Question for Adults going into Cove after swimming...

[TAK]

C6PT7, as I said above, YMMV and we will have to agree to disagree about this. I respect the point you're making, and since neither of us was there, you could easily be right about what actually happened. IF you are, your points are well made -- we'll just never know.

But I'm choosing to take the story at face value. Our poster said that she was spoken to in an impolite tone, about a policy that either she was unaware of or doesn't exist (still unclear on that). Of course you are right and she might have been mistaken. She also might have made it up, she might be a Martian, she might be Santa Claus, she might be anything. The possibilities are endless. But barring any other information to the contrary, if she was spoken to rudely by a CM, then she is completely correct to have gone to Guest Services with her concerns, explaining the situation, asking questions about what the policy was, and expressing that the CM could have conveyed the policy more politely. While I appreciate all the CMs do, I'm also not going to walk on eggshells around poor service. Every day people are rude or use a tone of voice that is impolite. I don't accept a societal environment, to borrow your words, where rude behavior is considered okay. Especially when so many of the CMs go out of their way to be so kind and considerate, one who isn't doesn't deserve the same accolades as the others.

 

[tinkerone]

C6PT7, as I said above, YMMV and we will have to agree to disagree about this. I respect the point you're making, and since neither of us was there, you could easily be right about what actually happened. IF you are, your points are well made -- we'll just never know.

But I'm choosing to take the story at face value. Our poster said that she was spoken to in an impolite tone, about a policy that either she was unaware of or doesn't exist (still unclear on that). Of course you are right and she might have been mistaken. She also might have made it up, she might be a Martian, she might be Santa Claus, she might be anything. The possibilities are endless. But barring any other information to the contrary, if she was spoken to rudely by a CM, then she is completely correct to have gone to Guest Services with her concerns, explaining the situation, asking questions about what the policy was, and expressing that the CM could have conveyed the policy more politely. While I appreciate all the CMs do, I'm also not going to walk on eggshells around poor service. Every day people are rude or use a tone of voice that is impolite. I don't accept a societal environment, to borrow your words, where rude behavior is considered okay. Especially when so many of the CMs go out of their way to be so kind and considerate, one who isn't doesn't deserve the same accolades as the others.

i completely agree with this and i would doubt you would get an argument from anyone however would you wait till the end of your cruise to bring it to the attention of guest services? i wouldn't. i would go right away. if, IF, i was that upset about it and the cm made me cry i would go to guest services if only to show them how upset i was in the moment. its kind of like a child, theres no point in punishing the person after the fact. i also don't see a ship wide meeting happening with a response back that quick. don't get me wrong, i'm not calling the op a liar, i just think she may have gotten the canned response that dcl loves to give out…..your right, were wrong, so sorry.
jmo and certainly not saying I'm correct.

also op, to your question and answer 'You have never felt less than stellar about yourself, and then have someone else cut into what little self confidence you had left, and be OK with it? I don't believe it.', i can honestly tell you that no, i have never felt bad about myself and i have never nor never would allow someone else to make me feel that. you can't allow that kind of power to be held over you. you are beautiful and you are the person you are. live for that person and hold your head up high! i am 30 plus pounds over my average body weight and i don't care if others like it. dh loves me, my children love me, the people closest to me love me. i love me. is there anyone else who matters? you, my dear, are perfect.

 

[C6PT7]

C6PT7, as I said above, YMMV and we will have to agree to disagree about this. I respect the point you're making, and since neither of us was there, you could easily be right about what actually happened. IF you are, your points are well made -- we'll just never know.

But I'm choosing to take the story at face value. Our poster said that she was spoken to in an impolite tone, about a policy that either she was unaware of or doesn't exist (still unclear on that). Of course you are right and she might have been mistaken. She also might have made it up, she might be a Martian, she might be Santa Claus, she might be anything. The possibilities are endless. But barring any other information to the contrary, if she was spoken to rudely by a CM, then she is completely correct to have gone to Guest Services with her concerns, explaining the situation, asking questions about what the policy was, and expressing that the CM could have conveyed the policy more politely. While I appreciate all the CMs do, I'm also not going to walk on eggshells around poor service. Every day people are rude or use a tone of voice that is impolite. I don't accept a societal environment, to borrow your words, where rude behavior is considered okay. Especially when so many of the CMs go out of their way to be so kind and considerate, one who isn't doesn't deserve the same accolades as the others.

I agree to disagree.
I won't say anymore than that after my previous post was deleted for using the attack word, and that being turned against me.

 

[Jennifer777]

OP, I'm sorry this caused you so much distress. I don't think the CM responded in the way he did because of the way you look. I think it was a blunt reaction to the fact you were in a bathing suit and he believed Cove Cafe had a no bathing suit policy like the other dining establishments on the ship. I'm a little surprised they don't to be honest, I've always assumed that unless you're on the pool deck or at one of the pools you're supposed to cover up. Heck, my daughter got some disapproving looks riding the elevator up to the pool in nothing but her bathing suit and she was only 6, that was the last time that happened. I also agree with a previous poster about the nationality of the CM possibly playing a part. In America, we're pretty relaxed when it comes to dress codes, but there are some countries where it's considered disrespectful to wear open toe shoes at a dining establishment nevertheless a bathing suit.

Regardless of whether or not theres a sign or an official policy, my advice to you would be to invest in a cute cover up you can toss on when you leave the pool area. Not because it's required or because you aren't beautiful, even with an extra 30lbs I'm sure you are, but because you're on a very elegant ship with thousands of other people with varying cultures and customs and this is the easiest way to avoid unfortunate experience like this again. Even if the Cove Cafe doesn't have a sign/policy next time you cruise, there's a good chance someone will be offended or at least irritated if you show up in there wearing nothing but a bathing suit. So rather than worrying about a sign, eliminate the possibility of an incident like this again by wearing a cover up or using one of the pool bars. You cannot change the reaction of others but you can take away their reason for reacting. Enjoy your cruise! That martini sounds amazing!

 

[TAK]

I agree to disagree.
I won't say anymore than that after my previous post was deleted for using the attack word, and that being turned against me.

I didn't see anything previous or know what word you mean. Sorry anything of yours got deleted! I thought you made a lot of good points before.

 

[bumbershoot]

Your body issues are your own and should not have been taken out on a CM just doing his job.

This is true. But it is so so so SO hard to do when you have those issues.

My husband is 43 and has had weight issues since he was 3 (when his mom put him on his very first diet and it only got worse from there). This hasn't been helped by a pituitary tumor. He has been told, by his mother, almost his whole life that he would be handsome IF, he would be smarter IF, he would be king of the world, IF only he would lose the weight. Everything is wrapped up in weight for her, and she has caused it to be wrapped up together in his mind, too. If he doesn't get a promotion (rare), in his mind it's because he's heavy. If he can't study for an online course he's taking, no doubt it's because he's heavy. etc etc. It takes a HUGE amount of mental and emotional effort to separate them out.

I had my own issues with this (though my mom was a sane and kind human so my issues are nothing like DH's), and since 2012 I've had to separate them. It's hard work. Since the OP seems to indicate her weight gain has been more recent, it's fresh to her.

OP I'm as sure as I can be that the coverup request wasn't because of your weight, but simply because the CM thought one was supposed to be covered up. Please don't let this harm your self esteem. Your picture is lovely, and having come through the other side to see what 30 lbs extra looked like on me while going back down in weight, I bet you don't look anywhere near as different as you think you do. Hugs, OP.

 

[Ofinn]

Ive gone into the cove cafe in a cover up, my husband in bathing suit. I have gone in wrapped in towel. Its by the pool for goodness sake who cares. On our Hawaii cruise I got scolded for drinking in the hot tub. On the Galveston cruise cms were serving people in the hot tub all cruise long. Cms seem to make and enforce rules depending on their mood it seems.

 

[wilkeliza]

Ive gone into the cove cafe in a cover up, my husband in bathing suit. I have gone in wrapped in towel. Its by the pool for goodness sake who cares. On our Hawaii cruise I got scolded for drinking in the hot tub. On the Galveston cruise cms were serving people in the hot tub all cruise long. Cms seem to make and enforce rules depending on their mood it seems.

Drinks in the pool are definitly on the list of published rules as not allowed. It seems to be one of the rules that is almost never enforced.

 

[Ofinn]

I talked to the officer in charge of dining staff, and He said that the CM was completely out of line and in the wrong. Because there isn't a policy. And by your logic PrincessShmoo, you shouldn't be able to grab food from the buffet or even from like maters grill/ice cream.

Mun, Ok. So this is how it went: I had just come down from deck 13, and I wanted to try the toblerone martini, and all I had on was a Black Bikini Top, and a pair of shorts (covering my bottom and all the important things). I walked in, and while there were other people (yes casually dressed, one IN a coverup) he turned to me, not even remotely nicely and said, "Do you have something to put on?" (No hello no sorry nothing.) And I responded with, "No, I do not. It's in my room." "Well you have to leave. You can't be in here." Just like that.

Now, maybe I'm being sensitive, but I've been having weight issues as of late, and although I know I don't look bad, it still hurt that he was so course and rude.

Maybe he wanted you to cover up because you're young and attractive. These are men that have been at sea for months....just saying.

 

[tinkerone]

Ive gone into the cove cafe in a cover up, my husband in bathing suit. I have gone in wrapped in towel. Its by the pool for goodness sake who cares. On our Hawaii cruise I got scolded for drinking in the hot tub. On the Galveston cruise cms were serving people in the hot tub all cruise long. Cms seem to make and enforce rules depending on their mood it seems.

i've seen this to. i think it has a lot to do with the fact the servers make tips and don;t care where or how they make them as long as they make them. they will serve you anywhere. the times i have seen people 'talked to' have been when there has been passing cm's who are not making money serving. they seem to want to enforce the rules. it can be very amusing to watch.

 

[dclpluto]

Maybe he wanted you to cover up because you're young and attractive. These are men that have been at sea for months....just saying.

Not very nice to say something like this especially of just what happened on the magic.

 

[Ofinn]

Not very nice to say something like this especially of just what happened on the magic.

It was actually a compliment shes an attractive women who seems to feel she was asked to cover up because of her weight. It was meant toungue in cheek. Has nothing to do with what happenned on the Magic. I have no idea what happenned on the Magic. Lighten up geez.

 

[dclpluto]

It was actually a compliment shes an attractive women who seems to feel she was asked to cover up because of her weight. It was meant toungue in cheek. Has nothing to do with what happenned on the Magic. I have no idea what happenned on the Magic. Lighten up geez.

Sorry. Glad you knew nothing of what just happened on the magic when you wrote there are men that have been out to seas for months. What just happened on the magic a 11 year old was molested by a crew member. My apologies

 

[Ofinn]

Sorry. Glad you knew nothing of what just happened on the magic when you wrote there are men that have been out to seas for months. What just happened on the magic a 11 year old was molested by a crew member. My apologies

I wrote it before the article on the Magic. I have no idea why the cm asked her to cover up. Shes definetely not overweight or unattractive nor are there dress code rules for the cove. I was trying to make her feel better about about herself in a weird way. Probably not the best choice of words in light of what happened.

 

[tinkerone]

Sorry. Glad you knew nothing of what just happened on the magic when you wrote there are men that have been out to seas for months. What just happened on the magic a 11 year old was molested by a crew member. My apologies

what? when did this happen? you say 'just happened', are you talking recent? i must have missed something.

 

[dclpluto]

what? when did this happen? you say 'just happened', are you talking recent? i must have missed something.

Yes recent the cruise began on December 18. He was booked on dec 23 at 1832

 

[tinkerone]

Yes recent the cruise began on December 18. He was booked on dec 23 at 1832

oh lord! that is terrible. thanks for letting me know, i was unaware. poor child.

 

[JW9DVC]

Next time. Just grab a towel and use as your cover up. Be well.

 

[texas disney mom]

I would feel very, very awkward walking into cove cafe in a swimsuit. But I wouldn't even walk up to cookies bbq in just a swimsuit. I would put some kind of coverup on. Not to say that cove cafe is as casual as cookies. Cove cafe has a dressier feel, much nicer than Starbucks. Starbucks is always a bit ratty. It is also very obvious that there is an outdoor section of cove cafe which is more pool like where you can order. The officer was probably caught off guard and shocked to see someone in there in a bikini because it is out of place. Sign or not it is important to pay attention to social cues. I know that sounds blunt but I have learned to appreciate things being simply stated. It is not personal to say a bikini is out of place in a certain restaurant, it is just a fact.

 

[C6PT7]

I didn't see anything previous or know what word you mean. Sorry anything of yours got deleted! I thought you made a lot of good points before.

No worries and no big deal! Please don't feel sorry though! I'm not upset at all or offended in any way, shape or form! Just curious as to why someone did feel offended enough to report it!