Question regarding Catholic baptism

[rotlex]

Mmmm, devout, practicing cradle Catholic here. Never heard of this either, not to say it's not tradition somewhere.

For us, we have "paid", i.e., donated, to our parish at each of our children's baptism. The gowns and clothing however were always handed down from previous children. My mother actual still had my baptismal gown, which is what we have used for our own children. We also then hold the post party at our home, and everything brings a part of the feast.

 

[ICF]

Most Catholic churches will not accept a non-Catholic as a godfather for starters. Not sure how they got around that. Unless the godmother was Catholic, then I could see them getting around it possibly.

A donation is not uncommon however I never heard of the godparent paying. That was pretty rude on your SIL's part. She just was getting out of paying.

In my experience the church only requires ONE of the two godparents to be Catholic.

I've also never heard of having to pay for a baptism, I suppose you can make a donation to the church but that isn't something I have known being done is most cases. Most baptism are done either during mass or a set time on a weekend or two a month with a # of other families present.

 

[luvmy3]

When do they do the baptisms? Here, they are performed outside of Mass, like weddings (and we make donations for weddings, too).

It depends on the Church I guess. Two of my kids were baptized, one during a mass and the other in a different Church in a seperate ceremony. I donated money to the Churches but never would I have asked the God parents to do so. My kids wore a Christening gown that had been worn by all the babies in my family, including my father.

Also to the pp that asked, my kids each have one God parent that isn't Catholic. Dh and his siblings are not and his brother is my dd's God father and his sister is my ds' God mother. It wasn't a problem but maybe its because the God parents from my side are Catholic.

 

[Kathi OD]

Most Catholic churches will not accept a non-Catholic as a godfather for starters. Not sure how they got around that. Unless the godmother was Catholic, then I could see them getting around it possibly.

A donation is not uncommon however I never heard of the godparent paying. That was pretty rude on your SIL's part. She just was getting out of paying.

In Philadelphia, as long as one godparent is a practicing Catholic, the other does not have to be.

Oh, and the parents "pay" for the baptism, which is a considered a donation to the church, not payment for services.

 

[wall*e2008]

I am a cradle Catholic and the cost is all on the parents. In our family the Godmother buys the outfit to be warn and that is optional. Usually the Godmother wants to buy the outfit but a family heirloom can also be used.

 

[wall*e2008]

Most Catholic churches will not accept a non-Catholic as a godfather for starters. Not sure how they got around that. Unless the godmother was Catholic, then I could see them getting around it possibly.

A donation is not uncommon however I never heard of the godparent paying. That was pretty rude on your SIL's part. She just was getting out of paying.

The rule is if both parents are Catholic then only one of the Godparents need be Catholic. If only one parent is Catholic then both Godparents need to be Catholic.

So basically three out of four need to be Catholic.

 

[luvmy3]

The rule is if both parents are Catholic then only one of the Godparents need be Catholic. If only one parent is Catholic then both Godparents need to be Catholic.

So basically three out of four need to be Catholic.

That can't be true, I am Catholic (no longer practicing) but my dh is not. Our God parents are not both Catholic.

 

[wall*e2008]

That can't be true, I am Catholic (no longer practicing) but my dh is not. Our God parents are not both Catholic.

It might be different depending on the Bishop and/or Cardinal.

 

[mamamary]

Cradle Catholic here. I also have not heard of the godfather paying for anything. I also cannot remember any set fee to have a baptism. I did hear that there is a tradition for the godmother to buy the baby her gown. When I was a godmother for my neice i hadn't heard of that then and my sis in law didn't ask me. But fast forward to my daughter's baptism and my sister (the godmother) asked if she could buy it.

As for whether or not godparents can be catholic, we were told (this is going back 10 years) that at least one godparent did not have to be catholic as long as one was. That worked out well so we could include my DH's family.

 

[pooh4evr]

Well here the baptisms are done twice a month after noon mass (115 or so) so there can be just a couple of babies or 10 at once (then the church is usualy full of extended family) - we have not made a donation when any of the girls were baptized - I am catholic, dh was not at the baptism times, we usually had 2 catholic Godparents ( because Dh only has 1 sister who won't drive in for the event) but only 1 is required to be -eithe godmother or father no difference and only 1 parent - so just 2 have to be at least in our church. - and I bought the dress and had the party after at home as have all my siblings.

 

[georgina]

Only one official godparent is required (called a sponsor) - and that must be a practicing Catholic. If another godparent is also chosen, they need to be a baptized, practicing Christian of any denomination; and if not Catholic, they are called a Christian witness.

And pooh4ever, your DH's sister can still be a godparent even if she can't attend the baptism - someone can stand in for her at the ceremony.

 

[Buckalew11]

wow, I am just floored on all points, but then again I am baptist, never heard of "paying" the church for a baptism, we don't do anything like that, it is done for free.

I agree. I read the rest of the page and I see it is not mandatory but a donation. That makes it easier to swallow but still, what a racket that people would feel the need to a donation for a baptism while holding the belief that baptism of babies is a must because if your baby dies before he is baptized who what wil happen to his soul. This isn't a Catholic bashing comment...I'd say it about any denomination. I think it is things like this that turn a lot of people off to the idea of belonging to a church/organized religion.

 

[Buckalew11]

When do they do the baptisms? Here, they are performed outside of Mass, like weddings (and we make donations for weddings, too).

Ok, this makes more sense to me. If this is a private family setting and the church is opened for the family etc. I can understand this much more. Sorry I didn't read through page 2 and see this was more of a special service. My church does it during regular serices unless you request a river baptism (which is quite common around here).

 

[tink_n_pooh]

Thanks for all of the responses

To clarify a little more:

My brother is not Catholic (not even batized in any religion)
SIL is Catholic
Godmother (SIL's sister) is Catholic
Godfather is baptized church going Protestant

The baptism was on a Saturday and was outside of any other service. My niece was the only baby there and it was just our family and friends present. The baptism was peformed by one of the deacons at the church and the "payment" is actually referred to as a donation. This "donation" was a set fee for the deacon and another set "donation" fee to the church

The godmother did not purchase the gown, I am pretty sure SIL's mother did that. The godmother did not "donate" either.

The after party was held in the church hall (which there was a small fee of $50 to use, normal stuff) and some of the church members & friends of the family donated their time and made all of the food (which the members & friends paid for) right at the church.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like SIL & brother are that hard up for money or anything, it's just they way she is. This is the same SIL that charged my bridesmaids $50 for the cake for my bridal shower that only cost her $30

 

[LisaNJ25]

Most Catholic churches will not accept a non-Catholic as a godfather for starters. Not sure how they got around that. Unless the godmother was Catholic, then I could see them getting around it possibly.

A donation is not uncommon however I never heard of the godparent paying. That was pretty rude on your SIL's part. She just was getting out of paying.

3 of my kids have my brother as their godfather. No problem since the god mother was catholic.

I also havent heard of them paying.. We paid the donation to the church.

 

[mjkacmom]

I agree. I read the rest of the page and I see it is not mandatory but a donation. That makes it easier to swallow but still, what a racket that people would feel the need to a donation for a baptism while holding the belief that baptism of babies is a must because if your baby dies before he is baptized who what wil happen to his soul. This isn't a Catholic bashing comment...I'd say it about any denomination. I think it is things like this that turn a lot of people off to the idea of belonging to a church/organized religion.

I think that many people have the wrong idea of why we baptize babies. We don't do it to save their souls, we do it as a way of bringing them into the Church, into the Catholic religion. They are then part of the Catholic family, the same way they get born into their parent's family.

As someone who is Catholic, it doesn't bother me to make a donation to my church, the same way I don't mind putting money in the collection basket - it's the same thing. They're not going to throw me out of Mass if I come empty handed, but it's just expected.

In our family, the parents or grandparents donate to the church, but it's a cultural thing for the godparents to do it in some areas, and I'm guessing this is the case with the OP's SIL - it's not taken out of thin air, it is a practice someplaces.

 

[tink_n_pooh]

In our family, the parents or grandparents donate to the church, but it's a cultural thing for the godparents to do it in some areas, and I'm guessing this is the case with the OP's SIL - it's not taken out of thin air, it is a practice someplaces.

You've never met my SIL.... she pulls some interesting stuff out of thin air

 

[tzolkin]

wow, I am just floored on all points, but then again I am baptist, never heard of "paying" the church for a baptism, we don't do anything like that, it is done for free.

Honestly, I've never heard of "paying" or even having a set donation for a baptism and I have been Catholic my entire life and my children have been baptized in different churches. Perhaps giving a donation in whatever amount you might fell appropriate as a gift, but I've never heard of a church asking or for it to be a certain amount.

I have heard people talk about expensive fees for getting married in a Catholic Church. However, in these instances I was under the impression that it was because the couple or their families were not actually members or did not attend the church where they wanted the wedding. This would make sense to me, sort of that the priest is "renting out" his services and the facility. I assumed if you were a familiar face, you are entitled to receive the sacraments at your parish without paying for them. Money was never mentioned when I got married, nor anyone else that I know.

The baptism was on a Saturday and was outside of any other service. My niece was the only baby there and it was just our family and friends present. The baptism was peformed by one of the deacons at the church and the "payment" is actually referred to as a donation. This "donation" was a set fee for the deacon and another set "donation" fee to the church

My children have been baptized during mass or at another time by a priest. No one ever mentioned a suggested donation for anything.

Are the parents active members of the parish? Are these fees that they charge everyone?

 

[Missy1961]

The reason why some Churches ask for donations is when it is a special service. They have to heat or air condition the church, they have to have to pay staff to clean the church before & after the services (especially after weddings when rice, rose petals, etc. are thrown), they may have to pay musicians & other staff & all of those things cost money. The donation is covering those costs.

 

[Cool-Beans]

The church doesn't charge. Donations are customary.

I can't get over the non-Catholic as a Godparent. I always have to get a card to prove that I was Catholic and all that jazz.

One time I mentioned to the secretary that the child I was Godparenting was being baptized because he was entering Catholic school and she starting badgering me with questions about why it wasn't done sooner, etc.

I got yelled at because my friend didn't baptize her kids.

I'm going to check into this whole "don't need to be Catholic" thing next time I'm asked. Don't want to get yelled at again.