Private vs public

[lovin'fl]

Excellent point. There is no drug dealing happening at private schools, only on weekends.

It may happen, but if they are caught they are OUT. In public, if kids are caught they are suspended for a few marking periods or sent to a different school in the district. Our school system cannot expel any kid under 16 unless they commit an act of violence with a weapon. A kid who brought a knife to my DDs' middle school , but didn't use it, was back at school after a 2 week (or so) suspension....nice! Private schools don't put up with any garbage. And I think knowing you might get kicked out would dissuade you from doing some things you might do at public school.

 

[monarchsfan16]

It may happen, but if they are caught they are OUT. In public, if kids are caught they are suspended for a few marking periods or sent to a different school in the district. Our school system cannot expel any kid under 16 unless they commit an act of violence with a weapon. A kid who brought a knife to my DDs' middle school was back at school after a 2 week (or so) suspension....nice! Private schools don't put up with any garbage. And I think knowing you might get kicked out would dissuade you from doing some things you might do at public school.

Key words here: if they are caught. Yes, punishment can be harsher at a public school, but the action has to be caught.

I went to public school, and now work in a public school system (in special ed). You will find drugs and violence in EVERY school in this nation, public or private, and anyone that tries to tell you otherwise has blinders on. And while schools may not be able to "expel" a student; a student who deserves severe punishment will be dealt with. They may be sent out of district, to a behavioral placement, or put on homestudy. A district has an obligation to educate a student, but it does not have the obligation to educate the student in that school.

I went to a public elementary/middle school that was fantastic. I went to a so-so high school. I still got a fantastic education, because my parents helped me to make the most out of my education in any setting. Despite the fact that my high school was "rough", and only had about a 50% rate of students going to college, I had far more opportunities (AP classes, extracurriculars, etc) than my peers that had gone to private high school. I got into every college that I applied to, with merit scholarships, and went on to get my master's degree (fully funded, based on merit). That 50% college attendance rate didn't mean much to me

Compare the schools very carefully. Look at the full picture. Look at the course offerings, the extracurriculars, etc. Base your decision on facts, not hearsay. Also remember that perception is just that: perception. My students say that there is "so much" violence in the high school I work at. They have a fight once every couple of weeks. The world that they live in is pretty quiet, so a fight every couple of weeks IS big for them. I went to a high school that had at least one fight every lunch period. I don't find the school I work at to be violent at all It's all perception. YOU need to research carefully. Actually talk to administrators and guidance counselors about your concerns.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

It may happen, but if they are caught they are OUT. In public, if kids are caught they are suspended for a few marking periods or sent to a different school in the district. Our school system cannot expel any kid under 16 unless they commit an act of violence with a weapon. A kid who brought a knife to my DDs' middle school , but didn't use it, was back at school after a 2 week (or so) suspension....nice! Private schools don't put up with any garbage. And I think knowing you might get kicked out would dissuade you from doing some things you might do at public school.

Unless, of course, Daddy throws money at the school.

 

[Planogirl]

We actually moved to our area due to the public schools. My husband went to private schools and thought that it was awful. I went to public schools but heard various things about some private schools that didn't feel like a good fit. So we decided on public schools and since we were house hunting did our research and chose our community.

We have no regrets and would use this approach again.

 

[DopeyDame]

"public v private" is an impossible question to answer. You have to look at YOUR private school (or schools) vs. YOUR public school for YOUR kid and their particular strengths and weaknesses. The absolute best thing about private schools is that they are all different, as they are guided by their own mission, vision, and educational philosophy. While your local public school is the one you're "stuck" with in most cases. If that particular public school works for your particular kid - that's awesome! But you don't have choices that you'd have with private school options.
Some other posters have mentioned this, but the absolute best thing to do is to visit the schools you are consider. Go to the open house, talk to the teachers, talk to the parents of current students, and sit in on classes. You'll start to get a feel for what you like and what you don't like, and you'll know what the best decision for your particular child is.

And ignore all the posters making sweeping generalizations about private schools or public schools. That's just silly.

 

[tvguy]

"public v private" is an impossible question to answer. You have to look at YOUR private school (or schools) vs. YOUR public school for YOUR kid and their particular strengths and weaknesses. The absolute best thing about private schools is that they are all different, as they are guided by their own mission, vision, and educational philosophy. While your local public school is the one you're "stuck" with in most cases. If that particular public school works for your particular kid - that's awesome! But you don't have choices that you'd have with private school options.
Some other posters have mentioned this, but the absolute best thing to do is to visit the schools you are consider. Go to the open house, talk to the teachers, talk to the parents of current students, and sit in on classes. You'll start to get a feel for what you like and what you don't like, and you'll know what the best decision for your particular child is.

And ignore all the posters making sweeping generalizations about private schools or public schools. That's just silly.

Well put.

 

[tvguy]

I disagree with the first paragraph. My experience (first hand and through friends and neighbors) is that the private high schools are where much more drugs are prevalent. There is more disposable money in the private school's families for this.
.

Well, certainly possible, but not the case here for a couple of reasons. First, kids at the private high school my kids went to knew one violation, and they were expelled.
Second, half the kids at my kids school were on scholarships for at least some of their tution. The average household income was below that of 10 of the public high schools here.

Third. Parents paying $11,000 a year tuition are VERY involved in their kids lives and school.

Fourth, at least in this area, a friend from Little League who is a Lt. with the drug detail at the sheriff's department says the 2 schools in our area with the biggest drug issues are the one with the lowest per capita household income, and the one with the highest. Parents at the high income school don't care enough to put their kids in private school....too much work....and yes, they do supply their kids with lots of cash to get into trouble with. And at the low income school, money isn't an issue for drugs, they just steal it.

 

[mcraige]

We started DD in a private Christian school, but moved her mid-way thru 4th grade due to theological differences (turns out God doesn't love everyone). She was a straight A student in private school, but a C student in public school. It took us a while to get her grades back up. Finally, in 7th grade, we figured it out. In private school, she was never taught (or encouraged) critical thinking. She could recite the facts (who, what, where, when) but couldn't reason the why. Now, she's a senior, #11 in her class (our of 550+ students). Moving her was the best thing we ever did.

BTW... one of her friends in the same private school was a 'C' student, and the school insisted she had 'learning differences'. She moved to public school as a sophomore, and now is an A/B student. No learning issues here.

This public school isn't perfect, but it's much better than the private school DD attended. Is there another public school close to where you live that has a better reputation?

 

[jodifla]

If you have a good elementary school, I'd go there to start. Save the tens of thousands of dollars.

School is really a year by year proposition....as your child grows, you may find they would fit better in a particular private program. So much can change between now and six years down the road when your hits middle school then 9 years for the high school. They could rezone, you could move, etc.

Also, friends change. You don't need to start at the same school in K together.

 

[jodifla]

Well, certainly possible, but not the case here for a couple of reasons. First, kids at the private high school my kids went to knew one violation, and they were expelled.
Second, half the kids at my kids school were on scholarships for at least some of their tution. The average household income was below that of 10 of the public high schools here.

Third. Parents paying $11,000 a year tuition are VERY involved in their kids lives and school.

Fourth, at least in this area, a friend from Little League who is a Lt. with the drug detail at the sheriff's department says the 2 schools in our area with the biggest drug issues are the one with the lowest per capita household income, and the one with the highest. Parents at the high income school don't care enough to put their kids in private school....too much work....and yes, they do supply their kids with lots of cash to get into trouble with. And at the low income school, money isn't an issue for drugs, they just steal it.

Parents at our public elementary are very involved as well. It really depends on the school.

I have friends who really stretched to send their child to "THE" private school. Where everyone drove the fanciest cars and had the best stuff. It turned her into a terror, being surrounded by all that money.

You really want to try to match the child to the school. You'll get the best results from that.

 

[soccerdad72]

"public v private" is an impossible question to answer. You have to look at YOUR private school (or schools) vs. YOUR public school for YOUR kid and their particular strengths and weaknesses. The absolute best thing about private schools is that they are all different, as they are guided by their own mission, vision, and educational philosophy. While your local public school is the one you're "stuck" with in most cases. If that particular public school works for your particular kid - that's awesome! But you don't have choices that you'd have with private school options.
Some other posters have mentioned this, but the absolute best thing to do is to visit the schools you are consider. Go to the open house, talk to the teachers, talk to the parents of current students, and sit in on classes. You'll start to get a feel for what you like and what you don't like, and you'll know what the best decision for your particular child is.

And ignore all the posters making sweeping generalizations about private schools or public schools. That's just silly.

Excellent post

 

[surfgirl]

It may happen, but if they are caught they are OUT. In public, if kids are caught they are suspended for a few marking periods or sent to a different school in the district. Our school system cannot expel any kid under 16 unless they commit an act of violence with a weapon. A kid who brought a knife to my DDs' middle school , but didn't use it, was back at school after a 2 week (or so) suspension....nice! Private schools don't put up with any garbage. And I think knowing you might get kicked out would dissuade you from doing some things you might do at public school.

"Private schools don't put up with garbage" unless...
- you are the start quarterback and they are playing for the state championship that weekend... or the point guard and it is basketball championships... and sports are an important part of the school culture...
- Daddy writes a check...
- you are a 3rd (or more) generation legacy...


Again, all depends on the school, the circumstances, the area. Isn't quite so cut and dried.

I didn't make sweeping generalizations, I provided a few specific examples of why private isn't all sunshine and rainbows. In fact, I think my friend's comment about parental involvement WAS a broad statement, which is why I said that.


Again, look at your specific situation. And know that it ISN'T a lifelong decision - you can change after a year and yes, kids will make friends just fine.

 

[Pigeon]

If I wasn't happy using the public schools, I'd move. Even though moving is expensive, over the long haul it would be far cheaper than paying for private schools.

Sending my kids to college is very, very important to me. Sending them to private schools is totally unimportant, and were were to pay for private schools, we would be unable to save for college. The good private schools here are over $20K/year. The other private schools are pretty bad and they can't begin to offer what the public schools do.

I also wouldn't think twice about not starting them at the public elementary for fear they will need to make new friends later. Our public system has six elementary schools that feed into a junior high that is divided into four halls. Kids are assigned randomly into the halls and you cannot make any requests. None of my dd's good friends from 6th grade are in her hall in 7th grade. She still sees her old friends on weekends, and she's made new friends just fine. Kids will adapt to that kind of change.

 

[LisaInNc]

I live in an area with mediocre public schools in my opinion. My child is in private school. I agonized over this and put her in what I felt was the best private school in the area.

A friend recently took her children out of a different school district (supposedly the best in the area, the one that people move to just to get the schools) and put her kids in my DDs school. She said they are about a year and a half behind the other kids. She has to get them a tutor.

My story takes a turn when the best private school in my area is not doing it for my child. I have to look to another larger geographical area for other better schools.

It's going to take a major sacrifice to afford one and it means more than a 60 minute commute back and forth each day.

College is VERY important to us but without a great foundation she is not going to get into a great college.

My feeling is this. The public schools are broken. Some argue they live in a great school district. Maybe you do for your area. How does it stand up nationally and even the best in this country how do we stand up globally?

The people in my area find all kinds of way to say their test scores are just fine, good enough.

I want better than good enough for my child.

I can't see a better place to put my money than in my daughters education, her future.

It means less Disney, it means less of everything but I am happy to do it.

I know it's a tough decision, I have shed more than one tear over the best way to educate my child. I am blessed to be able to pay for private school. my heart goes out to the ones that want it as bad as I do and can't afford it.

If you have not seen the documentary Waiting For Superman and you care about education, you should see it.

Lisa

 

[manhattanman]

I am a frequent lurker here and think you guys always give honest, varied opinions.

We are struggling with the decision to start our kids in private vs. public school. Our zoned elementary school is great but the middle and high schools are not so great.

We can afford private school but it will mean sacrifices.
Our struggle is wondering if instead of paying for private school we could be saving for college.

We have considered starting out in the public school and moving if needed but don't like the idea of the kids leaving and having to make new friends.

Could anyone share similar experiences, thoughts?

I don't think there is a universal answer to this, it is really going to be dependent on a lot of variables. Great students can come from both private schools and private schools and bad students can come from the the same places. I think that it is really the "fit" between the school and the student that determines whether students ultimately succeed. I see a lot of students and I've never considered where they were before I met them.

 

[cmwade77]

The more I think about this and look at how well y sisters and brother have done in public school, the more I realize that it's my parent's involvement in their education that is making the difference.

It seems that the kids that are struggling generally have parents that aren't as involved. Bottom line is my parents are in one of my sibling's classrooms at least once a week helping out. Granted, this gets less as they get older, but I think this is the factor that we often overlook.

They are also involved in helping with homework, contacting the teachers to make sure homework is completed and that they are not acting up.

I am sure that the people here are indeed involved, but bottom line is your child will only get out of their education what they (and you to some extent) put into it. The more involved you are, the more likely they are to put effort in.

Now that's not the end all be all, but I think that is definitely something that must be looked at. You should also look at what other parent's involvement is in these schools that are "bad", it may be that they have a very low level of parental involvement.

Now, there may be areas when Public Schools are just plain bad, but I think that the chances are more a lack of involvement than it is that the school is bad in most cases.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

If anyone does really want to know how our kids stack up globally, here's an interesting calculator.

http://www.theatlantic.com/misc/global-report-card

Now, take into account one fact before you use this - our public schools educate everyone and test everyone. Other countries do not all do this.

Still, my public system has fortysomething percent free lunches and we're at about 50% compared to the rest of the civilized world. All our kids, even the ones who have challenges, are tested. So, all things considered, I'm pretty happy to live in this district.

 

[tvguy]

"Private schools don't put up with garbage" unless...
- you are the start quarterback and they are playing for the state championship that weekend... or the point guard and it is basketball championships... and sports are an important part of the school culture...
- Daddy writes a check...
- you are a 3rd (or more) generation legacy...


Again, all depends on the school, the circumstances, the area. Isn't quite so cut and dried.

I didn't make sweeping generalizations, I provided a few specific examples of why private isn't all sunshine and rainbows. In fact, I think my friend's comment about parental involvement WAS a broad statement, which is why I said that.


Again, look at your specific situation. And know that it ISN'T a lifelong decision - you can change after a year and yes, kids will make friends just fine.

Yes it varies. I put up a lot of comments about my kids being in a private school.......of course my 25 year old family car kind of put off the myths about my income level, just a matter of my kids education being a higher priority than a new car. I think the one comment that always got me was that private schools can be selective...yes....they can, but around here, the problem kids that get expelled from the public schools get placed in private schools, with the County Office of education paying the tuition. I have to admit I was a little concerned about that the 4 years DD went to a school with such a program......but what I learned was there were a lot of great kids who got in trouble or lost in the public school system, who were able to get back on track in the right environment with the right teachers.

 

[rockawaybeachgirl]

Private schooling has worked for us and the children of our friends. There was never a thought of them going to a public school. The difference of schooling has become very apparent in college.

For every story like this, there's one going the other way. I went to public school my whole life (in the Bronx no less). when I started high school at the Bronx High School of Science, the kids from the very small, very sheltered Catholic elementary schools were completely at a disadvantage. I went to a top 25 university - my brother went to an Ivy League- and I had a good job in hand before I even started my senior year.

My daughter goes to public school now. For 5 of the weeks were displaced due to Sandy, she attended a VERY prestigious private prep school. She was at or ahead of where the class was in every area.

Does that mean public is better than private? Of course not. I only made this point to show that you need to do your research into the specific schools in your area. Anecdotes are meaningless.

 

[Art 1]

For every story like this, there's one going the other way. I went to public school my whole life (in the Bronx no less). when I started high school at the Bronx High School of Science, the kids from the very small, very sheltered Catholic elementary schools were completely at a disadvantage. I went to a top 25 university - my brother went to an Ivy League- and I had a good job in hand before I even started my senior year.

My daughter goes to public school now. For 5 of the weeks were displaced due to Sandy, she attended a VERY prestigious private prep school. She was at or ahead of where the class was in every area.

Does that mean public is better than private? Of course not. I only made this point to show that you need to do your research into the specific schools in your area. Anecdotes are meaningless.

OK, I will word it differently. On average. A student from an old established prep school. Not one of these new small type private schools, but old established prep schools, will out do and have a leg up on almost all public schooled students. Out of the 1000 or so students my 3 graduated with, all but maybe 2 or 3 them went off to college or military schools. Many of them the top schools in the country.