Question for the married folks.

[Andtototoo]

I've gone on several vacations with friends. We have gone to NYC and LA to see shows, go to the beach, visit art museums -- all stuff and places my dh either has no interest in or actively dislikes, but which I love.

IMO, getting married didn't mean I have to forsake activities and places I love because he doesn't. Assuming money and parental responsibilities are not problems, I would have had a serious issue with my dh if he had tried to tell me or even ask me not to go on these vacations. (Similarly, I've had no problem with him going to Comic Cons or other activities with his friends.)

I will say that we had a discussion about "separate vacations" prior to marriage thanks to an exercise a high school teacher had us do in which we created a "Marriage Contract". We had to come up with three lists -- things that were non-negotiables, things we didn't not care about and things that needed negotiation. On that list were separate vacations. I had found that the marriage contract lists were a useful way of weeding guys out as potential long term relationship interests and had the habit of bringing up items on those lists.

 

[Coconut36]

Wouldn't be an issue but would require some pre planning and such as I am the SAH parent and get the kids off to school and pick them up so if I was gone during that time we would have to make some arrangements for all that.

 

[U2_rocks!]

My spouse and I do take short separate trips sometimes, according to our interests etc., so in theory there is no issue. Hoever, there are times when it could be problematic for one of us to be away. Most of the time we can make it work though.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

I'm not married but if I was I would be upset if my spouse had a problem with it. I could understand if the friend was of the opposite sex but other than that there shouldn't be an issue with either party having a night out (even the whole night) with friends occasionally.

 

[scrapquitler]

WOW. Never seen a poll on the DIS before with virtually everyone in agreement before!!!!

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Other: Not enough information.

 

[Caropooh]

In the past 10 years, I've been on a weekend trip to vegas, a weekend trip to NYC and a week long trip to NYC, all with friends I've met on the internet. (WDW and NYC with people from the DIS!) I voted yes!

 

[NYEmomma]

Now that DD is getting older & DH is more confident in his parenting abilities , he wouldn't have a problem with me going away as long as we planned it in advance & consulted w/ him for best dates, times, etc.

Once the twins are born.... I don't I'll be going ANYWHERE by myself for a long, long while.

The only stink DH would put up is that we don't have enough money for a "vacation". Which is true; we don't. Which is also why I have yet to do anything like this... though I'd love to!

 

[AlwaysMoving]

Considering the number of port visits my husband had during countless deployments, I don't think he has much say in who my friends are, where we go, or what we do. I had to trust him. He has to trust me.

 

[bigbabyblues]

Assuming it was not a night he had to work (which would leave nobody home with our kids overnight), he would not mind at all.

 

[dngnb8]

A friend of mine wants me to go to Atlantic City with her for the night for her birthday (within driving distance). She is single, never been married, and has no kids. I, am married, and have two children, 5 & 6. She wants to go on a Sunday, come home Monday.
My question is - Would your spouce be OK with this?

Depends


If a male wants to spend a day away, with my wife, nope, it aint happening jack! And Vice Versa

But my wife has taken Girls Only Trips as I have taken Guys Only Trips.

 

[lovin'fl]

I picked other because my DH would be ok with some scenarios. My DH would NOT be ok with OP's scenario, but would be ok with other overnights (like if I were in a scrapbooking group who went to a cabin in the mountains for the weekend to scrapbook...some gals I know did that). He would not be ok with me overnighting with a single friend and especially not to a party venue. May not be right, but I know that's how he feels. In 15 years of marriage, I have never done an overnight away without DH (aside from me and the kids staying at my mom's or the inlaws a couple times). In April, I'm going on a week long cruise with my mom...it'll be a 1st.

 

[ead79]

My husband wouldn't have a problem with me going on a girls' getaway. In fact, I've done it several times in our marriage. He tends to hang out with his guy friends those weekends.

 

[Ember]

I have travelled for extended periods of a month or more by myself across Africa and with friends across Europe. I'm planning another solo trip to China in the next few months and hope to do India after that. (I do a lot of work as a professional volunteer.) He came to Australia without me before we moved here, and will be doing Sweden in August (both conferences). So, yes, I think he'd be okay with my going out for a night with the girls.

I've had people look at me funny for travelling without my husband, but I think it makes us richer people.

 

[Chelley00]

My DH would NOT be ok with OP's scenario, but would be ok with other overnights (like if I were in a scrapbooking group who went to a cabin in the mountains for the weekend to scrapbook...some gals I know did that).

I go on a scrapbook retreat once a year for 4 nights with a group of girlfriends. DH encourages me to go, and the one year I said I wasn't going, he pretty much forced me out the door. When planning vacations he always saves 2 days vacation time to take care of the kids while I'm gone. He goes on fishing trips in the fall.

We fully trust each other and he'd have no problem with me going someplace like Atlantic City because he knows I would never do anything, and likewise I would be happy to let him go.

 

[luvmy3]

My dh would be okay with that and vice versa.

 

[bellebud]

I have travelled for extended periods of a month or more by myself across Africa and with friends across Europe. I'm planning another solo trip to China in the next few months and hope to do India after that. (I do a lot of work as a professional volunteer.) He came to Australia without me before we moved here, and will be doing Sweden in August (both conferences). So, yes, I think he'd be okay with my going out for a night with the girls.

I've had people look at me funny for travelling without my husband, but I think it makes us richer people.

wow - very cool how much traveling you do. And I get how it makes you a richer person, but not how it makes your dh a richer person.

 

[bellebud]

my dh would be ok w/ me going overnight w/ a girlfriend, but I'm going to guess he wouldn't be happy about AC, just because of safety concerns. He'd be more comfortable w/ a different location.

 

[topolino]

I can't imagine any spouse having a problem with this, and I'll even go as far as to say that if they did, it would signify that there are problems in the marriage.

 

[StephMK]

Yes, he would be totally fine with it. We both take solo trips and I love it when he goes away. I like the alone time & usually do something fun w/the kids. He does the same and we are both totally comfortable being in charge or having a break away.