Question about Marriage Counseling

[Twingle]

Has anyone tried Marriage Counseling without their spouse and had their marriage get better?

DH refuses to go, but with ten years and three kids invested in the relationship, I'm hesitant to just say screw it and just divorce him.

I don't often post, but just was hoping that someone might have been in a similar situation at some point.

TIA

 

[Crankyshank]

Yes it does work, if both parties agree to try. Dragging someone to go isn't going to do anything but create more strife if that person isn't willing to give counseling a shot.

 

[grinningghost]

I've never been, but I just want to wish you well and hope that things do work out, whatever you end up doing. Good luck.

 

[punkin]

I went with DH twice and then stopped going. He continued in counseling (not marriage-just for himself) for another year. It has helped our marriage a lot. We were on the verge of divorce (I had kicked him out of the house) and everyone who sees us now can't get over how lovey dovey we are.

 

[*Susan*]

If he refuses to go, go to see a counselor on your own. You'll get some clarity and perhaps help with how to proceed w/your marriage. Good luck to you.

 

[dmslush]

Yes, counseling just for you can help a ton, even if you husband doesn't want to go. It can help you clear your head and think things over and weigh your options. Life might not be as bad as you think when you have someone that you can give some of the burden to.

Keep in mind also, marriages go through cycles and some of them are worse that others. When you have been married around 10 years and have several kids, sometimes it is hard to reconnect to that person that you fell in love with. Sometimes, you become so consumed with being mom and dad that you lose husband and wife.

Good Luck!

 

[mickeyfan2]

Good luck.

 

[Twingle]

Thank you so much for your posts.

I'm going alone on Friday at 4:00.

 

[ElizK]

May I recommend a book? Dr Laura's book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands made a HUGE difference in my marriage. I was not able to put 100% of her suggestions to work, but I did start doing a lot of them. The book changed my perspective of my husband, and he appreciated the little things I started doing differently. We are both much happier for it.

Hang in there. I know how hard it is. DH and I seperated at one point, nearly divorced at another point, and are happier together now than we have been in the past 18 years of marriage.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I also have used some of the philosophy of Dr. Laura. Her book is very simple and certainly you can gain a new perspective.
Go to your local library.

As far as counseling, if you are having trouble seeking help is always the way to go.
{{{HUGS}}}

 

[Chicago526]

I've never been in this situation, but I can't see how going alone could hurt anything, and it just might help. In other words, it's worth a shot! Good luck!

 

[TigerBear]

I'm going alone on Friday at 4:00.

Good for you! This is the only thing I wish I would have done differently in my first marriage. I didn't start counseling until after we were separated.

I wish you the best.

 

[Keli]

I think you are doing the right thing. It may not help, but then again it might. I would certainly give it a try if I were you. What do you have to lose?

 

[Twingle]

Thank you again for all of your posts.

In regards to Dr. Laura, I've not read her books nor listened to her radio program. I remember the MAJOR squabbles I heard when "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" came out, but never read the book. I'll have to see if my local library has it. I read the reviews on Amazon and B&N, and I curious to see how there can be two VERY different opinions on it.