Question for SAHP & Preschool?

[grace&philipsmom]

My two kids did or are doing preschool. It offers a lot of peer interaction and structure. They do other activities as well (dance, music etc) but preschool is a completely different experience. DD's kindergarten teacher told me she can always tell which kids did preschool and which did not.

 

[Dannielle_1]

OP here, thanks for all the input.

Just to mix it up a bit, I will add my $.02.

I was a SAHM to my 3 girls, this year is my first year working, only part time, as a pre-school teacher of all things.

My oldest went for 2 years. She needed it. Not acedemically, she was reading when she was 3, but socially she needed it.

My middle DD went to the same preschool for half a year at the age of 3, but the school had so many problems we pulled her and didn't put her back in. She did lots of activities without me, but did fine at school. She is my shy child, but I am not sure preschool would have helped that. Who knows? She did not go to kindergarten knowing how to read, as most kids don't, but learned fine in school.

My youngest went to no preschool at all, again, lots of activites without mom like dance class and stuff. She is the most outgoing kid, talks to everyone, and was reading before she went to kindergarten (though not at 3 like DD15.) Her teacher in kindergarten said she wished al her kids were so well behaved. Now, she is one of the oldest in her class, so that has something to do with it as well.

Anyway, I guess from what everyone is saying you should do it. But for my kids, it wasn't necessary. They got what they needed from all their activities. Financially we had to choose, all the activities or preschool and we went with all the activities and it was not the wrong choice for us.

ETA- Our school is half day kindergarten, if it was full day I would probably have reconsidered this.

This is where I think I'm stuck, the expectation that all kids should go to preschool. I'm just not sure that DS needs it.

As long as you aren't staying at all his classes and he has to listen to the teacher and behave appropriately and is away from you. He is getting pre-school. Do you cut and color and work on letters and sounds at home? Does he know his letters and numbers? Do you talk and show him money and how much change you are getting back, etc?

To answer your questions:
Cut & Color at Home - some.
Letters and Sounds - yes - he can sound out short words, I fully expect him to be reading well before Kindergarten, even without preschool.
Letters & Numbers - yes & yes. He can count to 100 and can usually recognize all the numbers up to 100 (occasionally says a number backwards - ie. 46 is 64).
Money - have done a little bit but will definately be working on that more over the next year. We don't use cash much, so not much day to day actual use of it.

No preschool for DD13. She started full day Kindergarten at 5 and did great.

In your situation, I wouldn't give up so many activities that your child enjoys for preschool. I'd enjoy one more year of freedom with him.

I guess I've always heard the teachers know who hasn't gone to preschool, and what not, but how long does it take a non-preschooler to "get into the swing of things" so to speak.

But I think it is a HUGE advantage when it comes to knowing how to "do" school. Handling their own coats, dealing with their own lunch (opening, eating, cleaning up) walking in the halls, carpool line, listening to someone else besides me for an extended period of time, negotiating social situations on their own, being away from me, making great arts and crafts that are messier than I allow at home, even good old "show and tell" gets them used to communicating clearly in front of a group.

This is my one concern the "doing" school part. But, I also feel that DS would catch on pretty quickly. We have visited one preschool so far, and were there for the full preschool day, and over all he did really well and fit right in. And this class was a year ahead of him (we visited with the kids going into K in the fall). He did well standing in line, waiting his turn, sitting on the floor during circle time, etc.

Also, most preschool teachers are not glorified "babysitters" they have proper degrees in childhood development. So if there is a question about kindergarten readiness, or any delays or issues that your child may have they can get you going in the right direction to help your child. !"

I still have to look at a few other options, but the one I did go to I almost felt this was the case a bit - a glorified "babysitter." They did one worksheet - writing the letter Q. There was no teaching on how to do it, just told the kids to trace the Qs then color them in - I've done more than this at home. I live in a rural county, and was hoping to find something nearby (one other option here), but I might have to travel into "town" to find something that would work better.

To me, a good preschool is worth its weight in gold. I know I am doing the right thing, on MW & F when I as my dd what she wants to do to day and she throws her hands up in the air and screams "GO TO SCHOOL!"

Honestly DS will probably love school as well, but he also loves all of his other activities as well. And as I said in the original post, we can't do it all.

As far as scheduling all those activities for a child pre-school age.. that I couldn't imagine.

I guess it sounds like a lot, but I elected to do these instead of preschool this year. We still have lots and lots of free time. I wanted DS to be exposed to lots of different things, and he's enjoyed them all. Also, I always ask him before I sign him up for something if he wants to try it out or do it again. The only non-negotables for him/me are swimming and library and fortunately he loves both. Swimming we'll hold onto for next year if we decide on preschool, that would be the only extra I could pay for, library would probably be out because of when it is offered. We'll see.

 

[jessica52877]

I didn't see too many answers going the other way.

My DS7 never went to preschool and no issues what so ever. He was fine both socially and academically entering K, now in 1st and still getting the highest marks possible. His was an all day K but they did have rest time for 20 minutes.

He did do the library but not alot of other organized activities before starting K. Lots of interaction with kids though, just playing.

 

[mothermouse]

Hi, I'm a SAHM and we are sending our DD3 to preschool in the fall tues -thurs- 2.5 hrs each day and when she's 4 mon-weds- fri 2.5 hrs each day. she can't wait -- she say's " mom tell me about school" she gets sooo excited when i tell her, about her upcoming time at school. Time for her to learn independence from me, socialize with children her own age, follow claasroom rules etc. she is already smart, but school will enhance her in many ways. And not to mention give me time to work out or do errands or whatever i need to be a better mom and wife( everyone needs a little piece of mind) Whatever you choose, I'm sure it will be a good choice for you and your family

 

[allison443]

I think you have gotten a lot of good input!
I will just add that as far his other activities that you seem concerned about dropping, some of those would be "covered" by him going to preschool (of course, depending on the particular preschool you choose.)
The school could have an art component, a nature component, free play, and literacy-themed activities. Some preschools have gym time, music, etc.

My kids all went to preschool and had a great experience! Other kids don't go and do fine as well.

It sounds like you are making sure he has all the necessary social/academic experiences he needs, whether he goes to preschool or through home learning, other activities, etc.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[StephMK]

Is your K full or half day? I think it sounds like he's getting plenty of activities, the only thing I could think that preschool would add would just be following a set schedule for an extended period of time. My kids went for 2 yrs of preschool each & I worked there part time. Even going 4 3 hr days, when he went to full day kindy, he came home exhausted for the first month.

If he will go to 1/2 day Kindy, it doesn't sound like he needs to go. Though if he is really social, he might really like the interaction of a preschool day. DS is very social & loved school. Mine went to a play based school so it was less academically focused in terms of sitting & tracing letters, etc. & perfect for them. They learned through activities & hands on type stuff.

 

[Swimalie]

Is your K full or half day? .

Yes, it would be full-day. All of Virginia has full-day Kindergarten. My son will be starting this fall.

From experience, a friend of mine waited until this year, when her son was over 3, to start him in preschool. Before he was used to being in a lot of activities outside the house like your son as well. But, now he fights going to school because he's not used to being away from home for such a long stretch (3 hours). That's something to consider. Your son will go from being away from you and home for an hour or so to 6 hours in 18 months. Will he be ready to handle that?

 

[bumbershoot]

We homeschool, but even if we weren't, I wouldn't have sent him. Probably woudn't have sent him to K, either, since it's not required. Heck, in WA kids aren't even required to be known to the district until they are 8, so....


To me, it sounds like...preschool is a place to get used to being in school. Honestly, K sounds like the same thing. I went to Montessori from 4-6 yo, which is VERY different from the elementary school I went to, but I did just fine in 1st grade (academically and following the rules-wise). Was much further along in all ways than the other kids in 1st, except that they'd all forged friendships in K. But I was shy to begin with. My brother did Montessori from 2 (not usual for a proper Montessori school, but my mom knew the owner and they made a huge exception for him b/c he was crazy-smart and crazy-social) to 6, and he went right into 1st like gangbusters...he's just much much different than I am, in terms of shyness etc etc. He also had friends in Montessori, which I never did, it was just a personality thing.

I wouldn't give a rip if teachers "can tell" who went to preschool and who didn't.

School is for learning. Teaching should be done. So if kids need to sit in a circle in order for the work to be done, the teachers get to help the kids learn that.

DS (coming up on 6) is terrific with people of all ages, but has been a bit bowled over by the afterschool, cooped up all day, given big shots of sugar ( I see what they eat on their way into the gym) between school and dinner, gymastics kids, but he's figuring it out! He stands on the line just fine, he follows his gymastics and swimming teachers perfectly now, and is done with looking to me for encouragement, and now asks the teachers in a clear voice if he didn't hear them or has a question. Which, frankly, was a place I didn't get to until I was 24 (public schooled from grade 1 on!), so I'm pretty impressed!

He's doing great, despite no "preschool" and despite doing K work at home. Thank goodness so many of the instructors at the Y were homeschooled themselves (not sure this is the norm at Ys, but it's been really great for us!) and they know that some kids just need a bit of extra learning time for the extra stuff like standing on the line...though actually, at least with the groups he's in, it seems it's the kids who were just let out of school who need extra help in standing on the line (though certainly not ALL of them)...


So OP if you want to send DS to school to learn how to do school, send him. If you prefer to wait a bit, until school is more about learning about subjects, then wait. I know which I would choose.

 

[indimom]

They did fine in K and are still A/B students with no academic or social issues. (DD12 and DS10)
I think preschool is fine if you want to do it, but in no way is it necessary for every child. I know this is a rare opinion and others may flame me for it, but there it is...

 

[okeydokey]

Preschool is so beneficial. I would send him. He'll have so much fun he won't even know he's learning.

 

[Andrea73]

Both of mine did/are doing preschool.

#1 now, 8 did 3 years. A young 3 class, young 4 and then Ga Pre-K. ( I was NOT impressed with the GA-Pre K)

#2 now 4 years old started off in a young 2 class two days a week, she did 3 days last year in young 3, is doing 4 days a week now and will do 5 days a week next year in her young 5 class. (She misses the K cutoff by 7 days!)

I can tell you that at 4.5 she can count to 30, know all of her letters and letter sounds and can take all of the letters of the alphabet and put them in order, she can write her name well and if you spell out a word, she can write it.

I can also tell you that where we live, K is not about transitioning to school. By the end of the year they are expected to be reading and be able to write at least three sentences with punctuation.

I am a HUGE fan of preschool.

I think that long term, it does not make a huge difference, but for K, I think it does.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Reading this thread I think there was one thing that was left out. Your child can be in 6 million activities but 6 weeks of something is not going to give you a real snapshot of how he is doing. When kids go to preschool they have teachers that work with them all year. They will tell you if your child is lagging in some area or if they are on par or if they are excelling. Let's be honest, parents are partial to their children. They should be. So you can't always see what is really going on with your child no matter how much you love them. We have all seen kids that can't get along with others in school etc. and the parents gush that their child is just "strong willed,independent, a leader" when the reality is that the child needs to be taught to behave.

Those classes you are going to are great but those teachers are not going to tell you anything about your child. They will say how cute and wonderful they are but will not offer any insight. I also think that kids need to learn how to follow the rules and structure of a classroom. K is not the place for that. K today is academic. The last thing the teachers need to be doing is getting a child to co-operate all day because they were never taught how to be a part of a community. Yes, there are some kids who do struggle with it a bit but having no knowledge of it would imo be a bigger hinderance. I would not do that to my child.

I love being home with my children. I look foward to school vacations more than they do! I just think that no matter how much I want them with me all the time I as their parent need to give them the best possible tools to succeed. YMMV.

 

[msmama]

I'll be sending my soon to be 2 year old in the fall. He'll start a 2 yr old program 2 days a week, the 3 yr old class is 3 days a week and then 4 yr old program is 5 1/2 days. When he starts K it'll be all day.

I couldn't IMAGINE going from home all day with Mom (even doing activities) to suddenly all day in school. That's why I personally am working up to full days over the next few years.

 

[LuLuO]

I'm jumping in on this a bit late but DD has been attending a little school (very informal) since she turned 2 this past August. Just something to get her used to being away from me for a few hours once or twice a week.

She will start our more structured public school pre-school this July, going two days a week. She will actually have 3 years of pre-school because of where her birthday falls she just misses the cutoff. Anyway she will go two days a week the first year, three days a week the second year and 5 days a week the third year.

I think it has been a great experience for her and I feel that she will be so better prepared for Kg both academically and emotionally than if I kept her at home with me all the time.

ETA: Just wanted to add that we don't just sit at home, but we do Parents as Teachers program events through our public school system and she is involved in Little Gym (has been since 4 months) and swim classes and such too. But I don't think that any of this can compare with a good pre-school learning environment.

 

[Andrea73]

I also think that kids need to learn how to follow the rules and structure of a classroom. K is not the place for that. K today is academic. The last thing the teachers need to be doing is getting a child to co-operate all day because they were never taught how to be a part of a community. .

I totally agree with this. In preschool they follow a schedule. They share and take turns. Clean up together. Interact with larger numbers of children daily than they do on a normal basis, and learn to deal with different personalities among their peers in the process. They sit quietly for circle time. They use the bathroom independently someplace other than at home. They put their own straw in their juice box. And to top it all off, they will most likely know their alphabet and letter sounds and even how to write their name.

It is a great way for them to learn the structure and behaviors expected in a classroom without it being as rigid as it is when they get to K.

 

[megan10310]

I am a SAHM (I have a daycare in my home) and we are pretty sure we are sending Landon to 1 year of preschool starting in August. I know he doesn't need it from a purely academic standpoint, we did developmental screening a month ago and he is on track or ahead in every area. He is, however, very nervous to participate in a group away from me. We had to drop out of a gymnastics class because he refused to participate unless I was RIGHT with him.

I feel like he will gain some confidence in the preschool classroom and that is my primary motivation in sending him. If my son was like yours (social and confident in the classes he is in) I would not send him to a year of preschool. He will do just fine!

 

[Dannielle_1]

Thanks again to everyone for their responses. Still considering my options and trying to decide what will work for my family and my son, but appreciate learning about others experiences/thoughts.

 

[disfan07]

Yes, it would be full-day. All of Virginia has full-day Kindergarten. My son will be starting this fall.

Not all of virginia. Fairfax County in Northern Virginia only has full day at some schools. At my old elementary school it's still AM and PM kindergarten.

As a former preschool aide, I think that you should send him to preschool. The reason I say that is because we had a lot of kids who were in the pre-k class in teh morning (we were preschool from 9-1 and daycare 1-6) and we had been told by their parents that they were very well behaved and that they were able to pay attention and follow directions etc but in reality, after about an hour or so, they were havign problems with the schedule. And this was something we saw across teh board with the kids who had never been before.

You said that your son did very well when you visited teh school for the day, but that is different. When the child does not know anyone in the class, there is less of a chance of them misbehaving or just not listening. I think preschool is great for them to learn when it is time to play with your friends and also learn when it is time to listen to directions WITH the distractions of your friends. I babysat for some of my students and they were very good at listening to directions at home and following the bedtime routine very well but put them with their friends in a classroom situation adn that changed for a lot of them.

It was great to see when these kids would learn that when the teachers were talking, they needed to be quiet and listen. I think that many people think that preschool is either a glorified daycare or that if their child is doing well academically that they don't need it. I think that many parents dont realize exactly how much these kids grow during a year of preschool socially as well as academically and that is as important in Kindergarten because tehy are not going to be as understadning with children misbehaving in kindergarten as we are in preschool.

I've never heard of parents regretting sending their child to preschool but I have talked to parents that regret NOT sending their child to preschool.

 

[honugirl]

I think it really depends on the kid. My mom sent me to 2 years of preschool (age 3 and 4), then it was straight into kindergarten-12 grade. By the time I hit the 12th grade, I was totally burned out on school. In my family it was expected that you go right from high school into college, I just wanted to go get a job! I think that was part of the reason I just quit on school (that and we didn't know I had a brain tumor screwing with things.... but I digress). I had been in school for almost my entire life!

I know my mom did it to socialize me because I was an only child, but honestly, I hated it. I was one of those kids who would prefer to play alone and never really had much use for other kids. I more or less tolerated them because I had to. I preferred adults to kids, in fact, I still do.

Now I'm the complete opposite. I can more or less talk to anyone and I love to learn and figure things out on my own, but I'm pretty darn sure preschool had absolutely nothing to do with that. My outgoing nature now is a result of the jobs that I had. Same with my problem solving nature, I am just naturally inquisitive, it wasn't something I learned.

I'm 100% positive that had I not gone to preschool I would have been just fine. My preschool did very little academically and I still excelled and was way above grade level every year.

 

[pooh4evr]

I am also a SAHM with 3 girls (9, 6 & 3) we have sent the older 2 for 2 yrs before Kindergarten - and DD#3 will start in July - 1st yr is 3 mornings a week then the yr before K - 3 full days - we choose the full day to get them ready for K -which is a full week. It has worked well for us and really in our experience by that time they are ready for school. Currently DD#3 is in indoor soccer and gymnastics too.