Back in March, we got a discount code in the mail. We went back and forth trying to decide if we wanted to book or just not go this year. With gas prices, the kids all in high school, it just didn't seem right. We have had our fair share of "bad" stuff go on this year, the economy, ex issues, children issues etc. Then at the last day mark in March, dh came home and said, "Let's just go..me and you, people watch..deluxe dining..cirque...Christmas party...lets just do it." I wasn't so sure but went ahead and booked us for Carribean Beach because Coronado didn't have an opening with a King Bed. Great price but was feeling like we could cancel or add the kids if we changed our minds as the date for final payment approached.
Well, the summer came and went with more issues cropping up, including us having to start marital counseling because of well...a couple of the above "bad" things I mentioned. Seemed like we couldn't connect anymore, everyday we either barely spoke to each other or fought, I spent the month of August in the guest bedroom despite going to counseling once a week. It looked like things weren't going to be looking up anytime soon. Everyday I thought about cancelling and kept putting it off. I felt like dh brought it up, he was 1/2 of our problem if he wanted to cancel let him do it. With every thing else that was going on, I just didn't have the energy and if the truth be known, wanted to go. Even if it was by myself. Even if I took my mom and left everyone here to their own devices.
In Sept, at one of our sessions, we finally started getting to the bottom of our issues. We started to talk again. It wasn't so bad anymore when I heard him coming through the front door. At one of our sessions, he answered a question with "We are going on a vacation together...we have never had a moment together alone. We are going on this vacation no matter what. For 6 days we are going to focus on each other and enjoy each others company. No matter how bad things are". I realized how right he was. We got together with him having 4 children and me with 6...thats right 10 kids in the same house. Never a moment did we bat an eye. We are down to 5 and that felt good. He was right about a lot of things. We never did have a moment..that stuff people have before kids come along that gets them through the tough times. The kids are teenagers now, they will be gone soon. They are my whole life and it was time to change that. Well, not completely but make dh more a center of it all. The way he did me. I knew that we were going to make it for a little bit longer. I started to realize that I was partly to blame and I wanted to change it.
So today, I made the final payment. All reservations are made for dining. We have our Christmas Party tickets. Hoop De Doo, Candelight Processional and Fantasmic. All the little things we don't do with the kids. Cirque tickets in the next couple days. I thought I would feel guilty but I feel good. I feel like this is the first step in the right direction. I call dh to let him know that we were paid in full. His response..."I love you, you won't regret this. It will be wonderful for us." He is right..I won't!
My oldest dd, is coming to spend the week with the kids. My dil is going to come in the middle of the week. The guest bedroom will still have an occupant but it won't be me anymore. The kids are bummed, but they are old enough to understand that we need together time too. I wish that we had started this a long long time ago. Just the excitement of getting away, planning and thinking of all the fun things we can do...just the gravy. I will miss the kids but their sister will be fun..she is 25 so there is no way she will be the fuddy duddy I am. They call me "Mrs. Safety" for a reason!
So there it is...45 days to go and a hope that this will only help our marrage grow stronger and stronger. That this time next year, maybe we will be making arrangements to go someplace again. Alone. I still know I will miss the kids..I do already and I haven't left. I will worry..I worry when I am work! So, it will just be another day where that is concerned. All I can say is Disney at Christmas with my dh...what more could I ask for?
Well, the summer came and went with more issues cropping up, including us having to start marital counseling because of well...a couple of the above "bad" things I mentioned. Seemed like we couldn't connect anymore, everyday we either barely spoke to each other or fought, I spent the month of August in the guest bedroom despite going to counseling once a week. It looked like things weren't going to be looking up anytime soon. Everyday I thought about cancelling and kept putting it off. I felt like dh brought it up, he was 1/2 of our problem if he wanted to cancel let him do it. With every thing else that was going on, I just didn't have the energy and if the truth be known, wanted to go. Even if it was by myself. Even if I took my mom and left everyone here to their own devices.
In Sept, at one of our sessions, we finally started getting to the bottom of our issues. We started to talk again. It wasn't so bad anymore when I heard him coming through the front door. At one of our sessions, he answered a question with "We are going on a vacation together...we have never had a moment together alone. We are going on this vacation no matter what. For 6 days we are going to focus on each other and enjoy each others company. No matter how bad things are". I realized how right he was. We got together with him having 4 children and me with 6...thats right 10 kids in the same house. Never a moment did we bat an eye. We are down to 5 and that felt good. He was right about a lot of things. We never did have a moment..that stuff people have before kids come along that gets them through the tough times. The kids are teenagers now, they will be gone soon. They are my whole life and it was time to change that. Well, not completely but make dh more a center of it all. The way he did me. I knew that we were going to make it for a little bit longer. I started to realize that I was partly to blame and I wanted to change it.
So today, I made the final payment. All reservations are made for dining. We have our Christmas Party tickets. Hoop De Doo, Candelight Processional and Fantasmic. All the little things we don't do with the kids. Cirque tickets in the next couple days. I thought I would feel guilty but I feel good. I feel like this is the first step in the right direction. I call dh to let him know that we were paid in full. His response..."I love you, you won't regret this. It will be wonderful for us." He is right..I won't!
My oldest dd, is coming to spend the week with the kids. My dil is going to come in the middle of the week. The guest bedroom will still have an occupant but it won't be me anymore. The kids are bummed, but they are old enough to understand that we need together time too. I wish that we had started this a long long time ago. Just the excitement of getting away, planning and thinking of all the fun things we can do...just the gravy. I will miss the kids but their sister will be fun..she is 25 so there is no way she will be the fuddy duddy I am. They call me "Mrs. Safety" for a reason!
So there it is...45 days to go and a hope that this will only help our marrage grow stronger and stronger. That this time next year, maybe we will be making arrangements to go someplace again. Alone. I still know I will miss the kids..I do already and I haven't left. I will worry..I worry when I am work! So, it will just be another day where that is concerned. All I can say is Disney at Christmas with my dh...what more could I ask for?
