preteen moms ? for you

[allie1078]

My 12yr dd wants to surf the net. I would like to find some sites that are appropriate for her. She wants on Myspace but dh and I say no. does anyone have any suggestions? Not sure what she wants to do as she wont give me any clue. Things she is into include dance, Twilight, Transformer movies, music.

tia

ann

 

[Lexie]

My 12yr dd wants to surf the net. I would like to find some sites that are appropriate for her. She wants on Myspace but dh and I say no. does anyone have any suggestions? Not sure what she wants to do as she wont give me any clue. Things she is into include dance, Twilight, Transformer movies, music.

tia

ann

Myspace gets a lot of spam and child predators, so it would be good to stay away from there. I recommend Facebook if she wants a place to connect with friends; there are a lot better privacy controls such that you can really limit who has access to your profile.

There isn't any one site that is contains everything. You should allow your DD to use Google.com to search for sites that interest her. Just make sure she knows not to click on banner ads and if she isn't sure if a website is okay then to ask you first to be sure.

Do you have a reason not to trust your DD about what sites she visits? Regardless the computer should be in a public place such as the living room. Monitoring software is useless because they all can be counter-measured typically without too much work.

 

[kristinw3girls]

I let my 12yo go to the disney site (of course). They have a virtual game, social setting thing. They make avatars and can talk to other kids. It will not allow them to give any personal info. I also let her go to neopets.com. It has games they can play to earn "money" they can then "spend" on the pet the create. I'd start with these type of sites. They really are too young for most sites outthere. My youngest like the disney faries section. It is also very safe and they have lots to do there. Good Luck! This is the start of a whole new chapter in her life.

 

[The Three Cabs]

My DS12 loves the Disboards, he is on it all them time...I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! He really enjoys the teen board. But I do keep him clear from social sites like MySpace and Facebook. I trust him very much its the predators that can linger on those sites that are the issue.

 

[3boymthr]

I've found a lot of kids that age want to connect with friends that way. We've told DS - NO. He has accepted this though I think he might be going on at school as they are allowed to use the computer during Study Hall. We let him use game sites and a few others which line up with his interests such as history channel since he is a history nut. Everything he goes on has to be vetted by us.

To allow him to connect with friends I set him up with an e-mail address but he has to keep the password as the one I set. I've told him it's global that the service requires we all have the same password so he won't try to change it and although he has fussed he hasn't changed it (okay I did lie about this but it's for his safety.) This way I can go in and monitor what he's sending and receiving as e-mail.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

My DD has a myspace account, I let her get one when we moved away from her friends. I have her password and I am one of her "friends" and monitor it very closely. I also have access to her email. I have made it clear to her that I can and do check the history on the computer and can see everything she does on there. I have also drilled internet safety into all of my kids (no real names, addresses, phone numbers, etc) and they remind them at school as well.

Besides that, she likes webkinz, wizard 101, toontown, virtual family kingdom, nick, addictinggames.com and disney.

She's only allowed to play video games two days a week and occassionally on weekends, that includes the computer, wii, and ps2, she has to choose one.

ETA: I totally agree with having the computer in a common area, too, where you can see what's going on. I don't stand over DD's shoulder, but I do keep an eye out.

 

[KAMLEM]

Monitoring software is useless because they all can be counter-measured typically without too much work.

I disagree with this. I have EBlaster and I think it's great. I think it would be pretty difficult for a kid to "counter-measure" it. My DD's know that I have it so it's no secret.

 

[tigger2297]

facebook isn't bad. You have to accept ur friends. Only predators can see u if u friend them or accept themm

myspace is terrible and anyone can see u


so if u trust ur kid then go facebook all the way

 

[NHdisneylover]

DD12 likes:
Disney
The DIS
Poptropica
American Girl
not doppler
lego.com
NASA
Bill Nye's website
websites of her favourite authors (especially Robin McKinnley's)

She uses Google a lot to find things.

 

[mjkacmom]

The kids' computer is in the basement (no room upstairs), so I don't know what she's doing. She's been warned, and is not allowed a myspace account. She's been downloading videos on youtube for a couple of years now - she's way more internet savy than I am! I told her she could have a facebook account, but apparently that's for old people, like me. She can also access the internet via her cellphone - most of her friends have laptops.

 

[pweyl36]

The only site my dd 11 is aloud to chat is called " Habo". I think thats what its called. It's free,and well monitered.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

OMG, when I read the title of this thread, I thought it was something else entirely. So glad it's not what I thought!

 

[Order66]

My boys are 9 and are allowed to be online. I have set them up free accounts through kids.aol.com. It's a site for kids 12 & under that gives them their own email address and has lots of kid friendly stuff from games to music to message boards. You can also set up parental controls to limit email and chat through either this site or the regular AOL site and download the parental controls. My kids mostly like to play games or look things up online, but once they start wanting to get into the social side of internet chats I'll set up the limits before they'll be able to download the instant messenger software. The only people they email right now is me or their dad, all the way in another room in the house.

regards

 

[allie1078]

thanks for all of the great info. our computer is in our living room. So yes I will be able to see where and what she is doing. She currently does webkinz, and disney channel stuff. We are considering Facebook. She wants to chat with friends but she already does that w/cell phone texting. so not sure what else she wants. I am thinking about letting her on the dis. I'll give her the suggestions when she gets home from grandmas and camp.

 

[Ppufi]

As a teen myself, I feel that Facebook is perfectly fine as you can set your account to almost fully private. (Only friends can see your page, picture, etc.)

 

[princessmom29]

I teach high school and, from what i see from my 14 year olds banning a child wholesale from social networking site is not the answer. They will just find a way to do it behind your back where you have NO control over what they are doing. You are much better off letting them have a facebook and monitoring the account. My students almost exclusively use facebook rather than myspace b/c to quote one of my 14 year old girls "there are wayyyy to many weirdos on myspace." Facebook really does have good privacy controls. Unles you approve someone as a friend they cannot see any personal info, and you can kick them off your list at any time.

 

[StitchFanZ]

I agree with the previous posters on keeping the computer in a public place. There are lots of filtering programs out there but use them knowing that they are tool to help you but are not foolproof.
One that I really like is Family Safety from Windows Live https://fss.live.com/safety/ Once installed this enables you to approve everyone on thier email and instant messenger lists. If someone isn't on the list then they cannot email your child. It also provides a list of all the websites you child has visited and allows you to block certain ones or only allow certain sites.
Some parents also like cybersitter which can give you a record of everything they have typed. This is somewhat like reviewing all those phone text messages.
Social Networking on the computer is as natural to most of these kids as the phone used to be to us. They don't spend hours on the phone - they spend hours texting and messaging one another. The best rule I came up with is no internet usage when friends are over! If you can talk face to face then that is what you should do.

 

[WillowBelle]

I'm another one in favor of FB for (pre)teens. FB is quite easy to lock down, privacy wise. She can IM on FB as well, which may be what she's after.

I would watch youtubing. Just saw a news report yesterday where there is lots of XXX clips on there and kids are using it as a way to get to see porn!

 

[badblackpug]

I use MSN parental controls. You can set the "control" according to the child's age. It then blocks anything that they feel is not age appropriate. Actually I have found it to be way more strict than I would be. If your child goes to a site that the control deems is not age appropriate a message will come up that says something to the effect of "you need a parents permission to access this site. Do you want to get permission now or do you want to send your parent an e-mail?' At that point they just call me to check out the site, and if I approve I can type in my password. Or they can choose to send an email which blocks the site until you can check it out and approve. You also have to approve all email and IM contacts.

We don't allow myspace or facebook. Too easy for freaks to get info. (I don't even have myspace or facebook)

 

[Tink_fanatic]

Yes myspace does BUT you can set your profile to private and people can't look at it and can not get access to it. And you can set that when they ask for your friendship they either have to know your last name or email address. I'm a little touchy on this subject because everyone acts if Facebook is the place to be. Have you read their privacy policy? All pictures you post are the property of Facebook to do what they like. I deleted my Facebook account over a year ago. My friends call me to this day and say Hey! I left you a message on Facebook. HUh? I deleted it like over a a year ago. They say "Well, it's still active." I have left numerous emails with Facebook saying I wanted it gone from their system. No response at all. I hate Facebook.

Back on topic. Myspace is actually pretty cool. I am a member of a Twilight fan group. We play games and discuss Twilight and other books. Right now I am in the middle of a Six Degrees of Seperation game dealing with he Twilight cast.

Myspace gets a lot of spam and child predators, so it would be good to stay away from there. I recommend Facebook if she wants a place to connect with friends; there are a lot better privacy controls such that you can really limit who has access to your profile.

There isn't any one site that is contains everything. You should allow your DD to use Google.com to search for sites that interest her. Just make sure she knows not to click on banner ads and if she isn't sure if a website is okay then to ask you first to be sure.

Do you have a reason not to trust your DD about what sites she visits? Regardless the computer should be in a public place such as the living room. Monitoring software is useless because they all can be counter-measured typically without too much work.