Putting a pet to sleep and kids being present?

[DVC Jen]

can someone please pass the tissues? I am sitting here with tears running down my face.

I have to go with the no vote. We have had to put down 3 pets in a 5 year period.. because of old age and disease. My husband is the only one that was there. I personally knew it was something that would be extremely hard for me and there was no way I was going to let our girls be there. Not that they wanted to.

At one point my DH wasn't even sure he wanted to get the two dogs we have now because he didn't ever want to go through that again. Like any animal lover knows though... ya just can't live without them.

Let your kids say good-bye at home. Let them know your pet will not be coming home again (at least not they way it left). Explain it is going to a better place where it will be able to play all the time and have as many treats as possible and never ever hurt again.

I am really sorry that you have to go through this. There is a poem titled "Rainbow Bridge" if you do a search for it on the net I am sure you will find it. It is an excellant poem to have around after you lose a precious friend.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I also say No. I went in with one of my dogs because it was a different vet and I needed tranquilizers afterward!
You may remember that my golden died in Sept. here at home--we had brought him home so the kids could say goodbye, but he didn't last that long. DD#1(age 12) came in just as he was passing. He did lose whatever he had left in his system(we buried the blanket with him) and his eyes were open, which freaked her out completely. Also, when DH lifted him into the wagon to take him out back he made a noise, and DD said "maybe he's still alive!" She got a ride home so she didn't have to ride the bus just to see her dog, and what she got was a major trauma! I can't imagine sitting through that with younger ones in a vet's office. It was bad enough at home, and thank goodness the younger ones (9 and 6) got home after it was all over. I was sad they couldn't say goodbye, but glad they didn't see all that.
Robin M.

 

[Virgo10]

Another no vote here. Saying goodbye is fine (and important) but being there can be very upsetting. I have only done this once but I will never forget it. The term "go to sleep" is so appropriate. When I had my cat euthenized, he just closed his eyes and was gone. No struggle, no sounds. I got as close to him as I could with my arms wrapped around his old, tired body and whispered that he should go to the Bridge now where he'd be happy and in no more pain. Of course the entire time I was sobbing like a baby. It was certainly one of the hardest things I've ever had to do but I am so grateful that I was there as he passed on and that he knew the people who loved him were wishing God speed.

Roberta

 

[Jeanny]

No

 

[Blondie]

The only sounds Briar made was a very loud exhale type of sound. It was his last breath. He never lost anything that was in his body or anything like that, he just melted into a sleeping position while the Vet checked several times for a heartbeat. His eyes were closed as well. He looked so peaceful. Just an hour or two before we were feeding him his last meal, something he loved, Cream of Wheat, a whole big bowl of it.

 

[MerryPoppins]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I've been there. It's hard.

I think it depends a lot on your kids, but personally I'd say no. I was with my dog April when we had to put her to sleep. I told the vet that I needed to hold her until she got sleepy. I held her until I felt her body getting heavy with sleep and I handed her to the vet and ran from the room. I just couldn't stay.

I agree that it's important to say goodbye. Our kids have had a chance to do that with our cat Annie and with April, but even at 13 and 17 I don't think I'd really want them to be there unless they *really* felt a need.

 

[Karel]

Pass those tissues over here!

My husband and I took our golden to the vet and decided it was time to let him go. Neither of us could stay though, it was just too much for us. Though I'll always regret not being there at the end, I know it was the right thing for us emotionally.

I hope that he has forgiven us that.

 

[OkieDisney]

You guys have such sweet stories.

Isn't it wonderful to have a pet that you can have
so many memories of!!!

I thought that it might be good for my kids to start
thinking about all of the memories they have of
Tasha.

She/is was such a SMART dog. You know the
kind, could have rewired our house.

Your stories are all very touching.

 

[MerryPoppins]

There are lots of good books out there. Have you ever read The Tenth Good Thing About Barney ? It's a story about losing a beloved dog. You might want to make a trip to the library and ask what they have or could suggest. Sometimes a book helps kids make it through a rough time.

 

[Mimi Q]

No.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I would have to vote no also. I've been with three pets during their final moments and it has always been very peaceful. But all three times the vet warned me that some animals do have body twitches, messes, or other reactions.

I just don't think kids under teenage years could handle that.

 

[DebbieB]

Pass the tissues here too. When we put our cat to sleep in June of last year, it was very peaceful. She had kidney failure and was almost gone anyway. She cried once in the car and once in the waiting room. When we took her into the room, they gave us a little time and then the vet came in. He shaved her leg and had a hard time finding a vein (he said her blood pressure was very low). She didn't make a sound while he worked. I like to think she resigned herself to it, she was ready to go. She tried to run away from home a couple days before, after always being an indoor cat. Many people have told me that cats do that when they know they are going to die. He got the shot in and that was it, no sounds or movement. Her eyes did not close. I tried to close them with my hand but they wouldn't. She did pee a little. It was so hard emotionally for me and my mom, they escorted us out through a back door. I can still see her laying on the table as we walked out. I couldn't believe that 15 1/2 years passed from the time we got her at the shelter as a little kitten, it seemed like a short time.

 

[TinkerBelle2992]

I'm so sorry about your dog. I would want to be there, but I'm older. I don't think it would be good for them to be there. It would be to hard.

 

[Dan Murphy]

So sorry to hear about Tasha, OkieDisney. Alwyas such a sad time in our lives whe nwe hae to say goodbye. Readin this brought tears here also, knowing our (actually Vince's, but we think of him as ours, our grand dog ) will see this day some time in the probably not all too ditant future, though now he is as healthy as can be.

Hugs, OkieDisney.

 

[720L]

When I was 23 I had to put my 15 year old best friend (Muffin my cat) to sleep. I wanted to be with her until the end. It was awful I definitely say no. It still haunts me.

 

[wdwgirls2]

I am crying like a baby right now...I would have to say no. I was there for my dog Lucy when my husband and I put her to sleep and it was as many have said the hardest thing I have ever done. My husband said he would do it for me but I knew in my heart that Lucy would want me to be there - she was so afraid of the vet. She died in my arms as I whispered "mommy loves you" in her ear. My girls were 6 at the time and they said their goodbyes at home. They are huge animal lovers like their mom so I knew it would be too much for them. They are almost 9 now and I still wouldnt let them go. I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

Michelle

 

[totalia]

Please don't. This is devastating as an adult. I can't imagine how children, who really don't understand death no matter how much you explain it, would possibly deal with it.

 

[Kallison]

Honestly I can't even imagine why you would want kids at that age to witness their beloved pet being put to sleep. My dog was put to sleep when I was a senior in high school and I couldn't have handled it then. Sorry for your loss, losing a pet is so hard.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Last year we started talking to our now 7yo twins about "Doggy Heaven" since our two Shepherds were aging and having health problems. We put one of the dogs to sleep this year for a brain tumor - DH and I stayed with her - he held her body; I held her head and we locked eyes until she was gone. (I still cry thinking about it). When we came home we told the kids she "died" at the vet's but was now in Doggy Heaven with Grampa Bill. We all cried together.

The kids were sad but since they knew it was coming they seemed to accept it. The next day in school they brought a picture of themselves with the dog and their wonderful teacher had them share it with the class (she later told me the kids were fine but she was a sobbing fool, LOL). They've since surprisingly asked about specifics ("HOW did she die"?) and somehow found out she had a "needle" so I told them the truth in simple terms but stressed the fact that she was very sick and was dying (amazing what kids know today; still not sure where they heard this, probably in school).

Right now I'm sad that we still have a 13yo dog, brother to the other one, who we will probably need to go through this with sometime within the next few months. I am dreading it so much, I would give anything to come down and just find him "gone" in his bed. I've never had two dogs of the same age before so never had to go through this twice in such a short period of time. I know it's never easy but I just am having a hard time even thinking about it. He's relatively happy right now and not suffering so we'll see how it goes (he's blind, deaf and very arthritic). He's such a good dog...

 

[laurie31]

Originally posted by Pea-n-Me
Last year we started talking to our now 7yo twins about "Doggy Heaven" since our two Shepherds were aging and having health problems. We put one of the dogs to sleep this year for a brain tumor - DH and I stayed with her - he held her body; I held her head and we locked eyes until she was gone. (I still cry thinking about it). When we came home we told the kids she "died" at the vet's but was now in Doggy Heaven with Grampa Bill. We all cried together.

This is how my parents handled it when my beloved dog died when I was 7. I had no idea she was put to sleep until just a few years ago. I know honesty is important, but I think my parents did the right thing. As a 7 year old, I would not have understood the decision - I think it would have made the whole thing much worse for me. She had been sick for awhile and they told me the disease she had was fatal. This was the truth. The reason they had her put to sleep was not only she was suffering and there was no possiblility of a cure, but the disease she had was one of the rare doggie diseases that can be transmitted to humans. This dog slept with me and I let her kiss me on my face. My Mom was terrified that I could get this from her. They had told me the disease was something I could catch from her and I had to be careful around her and not let her lick me anymore. I was very sad that she was sick and when she went to the vet she was extremely sick and I think I knew she wasn't coming back. One day Mom told me that she had died at the vet's. Of course, this was also true. Now that I'm an adult and a mom, I can totally understand why they wouldn't want the dog to suffer and how frightened they were about my health. If one of our beloved furbabies had something that could kill my child, there would be no debate, you know? (btw, I have no idea what this disease was, I only know it affected the liver)

As a 7 year old, it was bad enough to know my dog had died. I would have been devastated to watch it happen. I still miss her. I'm glad the last remembrances I have of her are not her final moments...

Laurie