Question for people who have had to put their dog to sleep

[phillybeth]

Quite a few dog rescue people I know plant a tree or a shrub in remembrance of their doggy friends. If your friend doesn't have the room or property for this, maybe plant a tree at a school, or help a school create a garden in his memory.
People grieve in differnt ways, just be there for her and let her know it is okay to grieve for a pet.

 

[Shel]

We had to put down my 4 year old black lab/golden retriever/german shepherd mix this past July. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my Baylee. I think one of the important things that helped me was being able to talk about her, the good, bad & the ugly. Like other posters have said, they are not "just animals", they are our family. I firmly believe animals will be in heaven because they are an important part of God's creation. He's chosen to use animals all through the Bible, He also chose to save them on the ark...so I believe He'll chose to bring them out of time and into eternity. My biggest mistake was thinking another dog would help me heal, and it didn't. I do love our new 1 1/2 yr old Belgian Shepherd, but she had some big paws to fill, and although she'll never replace Baylee, she has a place in my heart.

Be a shoulder for your friend to cry on, and an ear for her to talk about her pet whenever she feels the need. It's part of the healing process. Let her know that as time goes on it will get easier dealing with her loss, but it's normal for grief to pop up out of nowhere also, and to expect it. When the pain isn't so intense she'll be able to think about her pet & smile more often.

Also, a picture is a good idea as well. I framed a picture of Baylee & put her 2 favorite toys beside of it. Our new dog Lacie isn't allowed to play with these toys.

Sorry so long!

 

[chager]

I lost my first dog the day before my 16th bday. I remember it was a Friday and I was having a bday party that night. It was a very hard time but it helped that the vet had come to the house to help Dandy and we didn't have to take him to the vet. When our son was almost a year old we had to have our 5yr old mancoon cat, Tubs, put down. That was hard and I was at work when my mom took him in. God bless her for doing it becuase neither my Dh or I could do it. Tubs was really sick though and we knew what had to be done. I told the vet if it would help we would donate his body becuase he had a rare heart defect. If we had $3000 we could have tried to have it corrected but they couldn't guarentee it would work. We did all we could for him. About a week later we went to the humane society and got our Lucy Girl. (Our other cat needed a companion) We still get out pictures and talk of silly things Tubs did. We are now starting to prepare our Ds9 for when we lose both my parent's dog and our oldest cat. Trixie,our cat, is 12 and very sick but the vet says she is doing ok right now. Something that could change today or years from now but she will not get better. Alex, mom's dog, is 16 and even has the vet baffled. According to all his tests he should not be alive, but he is. I better stop here becuase I think this is going to get the better of me and I'm going to cry.
As far as heaven goes.... I know my Dandy and my Tubs are playing with some child right now and entertaining all the angels with their antics.

 

[Tuffcookie]

I just remembered something else. A couple days after our Buddy was put down, the vet's office sent me flowers! I was very touched by their gesture!

TC

 

[christineann]

Our black lab mix, Jake, was diagnosed with lymphoma on New Years Eve. My vet told me Thursday night that we may have a week or two left with him. I've had to have dogs put down that were old and sick but never a 6 year old pup. I cry every night when I tuck him in on the comforter next to my bed. He still eats, wags his tail and even chases birds (not as fast as he used to). My son (his best buddy) goes back to college tomorrow and is devastated that he will probably never see his dog again. During the annual Blessing of the Animals at our church a few years ago, our minister said that when someone asks him if there are animals in heaven, he simply answers "of course there are animals in heaven. Otherwise, how could heaven be perfect?"

The poem about the dog at St. Peter's gate is one that I have kept in my Bible for years and given to friends who are grieving the loss of a pet. "Just a dog" I've never had "just a dog".
I feel for all of you who have lost beloved pets or are facing it. As I told my son, the only way to avoid this is to decide not to have pets. That's out of the question for us.

 

[DocRafiki]

Add me to the list of people who are bawling now for your friend, and for you, christineann.

I had to copy some of those poems that were posted. The "grieve not" one is beautiful. Others I will read later... too sad now.

My last personal pet loss was in 1997 (mother and daughter in one year), and I still cry for them now and then. The worst is people who belittle your grief or try to get you to replace them. I still remember my dad getting mad at me for crying about my Duchess a few months after she died. I was in 8th grade.

There has been tons of good advice here.

Another issue she might come across a little later is guilt over getting a new pet. My answer to this is very simple, and for me leaves 0% guilt. I try to lead people to rescue a homeless animal. Knowing that the pet NEEDS you takes away any thoughts of trying to replace a pet. When you realize that every pet that you don't rescue is another one who dies needlessly, how can there be guilt? I tell people that because their pet died, another animal will get to live out its life to the fullest. I imagine it brings the same type of comfort that organ donation brings to families of accident victims. I know I've never felt an ounce of guilt about getting new pets once I realized this.

I don't mention getting a new pet unless the person brings it up first (or if a few weeks have gone by and they're still excessively depressed). They might think you're trying to make them forget their deceased pet or that you're trying to have him/her replaced. And THAT is just maddening.

 

[vhoffman]

We had a beloved pet cat put to sleep 5 years ago. Reading this the tears are running down my face right now. I guess its something you never truly get over. The "rainbow Bridge" peom really touched me. Pets are people, too!

 

[christineann]

Several friends have offered me names of people who have puppies or are expecting puppies, and I just thank them. I will go back to the animal shelter, where I got Jake and the two dogs I had before him. I don't know when I will go - can't even think about it - but I know that it won't be three years like last time. I appreciate your thoughts, and I am thinking about those of you who have been through it or are facing it like we are. You know, dogs, cats, and any other animals make life GOOD. Blessings to you all.

 

[julie_yet]

We had to put out sweet kitty to sleep last June. He was 16 and barely able to walk with failing health. But it was still the hardest thing I've ever done. My dad, sister and I were all there when he died. The nurse said she was comforted that we all stayed with him. We brought him home in the little coffin and he now has permanent residence in our backyard.

I started a thread here when it first happened and everyone was so supportive and caring. My sister and I really appreciated all the replies.

For a while I couldn't walk past the pet food aisle without tearing up. And every once in a while when someone rattles the back door handle I think it's Rudy coming in the house. He could open the doors by himself to get in.

About 4 months afterwards I found the sympathy card from the vets office which was so sweet. And a few weeks ago we got an old roll of film developed and there were pictures of him on it that we'd forgotten were taken.

BTW, he's the kitty in my avatar.