Question for the men

[GailT]

What attracted you to your GF.SO or just companion? I am so curious how men think, what they want, what they need. Do they like women who are passive or ones that are foward, say what they want and go for it, Please all input would help me. Thanks so much in advance?

Gail

 

[KristaTX]

Bumping for GailT - Hello? DIS men :confused2? Are you having problems coming up with answers to this question? Maybe you just can't say .

 

[gallaj0]

OK, I'll give this a try.
Please remember, I do not speak for all men, or for that matter probably many men, and maybe just this man.
I was (and still am) attracted to my wife because we had different backgrounds, but somehow ended up with the same interests. She came from a large town, pretty far from a major city, I was born in the city, went to school there, hung around there, etc. We were from different kinds of families, mine is pretty typical Irish Catholic, hers is African American.
I can't say if opposites attract, but she just seemed to be an interesting person to get to know better, and despite any "differences", we just were meant to be together.

As for what men want; I don't know if you're going to get any help on that question; I could throw out some vague things like mutual interests, school work, jobs, etc. but they only get you a vague idea about the person.

You really have to get to know the person before you can say what they like in women; different people like different things, and what may get one guy's attention may turn another off.
Some guys like passive women, some like forward women, and some like to be treated like trash by women.

I think the best bet is to decide who you want to be, and find a guy who likes you, the person you really are. Trying to find out what a guy likes and change yourself to attract him isn't going to make you happy, and he will probably figure it out anyways. If you're not happy with who you are, you'll resent him for forcing you to change to fit him, and he'll know.

I think it comes down to putting yourself out on a limb with a guy and letting him know who you are, while finding out who he is. Don't forget, this could be a guy asking the same questions you are, and looking for the same answers. It takes some risk, and sometimes you may get shot down before finding the best person for you.

Good luck.

 

[Dan Murphy]

As for initial attraction, I guess I will have to say Marie was (is) a good looking lady. We both worked at the same company, so I did see her often. Asked her out for a company ski trip in January of '68, she did not want to go. There was some intangible magnetism there, and I kept up a phone relationship (we both lived at home then with our parents) (no PC's, email, IM, cell phones) for 11 months, all the time both learning more about each other. Finally, on Thanksgiving of '68, we had our first date, of which Marie still denies it was a real date, LOL. We went to Mass, breakfast and I had turkey dinner at her house (I sort of weaseled my way in for that. ) From then on, we dated, got engaged about a year and a half later and marreied about a year or so after that. We both are still going., bumps in the road for sure, but going.

 

[JimB.]

My DW is (in no particular order) beautiful, smart, driven. She loves me in spite of myself & my NUMEROUS faults.

I was originally attracted to her for all these reasons. She never has, never did & never will put up with any BS from anyone (especially ME) She is probably the strongest person I have ever known, and it is an honor to be her husband.

She takes care of me & I take care of her, & together we take care of and drag our children (kicking & screaming) toward adulthood.

Other reasons I was originally attracted to her (tongue in cheek) ........................

She had a car with heat. I had a bicycle with none. I lived 4 miles from campus & winters are ccccold in Gainesville.

She looked great in the tiger print string bikini.

She told me I was the first guy her mom ever met that she did not dislike (so, I got THAT going for me.....)

BTW, we did not have our 1st date until 1 1/2 years after we met. SHe had to get rid of the blond biker guy 1st................

 

[DSNY FN]

Well what attracted me to my wife to be honest she was tall 6'1" taller than me and had great long hair and a great body. We met at a bar of all places. I was introduced to her by a friend of mine who is now my cousins wife. We went back to my cousins place for food after a night of partying and well the rest is history we have been together since then we met on Nov 11th of 95. Back then I was very superficial and it was really all about the looks I was 26 what did I know I went to work and went for rides on my motorcycle and had no cares other than that. She re introduced me to WDW after not having been since 78 and taught me how to be myself and look for other things in people not just looks and money. I love my wife and wouldn't trade her for anything.

 

[teh fish]

all of my girlfriends occured b/c of the conversation. I like a girl that I am able to converse with and never be at a loss of words; either I always have something to say or she always has something to say.

Don't get me wrong, looks do cause the intial conversation, but I like a girl that makes me feel at ease.

 

[phillybeth]

I asked DH and he said it was my sense of humor, the fact that we could have conversations on many different topics, and my manners and respect for his family (he dated a real winner before me ). Oh, and that I was (and still am) a baseball fan.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by JimB.
She had a car with heat. I had a bicycle with none.

ROFL! That's too funny and cute!

 

[jvas]

I'll let you all guess...............

 

[SyracuseWolvrine]

First and foremost, I look for someone that is intelligent and can hold their own in a conversation. If you can't have a good conversation, then the whole relationship is going to be a struggle. My gf and I met online, we talked for a long time on IM and later on the phone before we met in person. We had a few common interests, and that's what started the conversations. From there, it just sort of escalated. We were joking about how nice it would be to be able to meet and just hang out, kept talking a lot (nearly every day), and started to realize that we really did want to be with the other one, almost more than anything else.

 

[GeorgeG]

You know, it's not that easy. Looks, personality, easy to get along with... sure, but it really comes down to something I can't quite describe. It just felt right.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by jvas
I'll let you all guess...............

You're too easy, fancy feet!

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by GeorgeG
You know, it's not that easy. Looks, personality, easy to get along with... sure, but it really comes down to something I can't quite describe. It just felt right.

I know exactly what you mean! But why can I get that feeling about a house, not a male! Just bought a home this month. In less than 5 minutes, I knew this was it. Gee! Well, I have had that feeling about someone, but it apparently isn't reciprocated. Otherwise he hasn't admitted it!

 

[GailT]

Originally posted by gallaj0
I think the best bet is to decide who you want to be, and find a guy who likes you, the person you really are. Trying to find out what a guy likes and change yourself to attract him isn't going to make you happy, and he will probably figure it out anyways. If you're not happy with who you are, you'll resent him for forcing you to change to fit him, and he'll know

I know people can't change and anyhow I love who I am, what I accomplish in my life, I wasn't asking for that, the reason why I was asking I met a guy that is so different from me, money wise, lifes achievments, daily and vacationing way,s just everything about this guy is different but there is a spark there that gets ignited when i am around him, there is a song, darn, what is the name part of it is "I get tongue tied, words just don't come out right when I hear that song I think of him. he comes into my work, he is a costomer and I usually don't like to mix business with my social life, I have been divorce 7 yrs have dated many guys but this guy make my heart go pitter patter, I will never change for him or any man, I love who I am. I am not attacking you, just want you t know I was really curious what a guy sees in a woman that attracts him.

 

[oldkicker]

I fell instantly and deeply in love with my wife the very moment she walked into the room. Thankfully, she fell in love with me too.

I met her at a friend's house and we fell into easy conversation right away. She was, and is, the most beautiful woman I've ever known. We were both in the service at the time and I went back home shortly after meeting her. We carried on a long distance romance, racking up huge phone bills. During our conversations, we found enough differences to keep things interesting and enough similarities to know that we were meant to be together.

That was 26 years ago. A turning point in both our lives.

That initial moment might have faded away rather quickly if we hadn't been forced by the situation we were in to share ourselves, our likes and dislikes, our hopes and aspirations. So, maybe in short it all came down to being able to talk to each other.

 

[shep]

My friend had fixed me and Amanda up on a blind date...
I was attracted to her the first time I saw her.
She cares deeply for her family(which can drive me nuts at times.. )
She wasn't impressed by money, even though my buddy kept saying I drove a nice car...
gosh, gotta be careful what I say here..don't wanna get in trouble..
She always takes care of others first & puts herself last..
We had similar interests in many things..Both Love hiking & the Smokey Mountains and come to find out..DISNEY..
We have been married 9 years aand 6 days and I would never change a thing..

 

[Mickey76]

Great question. My girlfriend's smile first made me notice her. She's petite, but her smile is big enough to live in. After we had talked for a few weeks, I realized that this woman would be right for me. She is amazingly beautiful, but there's so much more to her. I was attracted to her intelligence and her humor, which are key to a relationship for me. After looks fade away, you're going to need a sense of humor. She isn't the jealous type, which is great, because I can't stand jealousy. She listens to me when I speak and never judges me, which I can honestly say that she is the first woman I have ever dated that has not done so. So basically, I sought perfection and found it.

Oh yeah, and she's a Disney fanatic like me.

Mickey76

 

[coliebird]

Originally posted by jvas
I'll let you all guess...............

hmmm jvas, could it be her feet? lol

 

[gallaj0]

GailT, no problem, there was no attack there; I was just trying to get the point across that since all men are attracted by different things, it is almost moot to ask what will make him attracted to you.
Also, it seemed you were looking for the "big guy secret" of attraction; but judging from the responses, if you are over 6 feet, have a decent car with heat, can carry a conversation, and look great in a tiger print bikini, you shouldn't have any problems.

(I'm kidding, just so you know, my wife is under 5'5", drove a Chevy Nova whebn we met, and would laugh at he idea of a bikini).
That's just me, I'm a big kidder.