Private vs public

[SLP958]

I am a frequent lurker here and think you guys always give honest, varied opinions.

We are struggling with the decision to start our kids in private vs. public school. Our zoned elementary school is great but the middle and high schools are not so great.

We can afford private school but it will mean sacrifices.
Our struggle is wondering if instead of paying for private school we could be saving for college.

We have considered starting out in the public school and moving if needed but don't like the idea of the kids leaving and having to make new friends.

Could anyone share similar experiences, thoughts?

 

[Southernmiss]

I am a frequent lurker here and think you guys always give honest, varied opinions.

We are struggling with the decision to start our kids in private vs. public school. Our zoned elementary school is great but the middle and high schools are not so great.

We can afford private school but it will mean sacrifices.
Our struggle is wondering if instead of paying for private school we could be saving for college.

We have considered starting out in the public school and moving if needed but don't like the idea of the kids leaving and having to make new friends.

Could anyone share similar experiences, thoughts?

First, I would say have you actually visited the middle and high school and how old are your children?

Our middle and high schools have "reputations", but our experiences with having 3 kids attend the schools has been vastly different from the rumors around town. I am disheartened when I hear of people making assumptions about our schools without even visiting them. This only perpetuates the rumors.

YMMV

 

[sonnyjane]

Good question. Tough question too. I went to private school. I got a fantastic education. I got into many reputable and expensive colleges. I attended one of those colleges and ended up owing $85,000 in loans. I am incredibly thankful for the education that I received and am constantly surprised at how many great things I learned compared to most of my peers, but the truth is that in the end, I'm not sure that my expensive schooling prepared me any better for what I'm doing currently in my life or if it was worth it. My parents got a heavy, heavy discount on the private school because they were teachers there. If they weren't, there's no way I would have afforded it.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

If the elementary schools are fine, go ahead & enroll them. In the meantime, you can save your pennies for the private school later when they need it. Who knows, you might move by then anyway.

 

[Axel]

Can you specifically define "not so great"?

Many people see a dropout rate or a low college attendance as signifying a "not so good" school when in reality it is entirely possible to get a very good education if the student applies themselves and seeks out the right teachers. Test scores are also not an accurate measure of how good a school is in most cases since standardized tests usually only measure two subjects: math and reading. What about their science, history, art, music, technology, or vocational programs? Take those into account as well.

Personally, I was in Parochial schools for 1-8 and then public for 9-12. My high school had the highest dropout rate in the state when I entered and was in danger of losing its accreditation.

I went to three different schools, 1-6, 7-8, and 9-12. I had no issues making friends at either after the swap. That said, I don't speak with anybody from grades 1-8, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I hated Parochial schooling and have bad memories of it than anything else. And since you said "kids" plural, they will always have each other.

That said, I managed to get a good enough education to be named to the French National Honor Society and the National Honor Society, be selected to study in a prestigious state summer program (which I had to decline because I was going to France and the two conflicted), and was accepted to two colleges (of four. I knew I most likely wouldn't get the other two because they were highly selective [an Ivy and one very small school]).

Remember that private schools not only cost more money in tuition, but often have extra requirements such as uniforms to consider (and those aren't cheap).

I encourage you to also look into your options for charter schools and schools with non-"traditional" teaching styles if you think your children would benefit from something like expeditionary learning where students frequently leave the classroom and see real-world applications of their studies. Montessori and Waldorf schools can be good options as well.

Also check and see if it would be possible for you to sit in on a typical day at the schools you're considering (and the upper grades as well). Further, your kids are just starting out in school. It is entirely possible that your town's middle and high schools could become "great" schools by the time your kids are ready to enter those levels.

 

[Sadie22]

First, I would say have you actually visited the middle and high school and how old are your children?

Our middle and high schools have "reputations", but our experiences with having 3 kids attend the schools has been vastly different from the rumors around town. I am disheartened when I hear of people making assumptions about our schools without even visiting them. This only perpetuates the rumors.

YMMV

This was our experience as well. We went public schools all the way with our children. When the oldest was in high school, other parents of boys in his Scout troop who were sending their kids to one of the area's private schools told me they would not let their students go to the public school, despite its great academic reputation, because of the gangs and fights and drugs and what-have-you they had heard there were at that school. DS said if that kind of thing was going on in the school, he never saw it. The other parents spent a boatload of money, but we didn't.

 

[Southernmiss]

This was our experience as well. We went public schools all the way with our children. When the oldest was in high school, other parents of boys in his Scout troop who were sending their kids to one of the area's private schools told me they would not let their students go to the public school, despite its great academic reputation, because of the gangs and fights and drugs and what-have-you they had heard there were at that school. DS said if that kind of thing was going on in the school, he never saw it. The other parents spent a boatload of money, but we didn't.

Yes, this exactly. In fact, the 2 other high schools in our area don't have the reputations around town, but the administrators (who have worked in each of the schools) will tell you that the problems in those schools are greater than the problems in the high school our kids feed into.

 

[tvguy]

Both kids went private Pre-k through 12. Tried it because it only cost $20 a week more than we were going to have to pay for before and after school care.

Yes, huge financial impact, and really didn't know if it was worth it until both kids hit college. They were both amazed how unprepared for college their classmates public schools were in college. Didn't even really know how to write a paper.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Yes, huge financial impact, and really didn't know if it was worth it until both kids hit college. They were both amazed how unprepared for college their classmates public schools were in college. Didn't even really know how to write a paper.

On the flip side, the opposite was true for my friends who attended parochial school. They were a full 2 years behind the rest of us in math & science and that didn't bode well for them in an engineering program. All public schools are not created equal - ditto for all private schools.

 

[tasha99]

It really depends on the schools. In my experience with public and parochial schools, the public schools had more educated teachers, but larger class sizes.

If it turns out your kids have any special needs, the public schools will probably be better because they will have staff trained to work with different learning styles. If your kids are typically developing, there could be advantages to private school (but it does really depend on the school--not every private school is good).

 

[Southernmiss]

On the flip side, the opposite was true for my friends who attended parochial school. They were a full 2 years behind the rest of us in math & science and that didn't bode well for them in an engineering program. All public schools are not created equal - ditto for all private schools.

This is true for our local Catholic High school. ((I just visited it last month.)) It is a good school, but it's not able to offer all that our public high school offers in AP and advanced classes.

 

[cmwade77]

It could be that a mix would be good for you, since it sounds like the lower grades are good, perhaps putting them there and then seeing where the Middle Schools and High Schools are when they get there. It doesn't have to be all one or the other after all.

 

[JessB320]

Do your research. We had a horrible experience with private school. I literally feel like we bought oldest DS diploma. He did not do the work, failed many classes and the school kept making exceptions and giving him credits for "experience". As parents we were appalled, here we were trying to teach our son that in real life there is no hand holding and your responsibilities are yours, all the while the school is doing the opposite. Turns out they were more concerned about their numbers and stats of grads than of the education they were giving. We pulled the next youngest two and put them in public classes where they were both more challenged. DD graduates this year and will graduate with an AA degree from the community college as a high school senior and then just have two years at her 1st pick college to finish her bachelors, all at no extra cost to us thanks to the accelerated programs the public schools here offer.

 

[shortbun]

All private schools are not great. Just saying. My husband is teaching at a private school this year and the things they have asked him to prioritize...he's not staying another year. Be very careful that they are up to standards. Very careful.

 

[kaligal]

Your children's education is one of the most important things you give them.

I would (and did) do whatever I had to do to get them into the best possible school. Give up vacations, drive older cars, live in a cheaper house - whatever.

 

[Christine]

I've done a mix of both and, even still, have a different opinion based upon what your certain circumstances are. Can you tell me what is "not so great" about your middle and high schools? It makes a difference.

 

[Art 1]

I am a frequent lurker here and think you guys always give honest, varied opinions.

We are struggling with the decision to start our kids in private vs. public school. Our zoned elementary school is great but the middle and high schools are not so great.

We can afford private school but it will mean sacrifices.
Our struggle is wondering if instead of paying for private school we could be saving for college.

We have considered starting out in the public school and moving if needed but don't like the idea of the kids leaving and having to make new friends.

Could anyone share similar experiences, thoughts?

Private schooling has worked for us and the children of our friends. There was never a thought of them going to a public school. The difference of schooling has become very apparent in college.

 

[tar heel]

I think you have to look carefully at both options. Where I live, only one private school is superior to our public schools, and it is extremely expensive - high school tuition is almost $20,000 a year and half-day junior K is more than $10,000. I would probably do the public elementary. If the middle and high schools are as bad as you say, then there will be other families switching their children after elementary, too.

Be careful choosing, though. As someone mentioned, a lot of private schools can't compete with the public ones in offering advanced classes and students have trouble getting into competitive universities.

 

[knitster]

I'm a homeschooler, so take this for what it's worth...

I would do whatever necessary to give my kids the best education possible, within my financial means. But I don't think that private schools are automatically better than public schools. I think that you really have to take it year by year. Starting with the public school, meet your kid's teacher and the rest of the staff, really envolve yourself in their education, and don't feel that your choice this year locks you in for the rest of their lives. If, at any point, you feel like the public school isn't meeting your expectations, then move on to something else.

 

[Christine]

I'm a homeschooler, so take this for what it's worth...

I would do whatever necessary to give my kids the best education possible, within my financial means. But I don't think that private schools are automatically better than public schools. I think that you really have to take it year by year. Starting with the public school, meet your kid's teacher and the rest of the staff, really envolve yourself in their education, and don't feel that your choice this year locks you in for the rest of their lives. If, at any point, you feel like the public school isn't meeting your expectations, then move on to something else.

The part I bolded is what I wanted to emphasize. I live in an area that has some of the top-rated school systems in the country. The public schools are mostly very, very good at educating the kids. As such, the competing private schools, even the inexpensive ones, are top notch. They have to be to compete. I would go so far as to say that some of the public high schools are better than some of the private high schools and vice versa.

What it comes down to is your individual child. In our area, the difference seems to be control in the schools and discipline. At our high schools, which can have about 3,000 students, it can be utter chaos. If your kids are not in honors or AP classes, you can bet they will be mixed in with all kinds and many of these "all kinds" have no respect for teachers and no respect for other students in the classroom. This is what my DD most noted when she was in public high school. The private schools, in our experience, and we've used three different ones, manage to somehow maintain fairly good discipline in the classroom. Neither of my kids have reported the issues in class in private school that went on in public school at the middle and high school levels. At least in the schools we used, there was zero tolerance for nonsense.

When the kids get to the upper levels of school, it's important to assess their academic level and where they are going to be within the various tracks in middle/high school. If you've got an average kid, it might make sense to put them in private school. If you've got a very high achiever, they are going to do well where ever they land.