Quarantine and chill and kindness chatty clubhouse: Jump in and join the conversation! All is welcome!

[Snowysmom]

Taz Glad your family had a nice Easter and your Dad is doing well. I am at Disney the 10-14, only a short trip to get a taste of Disney for the year. Since I have a few other trips I had to just fit this one in.

Good morning. It is 43 here now with temps heading to 70. I am starting to get things together for my cruise next month. I start early to be sure I have my complete packing list and all my toiletries and updated over the counter meds ready. I bought a few things too. My NH friend is doing the same. Looking forward to the time off and away from reality. Kenny is back from Puerto Rico. He had a good time.

The busy time starts at work today until midweek next week.

Have a good day.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Dear Snowysmom, enjoy getting ready for your cruise. I'm also, of course, thankful you will get to see Mickey later this year. Maybe you and Taz could meet another time, too

Good morning and Happy May! My birthday month and a time God willing I am able to go home and be back to normal. That is sure a prayer of mine. I thank each of you always for your loving prayers for me, too. Have a great Thursday. I will check back later.

 

[lynxstch]

It's sunny and already 65, heading for 80. I passed the mower last night just for a light trim, to hold it until Sunday.

Did groceries and errands yesterday, and it's a good thing we took my car, because Summer's check engine light came on while she was driving here. She has to take it to the garage to find out why it's on. It's not flashing, it's steady.

Gracie and her boyfriend were supposed to go to the prom this weekend. But the principal told him he can't go because he missed too much time when he had his car accident (even with Dr's and hospital's notes). Then Friday he told him that he could go, after school had ended and everyone was leaving for the weekend. On Monday he told Gracie she couldn't go because she no longer goes to that school and that Summer hadn't filled out the paperwork for her to go. That the paperwork was due on Monday of last week. But they didn't tell them that until after the week was over. That principal is way overstepping his authority.
So Summer spent $250 on a dress for Gracie, her boyfriend bought new clothes to wear, and now they can't go to the dance. So they are getting dressed up anyhow, going for pictures, and then going out to dinner. I think the whole thing is ridiculous. I told her Summer should return the dress since it hasn't been worn and the tags are still on it.

They finally had Wave petunia's yesterday so I bought some of them. I've been waiting to plant my big planters until I had them, so I'll do that this morning. Chance of storms this afternoon.

Have a good day everyone.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Just a big hug dear Lynn. It is so sad that kids of all ages aren't always put first especially in a school setting that is there (or supposed to be) for their (the student's) growth! Thank you, of course, always for being a wonderful person to Gracie, her boyfriend, and Summer, too. Your family and us, your Quacker family, are so blessed to have you.

 

[Snowysmom]

Lynn Schools are very arbitrary these days in dealing with the students. I hope Gracie and her BF can have a nice date together.

Mona Glad you can get some sleep now. Being well rested to help you get stronger and do well with PT.

Good morning. The weather here is crazy. It is 52 now with temps heading to the 70s. I was woken up by a loud crash of thunder and then downpours. The storm just stopped. Luckily it was just before I had to get up anyway. I had a nice walk at the lake yesterday. The swans are back. I have been doing retail therapy lately. I found a great pair of jeans on Land's end with a good sale price. I need to purge my closet of the old jeans that are too big or just too old. I just bought another pair on sale. So comfy and fit well. Today I hope to get to the lake again. Tomorrow I am going to Jeff's and then to Luke's soccer game if the weather cooperates. Then Sunday Ethan has a soccer game but the weather looks iffy.

Have a good day.

 

[lynxstch]

Good morning. Huge storms last night, this morning dawned bright and sunny, heading for 81 degrees. Everything is soaking wet, so I don't think I'll hear too many people mowing today.

I have some cleaning to do, and then the rest of the day will be free.

Have a good first Friday in May

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Good early morning dear friends. Yesterday was one of incredible blessing and some most unexpected news later in the afternoon. The therapy room has a set of stairs with four steps on it. By God's love and grace, I went up and down these stairs three times! Jessica was right by me. Dad was thrilled to see the picture Susan so kindly took. What a gift from God that was.

Later yesterday afternoon, I had two unexpected visitors from social services here. C and her supervisor R had come to inform me that my insurance therapy benefit ends Sunday. Because there is no weekend therapy, they were only giving me one day notice :/

Dad and I met with both C and R at the end of February. That was our (and my) only other discussion with them. R, at that time, had a bleak outlook for me. God had other plans for me! R and C did acknowledge my great progress. R claimed my insurance initially covered 30 days. They ended up extending my coverage to the maximum 90 days which will be on Sunday because of how far I have come. Dad and I were never told of this clear limit between the end of February and yesterday.

R and C (probably ownership and the rest of management, too) want me out. All of you know how deeply I want to go home. Susan and I had a wonderful talk yesterday. We were on the same page. She was proud of me for seeing the big picture. I told her the last thing I want is to go home and have a setback. We agreed that if need be my staying here a few extra weeks to get even stronger was the way to go. I told Susan I would like to be 95% or so back to normal when I would go home. Safety and future.

Dad and I have the immediate concern that even C and R know has to be solved before I could go home and that is our bathroom. The bathroom in this room 108 has an oversized doorway that easily allows me to go in sitting in the wheelchair. Our bathroom doorway at home (remember we live in an OLD building that has not been kept up) is over a foot narrower.

C and R once I give them the measurement, are going to look for a junior size wheelchair for me. I am skinny so this would be fine. It just would have to fit in our bathroom. Should they find such a chair today, my guess is I would go home tomorrow. Should finding a chair take longer it sounded like they would have to let me stay here but without therapy. Oh my friends that would be horrible! As all of you know, pt is the only reason I'm here! To not get to continue to work with Susan and Jessica yet be stuck here would be just awful and so disheartening.

R claims when I go home (different setting--thank God--than here) he could probably arrange for me to have a therapist come out twice a week. Maybe and it probably would not immediately start. Plus, of course, the therapist would be brand new to me. We wouldn't have the experience or relationship that Susan and I and Jessica and I have. Dad and I depending on what does happen may reach out to Vivian who we were paying out of pocket. Keep in mind I have not seen Vivian since December 31st of last year, almost two weeks before I ended up in the ER and this all began. At least she is a known person.

I do exercises daily in bed along with strengthening my feet and legs by using them to move the wheelchair around the halls. Of course I also do standing and balancing work with Susan and Jessica. I also walk with a walker with one of them following behind me with the wheelchair for when I need a break. We are in sync and Susan and Jessica do a fantastic job of making sure the wheelchair is right behind me and ready for me to safely sit in when I need to. Dad doesn't feel comfortable doing this and he should not have to. I will be making crystal clear to R and C that my beloved dad is not to be asked about my physical safety and care.

Susan gets here very early. I will share all this with her and get her input. Especially after yesterday, I do not want to lose her or Jessica either. P, the therapy supervisor comes at 9am. I have no idea whether he can do anything but I will ask. Jessica, I normally see closer to 11am. Another therapist V, who has been a wonderful support but who I really haven't worked with will be here today too. I sure am going to try and somehow even for another week keep therapy as it is. By God's grace I have come so far. Susan said yesterday what a success story I am. I do not want in any way to backtrack!

Thank you for listening to all this and always your prayers. God willing I will update positively later. As a p.s R would arrange transport for me home so my needing to climb a dozen stairs would not be an issue right now.

Have a good Friday everyone with love always.

 

[lynxstch]

Mona--see PM

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Thank you dear Lynn. I am heading to it now.

 

[bobbiwoz]

Oh Mona, I definitely hope they can find a wheelchair that fits in your bathroom. Our bathroom at home also has a very narrow door.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

My post got eaten by the pop ups :/ I hope none of dear you are having issues with this board once again.

Thanks again dear Lynn and dear Bobbi, too. I attached a picture of our bathroom. Dad took measurements and said a wheelchair would have to be 18 inches or less. We showed this picture to R the social services supervisor this afternoon. R said it could take a week to get one and that he would start looking on Monday. So, I'm here at least through the weekend. R said he would update me on Monday.

Meantime, Jessica will be here tomorrow so I will get to work with her one more time then. I really am not happy about losing both her and Susan this way. P, the therapy supervisor said if I want he can put me on the RNA program which would mean one of three RNA's, none of whom I know, would walk with me around the hallways as I do now with Jessica and Susan. Jessica and I and extra Susan and I are in sync and of course I feel comfortable with and appreciate them both so much. I know they will always help keep me safe. We have our routine down and they do a fantastic job of having the wheelchair safely ready for me to sit down in when I need a walking break.

By God's grace I have made tremendous progress. I feel like that is being acknowledged but along with the sentiments of we would like to extend pt for you but won't or can't or probably both due to my awful insurance. P explained it would be a liability to have me (not covered for pt) walk with a pt. I think it's a true liability or much more of one anyway offering to have me walk with someone new to me. I might still be able to see a regular therapist if they have time. Dad and I will be reaching out to Vivian regardless. More to come on Monday.

Wishing each of you a great night with sweet dreams.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Hi Mona. Have been following your story. I hear that it was a dreadful place but they did get you walking again, so that has to count for something. And you made a few friends along the way as well as have a new appreciation for what it’s like to be truly stuck in a place like that - forever. I’ve been in a lot of nursing homes, as I said I grew up working in them, and helped get my aunt settled in a few, and this is, unfortunately, how many of them are. Even the supposedly “good ones”. So thank God you get to leave. Most don’t.

I’m so glad you’ve made progress physically. It will be important to continue that at home, as you know. You need to move around as much as you can, ie “move it or lose it”. I know it will be difficult to leave the security of the people who’ve helped you begin walking again, but unfortunately, I think a lot of it when you go home is going to depend on just you and your Dad, and possibly a PT who can make home visits. Make sure the social worker(s) investigates if there are any home PT programs that you might be eligible for. I wonder if there are any other groups who might be able to help. (? Among those that offer home services.) When you get home (or now) do an exhaustive search in your area. Plead your case to those that are local, maybe you’ll connect with even one person who knows how to help you.

As for the doorway, a few thoughts. Looking at that pic, I can tell you right now my DH would rig that doorway so something could fit. Granted, it’s narrow. But it looks like you’ve got some leeway to work with on the sides. You should tell your landlord they must be ADA compliant for your wheelchair, and see if they can come up and cut some of those sides out, possibly remove the door (you may have to put a curtain or something up with a tension rod), or otherwise widen the doorway. Unless those are load bearing it shouldn’t be too difficult. Any handyman could do it. And they can do it, too.

Does your apartment building have any apartments that you know are ADA compliant? Could you move into one of those at some point? I’m sure your doctors could write a letter for you. (I know you’ve been there a long time and rent is an issue, but if you could keep it the same amount in the same building, that might be an option. Perhaps the state could help with the rent more now that this has become a well documented issue for you. Again, a social worker may be able to help.)

As far as wheelchairs go, I did a brief search for chairs that are at 18in wide or close to it (if they could get a couple of inches off the doorway to, say, make it 20” wide) and I found a few; I’m sure there are more. You said you are “skinny”. If I recall you said you are about 5”7”, as well? I’m wondering if you’d fit in a pediatric chair. You don’t need a wheelchair, perse, I think a transport chair would serve your needs. We had one for Mom and it was a lifesaver. We took it everywhere and even to Disney twice when she was well into her 90s. (I may end up having to use it myself later this year if I’m unable to walk the 10miles/day at the parks after my treatment is complete; I’ve already lost some of my stamina and I’m still at the relative beginning of treatment - this regimen is quite grueling.)

A couple of examples. You can see the width of these in the links. Again, these are transport and pediatric transport chairs, they aren’t crazy expensive, and you will have it for your personal use forever, so a good investment. Just remember it’s a supplement for you to use sometimes, while the goal is still to get you walking all the time.

See what you think of these:

Seat width 18”: https://www.amazon.com/Portable-Wheelchair-Seat，Travel-handbrake-Ultra-Light/dp/B0C361SB4M?th=1

This one is 18.9” (and on sale): https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B6HB2GNZ/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?smid=A3S44M6EJCS91E&psc=1

This one is 20”: https://www.wayfair.com/furniture/p...ging-footrests-supports-220-lbs-fehi1905.html

Another thought: Could you take the wheelchair *to* the bathroom door and then use a walker the rest of the way to get to the toilet and sink, then do the same in reverse to get back to your wheelchair left outside the door? No cutting involved.

Hope this might be helpful to you. Keep up the good work in walking. Dad must be very happy you’ll be home soon. Good luck!

 

[Snowysmom]

Mona Pea has some really good ideas. I understand you do not want your Dad to be responsible for your physical care. You have come a long way, more than I think you realize. It takes some confidence, care, and initiative to continue the progress at home. Social services do need to look into visiting PT services. That will definitely help you to get back home and feel comfortable and safe. As Pea said, you need to use it or lose it. A home visit PT can help you walk outside too, using the stairs correctly. An occupational therapist could be helpful in teaching you how to get things in the kitchen and personal hygiene help such as a shower chair. I had one come to the house just once when I had my knees replaced. She was super helpful with all the daily activities that we take for granted. Social services should be able to take care of that too. My rehab was able to arrange for the home services that I needed.

Good morning. It will be warm today, near 80. I am not ready for this yet. Last night I went to dinner with Kenny, GF, and kids. We tried to go to a new restaurant that just opened in the area but no luck. No parking spaces and so many people waiting. So we went to a nearby hibachi place. The kids love hibachi. Today I am going to Luke's soccer game. Early one. Tomorrow an even earlier soccer game for Ethan at 8 am.

Have a good Saturday.

 

[lynxstch]

Good morning. Sunny now, but calling for storms later this morning.

I had also suggested that Mona a wheelchair to get to the bathroom door and then the walker from there to the commode/sink. I didn't think of a transport chair as Pea suggested, but that is also a good idea.

There are a few spots that could use mowing here, but not enough for me to bother taking the mowers out. It's going to be 74 here today, so I may plant a few more pots of flowers before it rains. I got 2 big 'cocoa mat' ones done yesterday and planted the 2 boxes on the side of the house. I'm glad I decided not to do a garden this year, my back was killing me just doing the flowers.

Have a good day everyone

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Wheelchairs are so big and bulky. Hard to move around and maneuver, let alone bring somewhere. The transport chairs are light, and fold up easily. I had ours in and out of our trunk all the time, and on airplanes, around malls and doctor’s offices with no trouble at all, etc. i think it would be a better solution than a heavy, clunky wheelchair. Wherever we went people asked where we got ours. We used it for years w Mom, and FIL even used it for a time and it’s still like new, so it held up very well even though it didn’t break the bank. But big thing was I could very easily fold it up and put it anywhere as opposed to a wheelchair that I might break my back trying to do the same.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Dear Pea and dear Snowysmom, my heartfelt thanks to you both! Our apartment building is from 1960 and has not been kept up. There are only ten units, 5 upstairs and 5 downstairs, none of which are ADA compliant. Remember, there is no ramp and hand rails are far apart and rickety. One of them is even in some bushes :/

Pea that is a wonderful door idea. I can definitely have dad ask. I don't see the owner agreeing. Dad is going to be talking with his doctor about converting our tub/shower to a walk in shower. This would make showering easier on him and safer, too. We need to find out if his insurance would cover it if the owner agreed. Remember this is the owner who when our hot water heater died and was deemed a hazard, wanted to fix rather than replace it. The only reason our building got a new one was because the inspector and probably health department gave him no choice.

I will never again take any mobility for granted! I will daily do my exercises and as much walking as I can safely do. God willing once I am back to normal, I will walk a couple blocks at least a day if I won't be getting steps in with errands. I will not ever be sitting around!

I will be calling insurance Monday to get more information. We will also reach out to Vivian.

I am just under 5'9". I am skinny. Lol the gowns drown me here. I don't think fitting in a smaller wheelchair will be an issue. At this moment, I wouldn't feel safe sitting down with only a walker at the toilet. No grab bars and no place we could put any. I need to get a little stronger first. I believe I will get there by God's grace. Thank you for the transport chair idea. We will look into it.

I have never cared for gripper socks until now. I will be getting more. My feet aren't ready yet for my regular shoes. I will be looking into gripper shoes that I could wear inside and outside. We still have the same not completely level, unforgiving laminate floors that contributed to my feet trouble and caused dad his. At least here the floors are smooth and even. I will ask Susan and Jessica for shoe recommendations.

Dad and I will also reach out to renter's rights. Landlords are supposed to replace flooring every seven years. Dad had been living in our apartment for 20 years when the original nasty carpet was replaced with hard floors. Dad had to go through a long process with the City and pay half the cost. He did ask Sandra, our management contact, a couple years ago but switching back to carpet and was told no. We will ask again.

Dear Lynn thank you always for all your ideas and support too.

I am grateful that I will have therapy with Jessica today. I will talk with Susan on Monday. Please friends take care of yourselves! Absolutely keep moving and stretching!

Love to all. I will check back later.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I don’t think ADA Compliance is optional. It’s federal law; additionally there are state laws.

ADA Compliance - Existing Facilities (CA)​

https://www.dgs.ca.gov/en/CCDA/Resources/Page-Content/California-Commission-on-Disability-Access-Resources-List-Folder/ADA-Compliance---Existing-Facitlities#:~:text=The Americans with Disabilities Act,is needed for ADA compliance.

They specifically mention widening doorways and moving toilet partitions for maneuverability.

Important to know your rights:

https://www.karlinlaw.com/blog/2024/11/ada-compliance-in-california-for-existing-buildings/

https://www.bellprop.com/blog/adapting-apartments-for-accessibility-compliance-and-considerations