Pretend you're a College freshman, What Would You Do?

[DramaQueen]

Well, I'm in my 3rd year at university and I can tell you that I'd have a HUGE problem with a roomie and her BF sleeping together 3 feet away from me....

And you can bet your butt I'd vent to my mom about it, I'd definitely speak to an RA about it to have it rectified, but it sounds like the RA is a tad useless in this situation, at that point if nothing was being done I'd definitely request a room change. Perhaps the residence people don't take students complaints all that seriously when it comes to switching rooms which is why the girls mom had to get involved?

It must be awkward for this poor girl, I'm sure roomie & her BF hate this girl now and are probably not being exactly pleasant to her, but if it were me there's no WAY I'd be taking refuge in the library or elsewhere, I'd just stay put in my room where I have every right to be because I PAY FOR IT and just weather the evil glares until christmas break.
You can bet that I wouldn't budge from my room just because my roomie was giving me the stink eye.

 

[disykat]

If she made it through two months, she can make it for two more weeks. The semester is almost over. At my school it took more then two weeks for housing to even call you back, let alone correct an issue. I think its a futile waste of time at this point, when she should be stuyding. If her room is that unbearable, go sleep at a friends or study at the library. It is only two weeks.

The reality though is that it's gone from awful to dangerous. They were just disgusting. Now they're angry and disgusting.

 

[Sparx]

the semester is almost over! just make it to the end. then get a different roommate for next semester.

 

[Rora]

Well, I'm in my 3rd year at university and I can tell you that I'd have a HUGE problem with a roomie and her BF sleeping together 3 feet away from me....

And you can bet your butt I'd vent to my mom about it, I'd definitely speak to an RA about it to have it rectified, but it sounds like the RA is a tad useless in this situation, at that point if nothing was being done I'd definitely request a room change. Perhaps the residence people don't take students complaints all that seriously when it comes to switching rooms which is why the girls mom had to get involved?

It must be awkward for this poor girl, I'm sure roomie & her BF hate this girl now and are probably not being exactly pleasant to her, but if it were me there's no WAY I'd be taking refuge in the library or elsewhere, I'd just stay put in my room where I have every right to be because I PAY FOR IT and just weather the evil glares until christmas break.
You can bet that I wouldn't budge from my room just because my roomie was giving me the stink eye.

It's nice to hear this perspective from a current college student.. I'm glad to know you'd stay in the room!! I'm trying to convince DCousin to do so but everyone knows how uncomfortable that is..

I guess it's a good life lesson learned but it doesn't seem like a necessary life lesson, you know? Poor thing.. Again, any other thoughts/advice on how to handle this--send it my way!!

 

[Sparx]

It's nice to hear this perspective from a current college student.. I'm glad to know you'd stay in the room!! I'm trying to convince DCousin to do so but everyone knows how uncomfortable that is..

I guess it's a good life lesson learned but it doesn't seem like a necessary life lesson, you know? Poor thing.. Again, any other thoughts/advice on how to handle this--send it my way!!

get her stuff out of there asap! when you piss off girls, they're vicious! i wouldn't be surprised for your cousin to come to her dorm and find her stuff destroyed or stolen.

 

[Rora]

The reality though is that it's gone from awful to dangerous. They were just disgusting. Now they're angry and disgusting.

THIS is what I'm worried about. Like another DISer mentioned, she's going to move valuable stuff into a more secure, hidden place (we don't know where yet) and keep tabs on the rest of her stuff.

I met this girl once and wouldn't put it pass her to do something simply down right mean to something of DCousin's or heaven forbid, DCousin.

 

[FireDancer]

If I had a roommate like this every time they were "sleeping" I would stand at the foot of their bed and applaud loudly. If it turned into a contest of who could make the other more uncomfortable I would win every time .

I wouldn't get my parents involved though. Once I turned 18 I was an adult and handled my own problems. Granted my solution above is childish but if you grow all the way up life stops being fun.

 

[bumbershoot]

If I had a roommate like this every time they were "sleeping" I would stand at the foot of their bed and applaud loudly. If it turned into a contest of who could make the other more uncomfortable I would win every time .

And that is such a guy's way of dealing with it! I tell you, some of the ways men have of working things out is so much better.

she does NOT have to hide out. She can request to be moved to an empty location since it is the school's fault for letting him stay there in the first place.

It's quite possible there simply is no other space on campus... She's lucky she can change at the semester, though! At my school that wouldn't have been a given, unless there had been dropouts/transfers. They required all freshmen to live in the dorms, and sometimes there was overspill from that into the houses (2 of the roomies from my sophomore house were lucky freshmen!)...there was never any extra room, so if you wanted to switch you had to find someone to swap rooms with.

Does she have any dorm friends with boyfriends that they spend time with (at the boyfriend's), or wouldn't mind in some other way? Could she swap unoficially for these weeks?

 

[dakcp2001]

If I had a roommate like this every time they were "sleeping" I would stand at the foot of their bed and applaud loudly. If it turned into a contest of who could make the other more uncomfortable I would win every time .

I wouldn't get my parents involved though. Once I turned 18 I was an adult and handled my own problems. Granted my solution above is childish but if you grow all the way up life stops being fun.

I like this idea, and I think she should invite over some friends, for an audience. They can ALL applaud

 

[redlight]

I like this idea, and I think she should invite over some friends, for an audience. They can ALL applaud

 

[mcco5543]

I still say it should be dealt with all the way up to the top and this poor kid should not just "deal" for 2 weeks. This is her college experience and every moment is precious. She should not have to "deal" at all.

 

[Rora]

If I had a roommate like this every time they were "sleeping" I would stand at the foot of their bed and applaud loudly. If it turned into a contest of who could make the other more uncomfortable I would win every time .

That would be the greatest!!! Too bad she never would do that..

It's quite possible there simply is no other space on campus... She's lucky she can change at the semester, though! At my school that wouldn't have been a given, unless there had been dropouts/transfers. They required all freshmen to live in the dorms, and sometimes there was overspill from that into the houses (2 of the roomies from my sophomore house were lucky freshmen!)...there was never any extra room, so if you wanted to switch you had to find someone to swap rooms with.

Does she have any dorm friends with boyfriends that they spend time with (at the boyfriend's), or wouldn't mind in some other way? Could she swap unoficially for these weeks?

Yeah- there's no way she will be able to officially move rooms this semester. The dorms are already over occupied and we're suprised she's getting her own room next semester.

Sadly, there's no where she can really stay unofficially. The rooms are all small and with exams getting closer, friends aren't being too supportive (understandable..). Her boyfriend lives 4 hours from her so that isn't an option. Sticking it out is the only thing possible.

 

[Feralpeg]

Those suggesting that she should have gone to the RA need to realize that the RAs aren't always that much help.

When my DD lived in the dorm of her university, the RAs were practically useless. They really only did what they absolutely had to do and did not like to get involved in any type of disputes. One time, DD complained that the girls in the room next to her room played their instruments (they were music majors) until the wee hours of the morning. There was supposed to be quiet time after 11 pm. The RA told her there wasn't really anything he could do. He didn't want to enforce the rules. DD eventually went to the person in charge of the entire dorm and complained. It helped for a very short time.

 

[mcco5543]

Those suggesting that she should have gone to the RA need to realize that the RAs aren't always that much help.

When my DD lived in the dorm of her university, the RAs were practically useless. They really only did what they absolutely had to do and did not like to get involved in any type of disputes. One time, DD complained that the girls in the room next to her room played their instruments (they were music majors) until the wee hours of the morning. There was supposed to be quiet time after 11 pm. The RA told her there wasn't really anything he could do. He didn't want to enforc the rules. DD eventually went to the person in charge of the entire dorm and complained. It helped for a very short time.

I think the OP Has already cleared it up that the person did indeed go to the RA and the RA was no help at all. I'm sorry for that experience as well as the one your DD had. I had quite the opposite experience. My RA's were there for me through some very difficult times and very scary medical situations. Top notch at their jobs.

 

[Rora]

Those suggesting that she should have gone to the RA need to realize that the RAs aren't always that much help.

When my DD lived in the dorm of her university, the RAs were practically useless. They really only did what they absolutely had to do and did not like to get involved in any type of disputes. One time, DD complained that the girls in the room next to her room played their instruments (they were music majors) until the wee hours of the morning. There was supposed to be quiet time after 11 pm. The RA told her there wasn't really anything he could do. He didn't want to enforce the rules. DD eventually went to the person in charge of the entire dorm and complained. It helped for a very short time.

This is so true. My RAs in college didn't do CRAP for us..

I think the OP Has already cleared it up that the person did indeed go to the RA and the RA was no help at all. I'm sorry for that experience as well as the one your DD had. I had quite the opposite experience. My RA's were there for me through some very difficult times and very scary medical situations. Top notch at their jobs.

I'm so glad to hear of a successful RA experience. I guess it just depends on the RA!

 

[redlight]

I've had good experiences with RAs and some not-so-good ones. I have friends who had horrid experiences with them, and some where the RA was a live saver. Just like almost everything else, your mileage may vary.

How does your daughter like school in general, Rora?

 

[Rora]

I've had good experiences with RAs and some not-so-good ones. I have friends who had horrid experiences with them, and some where the RA was a live saver. Just like almost everything else, your mileage may vary.

How does your daughter like school in general, Rora?

I wish she was my DD! She's such a wonderful girl and I hope my children turn out just as well as she did but she's my DCousin--she likes the school part of school. She doesn't really like the huge, party attitude that UF has. She doesn't drink or go out a lot so it's been hard for her to make friends. But, she likes the academics and the freedom of college. She misses her boyfriend and family but I think is starting to adjust. This roommate has made things worse but with her own room next year, HOPEFULLY things will be better!!

 

[redlight]

I wish she was my DD! She's such a wonderful girl and I hope my children turn out just as well as she did but she's my DCousin--she likes the school part of school. She doesn't really like the huge, party attitude that UF has. She doesn't drink or go out a lot so it's been hard for her to make friends. But, she likes the academics and the freedom of college. She misses her boyfriend and family but I think is starting to adjust. This roommate has made things worse but with her own room next year, HOPEFULLY things will be better!!

I hope your cousin can find her social niche soon, but it sounds like she will.

 

[Rafiki31]

I still say it should be dealt with all the way up to the top and this poor kid should not just "deal" for 2 weeks. This is her college experience and every moment is precious. She should not have to "deal" at all.

Things do not move that fast, too much red tape. Nothing will be solved in two weeks. It takes months for those departments to do anything.

 

[Rora]

Things do not move that fast, too much red tape. Nothing will be solved in two weeks. It takes months for those departments to do anything.

Very true. I wish she could switch rooms this semester but sadly the school just doesn't move that quickly. Plus, the dorms are already over occupied. There are students in temporary triple rooms (meaning they were told that the 3rd person would be moved out of the room and into a different one) that still haven't been de-tripled!!