Proud Mom moment.....but worst parent moment.

[MELISAZACK]

Okay I have to tell someone and we can't tell DS 10..so you guys are my outlet. We found out this morning that my DS will be receiving the Presidental Award in Education on monday at school. (5th grade)
A great achievement for him with the ADHD and SID he deals with and school was a real struggle for a while in the past years.
So we are so excitied for him and he has NO clue he is getting it..

Now the sad part... My DH and I are leaving for Vegas on Sunday!!!
I am so upset we won't be there to see him get this award....My mom and dad are going in our place so at least his grandparents will be there to bask in his glory..

I have to try and teach my mom how to use our video equipment so we can see his face when he finds out.

I am happy and sad at the same time... Thanks Dis family for letting us share out news with you.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Congratulations to your DS. That's a wonderful accomplishment.

But is there anyway to postpone your flight to Monday evening? I always think along the lines of ... is my not being there going to stick with my child? Yes, can you tell I'm the working parent and carry an obscene amount of guilt?!!

 

[MELISAZACK]

Actually our flight is 8am Sunday morning.. so no way to postpone.
I would if I could, because he really struggled through school over the years and this year was his all time best in grades and feeling better about it.

I am calling in the calvery though asking all relatives possible to go if they can...

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I've had to miss a few things like this due to work...
If at all possible, have him call you AS SOON as he gets back to grandma and grandpa so he can tell you all about it....

 

[Hoodie]

Congratulations!!

Get a nice card for your son, maybe one of those ones that can record a message, and let him know how proud you are of him and how sad you couldn't be there for it. And maybe offer a trip to McDonald's or another treat when you get home so you can all celebrate. And call him right after.

I think my dad missed every award and dance recital I ever had due to work. He hated it and I hated it, but he always found a way to make it special anyway.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

I saw James Carville speak a few weeks ago. The speaking event was in Chicago, the same night of his daughter's 8th grade graduation in Louisiana. She was very upset he was going to miss it. Carville had President Clinton call her and congratulate her. Her mother had President George H. W. Bush call her and congratulate her. But in her mind, congratulations calls from two Presidents paled in comparison to her dad being there.

Missing this event won't scar your child for life, but it will hurt. Make sure you do everything you can to make it special. Perhaps you can train grandma on the use of the video camera by having her practice -- have her record a special congratulations message from mom and dad.

Congrats to your child!

 

[MELISAZACK]

If we would of known he was even in the running a mont ago I would of put this trip off, but we didn't find out till last night and didn't know what the award was until I called the school this morning and begged to know..lol...

I know he will be hurt a little and will survive and move on we just feel bad.

thanks for everyones congrats and support.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

If we would of known he was even in the running a mont ago I would of put this trip off, but we didn't find out till last night and didn't know what the award was until I called the school this morning and begged to know..lol...

I know he will be hurt a little and will survive and move on we just feel bad.

thanks for everyones congrats and support.

I think the recorded card sounds great!!
Let him know that he can be the 'movie player' and show you the award presentation that grandma records when ya'll get back. Tell him how excited and happy for him you are... Really, you'll feel worse than him.. Next yr he wont' even remember you werent' there

Congrats

 

[swald91]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!
(Our daughter received the Presidential Award for Excellence last year when she graduated from 6th grade-what an honor for them & you!!)
Can someone record the ceremony for you? That way you always have it & can share the experience when all together?

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Congratulations to your son My DH travels quite a bit for work and has missed some "moments" in all of our kids lives. I know it hurts the kids but they are resilient and bounce back. Your son is lucky to have extended family to help him celebrate his accomplishment. (just be sure to bring him back something EXTRA special)

We do the best we can as parents and sometimes it may not seem like enough.

 

[Avalon_toon]

Congrats to your son, what an honor!

Is there really no way you can reschedule? That seems like a once in a lifetime memory, how can Vegas compete?

 

[LMN]

I think it is sad that you are ok with not being there to share this moment with your child. Is there not anyway you can wait to leave until after the event? Sure, he will get over it and go on, but how sad is that that he would have to?

 

[JoBird]

Is there anyway a family member who is going to be in attendance could call you on their cell phone, just as the award ceremony is happening-? They don't have to say anything to you, but you could hear what was being announced, so while you might not be able to see what is going on, you'll be able to hear it live as his name is announced.

Then as soon as it's over, your DS can talk to you about it- and then at least he knows you were "sort of" in attendance.

WE do this with my mom when it's a big thing going on with one of my kids, so that she can be a part of the celebration, even though she is more than 1,000 miles away.

Just an idea.

Jo

PS- Congats to your son!

 

[LisaNJ25]

Dont beat yourself up for it or let anyone make you feel guilty. Plenty of parents miss school activities for various reasons.

I love the idea of the recorded card.. have your family tape and call him after school.

 

[esbrick]

You know what? You are probably one of those terrible parents who is at every parent teacher meeting, every dr's appointment, every time there is a good grade on a test you are probably one of "those" parents who even cheers him on and gets special treats! Don't sell yourself short here! I may get flamed here but I'm gonna say it's OK! Feel guilty, that's normal, but you are NOT a bad parent, you are the victim of bad timing

Make sure to show Grandma how to used the video recorder and definitely have him call right after he receives the award and make it the FIRST priority, even before you bring the luggage into the house, when you see him to watch it with him when you get home. Ask Grandma to have it ready to stick in the computer! See if you can have a sign made up at Kinkos that your parents can hang in front of your house saying congratulations! I love the talking card! I received one for mother's day from DSD and I still listen to it! When you get back make sure it is on the refrigerator for a while! But for goodness sakes give your self a break. You are not a bad parent at all, if you didn't care that would be one thing but you do so you’re not bad again you and your family are victims of bad timing! Hey, when he's valedictorian you will be there!

Have fun in Vegas and play a slot for him and give him the winnings from that pull! Make it a good one!

 

[smschex]

I am certainly not technically savvy enough to do this, but any chance of a webcam hook-up? Then you could come as close to being in two places at once as possible!

 

[SplashMtnCrew]

I intend no guilt towards anyone but there is NO way I would miss such an important event in my DS's life, especially after seeing all the hard work and struggles he's overcome to be chosen for such an award. But that's just how it would be for me, nothing negative to you OP
Congrats to your DS and you for all the hard work and effort you've all put in

 

[TwingleMum]

Good for your son what an achievement! Congrats to you also for all your hard work.

 

[onelilspark]

Alright...my parents missed things when I was growing up. I'm 24 now. I know they missed things, I can't tell you what those things were. Because every chance they got, they told me they were proud of me, etc. Sometimes you just can't be in two places at once. The fact you're calling in relatives to be there for him is a good thing, it won't go unnoticed. The card idea is fabulous (my parents used to have flowers waiting for me.)

I'm fully functional and have a wonderful relationship with my parents. Missing a few things isn't going to scar your children for the rest of their lives. Actually, I think it helped me become more independent than my peers.

So go to Vegas, feel a little guilty if you want (but not too much!,) be proud of your son, make sure he knows it.


...getting off my soapbox now.

 

[daisyyy]

I agree with PP "esbrick" You can't be everywhere for everyone everytime... He will be excited, and I'm sure he will not be scarred for life. He'll just be anxious to share it with you upon your return.! (Especially if you win a big jack pot). In any case... you can always tell him you were un aware of it, but you're proud. Congratuations!.... AND by the way... I see you are from PA... my daughter, also in 5th grade is receiving the same award on Monday at her school.... Wouldn't it be something if they are in the same school??? Does he go to Edgewood?