Promposals....

[mi*vida*loca]

I've seen some promposal denials on social media. They usually go viral pretty quickly.

 

[Praying Colonel]

I think they're lame, but I wasn't big on HS dances. I went to 1 homecoming dance and 1 prom, with a friend of mine whose boyfriend broke up with her a couple of weeks before the event.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

Agreed! I am so sick to death of everything having to be a public spectacle. Is there any "rights of passage" that aren't now a competition of who can "do it bigger and better"? Between the promposals, marriage proposals, huge bridal showers, weddings spectacles, baby announcements followed up by gender reveals and the over the top baby showers, blowout first birthday parties attended by 100 people, etc., I am just so so so so over it all.

I'm with you! I couldn't have said it better. I know it's different depending on where you live. HERE, its huge and about who can get the most attention.

 

[DawnM]

My friend's son did one.

Here is it:

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/boy...ll-prom-proposal-girlfriend/story?id=46104461

I thought it was very creative.

 

[OhioStateBuckeye]

It's just a construct of social media. No one would do these if there wasn't a social media to post it to so people could see how cool/clever/whatever you are.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'm glad that I grew up when I did and not now.

 

[dish rag]

Do these seem like the most ridiculous things to anyone else?

Yes. A generation of attention seekers.

 

[kimblebee]

If they are boyfriend/girlfriend already, isn't it assumed they'll go together? Why does there need to be any discussion beyond 'hey, should I get the tickets or will you'?

Oh, right. You have to make a special event 'special-er'.

 

[sam_gordon]

Oh, right. You have to make a special event 'special-er'.

And how many times do we see on this board "We're taking our kids to Disney, how can we make the trip extra magical special"? Where are all of you telling those posters they're attention seeking? What about those who do trip reports, complete with pictures, itineraries, etc? I guess that's attention seeking also. After all, they're posting on social media.

DD's ex BF brought her a huge stuffed bear and wrote a poem to ask her to prom. It wasn't recorded or streamed. I guess that was attention seeking? The next year DD got a pizza and wrote "Prom?" inside the box lid. That poor attention seeking girl.

How many of you have had your teen say "I didn't want to go with the guy/girl, but they made such a big production out of the question, I felt bad saying no"?

If the kids want to do a promposal, fine. If they don't, fine. If you don't want to see it on social media, here's an idea... DON'T LOOK!

Much ado about nothing.

 

[DawnM]

Eh, some people are more romantic than others. It is nice sometimes to feel that you are loved and special. I agree if it turns more into "all about me and the great ideas I have" than about the actual person they are asking, it loses its appeal, but getting some roses "just because" or a "let me take you out to dinner just because" every now and then, is wonderful.

My husband.....NOT romantic. I have to tell him what to get me. Now, to be fair, I also hate surprises, so it works for us. But an occasional, "let me go pick up dinner" is still nice.

I remember when I did date a guy who needed attention......he was an actor.....I didn't really like all the attention we would get when we were out (that he would create, and loved). We obviously weren't meant for each other. I still care about him greatly, but not romantically.

 

[Hikergirl]

If they are boyfriend/girlfriend already, isn't it assumed they'll go together? Why does there need to be any discussion beyond 'hey, should I get the tickets or will you'?

Oh, right. You have to make a special event 'special-er'.

For some kids yes they want it to be more special. There isn't always something wrong with that. Does that mean they have to do some crazy promposal that involves tons of other people to witness and post it in social media? No, but since that is what people hear about then of course all promposals are that way right?

My dd knew she would be going to her bf's prom, but he still showed up with some sign he made to ask her. It was cute, she hugged and kissed him and that was that.
There was no audience, no posting any videos of it. The sign is in her room, and she said she is going to keep it forever. Why because she's in love and that kind of sappy crap matters to her right now.

Of all the things our teens could be in to doing, promposals are not even near the bottom of the worst things that I can think of.

 

[cabanafrau]

If they are boyfriend/girlfriend already, isn't it assumed they'll go together? Why does there need to be any discussion beyond 'hey, should I get the tickets or will you'?
Oh, right. You have to make a special event 'special-er'.

Yep, that's right. Nothing in life should be made any more enjoyable for any reason not deemed appropriate by the thought police.

We need to think of the children and wipe out this plague of kids arming themselves with their poster boards and their markers, or heaven help us, their chipotle bowls, to do anything visible to the naked eye as a prom invite. It must be conducted strictly matter of fact, with no visible or tangible indications. In short they should prepare themselves for a lifetime of behaving as middle age married folk surely ought to, nothing that could be construed as special, certainly nothing to be interpreted as fun. Let's just put a stop to prom and high school dances altogether. They're not necessary after all.

Maybe they could instead don coveralls in lovely shades of gray or putty and have a grand old time cleaning out the garage or do some preliminary work on drafting their wills or investigating life insurance policies, something productive instead of wearing all these inappropriate clothes and gyrating around to this noise they call music!

All promposals aren't pricey, social media events. I still don't see why so many are determined to clutch their pearls to dust over a bunch of kids they probably don't know having fun in a way that isn't hurting anyone? Why does how a person invites another person to a high school dance offend people who have nothing to do with it? How is it your business? Kids you don't know, invite you never see or hear about, invites most people who know the people involved don't see or hear about, how are you or anyone else even so much as inconvenienced?

Seriously, I've read many, many posts on this site over the years from ADULTS looking to find a way to spend over their heads for yet another Disney vacation they cannot afford, parents looking for ways to arm twist their mate and most or all of their children to vacation at Disney yet again even though the rest of the family is begging to go elsewhere. Those are greeted with support and helpful tips to achieve that all important Disney trips.

Kids inviting kids to prom in a way that doesn't suggest they're middle aged and ready to celebrate 30 years of marriage? Pull out the pitchforks, 'cuz those snowflakes must be stopped at all cost. Heaven knows Walt Disney himself was against anything even the slightest bit fun.

 

[Adelle Dazeem]

My friend's son did one.

Here is it:

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/boy...ll-prom-proposal-girlfriend/story?id=46104461

I thought it was very creative.

I do think this is very creative, but the girl's tweet of "But did your prom date run 5.5 miles to ask you" along with the picture is typical of the over the top competitiveness of "My promposal is better than yours" mentality that I find so distasteful.

 

[Adelle Dazeem]

And how many times do we see on this board "We're taking our kids to Disney, how can we make the trip extra magical special"? Where are all of you telling those posters they're attention seeking? What about those who do trip reports, complete with pictures, itineraries, etc? I guess that's attention seeking also. After all, they're posting on social media.

FWIW, I do roll my eyes at these posts too. A trip to WDW isn't special enough? A Disney Cruise just isn't "enough"? It has to be better! The trip reveals - who can be more over the top creative to get the best YouTube worthy reaction so they can get their 15 minutes of internet fame, etc. BARF.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

If they are boyfriend/girlfriend already, isn't it assumed they'll go together? Why does there need to be any discussion beyond 'hey, should I get the tickets or will you'?

Oh, right. You have to make a special event 'special-er'.

Why would anyone care? Teen years are stressful and most of them are working their butts off in school trying to get into a good college or university. Then you add in sports, part time jobs or whatever. If doing a promposal brings happiness and fun to a kid's stressful life, so be it. None of my kids did them but my daughter, who already had a boyfriend, would come home and tell me funny stories of the promposals of her friends. She even helped set up a few. It's all in good fun. Do some kids take it too far? Well, some people take everything too far. Oh kids these days!

 

[luvsJack]

I do think this is very creative, but the girl's tweet of "But did your prom date run 5.5 miles to ask you" along with the picture is typical of the over the top competitiveness of "My promposal is better than yours" mentality that I find so distasteful.

That may be your opinion of the tweet but I would bet its not what she meant at all. Why are we all so quick to assume the worst? Growing up, being a kid or teenager is not a competition. What he did made HER happy. That is all he was trying to do. Its not about is one promposal better than another. Its what makes it special to THAT girl or boy. One can't really be better than another because its not going to mean the same to other people.

 

[luvsJack]

If they are boyfriend/girlfriend already, isn't it assumed they'll go together? Why does there need to be any discussion beyond 'hey, should I get the tickets or will you'?

Oh, right. You have to make a special event 'special-er'.

Because a $600 dress is a bit much just going on an assumption that you are going together. Besides why should a hs bf or gf take the other for granted and just assume they are going together?

 

[NotUrsula]

Because a $600 dress is a bit much just going on an assumption that you are going together. Besides why should a hs bf or gf take the other for granted and just assume they are going together?

I agree that it is the kiss of death to take a relationship (and what is for that age group a major event) for granted. But then there's that $600 dress. On no planet will any child of mine spend $600 (or even half that!) on a dress to wear to a high school dance. The absurdity abounds.

I happen to live near an iconic local establishment that draws prom kids like flies to honey. We get a great kick out of strolling over there on prom nights to people-watch -- they arrive by the busload. One of the most common sights that I see there is a young lady dressed in a gown that wouldn't be out of place on a red-carpet, accompanied by her sneaker-wearing, jeans-clad date. Young grasshoppers often have much to learn about mutual respect and how to dress for such occasions; both over and under.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

I had a boyfriend for both of the proms I went to. I just told both of them (er,I didn't have two boyfriends, this is two separate years) what color my dress was going to be so they could match their cummerbunds and that was it. It didn't occur to us to take other people. That would have been weird.

 

[Adelle Dazeem]

That may be your opinion of the tweet but I would bet its not what she meant at all. Why are we all so quick to assume the worst? Growing up, being a kid or teenager is not a competition. What he did made HER happy. That is all he was trying to do. Its not about is one promposal better than another. Its what makes it special to THAT girl or boy. One can't really be better than another because its not going to mean the same to other people.

I find it interesting that you criticize me for making an assumption of the intention of the tweet and of the promposal and you do the same thing - just in the opposite direction. If what he did simply made her happy - wouldn't she have said so? Why did it have to be "But did your prom date run 5.5 miles to ask you" MAKES it a competition as if someone who doesn't make such a gesture is inferior. "Yes, your boyfriend may have spelled out "prom" on a pizza, but did he care enough? are you special enough? are you desirable enough? to warrant running over FIVE MILES???"