Question...not sure if it is an age thing

[starann]

I was out to see a patient this morning. Him and DP have been together for 53 years, which is impressive (even for a hetero couple). Somehow the issue of marraige came up (you would be suprised what people talk to thier nurses about).

He told me that he didn't beleive in marraige for 2 same sex people, that it should be reserved for a man and a woman!?!?!?!?! WHAT! He does believe in partners getting rights of hetero couples (property and health issues). He also doesn't understand about gay couples adopting children, he has friends (who are younger) who have adopted a lil girl and just adore her to peices but he can't comprehend why they wanted a child. I know children aren't for everyone (straight or gay) and explained that to him.

Is this an age thing.....He is in his 70s so he grew up in a 'different' world? I have heard many hetero people saying that same sex should not be allowed ot marry, but I have NEVER heard same sex couples saying hte same thing. I guess I am just baffeled

 

[Tony-NJ]

It probably is an age thing for the most part - I'm younger than your patient by 30 something years, and honestly do not care if my DP and I can get married - I understand that marriage is a religious term. I do indeed believe that my DP of 13 1/3 years should have the same rights as a married couple.

Call it whatever you want - I just want the same benefits. Don't really care if it's called marriage.

As for raising kids - it was most likely IMPOSSIBLE for him and his partner to even consider suce a thing so many years ago. It was never thought of then. Now, we are progressing and it's more common.

 

[DVCajun]

Interesting. I think there are many gay people who don't fully accept themselves (or anyone else) as gay. They don't completely deny who they are, in that they are living with their partner and are out as a gay person, but they deny it in many other ways, such as thinking that inequality is ok for certain reasons. I think that's the result of the powerful social pressure that gays experience from before they even know they are gay.

"Marriage" is not just a religious term. It may have started that way, but it's not that way now. People who consider themselves atheist get married. It is a civil commitment which has civil benefits. If you "get married" in a church without the civil paperwork, you're not married. Church is not required or even expected in a marriage ceremony. "Marriage" represents a permanent commitment between two individuals (or that's what it should be, and will one day be) that grants the couple CIVIL rights.

This is an argument that has already been heard, but I have to say it again -- to accept any term other than marriage is to accept a lessor status in society. Regardless of the intent of the couple, society will not see that couple as committed to one another in the same way as a hetero couple.

Stepping off of my soapbox now....

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

I honestly haven't a clue, but I can hazard a guess.

Given the cohort group, I'd think that he has internalized the mores of his time, which held that marriage was between a man and a woman.

As for the term marriage, although 'Cajun makes an eloquent statement, I can honestly say I'd prefer civil union to the term marriage. Needs to be the fully monty though.

 

[jlewisinsyr]

I don't believe in Gay Marriage in the most simplest defintion, I believe in Civil Unions for all (all marriages would also be by definition a Civil Union).

 

[soulmates]

I really think it's their age, the generation they come from. My step mother, lost her son to aids...she's VERY supportive of gays/ lesbians...however, she doesn't believe in gay marriage!!

 

[Uncle Remus]

Interesting. I think there are many gay people who don't fully accept themselves (or anyone else) as gay. They don't completely deny who they are, in that they are living with their partner and are out as a gay person, but they deny it in many other ways, such as thinking that inequality is ok for certain reasons. I think that's the result of the powerful social pressure that gays experience from before they even know they are gay.

"Marriage" is not just a religious term. It may have started that way, but it's not that way now. People who consider themselves atheist get married. It is a civil commitment which has civil benefits. If you "get married" in a church without the civil paperwork, you're not married. Church is not required or even expected in a marriage ceremony. "Marriage" represents a permanent commitment between two individuals (or that's what it should be, and will one day be) that grants the couple CIVIL rights.

This is an argument that has already been heard, but I have to say it again -- to accept any term other than marriage is to accept a lessor status in society. Regardless of the intent of the couple, society will not see that couple as committed to one another in the same way as a hetero couple.

Stepping off of my soapbox now....

It's hard to get folks to understand married is a legal status, not a religious one.