PSA - Kids Birthday Party RSVP's

[Mkrop]

Ok then, just don't assume that someone that does not reply is being rude. I was NEVER allowed to go to a single party as a child, and I have no idea what my mom did with the invitation. So I am totally clueless when it comes to these things. I think I am glad though I have not really done the party thing - I think I would feel extremely awkward, especially knowing that there are all these things that I "should know" but don't, I really don't want those throwing the party to think I am being rude if I do something wrong.

I am not trying to be rude here but were you never invited to any party, not just kids parties, showers, weddings etc. How about your own wedding?

I would like to add to this PSA not only kids parties but christening, communion, and graduation parties, these to involve kids and being disappointed.

I also dont have money to order for more people than who are really coming, I dont have the space to store that many leftovers.

Also even RSVPing for Tupperware parties, Pampered Chef or whatever, requires the host to buy food and drink to serve you. I dont want to buy stuff I am not going to use, like say if I were to serve soda, I would buy reg, diet, and caffine free option. No one drinks diet here so I just spent money on something I dont need, yet would like to have on hand if guests were coming. Also it is a waste of the person selling the product (and no I dont nor have I ever sold stuff) time if no one can make. My friend just told me of one of these she was suppose to go to but it got cancelled bc only her and one other person could come, turns out it was a big night at one of the schools and the host didnt have kids so she didnt know she picked a bad night.

Just RSVP to anything, people are kind enough to invite you or your kids, if you cant go that is fine but let people know!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[dizzyami]

I am not trying to be rude here but were you never invited to any party, not just kids parties, showers, weddings etc. How about your own wedding?

I would like to add to this PSA not only kids parties but christening, communion, and graduation parties, these to involve kids and being disappointed.

I also dont have money to order for more people than who are really coming, I dont have the space to store that many leftovers.

Also even RSVPing for Tupperware parties, Pampered Chef or whatever, requires the host to buy food and drink to serve you. I dont want to buy stuff I am not going to use, like say if I were to serve soda, I would buy reg, diet, and caffine free option. No one drinks diet here so I just spent money on something I dont need, yet would like to have on hand if guests were coming. Also it is a waste of the person selling the product (and no I dont nor have I ever sold stuff) time if no one can make. My friend just told me of one of these she was suppose to go to but it got cancelled bc only her and one other person could come, turns out it was a big night at one of the schools and the host didnt have kids so she didnt know she picked a bad night.

Just RSVP to anything, people are kind enough to invite you or your kids, if you cant go that is fine but let people know!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess I am just weird. The only showers and such I have been invited to were for family members - so they usually new from casual conversation whether or not I would be able to attend. I was married in Vegas, and my family threw me a shower.

As a married adult we would usually host two major family parties/year - and never thought to ask for RSVP's - I guess I just never knew them growing up

 

[Ilovemylife]

I only RSVP if we are planning on attending.

If you don't hear from me, we won't be there.

 

[mjkacmom]

I usually don't respond to RSVP vents, but sometimes things just hit me the wrong way.

I always respond to RSVPs, but to be honest, if we have to respond too early, the answer will always be no. I would say 90% of the time the answer is no. My DD still goes to lots of parties, but she only goes when I have to respond a few days before the event, or there is no RSVP.

I understand that people SOMETIMES need a head count, but you don't need a head count for a cake and punch party. Nor do you need one for a Cake and punch shower, wedding or any other party that a definite head count isn't needed.

RSVPs have gotten so out of control, now people are even asking for them for Tupperware and other home shopping parties. Come on, I will go if I am free at the time, I am not rearranging my life for your Tupperware Party.

I stopped doing RSVPs for our parties years ago and to be honest, it makes your life alot less stressful. We had a pool party last summer for DD and invited 20. 11 showed up. I had food and goodie bags for 20. We took the leftovers home and had party food for dinner that night.

I am having a graduation Open House for DS in the spring. I will invite maybe 150 people. I would never dream to have people RSVP for the Open House. If you can make it, great, if you are busy, I understand. I will have food for 150 and we may have leftovers for a few days.

We had an Open house for my parents 50th Anniversary last year. Once again, if you could come, great. We had lots of people come that hadn't planned to come, but at the last minute they were able and it was wonderful to have them. If we would have had it an RSVP party, we would have missed out on their company because they would have responded NO.

I understand if you are having a party that you need an exact headcount. Like I said, I will probably answer no because we are usually booked with things we have to do and most times don't know until the last minute if we are available. I know most people we know are like that too. Especially in the busy entertaining seasons. Many people try to attend as many functions as they can, but if RSVPs are required, the answer will be no.

It is nice to know how many favors to buy, and food, even if you don't need a headcount. I always have parties out, so I do give an RSVP date, usually 3 days before the party. I have an extremely busy schedule, but even I can tell you 3 days in advance if my child can attend. I've had people RSVP the day before, saying they're coming, and I'm the one running out for an extra favor.

 

[ksjayhawks]

I only RSVP if we are planning on attending.

If you don't hear from me, we won't be there.

And as a hostess, I would know you weren't coming because ???

 

[luvmy3]

And as a hostess, I would know you weren't coming because ???

I know as a hostess, if I do not get an RSVP I always assume that the person isn't coming. I thought that everyone figures that. I have never once for any party had someone not RSVP and show up anyway. I have had more people RSVP that they were coming and then not even show up.

 

[SalandJeff]

I usually don't respond to RSVP vents, but sometimes things just hit me the wrong way.

I always respond to RSVPs, but to be honest, if we have to respond too early, the answer will always be no. I would say 90% of the time the answer is no. My DD still goes to lots of parties, but she only goes when I have to respond a few days before the event, or there is no RSVP.

I understand that people SOMETIMES need a head count, but you don't need a head count for a cake and punch party. Nor do you need one for a Cake and punch shower, wedding or any other party that a definite head count isn't needed.

RSVPs have gotten so out of control, now people are even asking for them for Tupperware and other home shopping parties. Come on, I will go if I am free at the time, I am not rearranging my life for your Tupperware Party.

I stopped doing RSVPs for our parties years ago and to be honest, it makes your life alot less stressful. We had a pool party last summer for DD and invited 20. 11 showed up. I had food and goodie bags for 20. We took the leftovers home and had party food for dinner that night.

I am having a graduation Open House for DS in the spring. I will invite maybe 150 people. I would never dream to have people RSVP for the Open House. If you can make it, great, if you are busy, I understand. I will have food for 150 and we may have leftovers for a few days.

We had an Open house for my parents 50th Anniversary last year. Once again, if you could come, great. We had lots of people come that hadn't planned to come, but at the last minute they were able and it was wonderful to have them. If we would have had it an RSVP party, we would have missed out on their company because they would have responded NO.

I understand if you are having a party that you need an exact headcount. Like I said, I will probably answer no because we are usually booked with things we have to do and most times don't know until the last minute if we are available. I know most people we know are like that too. Especially in the busy entertaining seasons. Many people try to attend as many functions as they can, but if RSVPs are required, the answer will be no.

I understand that things can come up at the last minute. But if someone is nice enough to invite your child to a birthday party with an RSVP date a week before, and your child is free and wants to go, I think you should be able to make that commitment and RSVP. It sounds as though you are always waiting to see if you get a better offer before deciding at the last minute whether you will attend.

 

[NEM]

I only RSVP if we are planning on attending.

If you don't hear from me, we won't be there.

OK..but the point is at what point do we assume you are not coming? If planning and prep are involved, then when do we determine that you are a "no" by your complete ingoring of the invite with a request for a "yes" or "no"?

 

[EMom]

OK..but the point is at what point do we assume you are not coming? If planning and prep are involved, then when do we determine that you are a "no" by your complete ingoring of the invite with a request for a "yes" or "no"?

Exactly....Since RSVP means....although not in these precise words, "Please answer yes or no," then not calling is not giving an RSVP. It is not answering. It is not a yes or a no. It is nothing. It is ignoring the request from the hostess for a yes or a no.

To say, "I only RSVP if we are attending" is to say "I only honor the request to reply with a yes or a no if we plan to attend. Otherwise, I ignore the request." That may not be what you intend to convey, but it is, given the meaning of RSVP. It all boils down to either not understanding the meaning of the term or not respecting the meaning of the term and in turn, the request of the hostess.

I'd prefer to hope people simply do not understand what it means. I always breathe a sigh of relief when someone joins in a thread like this and says, "I honestly never knew RSVP meant I was supposed to let them know I wasn't coming. From now on, I'll call." And it's admirable that someone would want to do the correct, polite thing from now on, once they understand the meaning of the term.

 

[JennaTX]

This drives me crazy. My DS's birthday party is tomorrow, he is in K and gave all 21 classmates an invitation, I heard from 4 kids out of 21.

IMO it takes much less effort to pick up the phone and RSVP then to write out the invitation, buy stamps and mail them.

 

[ksumn1]

My issue is that of the last 3 bday parties DD has been 2, I was only able to get in touch with 2 of the parents to RSVP. Only phone #'s were provided and every time I called, no answer, no voicemail or answering machine.
I'm sure 99% of people use a good contact # on invites (home phone w/answering machine, or cell phone w/voice mail) but if you put a RSVP # down, please make sure you either answer it or give an alternate #. I tried calling at a variety of times (morning, lunch and several times early evening or weekends) with no luck.

It's also very hard to keep up with. DD will stuff them in the deep, dark recesses of her bookbag and often pulls them out the day you need to RSVP by!!! It also seems as if every child has a party on the 1st Saturday of the month. For November, my DD recieved 5 invites for the same day and same time. It's hard to decide, especially when you know that other classmates that your child is closer to or better friends with has a bday soon and you haven't recieved an invite yet. (But has been told it's coming soon) I don't want to reply yes and then DD be upset because she can't go to S's party because she RSVP'd to M's. It would be horrible manners so I often wait until just before the reply date to make sure nothing else comes up. With 2 kids in school, playing sports, work and a DH who's out of town 4 days a week, it's sometimes impossible to plan something 3 weeks in advance.

Would you rather a Yes reply that turns to a No ofter you've paid a deposit etc or a last minute (on the RSVP date) definate response?

 

[EMom]

If they're all in the same class, then I don't know what the moms are thinking. In preschool, DD and a classmate had birthdays one day apart and that mom and I always coordinated parties so as to avoid the issue of making kids choose which party to attend. I've always checked with DD's teacher at least one month in advance to see if anyone had a birthday within 2 weeks of DD. If they did, I'd call that mom and coordinate parties with her so we did not have parties on the same day. It's just common sense. Otherwise, kids have to choose which party to attend and both birthday children wind up being disappointed by no-shows.

It's hard to give an answer to your question. If someone accepts an invitation, I'd expect them to keep it. But in your shoes, if DD had gotten a few invitations, but was still waiting for an invitation to appear from a very dear friend whose party was that same weekend, I think I'd call up that mom and say, "DD has been invited to a couple of other parties that day, but we haven't RSVPed yet. DD seems to think your child's party may be that very same day and her first choice would be to go to your child's party. Have you settled on a time yet?" If they hem-haw, then go ahead and accept another invitation. Or maybe they'll realize they should have gotten invitations out sooner, that their child may not have many people accept the invitation at such a late date, and they may decide to reschedule the party rather than be 1 of 5 parties that day.

 

[SalandJeff]

...It's hard to give an answer to your question. If someone accepts an invitation, I'd expect them to keep it. But in your shoes, if DD had gotten a few invitations, but was still waiting for an invitation to appear from a very dear friend whose party was that same weekend, I think I'd call up that mom and say, "DD has been invited to a couple of other parties that day, but we haven't RSVPed yet. DD seems to think your child's party may be that very same day and her first choice would be to go to your child's party. Have you settled on a time yet?" If they hem-haw, then go ahead and accept another invitation. Or maybe they'll realize they should have gotten invitations out sooner, that their child may not have many people accept the invitation at such a late date, and they may decide to reschedule the party rather than be 1 of 5 parties that day.

This is a good solution when you're waiting for a special invitation.