Posting here because this is the 'general' board that seems to get the most traffic... mods, please feel free to move it to a better spot if it's not okay here.
Our son is two years old in October, and his pediatrician has referred him to speech therapy because he doesn't have many words. He talks constantly (just not in English) with tone, emotion, and inflection. He's obviously listening, because he can point to all manner of shapes, colors, objects, parts of the face (though always on others, not himself, save for 'hair' for some reason) and even some letters when we ask him to. He meets or exceeds all the other CDC milestones and has always been very advanced for his age with most motor skills. He's been running full on and walking backwards since about 16 months. We have a list of about 13 things we have heard him say (but many are only once or twice so hard to gauge if it was really a word or a coincidence). He frequently says 'whee' and 'yeah!' and 'mom', but mom is usually 'mom mom mom mom mom' babbling when he's overtired. He doesn't really wave hello or goodbye (he's done it once or twice) and doesn't say either word. He does copy other things we do - he knows to put hats on heads, comb hair, give hugs (sometimes), make faces. He also knows what to do with a fork/spoon but steadfastly refuses to use them. He plays peek a boo. Everyone I talk to says 'oh that's just boys for you' and/or 'the pandemic/quarantine has slowed down verbal development for a lot of kids.' Anecdotally, that seems to be true - we've met so many parents of boys (especially) who are saying their kids aren't really talking as expected. And I know the CDC recently relaxed their guidelines on words. Now that he is at least partially vaccinated, we've been more active in taking him out to playspaces. He also cannot at all be relied upon to stay near us and always makes a rapid beeline for the nearest exit or road. He has started to interact more with other kids, so that has been encouraging for us.
I will admit that we probably provide for/anticipate his needs too often without making him ask, but when we do, he instantly melts down and he is as willful as the day is long (comes by it honest, really) and flat refuses to say anything. I've even tried just getting him to say 'yeah!' which is a word he LOVES to say, when I ask 'would you like a snack' but he refuses to do even that. And obviously, never feeding him isn't an option. I've pushed past the tantrums and continued to press for him to request things, and he just won't.
1) We have our evaluation next week, and I'm just curious how they evaluate a child who doesn't really talk. We're not sure what to expect from the evaluation and would love to hear your experiences if you have them...
2) If any of this resonates with you and you have experiences to share (preferably hopeful ones!) that would be fantastic.
3) Is he possibly just rude?

Are we raising a mini-caveman? We do our best to model our values at home - patience, compassion, mindfulness, humor, etc.
4) Suggestions for how to decrease willfulness in a toddler? (Hahahahaha.)
Thank you!