Proof Iraq Was Hiding Weapons of Math Instruction
4/15/2003 - Marni Malarkey
President Bush announced to the nation this afternoon that US Marines outside Baghdad have found "powerful and overwhelming" evidence of WMDs. "This is certainly proof to all who doubted the United States that our suspicions about Saddam and his regime were well-founded."
The president refused to go into detail about the discovery, saying that more information "would only upset the American people" as the discovery was "particularly disturbing." Sources close to Broken Newz however, revealed that the Marines stormed Baghdad University's "Baghdad Hills" suburban campus, which includes the mathematics and electrical engineering departments, and found, in Professor Ali-Hassan Al-Amscareduvsadam's office "seemingly endless supplies of WMDs." Al-Amscareduvsadam was taken into custody by the Marines, who then, wearing gas masks and chemical suits, returned to his office and packed up his boxes and drums of "rulers, protractors and calculators. Clear cut evidence of weapons of math instruction. Citizens of the world can sleep a little safer tonight."
4/15/2003 - Marni Malarkey
President Bush announced to the nation this afternoon that US Marines outside Baghdad have found "powerful and overwhelming" evidence of WMDs. "This is certainly proof to all who doubted the United States that our suspicions about Saddam and his regime were well-founded."
The president refused to go into detail about the discovery, saying that more information "would only upset the American people" as the discovery was "particularly disturbing." Sources close to Broken Newz however, revealed that the Marines stormed Baghdad University's "Baghdad Hills" suburban campus, which includes the mathematics and electrical engineering departments, and found, in Professor Ali-Hassan Al-Amscareduvsadam's office "seemingly endless supplies of WMDs." Al-Amscareduvsadam was taken into custody by the Marines, who then, wearing gas masks and chemical suits, returned to his office and packed up his boxes and drums of "rulers, protractors and calculators. Clear cut evidence of weapons of math instruction. Citizens of the world can sleep a little safer tonight."
