Question for Adults going into Cove after swimming...

[C6PT7]

If the OP says the tone/way it was said was *not* kind or gentle, who are we to say otherwise? We weren't there.

Exactly. We have only one side of the story. And I'm sure if the staff member were asked what happened, the tone they spoke to the lady in, the two descriptions would not be the same either.
Wouldn't it be remise to give one person the benefit of the doubt without giving it to the other person as well?

 

[MUN]

So maybe a 20 year old with a nice body will be allowed in wearing a bikini. Yes the guy was in the wrong and needed to be reported.

Are you saying OP doesn't have a nice body?

 

[C6PT7]

So... I had an issue this past November with a member of staff in the Cove Café, and to make a slightly painful story short, I'm just curious as to anyone having been recently on the Dream, noticed any new signage or had any issues going into the Café? Like say, if you were only wearing a bathing suit top and shorts?

If anyone would like the back story to why I ask, I'll offer it, but like I said.... It's a little on the painful side for me... and The only time I've ever experienced UnDisneyLike behavior.

Thanks guys!

And all that had to be asked was

I had an issue this past November with a member of staff in the Cove Café regarding dress code. I'm just curious as to anyone having been recently on the Dream, noticed any new signage or had any issues going into the Café? Like say, if you were only wearing a bathing suit top and shorts?

Thanks guys!

Sorry @TheHippie524 , you offered the reason why you had an issue on a platter just waiting for people to ask so you could spill the beans and tell your version of what happened and why you were upset by it. With a sub context of asking if there was any new signage.
You could have just asked if anyone knew of a dress code, knew if there was any new signage, but you did word your post in such a way as to attract attention as to why, and what issue you had.
Even mentioning that you cried was irrelevant to you learning if any signage had been added.
Saying people are callous in their responses to you shows how sensitive you are to other people voicing their opinion, and unfortunately only bolsters the defense of the staff member.

 

[TXDCLfan]

I talked to the officer in charge of dining staff, and He said that the CM was completely out of line and in the wrong. Because there isn't a policy. And by your logic PrincessShmoo, you shouldn't be able to grab food from the buffet or even from like maters grill/ice cream.

Mun, Ok. So this is how it went: I had just come down from deck 13, and I wanted to try the toblerone martini, and all I had on was a Black Bikini Top, and a pair of shorts (covering my bottom and all the important things). I walked in, and while there were other people (yes casually dressed, one IN a coverup) he turned to me, not even remotely nicely and said, "Do you have something to put on?" (No hello no sorry nothing.) And I responded with, "No, I do not. It's in my room." "Well you have to leave. You can't be in here." Just like that.

Now, maybe I'm being sensitive, but I've been having weight issues as of late, and although I know I don't look bad, it still hurt that he was so course and rude.

From what you posted here and your other replies I would have to say that you are being overly sensitive and have read way to much in the way he replied to you( more than likely English was not his native language and you intermediate this as rude)

 

[TAK]

Exactly. We have only one side of the story. And I'm sure if the staff member were asked what happened, the tone they spoke to the lady in, the two descriptions would not be the same either.
Wouldn't it be remise to give one person the benefit of the doubt without giving it to the other person as well?

Is that CM here? If they were, and disputing the event took place as described, I would of course give their account as much credence. But they're not. We have one person who was. The rest of us are just speculating.

Shrug. YMMV. I see a fellow poster telling us about an incident that upset and hurt them. And then I see people telling that poster they were wrong to be upset, wrong to cry, wrong to feel what they felt, wrong in their description of what happened, and possibly lying about the whole thing. Which, hey, it's the DIS Boards, feel free. But I'm feeling free to say that none of that is the general reaction I have when someone says they felt bad about something. Maybe I'm just all full of Christmas spirit these days, but what's the harm in saying, "No, didn't see any signs. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt"?

 

[dclpluto]

Are you saying OP doesn't have a nice body?

Haven't looked at her picture. Everyone needs to be treated equal if a 18 year old goes into cove cafe wearing a bikini and a 100 year old goes into cove cafe wearing a bikini they need to be treated equal. If they make the 100 year old leave for having a bikini on they also need to make the 18 year old leave.

 

[TheHippie524]

wow, what's the matter with you people!! This is a DCL cruise where just about anything goes - including jeans in the MDR's.

And the Cove Cafe is RIGHT NEXT to the pool. It does make sense that people would go in there in their swim suits. I've seen many people on the Wonder in the Cove Cafe (lower level by the pool) in their swim suits.

Maybe the CM thought that the OP was walking around without a blouse on and just wearing her bra ... OP said ...


and to TheHippie524: If that's your picture with Peter Pan, then you should not have any body image issues (yea I know that I can't say that to any female).

Is that CM here? If they were, and disputing the event took place as described, I would of course give their account as much credence. But they're not. We have one person who was. The rest of us are just speculating.

Shrug. YMMV. I see a fellow poster telling us about an incident that upset and hurt them. And then I see people telling that poster they were wrong to be upset, wrong to cry, wrong to feel what they felt, wrong in their description of what happened, and possibly lying about the whole thing. Which, hey, it's the DIS Boards, feel free. But I'm feeling free to say that none of that is the general reaction I have when someone says they felt bad about something. Maybe I'm just all full of Christmas spirit these days, but what's the harm in saying, "No, didn't see any signs. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt"?

Haven't looked at her picture. Everyone needs to be treated equal if a 18 year old goes into cove cafe wearing a bikini and a 100 year old goes into cove cafe wearing a bikini they need to be treated equal. If they make the 100 year old leave for having a bikini on they also need to make the 18 year old leave.

I weigh a good 30ish lbs more, which is a lot. (So don't go off my profile picture because I WISH I still looked that thin LOL). Which is why I wasn't feeling the greatest. I put in that I would tell if asked, because people were going to ask regardless. And then I would get, "Well, OP didn't put the story in the thread in the first place because they're just fishing for people to ask."

Honestly, I came to ask a question. Nobody has the courtesy to answer, only to judge. I see people here complain ALL OF THE TIME on things much more trivial than this.... And I've not seen them get the rudeness I do from you people (sans the few that have in fact been understanding.)


So let me get this straight: You have never felt less than stellar about yourself, and then have someone else cut into what little self confidence you had left, and be OK with it? I don't believe it.


AGAIN. All I wanted to know if there was signage. And the fact is "used to" say in the personal navigators... NO ONE listened to that regardless.

 

[TheHippie524]

And for the ones asking about why I didn't go up to any other bar.... Because #1 I couldn't remember the name of the drink (Toblerone martini) and #2 it was easier for me to just run in quick to the ONE place I knew I saw it on the menu, and grab it, instead attempt to explain the one martini that's named after a candy I think... Because I actually never knew what a Toblerone was until earlier this year and I'm 26 lol.

 

[dclpluto]

I weigh a good 30ish lbs more, which is a lot. (So don't go off my profile picture because I WISH I still looked that thin LOL). Which is why I wasn't feeling the greatest. I put in that I would tell if asked, because people were going to ask regardless. And then I would get, "Well, OP didn't put the story in the thread in the first place because they're just fishing for people to ask."

Honestly, I came to ask a question. Nobody has the courtesy to answer, only to judge. I see people here complain ALL OF THE TIME on things much more trivial than this.... And I've not seen them get the rudeness I do from you people (sans the few that have in fact been understanding.)


So let me get this straight: You have never felt less than stellar about yourself, and then have someone else cut into what little self confidence you had left, and be OK with it? I don't believe it.


AGAIN. All I wanted to know if there was signage. And the fact is "used to" say in the personal navigators... NO ONE listened to that regardless.

I just looked at your picture and I'm sure you still look great with a added 30 plus pounds to that.

 

[gumbypee]

And all that had to be asked was



Sorry @TheHippie524 , you offered the reason why you had an issue on a platter just waiting for people to ask so you could spill the beans and tell your version of what happened and why you were upset by it. With a sub context of asking if there was any new signage.
You could have just asked if anyone knew of a dress code, knew if there was any new signage, but you did word your post in such a way as to attract attention as to why, and what issue you had.
Even mentioning that you cried was irrelevant to you learning if any signage had been added.
Saying people are callous in their responses to you shows how sensitive you are to other people voicing their opinion, and unfortunately only bolsters the defense of the staff member.

This!!

If now you are harping about just asking about signage and so many people are "not understanding" (i.e. having a different opinion than you which is perfectly fine) then why didn't you post something like the quote above stated. No need to make it all personal and dramatic. Again,YOUR responses have made it seem that you are overly sensitive and just trying to get people to agree that he was so rude to you when none of us were there.

edit: the quote of quote didn't come through. This is what i was referring to:

I had an issue this past November with a member of staff in the Cove Café regarding dress code. I'm just curious as to anyone having been recently on the Dream, noticed any new signage or had any issues going into the Café? Like say, if you were only wearing a bathing suit top and shorts?
Thanks guys!

 

[Partyof4LA]

So let me get this straight: You have never felt less than stellar about yourself, and then have someone else cut into what little self confidence you had left, and be OK with it? I don't believe it.

I am sorry if what he said made you feel less than stellar about yourself. Some people come across rude because of the way they speak when they really aren't meaning to be. I wasn't there so I don't know what was said, but I doubt the CM intended it that way and likely would've responded in the same manner to anyone else who walked in dressed the same.
Several years ago, I was a few months postpartum with baby #2, so things were flabby and I was still quite a bit heavier than my norm. We were about to get into a hotel pool and my oldest needed the restroom. We went inside without coverups and an employee asked us both to go back outside and cover up first. There were no signs stating this, but I understood their reasoning and respected it. I was irritated that I had to turn around when she had to go so badly, but was not offended, nor was my skinny 4 year old. I should've covered up, that was my mistake. My already low self confidence wasn't affected bc being asked to cover up in these places isn't about someone shaming or judging your body, they just don't want half dressed people of any age, shape, or size in public spaces.

 

[Expatriat]

Aside from any dress code or signage (My experience is that the Cove Café is NOT a pool bar but simply happens to be adjacent) and regarding only the "hurt feelings": What baffles me is why anyone who was feeling "less than stellar" about one's body would go around in a bikini with no cover-up, other than in/at the pool. Although it isn't nice to judge people based on appearance, we all know it happens.

 

[CastawayCayLover]

I guess the one bright spot of this not so nice incident is apparently the CM's are being diligent about who is allowed to be in the Cove Cafe so we don't need another thread like the one below.

http://www.disboards.com/threads/cove-cafe-is-supposed-to-be-adults-only.3306677/

 

[Bree]

Well....Cove Cafe is an adult coffee place in the adult area that just happens to have a door that opens to the pool. Not every adult entering the pool area is in swimwear. I found this post to be very much like "Vaguebooking" - you know where someone posts something dramatic (i.e. My life is over as I know it!) with no details just begging for people to ask what is wrong. I also think it was kind of crummy to complain to an officer. Your body issues are your own and should not have been taken out on a CM just doing his job. Imagine if he was serving you and an officer walked in? Anyway, now you know the rules for next time.

 

[phinz]

The buffet, as far as I know, also doesn't allow dining in swimwear (unless covered), just like the dining rooms.

I thought the same thing until I witnessed the late-middle-aged man with his own homegrown dermal sweater who wandered around Cabanas two weeks ago in all his unshirted glory for at least thirty minutes, if not more, getting food, sitting down and eating with his family and then getting more food. Cast members didn't say a word to him.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I thought the same thing until I witnessed the late-middle-aged man with his own homegrown dermal sweater who wandered around Cabanas two weeks ago in all his unshirted glory for at least thirty minutes, if not more, getting food, sitting down and eating with his family and then getting more food. Cast members didn't say a word to him.

Of course not. That's the Disney way. Now, if another guest complained, I would hope something would have been done about it.

 

[phinz]

Of course not. That's the Disney way. Now, if another guest complained, I would hope something would have been done about it.

So you don't have to follow the rules unless a guest complains? Gotcha.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

So you don't have to follow the rules unless a guest complains? Gotcha.

No, no.....
Just pointing out that Disney CMs won't usually take it upon themselves to "fix" a problem, unless someone has complained about it. Even if it's against policy.

 

[CastawayCayLover]

So you don't have to follow the rules unless a guest complains? Gotcha.

That sounds right, which means another guest in the Cove must have complained to the CM the OP encountered to begin with.

 

[C6PT7]

Is that CM here? If they were, and disputing the event took place as described, I would of course give their account as much credence. But they're not. We have one person who was. The rest of us are just speculating.

Shrug. YMMV. I see a fellow poster telling us about an incident that upset and hurt them. And then I see people telling that poster they were wrong to be upset, wrong to cry, wrong to feel what they felt, wrong in their description of what happened, and possibly lying about the whole thing. Which, hey, it's the DIS Boards, feel free. But I'm feeling free to say that none of that is the general reaction I have when someone says they felt bad about something. Maybe I'm just all full of Christmas spirit these days, but what's the harm in saying, "No, didn't see any signs. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt"?

No, the staff member isn't here, so we will never know both sides of the story. But there will be two sides regardless.
But the OP has said they may have over reacted due to their own self image concerns. I don't think anyone has said the OP was not right to cry, just that they wouldn't have felt so offended and hurt by what was said.
Also I haven't read of anyone saying the OP was wrong in their description of what happened or lying. I have read that maybe they mis interpreted the tone of the staff member, and maybe they have taken what was said, possibly quite bluntly, in a very different way than say someone who is more confident in their body or doesn't have the OP's associated negative body image issues.
The point is the OP has made this about a staff member singling her out because of her self body challenges, and not about a staff member who may have said the exact same thing to the lady seen in the cover up who may have entered without one, and then have gone a gotten one. It was made into a personal attack by the staff member, and many others can see both side of the story, and have a different opinion on what their reaction or attitude would be if that happened to them. The OP was freely volunteering the story in the first post, despite the disclaimer of it being a slightly painful story, and people have commented on that.
The harm in saying "I'm sorry your feelings were hurt" is when people disagree with that persons interpreted overreaction to something that causes an employee who would not know about the OP's self image problems being disciplined or called in the office about it.
Empathizing with the OP is great, but it also reinforces what some posters, myself included, believe to be an encounter that is not a reasonable thing to get so upset that they would cry over and report a staff member over.
If TheHippy could rationalize what happened and take out anything personal that she deemed was just against her out of the situation, I'm sure a lot of the upset, hurt and tears wouldn't have happened, and it would have been put down to maybe the staff member was just having a rough day, or had told 10 people in the last hour to do the same. Also that it probably was an overreaction to the situation that she might have been annoyed or feel put out by having to go back and get a cover up.
@Partyof4LA was able to do this when they encountered a similar situation, and accepted that they were inappropriately dressed to enter that area. Ships and society cannot operate walking on eggshells just incase one person in 100 is hypersensitive about one thing about them. Otherwise we have the situation where anything goes because nobody and especially staff members are too afraid to speak up for fear of complains or disciplinary action being taken against them, or gratuity removal. We are sleepwalking into that kind of societal environment and it isn't healthy. Every day people will say things you do not like, maybe in a tone you don't care for, but you cannot take it personally and get so upset that it causes you to breakdown in tears over it when it happens, unless you are willing to accept that you have an unreasonably low tolerance and get upset very easily, and not blame or report staff.