Prom is cancelled in Whitby, ON. It’s like Coronavirus part 2.

[hardcorestitch]

They only have prom in grade 12 in Ontario so to have this cancelled is very sad.

I wonder if they have music/athletic banquets in Durham schools. These are nights of dressing up to go to a banquet hall for dinner/dancing, almost like a prom IMO.

But not everyone is associated with such groups. This is broad and open to everyone… even those who are super shy and want an opportunity to hang out with others.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Our proms were always held offsite unless that site couldn't be secured. That almost happened to my senior prom when a place we wanted (the NFL stadium) was said to be secured a year prior but was then given to a more wealthier school in the area. The prom then might have been held in the gym like Homecoming and WPA was however we ended up being able to have it at the country club we had the junior prom at.

Prom was also funded by students via the student council same as homecoming was.

 

[Disneylover99]

But not everyone is associated with such groups. This is broad and open to everyone… even those who are super shy and want an opportunity to hang out with others.

Yes. I know. I’m not saying group specific banquets are a good substitution for proms.

I’m just wondering if they have group specific banquets. If they do have them or will continue to have them, what would be the difference in liability compared to prom? Yes there are committees, but staff are still on hand for organization and supervision of events.

 

[NAB]

They only have prom in grade 12 in Ontario so to have this cancelled is very sad.

I wonder if they have music/athletic banquets in Durham schools. These are nights of dressing up to go to a banquet hall for dinner/dancing, almost like a prom IMO.

I know they have an athletic banquet or used to at my son’s school a few years ago. This is done in the gym as well.

Around here they also have a grade 8 prom at the school in the gym.

The last few years they have the grade 12 prom at different venues because it was getting expensive. For years it was at the same place.

 

[hardcorestitch]

I know they have an athletic banquet or used to at my son’s school a few years ago. This is done in the gym as well.

Around here they also have a grade 8 prom at the school in the gym.

The last few years they have the grade 12 prom at different venues because it was getting expensive. For years it was at the same place.

So apparently hosting it at their own school building was too expensive (unless sizing issues otherwise)?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

For 3 schools to do it and for the school board to ask them to reconsider yeah there's more to the story. It certainly could be antics by students, it could costs are just too high to absorb for these schools, it could be complaints from a small number related to the actual events, etc. As for disclosing why it does depend on just what ignited it as privacy or the law could mean they shouldn't (or can't) publicly disclose all the details but it would behoove them to be as candid as they can be.

As an aside while I understand costs are up there I would question a student opting to purchase a $400 suit for such event, I'm not talking about dresses, but suits here. Maybe that alludes to parts of the "expectations" part of the schools reasoning.

 

[mjkacmom]

wait....."away"? Why are they going away? They don't want to go to prom?

They do want to go to prom, but for at least the last 50 years or it’s been the norm for tbd students to make a long weekend out of it, back in my day most went down the shore (there are some homes with security guards and you need a wristband to enter), but over the past 10 years or so more head up to the poconos. Thats more fun.

 

[mjkacmom]

Away as in have a night out.

I find it interesting that it is apparently common the students aren't involved. Our prom is "hosted" by the 11th grade (junior) class. Everything is done by the students, with a faculty advisor, and yes faculty and administration as chaperones. But all the planning, decorating, etc. is done by the students. It was that way when I was in school decades ago and still that way when DD was in high school.

The students have fundraisers to help with costs, but proms are held is expensive wedding venues, no decorations need to be done. Same with the junior formal (prom is 12th). Even the 8th grade dance was held at a popular banquets hall, 6th grade dances at restaurants (since thats only like 75 kids)

 

[fla4fun]

Both my prom and my sister’s prom were held at off site venues. For mine, the class behind us was responsible for fundraising and the junior class had to buy tickets (the senior class got free tickets). It wasn’t affiliated with the school in any way. In fact, it was on the complete opposite side of the city (took over an hour to get there). My sister’s was held at a large restaurant that had a ballroom attached, and the financing was similar. So far as I am aware, the school contributed nothing financially and we had parent chaperones so no teachers involved either.

The fall formal for homecoming weekend was held at the school. Are they having other formals, just not prom, or has everything been cut?

 

[anrew]

I feel sorry for the kids

 

[lanejudy]

The students have fundraisers to help with costs, but proms are held is expensive wedding venues, no decorations need to be done.

Proms around here are usually held in the same venues as weddings — hotel ballrooms or a recent trend is at farms with an event space — and presumably similar costs. Students decorate to the theme chosen by the hosting class. Fully covered by student fundraising. Students plan the budget, reserve the space, hire music, etc.

 

[Pink Partridge]

Poor kids. I hope the parents can organize one, but also include everyone. Sometimes the less popular kids get left out when the school isn't organizing these events.

 

[mjkacmom]

Proms around here are usually held in the same venues as weddings — hotel ballrooms or a recent trend is at farms with an event space — and presumably similar costs. Students decorate to the theme chosen by the hosting class. Fully covered by student fundraising. Students plan the budget, reserve the space, hire music, etc.

My husband and I graduated in 1985, our class signed a contract with the venue that ended in 2016, so 2 of our kids had their proms there as well. It recently closed after 80 years. It was very nice, but they took care of everything. Some 8th grade and 6th grade dances were held at the brownstone in NJ, famous for the table flip on NJ Housewives.

 

[leebee]

Maybe it's just the money, and how exclusionary that makes things? I worked at a K-8 school that stopped having their graduation prom for the 8th grade because it got to be such a competitive, expensive event. There wasn't a lot of fundraising, it was a dinner-dance held in a restaurant function room, involved formal dresses, tuxes, limos, photographers, flowers, etc. Only about 1/2 of the class could afford to attend, if that many, and there was a lot of sniping and gossip about family incomes, poor people, etc. Maybe it all just got out of hand and the school decided it was time to stop? Just a thought.

 

[CGB]

I've been a class sponsor and planned/hosted a prom before. It was a ton of work but worth every single bit of it for the kids. We raised all the the money for it by working/selling concessions their junior year. We rented an off-campus venue and had no problems that evening. We even planned for the parents showing up to watch coronation because that's part of the town's local tradition. Even during the COVID shutdown, prom was held out on the football field and was an event to be remembered (hats off to that year's sponsor!) I can only imagine the uproar in the local community if the district cancelled prom.

My own kids went to a much larger high school and their prom was held in the school's cafeteria. The big money was poured into the after-prom event held at a local bowling alley. There were lots of big giveaways, typically including a used car. Kids didn't really care about the dance.... but refused to miss the after-prom!

Hope it gets resolved and the kids get their prom!

 

[barkley]

when I went to high school in the late 70's I believe prom was entirely funded through the ticket sales b/c it was EXPENSIVE-$75 per person so for any of the kids self paying (no parental contribution) it was equivalent to about 60 hours at our minimum wage jobs (I think we were capped out at 20 hours per week during the school year) so that was 3 weeks wages . yeah...lots of students did not attend-esp. when that price did'nt include a meal, you had tux rental/dress purchase, the obligatory flowers...I did'nt attend but I believe it was held some place local to us b/c if you went out to dinner on prom weekends (2 high schools/different weekends) the local 'nice' places to eat were filled with prom dates.


don't ask me how in the world it was done but the very small high school my kids attended held their prom (at least when mine were attending up through 2015) at the local air force base. they used some venue there that had the traditional dancing atmosphere but what the kids really gravitated to was the bowling alley and some other fun activities set up in an attached building. heavy restrictions on who could drive on base and it had to be approved ahead of time, zero tolerance for any alcohol (and students reminded several times ahead of the event of the implications of a 'federal offense' on a military installation). like I said, I don't know how they pulled It off but the did and the cost was insanely low (like less than $20 per kid) so date or not almost the whole senior class attended. pretty funny photos-prom dresses and bowling shoes

 

[hardcorestitch]

when I went to high school in the late 70's I believe prom was entirely funded through the ticket sales b/c it was EXPENSIVE-$75 per person so for any of the kids self paying (no parental contribution) it was equivalent to about 60 hours at our minimum wage jobs (I think we were capped out at 20 hours per week during the school year) so that was 3 weeks wages . yeah...lots of students did not attend-esp. when that price did'nt include a meal, you had tux rental/dress purchase, the obligatory flowers...I did'nt attend but I believe it was held some place local to us b/c if you went out to dinner on prom weekends (2 high schools/different weekends) the local 'nice' places to eat were filled with prom dates.


don't ask me how in the world it was done but the very small high school my kids attended held their prom (at least when mine were attending up through 2015) at the local air force base. they used some venue there that had the traditional dancing atmosphere but what the kids really gravitated to was the bowling alley and some other fun activities set up in an attached building. heavy restrictions on who could drive on base and it had to be approved ahead of time, zero tolerance for any alcohol (and students reminded several times ahead of the event of the implications of a 'federal offense' on a military installation). like I said, I don't know how they pulled It off but the did and the cost was insanely low (like less than $20 per kid) so date or not almost the whole senior class attended. pretty funny photos-prom dresses and bowling shoes

I’d assume many of those students had some form of military affiliation?

 

[Disneylover99]

Maybe it's just the money, and how exclusionary that makes things? I worked at a K-8 school that stopped having their graduation prom for the 8th grade because it got to be such a competitive, expensive event. There wasn't a lot of fundraising, it was a dinner-dance held in a restaurant function room, involved formal dresses, tuxes, limos, photographers, flowers, etc. Only about 1/2 of the class could afford to attend, if that many, and there was a lot of sniping and gossip about family incomes, poor people, etc. Maybe it all just got out of hand and the school decided it was time to stop? Just a thought.

I don’t think that’s it.

I’m familiar with 2 of the schools/areas who are cancelling and I’d say they’re in more affluent/upper middle class areas. So I don’t think the high expense associated with proms is the issue.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I don’t think that’s it.

I’m familiar with 2 of the schools/areas who are cancelling and I’d say they’re in more affluent/upper middle class areas. So I don’t think the high expense associated with proms is the issue.

I gathered the families the students were coming from were well off when the one student was quoted as saying they went to the protest wearing the $400 suit they bought for the dance.

But as a general comment you can be in an affluent area as far as the students that are going to the school and yet the school not be affluent or in this conversation able to absorb costs (if this actually has anything to do with it that is) if the costs increase especially exponentially over the years. That can also be the case if the parents are more heavily involved and push for a certain type of prom that may be in conflict (over the years) to what the school can realistically afford or deliver. With student-funded dances what you get is based on normally fundraising throughout the year and the ticket sales for the dances but if it's on the school instead it might be more leeway until there just isn't any more room in the budget and from what I've read in articles there's been a trend downward of the tradition of proms in Canada (I'm sure elsewhere too just speaking towards this case) which may push the school to just give up.

It doesn't look good on the schools though to not give as much detail as they can. If it's costs involved giving the actual costs if they can would be good to do, many of us don't actually know the budgets of the schools.

 

[ronandannette]

This is where the door opens to UNSANCTIONED and potentially UNSAFE alternatives, many of which could be hosted by people that are listed on a sex offender registry or are intending to harm them. No oversight by the school, and in turn a risk that’s even higher.

Except then the onus will be on parents to take full responsibility for whether or not their kids participate, which IMO is not a bad thing. Do we really need the “nanny state” to sanitize everything and provide what may be a false sense of security?