every few months, and there were about 9 other babies baptized the same day as our son. My brother was godfather, and he is Catholic. One of my best friends was godmother, and she is not Catholic, but a very good Christian person.

I don't remember a set fee when I got married, either. I got married at the Catholic student center at the University of Florida. I do remember that I wasn't allowed to get married at the parish where I attended Mass. My parents never registered at the parish, and they didn't donate to the parish. I donated to the parish, but, apparently, that wasn't enough. So, we got married at the church on campus. For those in Gainesville, the name of the church was Holy Faith, and apparently they won't allow non-registered people to marry there regardless of donation or anything else.

 

[eduk8r26]

I come from a large family on the West Coast and am godmother to lots of nieces and nephews. Never had to pay for any of them. In our family, the outfit was no problem as it was handed down for years.The cap was over 80 years old. All of us and all my +25 nieces and nephews were baptized in it.

 

[madge]

I am, however, more surprised at the non-catholic being allowed to be a Godparent.

my DH is our niece's Godfather .. he is not Catholic, but the Godmother is. I am our nephew's Godmother .. I am Catholic, the Godfather is not. The church/priest okayed it.

PS. niece and nephew's parents .. mom is Catholic, dad (DH brother) is not.

 

[browneyes106]

I'm a Hispanic Catholic and here in New Mexico I have never heard of donating money to the church for baptisms. I guess it isn't done here. It is common here for the godmothers to buy the gowns or outfits for the babies.