question for Catholics re: marriage

[wdwfan16]

Not a debate, we just don't know how this works?
my brother (Christian) is engaged to a Catholic girl. we don't really know much about the religion. they've talked about maybe an outdoor wedding. and she's also mentioned a catholic service. will a catholic priest do an outdoor wedding? or marry them at all since my brother is not catholic?

I have been to weddings where a Catholic Priest did the ceremony outside of the Church but is it not a full Catholic Mass, just a vow exchange. Most who want a full Catholic Mass have the ceremony in the Church.

The Priest will perform the ceremony even though your brother is not Catholic. He most likely will want them to pledge that they will raise the children Catholic.

 

[wdwfan16]

We had a full mass at our wedding and I wasn't Catholic at the time. The non Catholics could not take communion but others did.

Your brother will have to take marriage classes. And if the Priest doesn't feel they are ready for marriage can refuse to marry them.

This is how I have always know it to be. If one is Catholic then a full Catholic Mass can be performed. The Non-Catholic will not be given communion but a blessing byt the Priest instead.

 

[rie'smom]

It really depends on the priest. Most usually won't do an outside wedding, because it's not in the church and therefore not recognized by the church. Not sure why. I have been Catholic my entire life and this has never made sense to me. The only way they can have a full Catholic mass is for your brother to join the church and become Catholic. A priest will marry them in the church if your brother does not want to become Catholic, but it will be a generic ceremony and not a full mass. Hope this helps! Michelle PS - Catholics are Christians, too. Sorry - this just really annoys me!!

Nope. My 1st husband was not Catholic and we were married in a High Mass. I've attended the wedding Masses for other people where 1 member of the couple was not Catholic.

I was born/raised Catholic but DH was not. We were married in the church (to make my mother happy). In they eyes of the church it was considered a "joined union" instead of a sacrament because DH is not Catholic.

If your future SIL doesn't care about that, there are many priests that would perform the ceremony elsewhere.

It is recognized as a Sacrament even though 1 member of the couple is not Catholic.
" In the theology of the Catholic Church the consent of the couple constitutes the sacrament."
It is not a Sacrament if:

It is only a civil wedding.

It is a marriages between non-baptised spouses which won't happen in the Church because 1 of them has to have been baptized Catholic.

A marriage where one or both partners cannot celebrate the sacrament because of age or previous commitments or some other impediment. If one is too young, pressured into marriage, mentally incapable, already married, a person who took religious vows.

 

[ICF]

You really need to contact your local church. Nobody here on th DIS or any other website can tell you how it will work at your LOCAL church.

My wife was not Catholic, but had been baptised (Methodist) and we had the wedding w/o issue in the church. We could have had the full mass had we wanted, but decided not to go that route. It wasn't a 5 mins service, but still lasted a good 30 mins or so and pretty much just left out the 2nd part of a normal mass.

Some churches will do outside weddings and some won't....it's a local decision generally.

 

[mjkacmom]

I really wanted an outdoor wedding, but it's not allowed here (and my cousin married us). DH and I are both Catholic, but decided not to have a full Mass. In retrospect, our wedding was almost as long as a Mass, just without communion. A PP mentioned circumstances where a non-Catholic could take communion, but I've never heard of it. Everyone has to take precana classes, either several, or an overnight retreat.

 

[ICF]

I thought there were limited circumstances where non-Catholics could partake in the Eucharist. I know I read something about it in the missalette during mass, it's been a few years though. It was something to do with visiting. I would speak with the priest specifically about this if it is important.

nope, Catholic's only.

 

[LisaNJ25]

This isn't true he doesn't have to become Catholic, I am Catholic, my DH Lutheran and we had a Catholic Mass and our kids are Catholic.

It depends on your church some will not do it.

Personally I am not catholic and my husband is. We were married outside by a mayor. I could care less if it was recognized by a church. A wedding is a wedding.

Our 4 kids are baptized catholic and only 1 of the 2 godparents is catholic.

 

[Katieinwonderland]

I agree with the other PPs, it really depends on the Priest performing the ceremony and the Parish.

DH is Catholic, and I'm Church of England and we had to get married in a Catholic Church. We had our wedding at Disney, but couldn't get married in the wedding pavillion, it had to be in a Catholic Church to be recognized by the Priest (the Priest is DH's Uncle so I would have thought he could have bent the rules, but he couldn't)

There were classes we had to take to get married in the Catholic Church - we had to meet with a couple picked out by the Parish once a week for a month (I think) to talk about our relationship etc. It was kind of weird but the couple we had were nice. We also had to attend a class...what was it called...I don't remember the name, but it was for about 50 people at the church one saturday about three months before the wedding. It went over aspects of a marriage, but also talked about things like home insurance, filing joint taxes, things like that.

Our ceremony wasn't a full mass, just a regular ceremony.

 

[mvazul]

Nope. My 1st husband was not Catholic and we were married in a High Mass. I've attended the wedding Masses for other people where 1 member of the couple was not Catholic.

Again, it depends on the priest/church - which is exactly what I said in my first post. I was married once when I was very young (20). My ex-husband was not Catholic. My priest allowed us to get married in the church but refused to perform a full mass. For my second marriage (and definitely last ), my husband is Catholic. Again, I wanted to have a full mass. However, both of us had been married before. My husband and his ex-wife got married outside. New priest, same church, would not marry us, because his marriage had taken place outside. If we would have both gotten annulments, he would have married us. I was granted one, but my husband didn't want to go through the trouble, because he would have had to get in contact with his ex. I was okay with that and we were married outside at the Pennsylvania Grand Canyon by a friend I went to school with. Again, it all depends on the priest/church/diocese.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

My DH is not Catholic. I am.

We were married in a Catholic church with a full mass. My priest advised against it since half the church would be non-Catholics, but I knew a full mass ceremony was important to my grandmother so thats what we went with.

It is not recognized as a "union" it is a marriage. We had to attend pre-cana classes. I remember once a week for six weeks about 2 hours a night. Not too bad, most were pretty entertaining. Plus agree to raise our kids Catholic.

We're going back 20 years with all this information. My priest was even pretty strict and there was no problem marrying us. Funny thing though we couldn't take pictures after the ceremony in the church (during OK) The priest said it was a house of God, not a photo studio. So we had to take all post-wedding pictures outside. Thank goodness it was 82 and sunny,

OP" You really need to contact your church and priest. From all the different responses its easy to see, it varies greatly from diocese to diocese.

 

[dawson5]

nope, Catholic's only.

Nope

http://www.usccb.org/liturgy/current/intercom.shtml

For our fellow Christians

We welcome our fellow Christians to this celebration of the Eucharist as our brothers and sisters. We pray that our common baptism and the action of the Holy Spirit in this Eucharist will draw us closer to one another and begin to dispel the sad divisions which separate us. We pray that these will lessen and finally disappear, in keeping with Christ’s prayer for us “that they may all be one” (Jn 17:21).

Because Catholics believe that the celebration of the Eucharist is a sign of the reality of the oneness of faith, life, and worship, members of those churches with whom we are not yet fully united are ordinarily not admitted to Holy Communion. Eucharistic sharing in exceptional circumstances by other Christians requires permission according to the directives of the diocesan bishop and the provisions of canon law (canon 844 § 4). Members of the Orthodox Churches, the Assyrian Church of the East, and the Polish National Catholic Church are urged to respect the discipline of their own Churches. According to Roman Catholic discipline, the Code of Canon Law does not object to the reception of communion by Christians of these Churches (canon 844 § 3).

It is limited but allowed. See your priest. It does sound like the OP brother is Penecostal, which does exclude him.

 

[dawson5]

It depends on your church some will not do it.

Personally I am not catholic and my husband is. We were married outside by a mayor. I could care less if it was recognized by a church. A wedding is a wedding.

Our 4 kids are baptized catholic and only 1 of the 2 godparents is catholic.

How did you get non-Catholic godparents? I wanted my uncle's wife to be a godmother to one of our sons, she was not allowed because she was not Catholic. I had our two oldest in Ohio, the priest there would not allow it and we had the youngest in Indiana, priest there would not allow it. All were baptized at the same church though, we had to have all the paperwork for their present church in place though.

 

[ICF]

How did you get non-Catholic godparents? I wanted my uncle's wife to be a godmother to one of our sons, she was not allowed because she was not Catholic. I had our two oldest in Ohio, the priest there would not allow it and we had the youngest in Indiana, priest there would not allow it. All were baptized at the same church though, we had to have all the paperwork for their present church in place though.

Also here in Indiana (Layafette disocease) and we only had to have 1 Catholic godparent.

 

[dawson5]

We're Fort Wayne/South Bend now and in Ohio were part of the Diocese of Cleveland. Both priests were different ages, in Ohio he was mid-40's, Indiana mid-60's. I don't know if it was age or area, they would not allow it though. Truly bummed me out, she is a great person and wonderful aunt to my children.

 

[wdwfan16]

There was a time when 3 out of 4 had to be Catholic at the Baptism. 4 = 2 parents + 2 Godparents. Lately it seems they are allowing it with just 2, one parent and one Godparent. Again this will vary by Diocese and Parish.

 

[dawson5]

There was a time when 3 out of 4 had to be Catholic at the Baptism. 4 = 2 parents + 2 Godparents. Lately it seems they are allowing it with just 2, one parent and one Godparent. Again this will vary by Diocese and Parish.

I wonder if that is it then, my husband is not Catholic, he is Brethren.

 

[NAB]

How did you get non-Catholic godparents? I wanted my uncle's wife to be a godmother to one of our sons, she was not allowed because she was not Catholic. I had our two oldest in Ohio, the priest there would not allow it and we had the youngest in Indiana, priest there would not allow it. All were baptized at the same church though, we had to have all the paperwork for their present church in place though.

Yes only one of the two godparents have to be Catholic. Both my kids only have one godparent that is and one isn't.

I got married in the church as well and my husband is Lutheran we only had to agree the kids would be brought up Catholic.

They should really talk to the parish in which they want to get married because it seems it depends on the priest.....

 

[talulabelle]

Not a debate, we just don't know how this works?
my brother (Christian) is engaged to a Catholic girl. we don't really know much about the religion. they've talked about maybe an outdoor wedding. and she's also mentioned a catholic service. will a catholic priest do an outdoor wedding? or marry them at all since my brother is not catholic?

First I wanted to point out that Catholics are Christian as well. Not to be picky, but I get tired of people making a difference between the two. I think you meant to say "they are both Christian, but he is Protestant and she is Catholic"

You are getting alot of different info, and I would direct your question to the girls priest. I have never heard of a Catholic wedding being outside of a Catholic Church. It is a sacrament, and sacraments need to be performed in a Church. My Catholic brother married a Protestant girl, they were married by her Minister in her church, but our priest went to the wedding and gave a blessing and blessed the marriage. His marriage is recognized by the Catholic Church and they did all the requirements for the Catholic Church like pre-cana (wedding preparation classes) but they just did not have a Catholic ceremony or wedding. But they did this because the family holding the wedding was Protestant and the Catholic Church cooperated. If the girl is Catholic, and is holding the ceremony, I don't think the Church would bend and give a wedding outside the Church. She would have to be married by a minister or something.

My mother is Catholic, and my father is Protestant (Luthern) and they were married in our Catholic Church with a full Wedding Mass with Communion. The Protestants (including my Dad) just didn't go up to Communion. Catholics truly beleive that the Eucarist is in essence the Body of Christ. Therefore, we ask that only people who believe this and are educated about it, and accept the fact would take Communion. That said, I have NEVER seen someone denied communion that went up to take it. You can tell when someone who has not had their first Communion sacrement takes communion, because they don't hold their hands correctly or repond "Amen" when the eucaristic minister says "The Body of Christ" (we make our hands like a throne to receive a King) etc. Priests (unless they are REALLY OLDSCHOOL) usually still give them Communion, but don't like it. So anyway, long story short, they can definately have a full Mass, just only Catholics would be invited up for Communion. They could also just have a shorter Catholic service with no Communion, but this still would need to be in the Church because it is still a sacrament. I don't think however that they could get married by a priest outdoors. They would have to get married Protestant to do that. Usually Catholics who want something outdoors, have their wedding in the Church, then have an outdoor reception.

 

[pooh4evr]

No a catholic ceremony can't be outside it has to be in a church- and if they want a catholic ceremony they have to go throught classes/counseling with the priest that is going to marry them.

 

[Dancemom03]

Also here in Indiana (Layafette disocease) and we only had to have 1 Catholic godparent.

Maryland here chiming in... two kids baptised with one Godparent Catholic - in 1978 & 2000. When DD20 was baptised though in 1989, she had three Godparents b/c both Godparents had to be Catholic but you could ask a third non-Catholic to stand and be a Godparent with them.

I'd really wanted my best friend to be the Godmother. She'd helped me thru several miscarriages and a very high risk pregnancy. I was closer to her than anyone on earth besides DH. My parents told me that family would be a better choice b/c they would always be there in years to come. I thought that was outrageous and remember being insulted. Sadly though, she was right. By the time DD20 was in 10th grade and ready for confirmation when she needed a Godparent to do it with her, we didn't see each other nearly as often and my friend wasn't able to take the time away to be here with her like the other kids' Godparents were.

We're still good friends and, honestly, even a Catholic family member could move out of state, die, or not take the time to honor their committment in years to come. Now that I'm older & wiser though, I realize that's more likely with non-family members and non-Catholics. Gosh I hate it when mom is right...