Putting dog to sleep, help with DD (6)?

[tmarquez]

OP here with an update.

Thanks for all the advice and stories it helped so much! I went with the truth. I explained euthanasia to her as opposed to the popular "put to sleep". She has a scientific mind and that definately would have confused her. I also explained to her that some people will say "put to sleep" and why. She had a chance to say goodbye. She cried a little and talks about it a lot (the dog was put to sleep on Friday). Friday night at bedtime was the worst.

Also, my mom chose to have the dog cremated and someone asked about explaining that. I told her that there is a process called cremation that converts the body to something similar to ashes. She totally accepted this as an explanation and I didn't have to mention burning, etc. Even though she knows what ashes are.

We did read "The Rainbow Bridge" and she liked that a lot. We are not a religious family, but she likes the idea of heaven so that worked out well.

Anyway, thanks again! The talk with her was much easier than what I was dreading.

 

[fredflintstone]

I am soo sorry you are going this! I know just how hard this is for you! We just went through this about a month ago. We were home visiting family (we are millitary and stationed away from both families) and friends of ours were watching our dog for us. Long story short, she got hurt really bad and no surgery or anything could fix her. Our only option was to put her to sleep. That was the hardest decision we have ever had to make, and we were 10 hours from our dog. We loved her so much and she was a HUGE part of the kids lives (DS is 7 1/2 and DD will be 5 in Oct.) and we had to figure out a way to tell them. We told them she got hurt and there is nothing the vet could do to make her better and she is in a lot of pain. The only thing to make her better is if they give her a shot to put her to sleep forever. We explained that she would never come back and that yes she would die, but that was better than her being in pain. Well we also had her cremated so we could say our goodbyes to her since we weren't there when it all happened. The kids really took it hard. My husband and I took it hard. We got home and it really hit us all hard that we would no longer have our dog with us. The kids still were having a hard time with it, so I had to show them her box and explain the whole process of her being cremated and to tell them she was dead and there was no coming back. I actually had to use those words. And now we are good. They understand and are ok with it. Just be honest and only explain very little, if that is enough then stop there. I had to keep explaining cause they just couldn't/didn't want to realize the dog was no longer around!

Good Luck, kids can handle things better than you think!! Ya just might have to explain more than you originally thought!

 

[Luvchefmic]

OP here with an update.

Thanks for all the advice and stories it helped so much! I went with the truth. I explained euthanasia to her as opposed to the popular "put to sleep". She has a scientific mind and that definately would have confused her. I also explained to her that some people will say "put to sleep" and why. She had a chance to say goodbye. She cried a little and talks about it a lot (the dog was put to sleep on Friday).
We did read "The Rainbow Bridge" and she liked that a lot. We are not a religious family, but she likes the idea of heaven so that worked out well.

Anyway, thanks again! The talk with her was much easier than what I was dreading.

My family & I send condolences to your Mom & the rest of your family,
it's never easy but I am so glad you handled it this way. Your dd sounds like a very caring & intelligent child so she will be ok. I will be 55 yrs old & I still feel that when the family pets suddenly "disappeared" & when one of my Uncles was killed tragically when I was a kid (of course parents weren't as in tune with how kids reacted to things way back then) & I wasn't given the chance to say Goodbye, it affected me greatly. Good for you for taking the advice & handling it the way that you did....especially about the "put to sleep" line...that would have caused anxiety for quite a while about anyone going to sleep every night. Bless you all,
Ruthie

 

[virginiamama]

I would be honest with her. Tell her that the vet has a medicine that will put the dog to sleep peacefully. It does not hurt them and then they don't hurt anymore. I have always told my kids that it would be selfish to make our dogs suffer just so that we don't have to say goodby. They are a huge part of our family. It is not fun and it is not fair to have to go thruough this but sadly this is part of life, we can't live without dieing.

I agree. We had 4 wonderful months with our 9 year old boxer Cinder while she was going through chemo for lymphoma. She had 100% quality of life during that time and we had time to say goodbye. In the end she had a tumor rupture and we had to have her put to sleep. With DS7(at the time) we told him that he needed to tell Cinder that he loved her because she wouldn't be there when he got home from school. We talked about it later and I explained that the vet has a special medicine that makes her heart stop gently, and that it was the kindest thing we could do for her. He handled it really well. God blessed us with that time to say goodbye.

 

[RMulieri]

You need to tell her and let her have the opportunities to say goodbye.

I agree with some of the previous posts
DO NOT use the words medicine or sleep. Having her associate these two things to death is the last thing you need.

Are you burying the dog or have it cremated? Our 12 yr old boxer/lab was cremated. Her ashes are in my son's bedroom. I think having that box of ashes really helped him deal with losing her.

Good luck.
Having to have your pet put down is one of the hardest thing I have ever done.

Agree. We had to put down our cocker spaniel when our dd was 3 yrs old and we simply told her that we were bringing her to the Dr, that the Dog was sick and that she would not be coming home again.We gave her plenty of opportunity to say her goodbyes.I will tell you to be prepared to have the discussion frequently about it.DD still asks about where molly is and where heaven is...I remember out of the clear blue a few weeks ago she started to cry about the Dog( she has been gone 2 yrs).We also bought a book by Mr Rogers called "When a Pet Dies" a little dated, but totally effective