Puppy help!

[N&B'smom]

We got a puppy about 3 weeks ago. When we first brought him home he was petrified of all of us. It didn't take long for him to warm up to myself and my two kids. My DH is a different story, he's not home as much. He only gets to be around him an hour or so a day. But slowly he is getting better with him and I've seen progress. He does still shy away from him when he tries to pet him and stuff. But as the time goes by he gradually relaxes towards him. Each day it has gotten better. (even if just a little)

My thing is this, he is SOOOOOO scared of everyone else. Tonight my parents stopped by and my mom started to approach him and he barked, growled and ran away. It's breaking my heart! I keep taking him to their house so he can get used to being around them but so far I have seen NO progress at all.

I have never had a scared pet before so I am at a loss about what I should do. Please, help if you can...I'm so bummed out for the little guy. You can see that he wants to come over and sniff the people and check them out but he holds himself back.

What can I do!?!?!?!?!?

Tonight I got really upset when a different family member was over and the dog was obviously frightened. This guy still went straight for him even though he was petrified, the dog stood up, barked and growled. This person then turned to my husband and said 'he's awful' and walked out.

He's NOT awful, he's a scared little 4.5 month old puppy that shows myself and the two kids tons of love. That really ticked me off.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Can you help!?!?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Hmm. The first thing I'll say is that each and every dog, even within the same breed, is very different. And we may not always get the type of dog we envisioned when we bring them home. To start.

Second, it's easy to get emotional over disappointments but try hard to keep your emotions in check. Why? Because emotions cause reactions and reactions can make the situation worse.

Now, the solution. You may have the type of dog that requires special considerations. In other words, you may not (probably don't) have a "typical" puppy on your hands who loves everyone and everything, etc.

Your dog, at 4 1/2 months, is an adolescent. So it's not like you have a puppy-puppy. You have a puppy-dog. There's a difference, IME. And the term is Fearful Puppy/Dog if you want to look up more information.

Basically, all interactions, at least for now, need to be low key/non-emotional/non-threatening. The dog needs to learn to trust. Or as my trainer used to say, the dog needs to learn that nothing bad is going to happen. You may not be able to introduce the dog to people the way you introduce most dogs to people. No males or other sources of intimidation coming at him (in his view) hovering over him invading his space. Set your dog up for success: let him come to people instead of them coming to him. Have them sit down, ideally on the floor. And ignore the dog, but have some treats on hand so when the dog does come to them, he can be rewarded. Unemotionally. Almost in a way that's ignoring him. Have your husband do it and also some other dog friendly men. And ask them to do it your way as your dog is in training.

Over time, your dog should learn to trust. Repitition, exposure and practice will help him learn nothing bad will happen. Remember, don't coddle the dog under any circumstances when he's afraid, or you'll reinforce there's reason to worry. Just act as if all is normal. Don't isolate him; work with him. Distract him. Playing fetch is a great distraction and avenue to development of trust. (No rough games or tug of war, etc.) And make sure he's exercised to the hilt. We have had to live this ourselves with one of our dogs. It's challenging, but it can be done and you can enjoy a well adjusted dog despite it's fears, but it takes a lot of work and understanding. Good luck.

PS what kind of dog is it and what were his beginnings?

 

[N&B'smom]

No males or other sources of intimidation coming at him (in his view) hovering over him invading his space. Set your dog up for success: let him come to people instead of them coming to him. Have them sit down, ideally on the floor. And ignore the dog, but have some treats on hand so when the dog does come to them, he can be rewarded.

Yes, this is what I keep suggesting but everyone keeps ignoring my wishes and doing there own thing, therefore scaring him more. We have definitely been doing the whole ignore him thing. Heck, that's how we got him to trust us! But no one will be patient and they all keep trying to rush it rather then let him come to them. Thank you for confirming that I had the right idea! Sometimes I feel like I don't know what is best to do!!

He's SUCH a sweet, loving dog with us. He loves to play and is quite the snuggler! He's a cocker spaniel and he came from a breeder who sadly must not have socialized him AT ALL with people or other dogs. (outside his litter mates)

When we first met him he seemed to be the most comfortable with us, even though it was our first time meeting him! Lots of people walked by and he was fine. I guess it's partly because he's away from his 'pack' and needs to get completely comfortable with us like he was with them. That will help some, I'm sure but I fear he will always be scared of everyone!

 

[Ceila]

Perhaps you could enlist the help of some friends. Instead of asking guests who just happen to be coming over anyway to get with the program, schedule a time for different people to come specifically to help you in training the puppy, maybe one person per day or every other day. Tell them ahead of time what you need done so they're ready to ignore him as soon as they walk in. Slip them a couple of treats to hide in their hands and then have them sit on the floor and ignore the pup while patiently waiting for him to come over. When he comes over, they can hold the treat in their hand, plam up, for him to take. If you repeat this with different people maybe he'll start to feel more comfortable.

 

[N&B'smom]

Perhaps you could enlist the help of some friends. Instead of asking guests who just happen to be coming over anyway to get with the program, schedule a time for different people to come specifically to help you in training the puppy, maybe one person per day or every other day. Tell them ahead of time what you need done so they're ready to ignore him as soon as they walk in. Slip them a couple of treats to hide in their hands and then have them sit on the floor and ignore the pup while patiently waiting for him to come over. When he comes over, they can hold the treat in their hand, plam up, for him to take. If you repeat this with different people maybe he'll start to feel more comfortable.

GREAT idea!! I'm willing to try anything!!