puberty

[The Disney Bunch]

I think 8 is a little young but I was 10 when I got mine. Other women in my family though got their as late as 16. I am not ready for my girls to get theirs anytime soon! My oldest girls will be 8 in a few months!

 

[RMulieri]

DD is 8 and is showing no signs of puberty. We have been having the puberty and sex talk for the last 2 weeks. This has been an on going conversation. Every night she seems to have a couple of more questions. I just answer her questions and tell her to let me know if she has any other questions. She plays softball with girls who are 11 and I really want to be sure she is getting accurate info. Several of the girls on her team have hit puberty. Hopefully, we have a while before she hit puberty. She is tall for her age; however, she is very thin. Also, I hit puberty around 12 and so did my sister. I figure better to be safe than sorry.

I am glad to hear you are doing this.I know alot of times us Moms are not ready for this, but we need to put our uneasiness aside.My niece was 8 when she got hers( she is now 12) and still has no idea of the birds and bees( she has come to me about this).i have urged my Sil to have this discussion with her like ....yesterday.My sil response was" I am not ready to dicscuss this with her".i am seriously worried for my niece since she now has quite the interest in boys, and is obviously developed. I find if your are nervous to buy some books and allow questions( like you did).you may be uncomfortable, but your daughter will be knowledgeable and prepared.

 

[lpberg]

DD is 8 and is showing no signs of puberty. We have been having the puberty and sex talk for the last 2 weeks. This has been an on going conversation. Every night she seems to have a couple of more questions. I just answer her questions and tell her to let me know if she has any other questions. .....

Not to be nosy, by any means, but.....what prompted the initial conversation? I'm the poster from above who's DD has asked nothing...which I know doesn't mean anything. I'm trying to determine the best way to "bring it up" and the best topic to start with. I mean, I've told her that her body will change as she gets older - that she'll get a chest like mommy...

 

[kellig]

Not to be nosy, by any means, but.....what prompted the initial conversation? I'm the poster from above who's DD has asked nothing...which I know doesn't mean anything. I'm trying to determine the best way to "bring it up" and the best topic to start with. I mean, I've told her that her body will change as she gets older - that she'll get a chest like mommy...

I am not the prior poster, but I will share how things happened around my house. DD7 has always had breast tissue (since she was born). The doctor has always monitored and asked other questions during every visit. She has been wearing a camisole/tank top under her shirts since she was 5 yrs old.

About a month ago, I bought The Care and Keeping of You from American Girl and we started looking at it and reading it together. I tried to keep it to the areas that were applicable to her age and development to start with. Within a week, she told me that she wanted to get a bra (which was good...because she was getting to the point of needing one).

We have continued to read the book together which prompts her to ask questions which I answer. I am taking it slow, trying not to go overboard with too much info. However, at the same time, trying to teach her before she HAS to know.

DH thinks DD7 is WAY too young, but I know otherwise. I figure within the next 12-18 months we will be facing the monthly visitor!

Hopefully I didn't ramble too much, but it is just such a sad thing to think about at such a young age.

 

[lpberg]

Thank you......that's exactly the kind of information I'm looking for. DD is 8 and I think we'll be ok for a *little* while - I started late - 8th grade - so the dr tells me! I just want her to have some information well beforehand - my mother didn't tell me until late in the game and I sabotaged the whole conversation, telling her I didn't want to know any of it

I'll have to look into getting that American Girl book. She's just now getting into reading the American Girl doll book series..........

 

[kellig]

Thank you......that's exactly the kind of information I'm looking for. DD is 8 and I think we'll be ok for a *little* while - I started late - 8th grade - so the dr tells me! I just want her to have some information well beforehand - my mother didn't tell me until late in the game and I sabotaged the whole conversation, telling her I didn't want to know any of it

I'll have to look into getting that American Girl book. She's just now getting into reading the American Girl doll book series..........

I'm glad that helped a little. I will warn you...there's a lot of information in that book. I was leaving it in DD's room with her other books for us to look at each evening. A few weeks ago, she had a friend spend the night. They brought the book to me and asked me a question!!! Note to self: DO NOT ASSUME I KNOW ANYTHING!! I kindly (and quickly) told them that was something girls talked to their parents about and it was not my place to discuss this with DD's friend. I mentioned it to the friend's mom so that she would be aware and could have some follow up conversations with her.

It is just tough for us because none of DD's friends are developing at all.

 

[jakoky]

hi there, i responded earlier in this thread but really wanted to add something in

I wanted to maybe put a few moms minds at ease...i see some are worried because there daughters are showing signs of body changes, that they are worried they may get there period soon...i can assure you it isnt always the case, sometimes very far from it..

my oldest dd was barely 9 when i realized she was already growing hair under her arms ...she was very early on this and as for her needing a bra, she didnt actually need one until grade 6....she was pretty average on this one...she had the hips and the "breasts" and she didnt get her period until she turned 14, the very end of grade 7...very lucky girl....btw, that is when her bra size started to go up also, all the way to 34 D/DD at 17...

now my youngest dd is 12(turning 13 in 2 weeks)...same as my oldest dd, hair under the arms really early BUT at 12 she already wears a 34 B, by far one of the biggest of all her friends(she is also quite tiny, only 5 ft 1 inch and wears a size 0/1...she also has the curves in the right places which really freaks me out BUT she has not started her period yet...i am thinking she might be late like my oldest dd...i sure hope so for her sake, she is still my baby and i am not ready




Here's to hoping that many of the little girls just start developing early, but get lucky and dont actually get it for a long time to come.....
sharon

 

[kellig]

hi there, i responded earlier in this thread but really wanted to add something in

I wanted to maybe put a few moms minds at ease...i see some are worried because there daughters are showing signs of body changes, that they are worried they may get there period soon...i can assure you it isnt always the case, sometimes very far from it..

my oldest dd was barely 9 when i realized she was already growing hair under her arms ...she was very early on this and as for her needing a bra, she didnt actually need one until grade 6....she was pretty average on this one...she had the hips and the "breasts" and she didnt get her period until she turned 14, the very end of grade 7...very lucky girl....btw, that is when her bra size started to go up also, all the way to 34 D/DD at 17...

now my youngest dd is 12(turning 13 in 2 weeks)...same as my oldest dd, hair under the arms really early BUT at 12 she already wears a 34 B, by far one of the biggest of all her friends(she is also quite tiny, only 5 ft 1 inch and wears a size 0/1...she also has the curves in the right places which really freaks me out BUT she has not started her period yet...i am thinking she might be late like my oldest dd...i sure hope so for her sake, she is still my baby and i am not ready




Here's to hoping that many of the little girls just start developing early, but get lucky and dont actually get it for a long time to come.....
sharon

Sharon - Thanks so much for your post!

 

[crisi]

Medical literature says "normal" is between eight and sixteen with eleven to thirteen being "average." The age has dropped significantly, and there are various theories (better diet, hormones in milk and meat, even that age at start of menarche is something that cycles through and that its been low in the past and we are simply seeing a lower point in the natural cycle) to explain this, but no definate proof.

 

[Xcited4Disney]

Haven't read all of the replies yet, but I would like to recommend the American Girl book, The care and Keeping of You. It goes over different things such as breast develop, menstruation (even how to use a tampon!), feelings, nutrition etc. It is very age appropriate but you can go over the parts you want her to read about now and save the other subjects for a later time. Then she can ask any further questions she has after reading it.

I was 9 when I got my period. I was in 4th grade and this was in 1983. I knew what was happening because my mother noticed I was developing and made sure to tell me. I think it's more common now than then. It was just me and another girl who had gotten left back. I felt so alone and that my childhood was robbed. It wasn't of course, but I thought it was so unfair that my other classmates didn't have to worry about that.

Now my dd just turned 9 last month and will be starting 4th grade in two weeks. I am so anxious! This is me all over again! She started developing breast buds a few months shy of age 7 and has had to wear deodorant since she turned 6, so I have talked to her about body changes since that time. At first her pediatrician said that she will probably get it at 9 as well but at her last check up in January, she said she thinks it'll hold off until 10. Although my dd now has added pubic/underarm hair to the mix , there isn't any roundness to her shape yet. That was January though, it is now almost September and I think I do see some rounding of her Needless to say, I already prepared for her a little "kit" to carry in her schoolbag this year just in case. I found a cute Jonas Bros cosmetic pouch on clearance at Lmtd Too. In it, I placed 1 Always slender with wings pads, 1 pantyliner, and a few individually wrapped wipes. I'm also thinking of squeezing in an extra pair of panties in a little ziplock too. I had already showed her all of feminine product choices in real life and she said that pads look "wayyy easier Mommy!" The only thing she pointed out was that even if she got it at school, she doesn't know how to put it on (Doh!) so i need to let her put one on and also get used to how it's going to feel. *sigh*

 

[asmit4]

Needless to say, I already prepared for her a little "kit" to carry in her schoolbag this year just in case. I found a cute Jonas Bros cosmetic pouch on clearance at Lmtd Too. In it, I placed 1 Always slender with wings pads, 1 pantyliner, and a few individually wrapped wipes. I'm also thinking of squeezing in an extra pair of panties in a little ziplock too. I had already showed her all of feminine product choices in real life and she said that pads look "wayyy easier Mommy!" The only thing she pointed out was that even if she got it at school, she doesn't know how to put it on (Doh!) so i need to let her put one on and also get used to how it's going to feel. *sigh*

I just want to say that this is a fantastic idea. I knew lots of girls in grade school that started IN school and had NOTHING on hand. They were too embarrassed to go to the nurse- so many just wadded up with TP until they got home.

I will also add that during the year b4 I started- my mom bought those carefree pads- the small ones that are like 1x4 and normally used for women during the off times. I started to wear one every day (actually I still do to this day). It helped me get used to wearing at least something and my mom didn't have to worry too much about me starting at school and having nothing on but undies.

 

[swald91]

The American Girl book you are talking about is a good book!!! I bought it for my daughter too. I was 14 & got my gift on April Fool's Day!!!!!! Definitely something I'll never forget! I know some girls are developing so early. I think it's something in the food???? My daughter is 11 & unfortunately I'm just waiting & expecting anyday now I like the idea of a kit for the girls to carry with them.

 

[mjhd]

I agree w/buying the Care & Keeping of You...I think I read about it here on the dis. I let dd read it and we discussed some things. She started getting hair in all the embarassing places at around 7 so I thought we were going to have to worry about her starting soon after that. She is now 11 and still hasn't. Her ped said that periods usually coincide with breast development which hasn't progressed much yet. Crossing my fingers she has a couple more years!

Also wanted to say that I purchased a second American Girl book about emotions since dd was driving me crazy! I think it may have helped her a bit Highly recommend those books!

 

[disneyJMD]

I am hoping that I don't have to worry too much about this for a while...my DD is almost 7, but no signs of any development. I was 13 1/2, so hopefully she will follow in my footsteps! come to think of it, I got mine for the first time on the day me and my family were flying to WDW for New Years!

 

[matthew&haleysmom]

Not to be nosy, by any means, but.....what prompted the initial conversation? I'm the poster from above who's DD has asked nothing...which I know doesn't mean anything. I'm trying to determine the best way to "bring it up" and the best topic to start with. I mean, I've told her that her body will change as she gets older - that she'll get a chest like mommy...

DD plays softball with girls who are 10 & 11 years old. Many of the girls are developing and wearing bras and starting their periods. I am the team mom of the team, and the girls love sleepovers. At one of the sleepovers, the girls started talking about bras. Then they got different uniforms. Since they move to sleeveless shirts, all team members had to wear white sports bras. This is what initiated many of the "developing" questions.

When DD & I talk about "developing", it is usually for a few minutes with a few questions. Then, she thinks about what we talked about and the next day she has a few more questions. I always answer her questions truthfully and age appropriately.

DD believes that knowledge is her friend. This is one of her favorite sayings. She is naturally curious about everything!

The only time I had a hard time talking about how and why we "develop" was when I was teaching family life to 60 4th grade boys! Thank goodness for promotions!

 

[cheerforchelsea]

Poor baby --- 8 is so young to have to deal with that!! I was 12 and that was horrible. My youngest was also 12 when she started having a period....about 2 hours after she started she was asking for a hysterectomy!!

 

[lmillercrew]

That's way too young. I worked with a lady whose daughter started her period at 8 and her Dr put her on some kind of medicine to stop the periods. I was 11 when I got mine and my DD was 10 1/2.

 

[fairygoodmother]

You know, I'm one of those moms who is hoping my 11-yr-old dd starts SOON! We can hardly stand her right now...the moodswings, the constant tears... I tell her she's probably going to start her period any minute. We don't have any family history for reference. We adopted her last year.

My older dd started at age 11, the week before Christmas. She was the first of her friends to start.
I'll never forget her reaction- she burst into tears and sarcastically shouted "Merry Christmas to ME!!" So funny at the time....

 

[matthew&haleysmom]

So sorry, but I started laughing about the Merry Christmas to Me comment. That sounds just like my DD 8.

 

[Lisa_M]

I got it when I was 14. My younger sister was 11 (it was not remotely regular at all) and my youngest sister was 12, but she only got it once and it hasn't come back, she is 15. Interestingly, both have hypothyroidism and polycystic ovarian syndrome.

8 seems so very young to me, but I don't know if that is the norm now.