Question for the married folks.

[indimom]

My husband would be fine with that. He trusts me and knows my friends.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I spent a weekend in Vegas with my (single) sister. She was on a business trip and I joined her for the weekend. I also went to San Diego for a weekend with my single (widowed) friend. She needed to check out a residential school for her special needs daughter and wanted someone to come along for a second opinion. We spent about four hours at the school, then had a girls' weekend sight-seeing and having dinner at the Hard Rock. My DH encouraged me to go on both trips. He takes a lot of weekend trips to compete with his mens' singing group. He's also on the board of the singing organization and often travels for board meetings. I've spent many a weekend alone with the kids. When I get a chance to go off with my sister or a friend, he sends me with his blessing!

 

[rockawaybeachgirl]

First, let me say my DH would not just be ok with it, but would enourage it - and in fact he has. Even going further than the OP, I have a very good male friend (friends for 10+ years)who currently works in Tokyo, and when he is in town my DH encourages me to have lunch/dinner/drinks with him.

But second, I wanted to say I don't understand the relevance of your friend being single?? I mean, it seems totally unfair to think someone's decision would be influenced by whether she is single or married. I'm pretty sure married ppl can get into a lot of trouble (!) and it seems very cruel to essentially say, 'Sorry Sally, I could go with you if you were married, but since you haven't been able to land a man, our trip is out"!

 

[K and K's Mommy]

My high school friends and I went to Las Vegas to celebrate our 40th birthdays. All of our husbands were fine with it and encouraged us to go. We've stayed in touch all these years, yet none of us live in our hometown.

 

[Planogirl]

Frankly, I don't know if I would have married someone who had problems with such things. Not that there is anything wrong with that if that's what someone wants but I'd be uncomfortable.

 

[NYEmomma]

Even going further than the OP, I have a very good male friend (friends for 10+ years)who currently works in Tokyo, and when he is in town my DH encourages me to have lunch/dinner/drinks with him.

I have a male friend who has similar taste in music as I do. We actually met online on a music forum and just so happened to live in neighboring cities. DH cannot stand the type of music I listen to & neither can my friend's wife. It was like pulling teeth to get DH to go to a concert with me & he was never really comfortable going by myself because a lot of venues are in shady areas.

So HE actually suggested I started going to concerts with this guy I met online. Before kids, we'd probably go to a show a month... if it got done earlier than we expected, we'd find a bar & have some drinks.

We have a blast together & DH is perfectly happy with it. We now both have young children so we do more family-style get togethers now that DH & his wife are involved in too. But we still try to hit some shows here & there when we can.

 

[Pumbaa_]

I leave Wed for 5 days in Disney with friends

 

[believenfaith]

Married 17 delicious years. I have a group of friends that go away for a few days every few years (usually on a two day cruise-to-nowhere). Hubby has no problem with it! I think that a happy marriage is made up of couple time, family time, parent/child time and individual time.

Ditto for me. Friends & I did the 2 day cruise to nowhere from NYC in October then spent Sat night in the city. We had a blast.

DH flew to Tampa Thurs...went with my brother to the WVU-USF football game yesterday and is coming home tomorrow.

We adhere to the couple, family and ind time philosophy as well....it's been working for 18 yrs & I wouldn't change a thing

 

[mickeysgal]

My husband wouldn't think twice about it. I can't fathom why he wouldn't approve of it. I've traveled without him many a time to vacation with friends or family.

OP - I'm assuming that your DH isn't thrilled with the idea. Why? Because your friend is single? Not sure what that implies. Is there more background to this?

 

[JessicaR]

Yes absolutely positively. Not a problem at all.

 

[MELSMICE]

My DH wouldn't not have a problem with it at all. When our DD's were 4, 1 & 1 I went to San Francisco with one of my sisters for 3 nights.

This past summer I went with my other sister & I met sister mentioned above in NYC & then went to her house in Jersey for a few days.

He doesn't have a problem with anything like that at all & I don't have a problem with him doing things either.

I don't understand the "would he/she allow you to or have a problem with you doing something".

 

[Wanderlust]

My husband would encourage me to go and I'd have no problem going.

 

[AverageDiser]

My husband would have major problems on several different fronts- that it's Atlantic City, the amount of money I would spend, and would probably be calling every 15 minutes to see exactly what I was doing and who I was with.

Of course- that's why he's single again.

 

[BMC423]

OP, you said that it was within driving distance so I'm going to assume you live in NYC, NJ, or PA. Honestly AC while it is a nightlife type of thing its not crazy or anything its no Vegas. I live in NYC and have gone to AC overnight with friends a few times, mostly to concerts other times to just have fun. It sounds like a good girls night out. Is your husband ok with watching both kids? Or is the Monday thing the problem cause I can see that being an issue especially if he has to go to work on Monday.

 

[kirstenb1]

DH is cool with this. Although the last time I was away with friends was 3 yrs ago. He's spending a week with his dad, my dad, and my brothers on a boat in the Carribbean for a week in Feb, so he'll definitely owe me!!!

 

[DaisyD]

I do this 2-3 times a year. A friend and I go to AC overnight and just have a good time with with not kids or husbands. We went to Vegas this past June for 5 days and had a blast. While we do take trips together, the ones apart are also nice.

 

[Becky2005]

Mine would but I'm assuming if you are asking the question, yours might not be.

Although...mine is more happy if I am taking the kids WITH me vs. not.

 

[LBIJim]

Sure. I go away for a long weekend about twice a year with my buddy for a hockey or baseball game in some out-of-town location. My wife occasionally stays overnight at a friend's house. Four or five times over the years she took a girls-only trip somewhere.

These were 3-4 day trips maximum. Not sure how we'd feel if the trips were for a week or more.

Jim

 

[bumbershoot]

The question in the poll was general. The question in the first post was specific.


Neither of us would be comfortable if the other one wanted to just randomly go to a gambling place with one friend. I went to Reno for my oldest friend's bachelorette party, and I was miserable. I don't gamble, they were all smoking establishments so I was sick, and my friend got SO drunk the entire time that we were basically on engagement-ring-patrol, as she was wearing her 1carat diamond and it kept almost sliding off (and we had found out that she didn't have it insured as a replacement just wouldn't be the same) and we saw the people around her eyeing it.


DH travels for work and has NO interest in traveling with buddies; he's an extreme home-person, he has always dreamed of having a family and rushes home to be with us. But he and DS have sent ME off on solo Disneyland trips! I tour a lot more, hmm, frantically than they do, and before I started the solo trips I would come home upset because while THEY had a great time, I did not. So they figured that if I could go and play at disneyland by myself, I'd be happier overall and happier on our slower family trips. It worked!

I haven't been on a solo trip in over 2 years, but I leave on Tuesday for one! Yay!

DH will be working from home on those days (DS is homeschooled, so doesn't have a place to go during the day) and he's happy to do it. Work/play a board game/work/play videogames/work/watch a movie while working....their perfect sort of day.

wow - very cool how much traveling you do. And I get how it makes you a richer person, but not how it makes your dh a richer person.

She said he travels too.

He came to Australia without me before we moved here, and will be doing Sweden in August...

Though I have actually found that having DH travel for work has made me more ME; I didn't think I'd gone all soft, but it turns out that I had, with his presence, and it was very good for me to re-realize that I am totally capable of being the only adult, the only parent, etc etc.

But second, I wanted to say I don't understand the relevance of your friend being single?? I mean, it seems totally unfair to think someone's decision would be influenced by whether she is single or married. I'm pretty sure married ppl can get into a lot of trouble (!) and it seems very cruel to essentially say, 'Sorry Sally, I could go with you if you were married, but since you haven't been able to land a man, our trip is out"!

Well...when I was single, my married friends' husbands didn't totally trust it when we all went out.

What they didn't realize is that I was the one constantly shocked at how boy-crazy they still were! But I got blamed for any craziness that ensued.


On a different side...a friend of mine who married at 22 was losing interest by her mid-30s. So she started going on "girl's" trips. The women she tended to invite were single, divorced, or just about divorced. She did that for a reason; they were really really FUN and didn't raise an eyebrow when she went off with guys. Then her 40th birthday came around and she invited them, as well as two of her college friends (me and another woman), both of whom were rather happily married, on a 4 night trip for a Madonna concert. I got my hijinks out of my system BEFORE accepting a proposal, and a near-affair that ended abruptly when pregancy-by-husband was discovered ended the other friend's nonsense). We had NO idea what our friend had been up to, or that she was tired of her husband (he looks like an Aztec god, he is BEAUTIFUL and kind and nice and sweet and we were all jealous of her when she introduced us to him in college), and we were very very surprised. Especially the morning when we woke up to find her and a guy from the club the night before sleeping next to each other.

We hadn't been enjoying all the over-the-top flirting that was going on by the married women, so the other college friend and I had left early and gone to bed. We were nice and trustworthy. The single/divorced/soon-to-be-divorced women she had chosen to invite, however, urged her on and invited the guy to breakfast with them.

So there CAN be a difference!

 

[Ember]

wow - very cool how much traveling you do. And I get how it makes you a richer person, but not how it makes your dh a richer person.

I meant the fact that we each travel independently as well as together makes us richer people. I don't think the person staying at home is better off for not getting to go anywhere. I should have been clearer!