Question for Catholics:Baptism?

[Chicago526]

Hi!

I'm a lapsed Catholic, my DFi is lapsed Methodist. We are getting married next month in an outdoor ceremony by a non-denominational minister. Neither of us go to church of any kind (yeah, I know, we're going to burn burn burn!). DFi wants any kids we have to be baptized. He doesn't care what religion, though, as long as it gets done. It doesn't matter to me, so I'm happy to oblige him.

My thought was to baptize the (future) kids as Catholics, since that's what I'm familiar with (I've attended Methodist services with DFi's mom and didn't care for them). But, since we aren't getting married by the Catholic church, will they allow it? And when the time comes, how do we go about arranging it?

Any info would be appreciated!!!

 

[Briarmom]

Both dh and I are lapsed Catholic and didn't get married in a church. We had both of our kids baptized Catholic. I would call the church of your choice, and find out what their policies are. If they won't do it, then call the next church of your choice...

 

[ducklite]

You will need to be a practicing Catholic to have your children baptised Catholic. This means registering at a parish and attending mass. There are also classes you and your DH will need to take. Additionally, at least one of the Godparents will have to be a practicing Catholic, and will need a letter from their parish priest stating that they are. The other Godparent can be a baptised Christian of any denomination.

Some priests resist baptising children who's parents are not married in the eyes of the church.

Anne

 

[MandM-Mom]

It all depends on how old school the priest is I think.....I am not catholic but DH is Catholic, gone through all the stuff, sunday school, confirmation, etc. we were married in the catholic church and children were baptized catholic, good friends of ours who don't live around us and go to another church one is catholic one is not, got married at presbatarian (SPELLING BAD) church then tried to get children baptized catholic for grandmothers sake, were told no, there marriage was not recognized by that priest.... it all depends on! But thats just one families experiences. When we got our children baptized we just called and spoke w/priest set a date and went in and spoke to him about why we wanted to do it.

 

[pattyT]

DH and I didn't want a big vatholic wedding so we got married by a JP on a gazebo (much to the memere's dismay of course ) and all our kids are baptized catholic - no prob.

 

[mickeyboat]

I think it really depends on the church and the priest. Our church asked for a copy of our marriage certificate, to make sure we were married in the Church before they baptised our DD's. They were also very insistent on having a letter from the godparents' church stating they were members in good standing.

Denae

 

[chrissyk]

If you baptize your children Catholic, aren't you therefore making the committment to raise them in the Catholic faith I always thought that that was the case.

I was baptized and raised Catholic (although I stopped practicing the day that I turned 18). My father is Catholic, but my mother is not. The Catholic church married them and baptized their children no problem. I don't think that they were active churchgoers when I was baptized, but I'm not really sure. My godmother is not Catholic. I am not sure if my Godfather was Catholic or not. NEITHER of my sister's Godparents are Catholic I seriously think that it depends on the priest. Sis and I were baptized by a priest who is a very close family friend.

Also, I am a Godmother, and nobody wanted any sort of letter from any church saying that I was a "Catholic in good standing" or whatever before my Godson's baptism.

 

[Minnie824]

You'll need to belong to a church and have one godparent submit a letter, stating their practicing (really just belong to a church). DH & I are of different religions, me being Catholic. We got married Catholic, and wanted to have a joint ceremony of both religions for the baptism, because we too, just wanted them baptized. We belong to the church, although don't really go. Both godmothers are Catholic, godfathers aren't and thats fine. We plan to raise the kids knowing of both religions, but they are not going to CCD, etc. Good luck! I live in the western suburbs of Chicago too, so send me a PM if you have any other questions.

 

[snoopy]

You will need to be a practicing Catholic to have your children baptised Catholic. This means registering at a parish and attending mass. There are also classes you and your DH will need to take. Additionally, at least one of the Godparents will have to be a practicing Catholic, and will need a letter from their parish priest stating that they are. The other Godparent can be a baptised Christian of any denomination.

Some priests resist baptising children who's parents are not married in the eyes of the church.

Anne

My parish requires none of this. Anyone who wishes to do so can baptize their child Catholic as long as at least one of the godparents was baptized Catholic.

 

[tekmom]

My husband is a non practicing Catholic and I am a recovering Baptist. Both our kids were Baptised in the Catholic church.

 

[dadtoagirl]

I don't necessarily believe child baptism is necessary, but if neither of you is practicing your religious beliefs then why would you bother to have your kids baptized. Not sure what the point is if you gonna baptize them and then choose not to expose them to actively practiced religion. I'm not saying this condescendingly, I just kinda confused.

Its like buying you kid a baseball glove and then not taking them to baseball practice.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

Just a thought about when your kids are growing up....I am a methodist and DH is a lapsed catholic who goes to church with the rest of us, but won't officially become a member due to some dormant catholic guilt or something. My kids were all baptized methodist. It is confirmation time for my oldest, and she goes to confirmation class once a week during Sunday school time. I remember going during 8th grade. The catholic neighbors, however, have to find time for CCD once a week from 1st to 8th grade! With all of the other activities kids do nowadays, it's a real commitment--one neighbor had to do "homeschool" CCD last year because her DD had dance on CCD night.
This doesn't matter now, I know, but sometimes when kids are born it makes families reevaluate values, etc., and some families start going to church more.
I also don't see your point in baptizing if you aren't going to raise the children in a religious setting. I know some families do not do infant baptism, and then when the kids are older they can decide to be baptized when they get serious about faith. That was one of the questions on our confirmation questionairre. Kids getting confirmed who are not baptized will get baptized first.
Robin M.

 

[magicfan]

What does Baptism mean to you?

Why is it important for your children to be baptised?

To Baptise your children Catholic means you plan to have them raised in the Catholic faith. That is also the role of the Godparents. It is their job to help your children in their Catholic journey.

At our church you have to be a practicing Catholic. One of the Godparents has to be, as well. A letter from their parish is needed as proof. You have to attend weekly classes for months (they want the Godparents or Sponsors there, too).

It sounds like the rules are not the same for all Catholic churches. But, I'm sure the intention behind the baptism is the same---you want to bring your children up in that particular faith. I don't understand why you would do it, otherwise? Maybe other religions just do it to do it?

 

[goofyforlife]

The catholic neighbors, however, have to find time for CCD once a week from 1st to 8th grade! With all of the other activities kids do nowadays, it's a real commitment--

my DD started religious ed (formerly CCD) classes when she started 3 rd grade in public school. (our catholic schools just didn't have the enrichment/gifted classes and such that the public school offered)

However, I really don't see her classes as a big committment. I even taught one year. It is one of the safer (morally/mentally) activities that she is in.

Our current parish has three different ways to participate in religious ed. 1 is home study, 2 is small family groups within your neighborhood (you decide when to meet), 3 is a church wide dinner/class time roughly once every two weeks.....

 

[Chicago526]

Well, if it were up to me, I most likely wouldn't bother. The minister we are using for our wedding does "baby blessings" (thanking God for a safe delivery and all of that, I guess) and I was going to just do that. But DFi, even though he doesn't go to church, 100% believes that if you aren't baptized, that you don't go to heaven when you die. He also believes that all you need to do to get to heaven (other than being baptized) is to belive that Jesus is your personal Lord and Saviour, which DFi does so he's all set (he thinks!).

Now, I beleive you just need to be a good person. I also believe in the Catholic belief that you must ALSO do good works to go to heaven, faith alone will not save you (I think this is the one thing the Catholics nailed on the head when it comes to religion!), so right now I donate to several charities, and once my schedule settles down, I plan on doing voluteer work as well.

Anyway, if I'm able to get the kids baptized Catholic, I would (once they are old enough) take the to Mass most Sundays, and enroll them in CCD when the time comes. I won't make them take Confirmation classes if, at that point, they decide that religion isn't for them (my mom made me do it even though I told her flat out I wouldn't go to Mass anymore). I feel that I should at least expose them to it, so they can make up their own minds one way or the other.

 

[GoodFairies]

Well, if it were up to me, I most likely wouldn't bother. The minister we are using for our wedding does "baby blessings" (thanking God for a safe delivery and all of that, I guess) and I was going to just do that. But DFi, even though he doesn't go to church, 100% believes that if you aren't baptized, that you don't go to heaven when you die. He also believes that all you need to do to get to heaven (other than being baptized) is to belive that Jesus is your personal Lord and Saviour, which DFi does so he's all set (he thinks!).

Now, I beleive you just need to be a good person. I also believe in the Catholic belief that you must ALSO do good works to go to heaven, faith alone will not save you (I think this is the one thing the Catholics nailed on the head when it comes to religion!), so right now I donate to several charities, and once my schedule settles down, I plan on doing voluteer work as well.

Anyway, if I'm able to get the kids baptized Catholic, I would (once they are old enough) take the to Mass most Sundays, and enroll them in CCD when the time comes. I won't make them take Confirmation classes if, at that point, they decide that religion isn't for them (my mom made me do it even though I told her flat out I wouldn't go to Mass anymore). I feel that I should at least expose them to it, so they can make up their own minds one way or the other.

Why do YOU have to be the one to do it? Sorry, if he is the one who requires them to be baptized Catholic, then he is the one who should deal with the baptism, confirmations, CCD, and mass. He doesn't go to church now; I bet he doesn't want to go to church when the time comes, either.

What is the deal with part-timers anyway? I'm not religious, but respect people who do it, but to think that just because you were baptized and accept Jesus as your lord and savior, yet do nothing else, is pretty darn snotty to me. It's kind of a snub to both the non-religious and the religious.

 

[Disney Doll]

I am sure you could probably get a Catholic Church to baptize your child, but why would you want to baptize a child in a religion that neither you nor your DH practice???

I guess I don't understand what the importance of baptism is to folks who don't believe in religion.

 

[lemondog]

You will need to be a practicing Catholic to have your children baptised Catholic. This means registering at a parish and attending mass. There are also classes you and your DH will need to take. Additionally, at least one of the Godparents will have to be a practicing Catholic, and will need a letter from their parish priest stating that they are. The other Godparent can be a baptised Christian of any denomination.

Some priests resist baptising children who's parents are not married in the eyes of the church.

Anne

This really depends so much on the parish and the priest. I do know priests who will baptize children of parents not married in the church. Plenty will, in fact. Just ask around until you find a parish you like if this is important to you. I do think, however, you will need to register as a member.

 

[liamandcaili]

Like other people have said, it really depends on the church. If one of you is a confirmed Catholic, you should be able to have your child baptized. The church DD was baptized in did require that one Godparent be a confirmed Catholic, but we were not required to register as parishioners, and I don't think we needed to provide any documentation...at least not that I can remember. I think they just took our word for it that our DD's Godmother was Catholic. The church we had DS baptized in required Baptismal Certificates from the Godparents. If you really want to do it, shop around and I'm sure you'll find a church that will accomodate your needs. BTW...it was an urban church that was more lenient with us, while the suburban church was more picky.

Good luck!

 

[mickeyfan2]

The other Godparent can be a baptised Christian of any denomination.

In our diocese the other Godparent can be of any religion. It only one of the parents is Christian, then they require both Godparents to be Catholic. The rules must differ by diocese. So check with yours.

I only needed a letter when I was a confirmation sponsor. When my niece was baptized, it was in my family church and the church that I was married in, so they may have accepted that as proof.