Purple fluffy unicorns

[TheOtherVillainess]

*Warning--I am posting this at the very start of the post so that you can't say I didn't warn you. What you are about to read is supposed to be funny. It was written to be funny, even though I am known to have a somewhat dark and odd sense of humor. I am putting my flame suit on now, because there will surely be flames about this.

But it's supposed to be funny. Keep that in mind. Have a nice day and please stand clear of the doors. Por favor, mantangase alejado de las puertas! ***


You don't have to read it. You can click the back button now.





Don't say I didn't warn you.




If you continue to read, it will not be my fault if you are offended. I gave you fair warning.



I just talked to my mother, who is on vacation. She's up in Pigeon Forge, maxing out her credit cards and she called to tell me she bought DS a fluffy purple unicorn.

M=Your Friendly Neighborhood SuperMom
DM=My not so dear mother

DM: Guess what I just got DS!

M: Um?

DM:A fluffy little purple unicorn with sparkle hair.

M: Mom, you do know DS is a BOY right?

DM: Of course I do. That's why I got it in PURPLE.*as if it should be bleeding obvious that purple is a very manly color*

M: But Mom..he's a BOY. That is so GAY!*gigglesnort*

DM: No it's not. It's not gay at all.

M:*trying not to laugh my butt off and failing miserably. Because for some odd reason, this strikes me as very, very funny.* Yes it is. It's just so..so..GAY!

DM:*huffily* Well do you want me to take it back?

M: If you want.

DM: But boys like unicorns.

M: Yeah, if they're gay. *snicker*

DM: Fine. I'll take it back.

Five minutes later....
DM: I'm taking the unicorn back. Do you want him to have a bear or a moose?

M: *Well let's see..which is less gay? A bear or a moose?* Moose please.But not a gay moose. *and the whole time I'm seeing that scene in my head from Princess Diaries II:Royal Engagement where Princess Mia is getting her hair done by Paolo, with all these funky little tight buns all over her head. Mia says "But I look like a MOOSE." and Paolo says "But a CUTE moose. Make all the boy moose go "Fwaaaah!"*

DM: Fine! *click*


I know that using 'that's so gay' is quite likely derogatory and may upset some people. But the whole situation struck me as somewhat humourous because I have a very wierd sense of humor.

TOV

 

[Pop Daddy]

long post

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Does that mean I'm sexy?

TOV

 

[Pop Daddy]

drop dead sexy

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Awww...Pop Daddy. I didn't know you cared.

TOV

 

[sugarpie]

Yeah it is kind of funny to buy a boy a purple fluffy unicorn but I probably would have let her give it to him. Years from now you two could be laughing about the time his senile granny gave him it to him.

And a gift is a gift - it's the thought that counts. She was thinking about her grandson and wanted to get him something. You took the joy out of it for her.

Thank God for crazy grandmas, though!!! They keep things interesting.

 

[DISUNC]

How can you think 'masculine purple fluffy unicorns' are NOT funny?

 

[DISUNC]

long post

TF! PLeeeeeeeeeeease GIVE THIS MAN A 'NOTER OF LONG POST" TAG!!!

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

My mother was always a bit....odd. But ever since she started taking a combination of pain meds and Prozac, she's been even more loopy.

TOV

 

[sugarpie]

My mother was always a bit....odd. But ever since she started taking a combination of pain meds and Prozac, she's been even more loopy.

TOV

Awesome!!!

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

TOV

 

[paigevz]

Yeah, I think it's kind of funny. I'm more offended by your avatar.........now that's just sick and twisted. (Not that there's anything wrong with that).

 

[diznygirl]

Yeah it is kind of funny to buy a boy a purple fluffy unicorn but I probably would have let her give it to him. Years from now you two could be laughing about the time his senile granny gave him it to him.

And a gift is a gift - it's the thought that counts. She was thinking about her grandson and wanted to get him something. You took the joy out of it for her.

Thank God for crazy grandmas, though!!! They keep things interesting.

Oh, we have gotten those "a gift is a gift - it's the thought that counts" type of gifts from MIL and her equally questionable sister. It's hard to get the gratitude flowing over a free AOL CD!!!! I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to get a purple fluffy unicorn from one of them!

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Paige--I have a very wierd sense of humor and when I spotted this avatar on LiveJournal, I was like "OMG..that is just so WRONG! Funny, but wrong."

Sometimes I don't mind my mother giving me things that are wierd (like the hardback copy of the "Cat Who Came For Christmas" trilogy by Cleaveland Amory I got last year for Christmas--that one actually made me cry at the end).

But sometimes I wonder if she doesn't get DS mixed up with my sister's two daughters who, at the ages of 2 1/2 and 1, are very girly indeed.

TOV

 

[L107ANGEL]

Oh, we have gotten those "a gift is a gift - it's the thought that counts" type of gifts from MIL and her equally questionable sister. It's hard to get the gratitude flowing over a free AOL CD!!!! I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to get a purple fluffy unicorn from one of them!

Get out of here!

 

[Curious]

See, now, I would have had a very different response:

I'd have accepted the gift of a lovely little purple unicorn with sparkly hair. Then I'd have removed one its eyes and run through the house with it and DS singing, It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple unicorn, a one-eyed, one-horned, flying... Might even let it really spread its wings and toss it back-and-forth across the room a few times.

(I had stuffed animal wars with siblings on more than one occasion. Poor things took a beating. Sometimes so did the stuffed animals. )

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

TOV