PSA Waiting room etiquette and cell phones

[npmommie]

No, it's not normal to carry on a conversation where others can overhear it. Just look at the OP...

well even talking in normal tones in certain situations people will hear you, but Loud is loud, and when I say this person was loud, even loud doesn't do it justice, it was beyond loud......LOL

On a planet where your personal preferences don't prevail over that of others.

Loud talking is loud talking, whether there is a cellphone involved or not. And regular conversation is regular conversation, also whether there is a cellphone involved or not.

I agree, and the loud talking would have been annoying had the person been right next to her and not on the phone,
but like I said, it was seriously beyond loud, and I wasn't the only one that commented on it.........
everyone did, some of us had to go outside it was that bad.
really , if there is a word to describe louder than loud this was it.
you really had to experience it to realize what I mean.
and i have been next to loud talkers and this was beyond that.
it was actually kind of bizarre.

 

[bicker]

So what you meant to do was put out a PSA to that one person, or perhaps all people, who speak so loud that it is "kind of bizarre".

Thanks for clearing that up.

 

[Patricia]

I, too, do not get annoyed or offended by people talking on a cell phone, provided it is at a normal level of volume. I do not see the difference between talking to someone else and talking on a cell phone. Both require social graces and should be used. As long as they are, I am fine with it.

 

[taximomfor4]

So what you meant to do was put out a PSA to that one person, or perhaps all people, who speak so loud that it is "kind of bizarre".

Thanks for clearing that up.

You forged such an amusing path through this discussion!

 

[npmommie]

Bicker, you always make me smile

 

[bicker]

You forged such an amusing path through this discussion!

The forging of consensus, starting from categorical intolerance to something that we all can agree on, often does have twists and turns.

 

[RachelEllen]

Cell phone conversations actually are more annoying than in person conversations. There have been studies showing that regardless of volume, people find cell conversations more annoying and more intrusive than two people talking. I don't think anyone knows the definative reason as to why, however, people will actually pay more attention to a conversation when they can only hear half of it. A theroy I like is that our brains are more attuned to in person conversations. Therefore, we can more easily tune them out. Hearing half of a conversation is more cognitively dissonant, so we keep being drawn back in.

Link to actual study: http://www.radford.edu/~jaspelme/201/cell phone articles/why_are_cell_phones_anoying.pdf

 

[kaytieeldr]

No, it's not normal to carry on a conversation where others can overhear it. Just look at the OP...

What about when someone is only carrying on half a conversation? Say, on a cruise ship balcony when the ship is docked in Key West (and nobody can get off the blankety-blank ship because two VERY self-centered families chose to ignore ALL directions, pages, even knocks on their respective room doors to go through Customs) and the person next door seems to be talking out loud to themselves? Is it acceptable - since you can hear but not see the person - to insinuate oneself to MAKE it a conversation instead of a monology?

 

[OceanAnnie]

I think people are annoyed for different reasons. I don't think it's a one size fits all thing.

To me, when I see a person having a conversation on a cell phone during a sales transaction it's rudeness that pertains specifically to cell phone use. It holds up other people. It holds up the cashier. It's just rude. I haven't seen people having incessant conversations with another individual standing beside them the entire time a sales transaction is taking place. But I have with cell phones quite a bit.

That's just one example.

 

[Planogirl]

DH often gets business calls and I've asked him to take those outside as much as possible. For some reason he thinks that he has to shout into the phone to be heard and it drives everyone crazy.

 

[bicker]

I don't think anyone knows the definative reason as to why

I think Mickey's Minion hit the nail on the head, earlier in the thread.

I can hear our tech support guy dealing with his personal business, from clear across the room. It's a challenge sometimes to tune it out.

 

[RachelEllen]

I think Mickey's Minion hit the nail on the head, earlier in the thread.

It's not really a reason, though, is it? That people are nosy? The study is really interesting. Irrespective of volume, irrespective of content, we are actually more annoyed by cell phone conversations than by normal conversation. If it were just being nosy, wouldn't we be less annoyed by boring conversation than by juicy conversation. Aren't most cell phone conversation incredibely banal?

It has nothing to do with our logical thoughts on manners. I would definitely agree that in any place that a conversation is not rude, a cell phone conversation is not rude. But, it might still be bothersome. The same way a crying baby in a pediatrician's office is bothersome. Totally appropriate, but gets one's attention and under one's skin for a real physiological reason.


I bring it up because I think it's interesting that there is something about how our brains are wired that actually accounts for conversation. When we hear half a conversation, we are somehow pulled in, in a way we are not with natural two way conversation.

 

[bicker]

It's not really a reason, though, is it? That people are nosy?

Oh yes -- I think it explains the inconsistency I highlighted very well. People are incurring the same amount of sound distraction -- the reason why they decide that one is more annoying than the other is that they find the fact that they only hear one half of the conversation more jarring. Why focus their ire on cellphones? Read on . . .

The study is really interesting. Irrespective of volume, irrespective of content, we are actually more annoyed by cell phone conversations than by normal conversation.

Okay, if they really want to normalize the study, they would have to compare it to people who are in a hotel lobby, perhaps, just hanging out perhaps waiting to leave for the airport, and see if they're annoyed by hearing half of a land line telephone conversation. I suspect you and I would agree that there would still be a difference. Why? There is nothing special about a cellphone in this regard, except that it is an artifact of society's progress, as compared to a land line. And I think that's really what's going on: that some portion of our society are essentially Luddite in perspective, and therefore seek opportunities to criticize progressive aspects of society.

 

[RachelEllen]

Oh yes -- I think it explains the inconsistency I highlighted very well. People are incurring the same amount of sound distraction -- the reason why they decide that one is more annoying than the other is that they find the fact that they only hear one half of the conversation more jarring. Why focus their ire on cellphones? Read on . . .

Okay, if they really want to normalize the study, they would have to compare it to people who are in a hotel lobby, perhaps, just hanging out perhaps waiting to leave for the airport, and see if they're annoyed by hearing half of a land line telephone conversation. I suspect you and I would agree that there would still be a difference. Why? There is nothing special about a cellphone in this regard, except that it is an artifact of society's progress, as compared to a land line. And I think that's really what's going on: that some portion of our society are essentially Luddite in perspective, and therefore seek opportunities to criticize progressive aspects of society.

But I don't think it is the sound distraction that is the issue. Think about elevator music. That is extremely easy to tune out. A conversation is more difficult. A "one-way" conversation is even more difficult. I disagree with the premise that people are "deciding" to be annoyed. Quite the opposite. I think many of decide /not/ to be annoyed. Because we realize that the person on the phone is not especially loud, not especially vulgar, not especially special. However, at some physicological level, it is still annoying!

Here's the better further study. Try a one way conversation between someone speaking and someone replying just in sign language. Take the technology totally out. My guess, and it is just a guess, is that the conversation would be just as annoying to the disinterested bystander. (I bet a billingual conversation would also be annoying. Goodness, that would be an interesting study)

 

[bicker]

My guess, and it is just a guess, is that the conversation would be just as annoying to the disinterested bystander.

Until the study is done, we'll have to agree to disagree. I think you cannot so readily dismiss the Luddite factor.

 

[RachelEllen]

Ok, here's what I could find. Conversations staged on a train under three conditions:
1) Cell phone
2) In person, both people audible
3) In person, one person not audible

Condition 3 was rated by bystanders as just as annoying as condition 1)

Here's a link to the abstract: http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/content~content=a713820212&db=all

Unfortunately, I can't get the whole study without paying. I don't really have time to do a good lit review, but the primary author is the same on both of these studies. I bet he has a fascinating body of work.

 

[bicker]

Intersting. I'll have to keep my eyes open for other studies. Regardless, I still contend that too many people are Luddites, and that drives them to complain about all manner artifacts of progress, whether it be cellphones, email (instead of US mail), Amazon.com (instead of local bookstores), etc.

 

[RachelEllen]

Intersting. I'll have to keep my eyes open for other studies. Regardless, I still contend that too many people are Luddites, and that drives them to complain about all manner artifacts of progress, whether it be cellphones, email (instead of US mail), Amazon.com (instead of local bookstores), etc.

I can't disagree with that. Although I do miss letters. But I can't disagree.

 

[npmommie]

IF you go back and read my OP, my annoyance was more the fact that the person was soooooo loud, yes shouting loud.........re-read my post.
it would have been equally annoying if the convo was in person.
it really had more to do with the loudness than the fact it was on a cell.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I don't think you really need a study for it. It boils down to manners or in this case lack thereof. It does seem like *some* cell phone users check out of the manners department. It is noticeable when there is a cell phone glued to one's ear, while ignoring social graces. At least for me.

Manners shouldn't go out of style.