Put Down Your Phones!

[Toad_Passenger]

Thought I'd give my 2 cents here, since everybody else has.

I used to be one of those people who most of you would criticize. Always checking my phone/internet whatever. I also reacted in a way similar to a large number of people in this thread have.

I would give the "mind your own business" look, or make up an excuse as to why I had to be online at that moment. The sad truth is that all of my grumpiness towards those criticizing was really just me trying to justify my actions to myself. Deep down I knew I shouldn't be sitting at the dinner table with my phone out. I knew I didn't need to be checking twitter/Facebook at the very moment my daughter was cheerleading. I didn't want to admit it though. I didn't want to admit that I was the one who was wrong.

Why would I need to "check out" during cheer, something my daughter loves to do and wants me to be there to see? Or why would I need to be on Twitter during Dinner when my son wants to tell me about his day? My kids are awesome, and I get my "parental break" after they go to bed at night. That offers me plenty of time to catch up with emails, etc.

Do I still check here and there? Yes. But I am much more aware of how I don't need to always be connected.

It took me a long time to discover this in myself, and I worry when I see people reacting in this thread similarly to the way I was reacting. Perhaps they, too, are only seeking to justify their actions to themselves, because, they probably do know that they're missing out on things. No one wants to admit that they are responsible for missing out on life around them.

Tl;dr - I was addicted to being connected, and didn't want to admit it, so I lashed out at those who would point it out.

 

[mefordis]

I do understand SOME people will never pay attention, but there are more and more, due to smart phones..


If you "NEED" to use that all important cell phone, just please find a place to stand/sit so you don't hurt yourself or others..

But not when you are with family or friends, or in restaurants (or can they use them if they are in restaurants alone?)

I'm unclear on the rules.

 

[Mom2six]

Feeling bad for the family we saw who didn't look up during their entire meal because they were busy talking to people they weren't with. (I mean the entire meal- not waiting for food)

If the extreme isn't you- then why get so defensive?

Unless...

Don't take this the wrong way, but I find it sort of creepy, stalky, and really rude for someone to watch another family for their entire meal.

 

[mefordis]

Don't take this the wrong way, but I find it sort of creepy, stalky, and really rude for someone to watch another family for their entire meal.

You know, there seem to be a lot of (what they probably consider themselves as) "people watchers" at WDW. I was on the boat having a conversation with my mom and this woman was just staring at me, hanging on my every word as if she were a part of the conversation! I stopped talking, asked mom to excuse me and just stared at the pathetic woman until finally she looked away. Gee wiz! Talk about RUDE!

 

[TJBerry]

If you "NEED" to use that all important cell phone, just please find a place to stand/sit so you don't hurt yourself or others..

But then we'd have the holier-than-thou Gladys Kravitz saying "oh look at that mother, neglecting her poor children to stand over there" while she checks her work email, calls her pet sitter, calls her ill Mother, etc

I don't care if people see me checking my work email, texting my Mom about our trip or Facebooking for a few mins on vacation. What they don't see is the rest of my day, spent laughing and talking with my family.

 

[luvmy3]

Luvmy3, do you not see the irony in being defensive about being called hypocritical while you are surprised that someone else is being defensive about being accused of ignoring their family just because they spend some waiting time in the parks on their smart phones?

I'm not being defensive about it, I'm just trying to understand where you see the hypocrisy in what I've said here
I also dont have a problem with people defending their behavior, but I do have to wonder why some here are taking it very personally and getting way too defensive over things some stranger says on the internet. Also, I see alot of assumptons coming from those same people. Ironic since they've called "us" out on our assumptions and judgement.

 

[LSUfan4444]

I saw it as.. The people being criticized are the ones
Ignoring their family... Which does sadden me.

This cannot be deduced only while watching a family during a meal, or "noticing" as others have so hard to try and suggest.

Although I THINK my family will have better experiences and memories, this is your choice .. No matter how sad it my be..

How can you rationally come to that conclusion? Do you know what we did that morning, or what we have planned that night? Do you know how long I was on my phone before you saw me, or after I leave?

You're making blanket judgments based off of limited interaction and hardly any knowledge.

Like previously said....yes, we all know the severity of alcohol abuse, but is it rational to assume everyone you see for an hour in the world showcase with two drinks is an alcoholic or that you will have a better experience than them because you won't be hungover?

 

[HippieChickadee]

Thought I'd give my 2 cents here, since everybody else has.

I used to be one of those people who most of you would criticize. Always checking my phone/internet whatever. I also reacted in a way similar to a large number of people in this thread have.

I would give the "mind your own business" look, or make up an excuse as to why I had to be online at that moment. The sad truth is that all of my grumpiness towards those criticizing was really just me trying to justify my actions to myself. Deep down I knew I shouldn't be sitting at the dinner table with my phone out. I knew I didn't need to be checking twitter/Facebook at the very moment my daughter was cheerleading. I didn't want to admit it though. I didn't want to admit that I was the one who was wrong.

Why would I need to "check out" during cheer, something my daughter loves to do and wants me to be there to see? Or why would I need to be on Twitter during Dinner when my son wants to tell me about his day? My kids are awesome, and I get my "parental break" after they go to bed at night. That offers me plenty of time to catch up with emails, etc.

Do I still check here and there? Yes. But I am much more aware of how I don't need to always be connected.

It took me a long time to discover this in myself, and I worry when I see people reacting in this thread similarly to the way I was reacting. Perhaps they, too, are only seeking to justify their actions to themselves, because, they probably do know that they're missing out on things. No one wants to admit that they are responsible for missing out on life around them.

Tl;dr - I was addicted to being connected, and didn't want to admit it, so I lashed out at those who would point it out.

Great post (and not because you share my opinion on the topic)

I think it's very easy to justify something because "everyone is doing it, it's the world we now live in".

That doesn't make it better.

I think NY times had an article several years ago about "screen time" and the average adult was spending 8 1/2 hours a DAY in front of a screen. (TV, Cell phone, computer).

Do the math, who wants to get to the end of their life and think "I spent over 220,000 hours behind a screen"

Just being conscious of that helps me stay in check. For example, I've spent much too much time on this forum today! I'm putting the computer away for the rest of the day. (Cell phone's internet, too! No cheating!)

Peace out

 

[Burnedout]

I think it's better for everyone not to use it at all!
But it's not my family sitting at a table with their cell phones out.. So although it saddens me, it does not effect me or my family..

So if given the choice, yes! I'd be happy if they only used it while sitting.. So as not to hurt others..

Lol, what a waste of sadness. For all you know those families spend more time together than you do with yours. We take about 8 weeks of travel time which at least until recently involved all of us Easy because we homeschooled. Now I am monitoring my parent and their caregiver when I travel. This allows me to make sure they both she and the caregiver are getting by when I'm not there to give support.

While it might be a waste for you to spend time making sure life back home is toddling on for others it might be the only way they could take a vacation.

Or those people just might be talking to the fiancé left behind for a lay trip to the world with the parents. My son barely survived but she couldn't join us. So thankful he chose to be with us. Amazingly I wasn't offended that he was "ignoring" is sometimes. She's a keeper. He's best be attentive.

Judging people based on snapshots of their lives is far more sad to me than a meal without chit chat.

 

[Burnedout]

Thinking more. There have always been inattentive parents, distracted teens, etc. my dad was terrible with kids. (Great with adults) he wouldn't have used a phone at the table die to his generation, but he would happily have used one at other times. He always had a book. My sister and I became great at waiting and entertaining ourselves. It wasn't work, or the book that was to blame. It was him. The rest were just means to n end.

 

[csm101]

Can't thank you more for this thread. I see it all too much, I just read that a merchant in Mississauga, Ont. is being sued because they refused to serve someone who would not stop talking on there cell phone while at the checkout. The public is 90% for the merchant.

 

[BlackMagicWoman]

I've been guilty of being inattentive of the people around me because I'm looking at my phone.

It's hard to judge what other people are doing though. I read on my phone. I respond to work related things on my phone. I use my phone for directions. I use it as my camera. I check the weather and news on my phone. I text people at the table to talk about the other people at the table.

In general, I am less engaged with my phone at Disney because anyone I would text/email is there with me. However, at lunch it can become the time to email/text each other the pics that we took.

 

[Burnedout]

Can't thank you more for this thread. I see it all too much, I just read that a merchant in Mississauga, Ont. is being sued because they refused to serve someone who would not stop talking on there cell phone while at the checkout. The public is 90% for the merchant.

Totally different. I agree with the "pubic". It was a disrespectful way to behave

 

[brattyme]

Though I disagree with phones in general, I admit I'd rather have people quietly talking or texting rather than having to hear a stupid phone conversation because the user is using speaker- that may have TMI (one person graphically asked how the labor went )

And I'd rather have a person an the phone rather than overly tired and hot parents and kids argueing.

As long as they watch where they are going. I am so short, I get pushed around a lot. Mind you, people with strollers also seem to use me as target practice.

I care more about phones when it is in restrooms. In feel uneasy with the camera and all.

 

[Magpie]

Although I THINK my family will have better experiences and memories, this is your choice .. No matter how sad it my be..

And I KNOW my family will have better experiences and memories, because we aren't wasting our time worrying about what other families are doing. Nor are we sitting around being sad over strangers (possibly) ignoring their famileis, using cell phones, the state of the world today, the decline of civilization, etc...

We're perfectly happy and successful, giving the people around us the benefit of the doubt.

Great post (and not because you share my opinion on the topic)

I think it's very easy to justify something because "everyone is doing it, it's the world we now live in".

That doesn't make it better.

I think NY times had an article several years ago about "screen time" and the average adult was spending 8 1/2 hours a DAY in front of a screen. (TV, Cell phone, computer).

Do the math, who wants to get to the end of their life and think "I spent over 220,000 hours behind a screen"

Just being conscious of that helps me stay in check. For example, I've spent much too much time on this forum today! I'm putting the computer away for the rest of the day. (Cell phone's internet, too! No cheating!)

Peace out

Actually, I'm sure I've spent at least that much time in front of a screen writing novels and short stories. And I don't regret a thing! At the end of my life, I'll have left behind some pretty nifty creations.

Today, though, I'm taking the day off and doing inventory and checking in on this thread during my breaks from hauling books all over my house. (We've got about a million books - my son calls me a book hoarder.)

I almost went with the Dewey Decimal system this time...

 

[kaytieeldr]

That you bothered to take a picture and (I'm assuming without their consent) post this picture tells me you're way over involved in others lives.

Edit: the irony is the person who took this also got out their phone, taking attention away from their family, to judge and put down this family.

So based on the edit, it's clear that HippieChick didn't take the picture, she simply posted the very first Google result - correct?

May I ask what there is about that picture that makes you think it was taken with a gotten-out (vs in-hand) phone (vs camera)? Or that the photographer was with family or other people (vs alone)? Or that the subjects didn't know they were being photographed?

 

[trainingupmy4princes]

Technology is creeping everywhere! I just read they are encouraging Boy Scouts to bring their phones to the Jamboree ( usually a huge no-no when camping) to learn about the area and share info. They set up 250 hot spots.

I personally want my family to use less on vacation, but know we need it some for pictures and communication (different age groups, need to split up some).

My oldest DS is at Jamboree right now and yes has his phone. But more so because he is gone 15 days and I want to check in with him every other day and know he's OK. I'm a worrier otherwise.

 

[kaytieeldr]

You were on your computer or tablet or phone in order to post the photo, and you were on your computer to find it. If someone had taken a photo of you at that moment and posted it as, "Isn't this sad that this poor person sits at her computer all day writing to strangers instead of interacting with the real world", would that be fair? Of course not.

If she's home? It'd be creepier than anything else that's been assigned that designation in this thread.

If you had a video of this family day in / day out for, say, a normal week and it showed them buried in their electronics and not interacting with each other, then maybe it would "make ya think". But for all we know, five minutes after this photo was taken, the family was engaged in spirited conversation about their day or their upcoming vacation or > gasp! < even what they just read on Facebook or saw on their news update. And maybe five minutes earlier they were talking about how much they missed having dad there too, and decided to check their e-mails to see if he'd sent them any messages from Afghanistan.

This photo provides no real information.

Dad's not in Afghanistan.

He's at the table. Far right. Brown hair, crew cut, green shirt. Holding a silver cell phone.

Photo does provide some real information.

 

[okeydokey]

This is what I mean about being so defensive. (I know you are saying this in jest). I dont think using your phone at dinner means you're a neglectful parent, I just think its sad to see an entire family engaged with their gadgets while sitting together for an hour or two. And in my case, I'm not assuming anything, I witness this every time we go out. There are families who sit there totally ignoring eachother, but there are plenty that dont too.

I think it is the self righteousness that most people object to. Posters who find it so sad that other families don't act the way they do imply that their way is the right way and that everyone else is wrong. The other families aren't as happy, well adjusted, supportive as they are, isn't it sad......Well, no, those families don't seem sad, just different. My worldview doesn't dictate that others are inferior to me if they do things differently.

These technology threads always turn out this way. Our gadgets are blamed for making us less connected to each other. Then our gadgets are blamed for making us too connected to each other.

 

[Just_Trish]

OP - couldn't agree more. I see it all the time and I can't stand it. When did we as a whole become unable to function without needing a 'distraction'? Crazy! And I'm not an old fuddy-duddy either!

My DD (19) and I are taking our next door neighbor to WDW in Jan for her 16th birthday. That girl is one of those who has to always have a device to distract her. Every few minutes she has to post on Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter her every freaking move. And if it's not that, it's her iPod!

I have already told her and her family that we will NOT take her if she doesn't agree/understand that there will be none of that crap while we are in the parks. In the room at night, no problem, post away...but in the parks, NO!