Question about dating a non-Disney fan

[Boo'sMom]

I sent you a PM Mickey.

 

[katerkat]

I would try taking her to DL and really downplaying the whole previous engagement/Disney thing. Ease her into the Disney lifestyle and emphasize how much the PARKS mean to you, rather than the whole "I got engaged there."
As for being with someone who just doesn't love Disney... You can survive that! I promise! My poor un-Disneyified husband has been to Disney ONCE! Once! He was 7! And he hasn't been back! For 15 years! And I still married him. He understands that I have a bit of an obsession, and he has promised to let me go to WDW fairly often... He won't guarantee that I'll get there at least every two years, like I'm used to, but he does want to do a trip before we have kids, just the two of us. And he said I can have free rein in decorating the nursery when we do have kids, knowing that it will be completely Disney themed. I'm hoping when we have a bit more money saved up, he'll be more like to agree to a couple long weekend trips during the year...

 

[Rajah]

Originally posted by TRAPPED-PARENT
If she is not willing to consider your feelings at this early stage in your relationship, it will only get worse.

I'm sorry, but I have to agree with this statement, hard as it is to take.

What I would do, is give her a little time, but don't even consider marriage until you've dated for a few years. If she's going to come around and get over being insecure due to your previous relationship, then it'll happen in a few years' time. If she's not going to get over it, you'll know in a few years' time or less.

I can understand where you're coming from, though. Before I got so Disneyfied and before I dated now-DH, I was "in love" with another vacation destination (Colorado) and dating another guy. This guy could notnotnotnotnot understand my need, not just desire, but NEED to go to Colorado and New Mexico to "refresh". Those places just rejuvinate me, I love them to death and would love living there, but my BF at the time could NOT understand liking a place that much. He decided that the only reason I wanted to return to New Mexico and Colorado so much was because I had to have a boyfriend there I wasn't telling him about, and no amount of discussion, pleading, or explaining could get him to understand. We eventually broke up, and a large part of it was because of my need for that area. But he also became controlling, wouldn't do anything with me that he didn't also love, and being a suggestive teen, I couldn't understand the concept of going somewhere without him. That relationship just kept getting worse and worse.

Then on to my nowDH -- when we were dating, he couldn't understand my love of Disney or Colorado either, but instead of becoming jealous and suspicious, he wanted to see for himself and experience these things for himself. Now he loves Disney almost as much as I do. Colorado he's not happy with, but he loves New Mexico now as well. And he understands my need to return to these places and has no problem with me going without him. Like Snoopy's situation, I'm in a relationship where I'm Mountains and DH is Beach, but we can compromise and be happy.

So it all comes down to how much you and she are willing to compromise. And you won't know that very well in just 4 months of dating. So give her some time, but be on your guard as well. See if she'll compromise on other things, or if she's going to try and be controlling and jealous of anything that might ever have had something to do with your previous relationship. Will she "give" on some of the things she doesn't like if you do the same? In time, if she's not even willing to compromise and let you go without her without putting up a fuss, you've got to ask yourself which is more important: this relationship, or your love of Disney? I can understand how a vacation destination isn't just important but is actually a *part* of you. You've got to find someone who will at least understand that as well, even if they don't share it.

Good luck.

 

[CarolA]

think it is time to say goodbye to her. This is not about Disney, it is about compromise and recognizing and acknowledging things that are important to you.

OHH! I have to pipe in here!

I have been dating the same man for over 12 years. He will have NOTHING to do with Disney. (I have given up!) His feelings about Disney do NOT stop me from enjoying it. For anyone to tell someone to end a realtionship based on the LITTLE Mickey has told us is awfully judgemental. My boyfriend also does not share my love of UT football. I don't ever want to go fly fishing with him!

We have decided that our respect and love for each other is enough. We don't have to spend every waking minute together and we are both very independent. Disney is NOT the be all and end all of a realationship. I don't see that this woman has said Mickey can't go to Disney, just that she won't. There is a difference.

 

[nativetxn]

Hi Mickey76, it's so good to see you here on the DIS again.

Take her to Disneyland instead.

 

[CarolA]

Oh No, I got it!

Disneyland Paris.

Paris is very romantic and you could run over to Disney. Think of the new memories!
I wanna go!

 

[BarryHom]

There is only one answer...

You have to date me.

 

[Carebear7]

Maybe I'm a little out of line here, but I'm going to say it anyway..The last time I checked, trust was one of the main ingredients in a solid relationship. I can understand being a tad apprehensive about what you experienced there before, but that is where communication comes into play. If you've explained it all to her, she should get over it, trust you and realize that life is just too short to not be able to enjoy your favorite place together. I say, dump her and take me..I'm single and LOOOVVVEEE Disney!

 

[Mickey76]

Again, everyone, thank you for all of your advice and suggestions.

Carebear7 and and anyone else who mentioned it. I agree that trust is a major issue. We have talked about all of this extensively, but now I wonder if we still have not talked about it enough. I don't want to just dump her and leave it at that. PAst experiences have told me that communication is a must and just giving up can blow up in your face. However, I'm not sure if I'm willing to wait years to go back to Disney World. Call it selfish and childish. So be it. I am who I am and I guess that I've made my decision.

I'll keep you all posted. By the way, it's great to be back. Missed you, one and all.

Mickey76

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, I cans wing either way onthis one. Part of me says "it's just a vacation spot,so go without her if she won't go". But the other part of me thinks that this young lady needs to do some growing up.

I mean, so you got engaged at WDW. So the first time you walk past whatever spot you got engaged at, maybe you will look a little wistfully and get lost in a memory. Those things made you what you are today, supposedly the person she likes.

Yes, compromise is key, but so is maturity, and if she doesn't have it, the rest doesn't work.

Besides, I have several single friends who would love to date you and also love WDW. How old are you? What other things do you like? Give me some info!!!!

 

[Mickey76]

Disney Doll, thanks for your advice. Most of the time, she is very mature, and I kind of think she is being immature about this issue, but at the same time, I think I may be, too. However, Disney World isn't just a vacation spot for me, it's more than that, which I'm sure many people here on the Dis feel the same way. And that's what bothers me; I know we'll have disagreements about certain things that we like, but Disney runs much deeper in my soul than most things and I am finding that I'm not sure if I can compromise on this issue. I know I'm stubborn at times, but I think in this case I may be justified.


By the way, I'm almost 27, going to graduate in May from college (going to be an elementary school teacher... I took a couple of years off from school to work full time, I'm not a slow learner. lol). Aside from Disney, my other interests include music (I play the drums and a little bit of guitar), baseball (die-hard Yankees fan), basketball, golf (playing, not watching), doing a lot of outdoors activities, reading (mostly non-fiction), watching movies, and bringing joy to the masses. How can you not love me? lol


Mickey76

 

[Disney845]

Originally posted by Mickey76
How can you not love me?

The only thing you need to add to this list of your qualities is that you are a millionaire!!!!

There are just some things that are sticking points in a relationship. WDW is that for you. If your new girl friend does not like that do you really want to invest the time and energy (not to mention money...SO tells me all the time just how expensive I am...hehe) in a relationship that might never go anywhere??

On the other hand I can somewhat see your girlfriend's point. I remember your story of your engagement, which wasn't even a year ago. I am not sure how long after that the relationship broke up, but it really hasn't been "that" long in the scheme of things. A WDW engagement is something magical that little girls and young women alike would dream of. It is no wonder that this woman you are with still has doubts. First of all she has to cope with the fact that you were recently (within less than a year) planning on marrying and spending the rest of your life with someone else, who I presume you thought you completely loved. Not only that but you proposed in such a magical way that it is hard to get over a man loving another woman so much.

Some people on here think she is acting immature and should trust you more, but I can see how this whole situation makes her feel insecure. I like that idea that others have posted about trying out a few different vacation spots to acclimate her to the idea of a WDW trip.

 

[goofy4tink]

Mickey76....Take one of my dd's...one is also a '76' and a preschool teacher, is very open to Disney (although she does think I'm something of a fanatic). Nah...take the other one...yeah, she's only 9 but what a catch...she told me the other day that her perfect wedding is 'you know where'...yep, the wedding pavillion. I told her she might love someone that doesn't love Disney as much as she does. Her snappy comeback...."Well, I guess I'll just have to divorce him before the wedding then." Would you wait for her??

 

[CarolA]

Actually Goofy4tink, I think you should start explaining to the 9 year old the value of marrying a rich man. Do you know what those weddings costs!!!