PSA: Declutter your house

[disykat]

The piano thing is real and I have to laugh. My mother was a musician and piano teacher. In my childhood home's remodeled garage turned music room we had two pianos (managed to find homes for both) AND a no longer functioning electronic church organ. NOT a little, popular in the 70's, "organ" with rhythm settings etc., a full on church organ with a two ranks of keys and a pedal board for a organist. It was old and simply not repairable (we had researched it years before when my mom was still playing and had connections) but no one wanted to get rid of it because it just seemed like heresy to smash it and dump it.

My mother has asked about her pianos many times over the years, but somehow has never asked about her organ. Maybe, even her dementia, she remembers it wasn't functional.

(I guess this post gives away any anonymity I had if anyone who knows me sees this! I'd guess this isn't a common issue.)

 

[focusondisney]

We resorted to pitching things out the windows into several dumpsters.NEVER AGAIN.

Oh my gosh! I said for years we were going to do exactly that at my parents. Unfortunately 2 of my sisters insisted on going thru everything themselves because the rest of us would have pitched almost all of it. It took over 18 months but the junk is pretty much gone.

There’s a piano at my parents house too. It was left there when they bought the house 60 years ago. It’s a converted roller piano…all the roller stuff is gone & it was painted an awful brown color. It’s in the enclosed porch. We never knew how it got in that room, we always assumed the porch was enclosed around it, since there’s absolutely no way it got in the doorway. We’ll be leaving it when we eventually sell the house.

 

[kymom99]

My mom died in 2010. We bought the house from her estate. We inherited a lot of “stuff” as my siblings and I got tired of clearing things out. We have since built a new home. It took months to finally clear everything out of the old house. Between our stuff and my parents left overs, it was just overwhelming. We finally hired someone to get the last of it out and dispose of it.

I’m going to add another PSA to this original one: make sure your deeds are all clear and easy to sell before the time comes.

My parents had agreed to give a small corner of their extra lot to the neighbor. The guy had it surveyed and never had a deed made or filed. My parents died and we had no knowledge of this. Over time the guy built a patio and other such things on the land. I bought what was filed at the county courthouse, which included all of the original lot. Some years later when GIS maps became more accessible, we were questioning why there was this patio on our property. That’s when we learned the idiot had no clear title to that property. In the mean time we now had a lien on it. I was willing to honor my parents’ wishes but had to get a partial lien release to do so. It was such a headache. I would be more charitable about the whole thing but the guy is an a$$.

 

[barkley]

We’ll be leaving it when we eventually sell the house.

make sure it's written into the contract-a neighbor left one and the new owner went back against them financily to hire someone to remove it and dispose of it (must have been costly b/c the priors opted to travel across state, rent a uhaul and deal with it themselves).

 

[Babs Johnson]

My parents only had a “normal” amount of possessions, old paperwork, etc. Nothing excessive. But it was STILL a hassle to go through it all after my father died and my mother moved into a senior apartment.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Extra to all. I pared down a ton at the start of the pandemic which felt so freeing indeed. I re-made scrapbooks with pictures, cards, and other items that still (and likely will long term) bring me joy and a positive memory to look back on. Everything else, I let go! I recently did a huge stationary supply donation as well to church and also to a friend who volunteers for a cancer organization that spreads faith and encouragement through the mail. I have come to recognize that if I am not actively using something or going to be donating or gifting it to someone (Dad and I have a couple donation bags he will drop off next week) very soon than it has become stuff. Not bringing me or anyone else any joy. And based on my strong faith it's also not serving God in anyway by gathering dust. I can be sentimental about some things but have definitely experienced the positive of not holding onto everything. Wishing each of you a good evening.

 

[Brian Noble]

it just seemed like heresy to smash it and dump it.

This can be a lot of fun for the kids when the time comes.

 

[focusondisney]

make sure it's written into the contract-a neighbor left one and the new owner went back against them financily to hire someone to remove it and dispose of it (must have been costly b/c the priors opted to travel across state, rent a uhaul and deal with it themselves).

Thanks, that’s good to know. It was left when my parents moved in, but that was 60 years ago, I guess things have changed a lot since then. My siblings plan to leave that & 1 of the hutches if we can’t figure out how to get them out.

 

[Lumpy1106]

< member of the "my DM has a piano she can't get rid of" club (woot!) She has a China hutch too and DSiL wanted it - but DM wouldn't part with it. Now DSiL doesn't have room for it and DM can't get rid of it. Saw that coming.
Please tell me someone has some funny stories about things they've discovered during this process.

 

[Rogue1677x]

Me and my sisters had to go through this not after a death of a parent, but a near catastrophic injury of our father.

He was living with our stepmother in an apartment on the 2nd floor at the time and was bringing their dog in from a walk. He got to the top of the stairs, lost his balance and fell to the bottom, fracturing his skull in 4 areas. He survived, thankfully, but mentally has only recovered about 75% and the rest of his personality is that of a 5 year old.

When he was recovering, we had to help my stepmother, who has some significant disabilities of her own, find a new place to live, down size their possessions and all that. It was no easy task for her and there were things that she refused to get rid of but couldn't fit in the new, smaller apartment. Those things are at my house and only because they are sentimental items (photo albums, loose photos, etc).

 

[scrump]

My parents have passed. I just spent 3 full days working with my siblings pulling truckload after truckload of stuff (junk, really) from my parents' stifling, dusty, cruddy, hot attic and dirty, slimy crawl space. At least 90% of it was junk that my parents couldn't bear to part with for some reason, or had sat there for so long that it had deteriorated and had to be thrown away.

The thing I came away with (other than truckload after truckload of junk) is that DW and I can't do this to our kids! No one likes to declutter, but man is it tough on those you leave behind.

My dad passed two years ago, and I cleared out his apartment. I couldn't read through all the replies posted (just still too real), but what I did catch was exactly what I went through, and the experience was a true burden that I do NOT want to do to my kids.

OP, I am sorry for your parents passing.

 

[barkley]

Please tell me someone has some funny stories about things they've discovered during this process.

as we went through closets and drawers and boxes trying to find paperwork i came across an old christmas decoration (that dh swears he had never seen in his life)-a wooden sled about 20 inches tall. i immediatly yelled 'honey it's ROSEBUD' it gave us a good laugh and it was one of the only useless items we opted to bring home-rosebud hangs on a wall in our garage as a constant reminder to purge, purge, purge the useless clutter.

 

[Owlpost23]

My mom learned after a few times of the basement (the lowest part which is the part that gets flooded is unfinished) being flooded or sewer backups (mostly due to tree roots in the clay pipes from out by the street) to 1) not store things too much on the floor 2) put things in tubs. Any actual item that could (like not counting the exercise bike or the large spare piece of carpet on one side) be stored in a tub that was on the ground was.

But if your basement is finished there's only so much of the above that can realistically apply

It was the subbasement,so unfinished.The plastic totes? Still with the lids on and filled with water.So depressing

 

[dvcgirl67]

We have the "piano thing" too. Nearly 93 year old FIL has been obsessed with who is going to take various "family heirlooms". But the biggie, the white lacquer wall piano. In my nearly 30 years in the family, not a single person has ever touched the piano, including DH who was the piano player in the family.

This started right after MIL died, and every time we were around him, he'd obsess over the piano and who in the family would take it. Nobody wanted it and it just went on and on. Finally our nephew (his grandson) said he'd take it when it was agreed that he didn't have to take it until he passed. He'd been after us to take it....but now, and we truly don't want it or have the room and didn't feel right telling him we'd take it and then donate it....etc. So, we're glad at least the piano talk is off the table....now he's on to MIL's Hummel collection, which again....nobody wants.

We won't have to deal with dust or clutter, as the in-laws have always been neat. We'll just stand aside and let everyone and anyone take what they want, try and donate the rest and have a dumpster at the ready.

 

[lovesmurfs]

another item none of the thrift or charity stores will take here (says so on their websites). no schools or churches want them as donations so we counted ourselves lucky when a friend said he would take the one we needed to rid ourselves of.

Same. We had DMIL's piano from when their family was growing up (she's 92) -- lots and lots of sentiment there. I knew we were moving to Florida and that the piano was NOT going with us. Fortunately, our nephew and his wife in Louisville wanted it, so we paid an extraordinary amount for piano movers to take it down there, but it was SUCH a good feeling to get it gone without guilt!!!

 

[gmi3804]

We bought a Steinway Grand in '94 (new, $35,000) and intended to keep it forever. Flash forward to 2021 when we downsized from our house and had no room in the new condo for it. Even though it was perfectly and expertly maintained, tuned, and serviced through the years, Steinway had no room for it in their inventory of "gently used" pianos, which could've fetched us $30,000, and selling it on the open market proved to be a dead-end. Fortunately, the people who bought our house also bought much of our furniture and the piano. I'd put $20,000 as the line item for what I wanted for the piano, and they agreed. So I didn't even have to have it moved, and was satisfied with what I got out of it after 27 years.

 

[focusondisney]

Jeez, who would have thought there were so many pianos being passed along.

 

[gmi3804]

Jeez, who would have thought there were so many pianos being passed along.

No one seems to want them anymore. We live near Northwestern U, and considered donating it and taking the tax deduction, but they didn't want/need it. And we'd have to pay to have it picked up, delivered, and set up. Thousands of dollars.

 

[kymom99]

I can feel this. It's like holding on to the last physical piece of them. When my Grandma died I was 13. We drive the long distance and my aunt had removed most from the house (it had only been a couple days). I was very close to her and I grabbed a set of her dishes (from Japan) and here I am 50+ years later not wanting to let them go because I didn't want to let her go. Bright yellow with roosters so only the collectors want, not my kids. So this year I kept a few pieces for my porch and then started selling piece by piece. I want someone to really want them! And they are selling. And I am content with it. If you don't want and they are not throwaway stuff - sell or donate, let someone else enjoy them! Let their adventure continue.

We had a garage sale after my mom passed. It was comforting telling the buyers that mom used that bowl to make her potato salad, etc. people loved hearing our stories. there was so much we couldn’t absorb it all, but it was useful stuff.

 

[gmi3804]

OK, a funny story:

My parents had a life-sized toddler doll (they named her Betsy) that creeped us all out and was to be kept against the wall facing a corner, called "Time Out." For some reason they loved it, and would't get rid of it. When dad passed away last year, we were all clearing out his place, and of course Betsy got tossed on the garbage pile. Well, I snuck over and took her back, put her in a closet in another room, and just waited for my sister's scream. She didn't disappoint!