Preschool or No Preschool?

[tweedlemom]

As a SAHM, I hadn't planned on sending my kids to preschool. Half the reason I quit my job was so that I could spend time with my kids, but then we found that both of my sons had speech delays, and one had sensory and fine motor issues as well. So we ended up sending both of them to a Preschool Disabled class that did them wonders! The oldest will start Kindergarten this fall. Had we not had to deal with their delays, I don't know what we would have decided, but now, seeing the strides they made in a specially tailored preschool program, I'm all for preschool. They do love the socialization. And if it gives them a heads up in easing into kindergarten, then it's worth it. Definitely a personal choice.

 

[DawnM]

I keep hearing socialization. I think socialization is over-rated and there are some traits that I just simply do not wish my children to have, even if "everyone else is doing it."

Preschool is NOT a necessity. We only use preschool when I work, otherwise, I keep them home. I see no need for someone else to teach them their colors, shapes, letters or anything else when I am perfectly capable of doing it myself.

I also see no need to spend the money if I am staying home in order to be with them!

Somehow in the last 15 years we have decided that the earlier we take them away from their parents, the better they will do in society. I just don't see the logic in that.

Dawn

 

[Tikicampers]

As a Kindergarten teacher, I can tell you that in general, preschool does make a difference in a lot of ways. The children who have been to preschool have a much easier time adjusting to school. They usually know more, and they are better able to follow the rules. (Before anyone starts flaming, yes there are exceptions to this, just not that many.) Every year, after I meet my students, I check to see what their preschool experience was, and often the ones without preschool are the ones who will struggle. These are smart kids, but most of the other kids have at least one year if not three ahead of them.

Even though I work, DS goes to preschool, not daycare (MIL watches him). He just completed his first year, and we are amazed at how he has grown. I don't know anyone who pays $500 a month for regular preschool. You should be looking for a place that believes in play-based instruction, and that has small class sizes. DS went to a church preschool that was about 150 a month. I don't feel that kids need to be in a preschool that is very academic. That's just not appropriate for young children.

Obviously, if you plan to homeschool, this doesn't matter.

 

[jodifla]

I keep hearing socialization. I think socialization is over-rated and there are some traits that I just simply do not wish my children to have, even if "everyone else is doing it."

Preschool is NOT a necessity. We only use preschool when I work, otherwise, I keep them home. I see no need for someone else to teach them their colors, shapes, letters or anything else when I am perfectly capable of doing it myself.

I also see no need to spend the money if I am staying home in order to be with them!

Somehow in the last 15 years we have decided that the earlier we take them away from their parents, the better they will do in society. I just don't see the logic in that.

Dawn

But when I was a kid, we spent a lot of time playing with other kids. It's not like now, where that can be much more difficult if you aren't in a preschool setting.

And as has been pointed out many times, kindergarten USED to be like preschool. Now that it's like first or second grade, things are different.

Would you send your child straight into first or second grade?

 

[PaulaSue]

I Love our Preschool so much I volunteer and even work PRN for the aides. I think it is very valueable experience for my girls and has helped my 2 older girls do so well in elem school. This will be our 7th school year there and 6th year at our preschool in a row. Our teacher turn-over is very low and the most expensive class is $200ish for 5 days of 2 /12 hours a day.

 

[Gillian]

My DD needs preschool! She just turned 4, so this will be her second year. She's going 5 mornings a week so that we have a consistent schedule every day, because every other day (2 mornings) was a mess for us as a family. Last year she learned how to stand on line, how to listen to a story in a group, and a lot of other things that I could not have taught her at home.

DD is rather difficult. She does not want to learn anything from me, so she barely knows her alphabet and can only write one letter (T). I have given up trying to teach her anything, even though play, and I only hope that her teacher in the fall is able to help her. She's smart enough, and I expect she will catch on quickly. She may even know more than she tells me.

With DS it was just to get him used to groups and other adults. He had a lot of fun too!

 

[MiniGirl]

Alright, I'm going to answer without reading any of the responses first, so please forgive me if I'm repeating what others have said or anything.

I think preschool is a wonderful thing for both the child and the child's primary care giver. I always told people that I could (and did) teach my girls their ABCs and 123s. I could also teach them about sharing and not to push or hit or bite, etc. However, because we were new in the area and did not know even 1 living soul within a 3 hour drive, preschool was the only place where my dd could practice these social rules. Then after I had dd#2, preschool became a great way for me to enjoy some 1 on 1 time with the new baby. As my girls got older, they went from going 2 mornings a week for 3 hours, to 3 days a week, to finally 5 days a week. My oldest is going into second grade and the transistion from 5 half days a week to 5 full days a week was very easy. She was used to listening to an authority figure that wasn't me or dh, standing in line, etc. My youngest will start K in the fall. She isn't the same eager student that my oldest is, but she is still excited about school because of being able to spend even more time each day with all her friends. Starting K would have been difficult on both my girls if preschool hadn't helped pave the way and make a smooth transistion.

Now, having said that..... preschool does not ensure success in elementary and not having gone to preschool does not mean K will be difficult. It is really a case of knowing your child and knowing what is best for that child and your family situation.

Good luck to you whatever you decide.

 

[grlpwrd]

I keep hearing socialization. I think socialization is over-rated and there are some traits that I just simply do not wish my children to have, even if "everyone else is doing it."

Preschool is NOT a necessity. We only use preschool when I work, otherwise, I keep them home. I see no need for someone else to teach them their colors, shapes, letters or anything else when I am perfectly capable of doing it myself.

I also see no need to spend the money if I am staying home in order to be with them!

Somehow in the last 15 years we have decided that the earlier we take them away from their parents, the better they will do in society. I just don't see the logic in that.

Dawn

Well, socialization also includes adapting to change, having structure, and relating to staff (teachers/etc.).

I have 5 kids and only my now-9yo went to preschool. I have homeschooled them up to kindy. I do have a home daycare that follows a preschool program.

No, it isn't a necessity, but there is virtue in preschool not just because of being with other children, but because of exposure to a school setting. This makes the transition easier and I think it helps the child know what it will be like for 13 years. lol

 

[Elmo888]

I keep hearing socialization. I think socialization is over-rated and there are some traits that I just simply do not wish my children to have, even if "everyone else is doing it."

Preschool is NOT a necessity. We only use preschool when I work, otherwise, I keep them home. I see no need for someone else to teach them their colors, shapes, letters or anything else when I am perfectly capable of doing it myself.

I also see no need to spend the money if I am staying home in order to be with them!

Somehow in the last 15 years we have decided that the earlier we take them away from their parents, the better they will do in society. I just don't see the logic in that.

Dawn

I tend to agree about the socialization. Kids are sent to "preschool" at ages 1 and 2, and it seems widely understood that kids aren't social until age 3. Maybe it isn't. Kids seem to socialize anywhere (they play with a kid at a park for a half hour, and they have a new best friend).

Anyway, I see the value of preschool more for the learning about listening to another respected adult, learning in a group setting (lines, etc.). I also think that preschools have become more common with the popularity of SAHMs because they substitute for grandparents and other relatives. It seems like, before our society became so mobile, relatives were able to take kids and give moms a break. Now, relatives seem to live so far away. I have learned to depend on friends and neighbors (I take their kids and they take mine), but for extended care (more than 2 or 3 hours), preschools seem to be where SAHMs turn.

It also seems to be in line with the whole "organized play" trend. Boys can't just get a group together and play a game of baseball. They have to have organized teams, uniforms, and schedules. But I digress...

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I love the fact that I sent my DD to Preschool (now 3 and 1/2) this year.... She has learned to communicate better and stick up for herself better. She loves her school friends and doing crafts. It also allowed for a few hours a week that I could spend with my younger DD. THey are both enrolling in the fall DD will be turning 4 y.o. and going 5 mornings/week- little DD will be 2 and going 2 mornings/week.

Drawbacks: DD became a lot sassier this year, the things she said and the way she said them to me, she absolutely learned from school ("whatEVER MOMMY!")- we nipped that VERY quickly. She also learned about things like SpongeBob and more mature "pop culture" type things pry earlier than she would have...

 

[DawnM]

Actually, I would and I am. The kids were homeschooled up until this year.

I would never say to just do nothing with them at home. Parents are fully capable of teaching numbers, letters, ect.....and I also think that with today's kids, we devalue family time so much. Every night there is an activity because the kids "need" it.

CA actually didn't even make K manditory. Most parents sent the kids anyway, but you didn't have to.

You are right about playtime for sure. I was just telling DH how when we were kids we just played without supervision even at age 7 or 8. We wandered into the woods, etc....and didn't think anything of it. Today we are much more concerned about what can happen if we do that.

Dawn

But when I was a kid, we spent a lot of time playing with other kids. It's not like now, where that can be much more difficult if you aren't in a preschool setting.

And as has been pointed out many times, kindergarten USED to be like preschool. Now that it's like first or second grade, things are different.

Would you send your child straight into first or second grade?

 

[kelliebelly]

My son goes two times a week for a few hours a day. I originally wasn't going to send him, since I stay at home and am considering homeschooling, but he actually begged to go to school! And I figured we could try it and if it didn't work, then no harm done. So I gave in since it was only two days a week and allowed me some one on one time with my youngest. He absolutely loved it. It really has helped him learn to deal with other children and adults. He has always been a VERY active child and being in the classroom setting is helping him learn how to settle down and control his body, when he needs to. Seeing how proud he was when he had his Christmas musical and ALL of his family was there was worth putting him in. All that being said, I still don't just rely on preK to teach him everything. We work on letters and stuff at home. But we are really lucky to be in a really good program where the director does not believe that children should be "pushed" academically, but should learn and develop at their own pace. In fact I have heard her tell parents that they should probably find a different program because they demanded that their 3 year old be taught to read. As long as my child is happy and growing in so many ways, I think it is totally worth it!

 

[jodifla]

Actually, I would and I am. The kids were homeschooled up until this year.

I would never say to just do nothing with them at home. Parents are fully capable of teaching numbers, letters, ect.....and I also think that with today's kids, we devalue family time so much. Every night there is an activity because the kids "need" it.

CA actually didn't even make K manditory. Most parents sent the kids anyway, but you didn't have to.

You are right about playtime for sure. I was just telling DH how when we were kids we just played without supervision even at age 7 or 8. We wandered into the woods, etc....and didn't think anything of it. Today we are much more concerned about what can happen if we do that.

Dawn

You are an educator by background, right?

I'd feel less comfortable doing that, and I think there are a lot of parents out there who probably aren't capable of getting their kids ready for the "rigors" of the new kindergarten, much less 1st or 2nd grade.

 

[bibbity bobbity boo]

Im a SAHM and DD loves to be around other kids so she went 2 days a week for 2 1/2 hours a day and she absolutely loved it. Its just about the socialization at this point and following directions in a class setting. This coming fall she will be going 3 days a week for either 2 1/2 hours a day or 4 1/2 hours per day. We havent decided yet. I am really glad that we decided to sign her up for preschool it has been a great experience.

 

[tammy1210]

Also, they had some opportunities too...such as the day they let my oldest use a sissor...she was plenty old enough, but as a first time mom, I hadn't figured that out...LOL.

I did the same thing! When they sent home something where my ds was learning to cut I was shocked - I hadn't thought about trying to show him how use scissors! That was one of the many reasons I loved preschool. I WOTH, too and my ds, and now my dd, stays with a babysitter who keeps one other child - she's a wonderful caregiver - very loving, but they both learned so much at preschool. I think the best benefit of it was when ds started K, was that he knew how to act in a classroom setting.

 

[DawnM]

Well, yes, I am a teacher, although I teach high school. Dealing with little ones was new for me.

Dawn

You are an educator by background, right?

I'd feel less comfortable doing that, and I think there are a lot of parents out there who probably aren't capable of getting their kids ready for the "rigors" of the new kindergarten, much less 1st or 2nd grade.

 

[tweedlemom]

I think it's easy for some people to take "socialization" for granted. When your child has special needs, it can be very difficult for them to fit in with other kids. Even a small playgroup can feel very awkward for both child and parent. My child didn't start talking until he was three, an age when most children have been speaking for at least a year and working on their social skills. He needed to see his peers interact so he could pick up on age-appropriate cues, something I as a parent could not teach at home. Some parents take for granted the fact that their child can talk, walk, interact, and react age appropriately. And a regular ed student can benefit from interacting with special needs children as well. Preschool can provide these opportunities.

 

[pigletof4]

My children went to preschool and it was very structured with very little playing. They even had homework once a week. The teacher said it was for the to get used to doing it and bringing it back. All the homework was was coloring a the letter of the week and practice writing it. I think skipping preschool at least for our family would have been a big no no. My oldest is going into 2nd grade in the fall and the things she did in 1st grade just amaze me. Just my 2 cents.

 

[janets]

I must comment again on a few posts about "preschool" vs "daycare" as if daycare is not a learning environment.

I am a FT WOTH mom and both of my boys have been in daycare centers (the oldest since 4 months, the younger since 5 months). At the youngest ages, most are just care centers, although I noticed that at both centers we patronized, they "teach" the little ones through play, feel, texture, etc. As they grow, the centers have a curriculum they follow as well, including teaching kids colors, numbers, letters, working on gross and fine motor skills (like cutting with scissors, copying letters and numbers with a pencil, coloring, etc.). Both on my boys were in a preschool environment in their daycare the year before kindergarten.

Older DS9 is going into 4th grade in the fall. He's very bright, borderline gifted, getting all As on his report card. He's social, outgoing, has a great ear for music.

Younger DS5 is heading to kindergarten in September. He's funny, silly, bright, smart as a whip, has the same great ear for music, remembers almost everything he hears.

Would I rather have been able to stay home with both of them until they entered school? Probably. But I like my job, like what I do, enjoy going out into the business world. I think that the fact that I'm happy doing what I do makes it easier for them to be happy as well.

My point, since I digressed, is that a well researched daycare center can be as good of a learning environment as a traditional preschool program.

 

[Mono~rail]

I used to post how anti-preschool I was, but now I'm considering putting my twins in a preschool program after they turn three next year. The main reason is one of DD's has oral aversion, and she is totally tube dependent for her nutrition. I'm looking for a preschool that I can take them to for 2 afternoons or mornings per week and that has a snack or meal time. I think it would do my DD a world of good to be in a meal time group setting with other children her age. Will it work? I'm not sure. Will it hurt her? I don't think so. Is it worth a try? Yes!

I don't want them separated from each other though. My twins are very attached to each other, and the only time they are apart is when one is at therapy. If I hear the first word about separating them, I will find another preschool.