Pregnant women, kids and busses...

[shaylahc1]

At least for me, this whole issue is shocking NOT because I would EXPECT someone to give up their seat, but just amazed that no one was nice enough to!

Sure no one should EXPECT a seat. You can never EXPECT that someone will offer you a kindness, but come on!

I don't care how tired I am, it would be a cold day in hell before I would let a pregnant woman, mother stuggling with small children, or even a tired toddler stand while I sit!

It's just plain nice, and IMO the right thing to do! I don't care if they deserve it or not! Talk about judgemental!

I really..REALLY ..doubt there are a lot of people in that type of situation that expect a seat.

Can't people just be nice anymore without having to over analyze everything??

Yes! This is what I was trying to say. Obviously I don't expect people to jump up and offer me a seat, but it is the polite thing to do. There was a day and age where doing something like offering a pregnant woman or a mother with a baby in her arms a seat on the bus was the polite and proper thing to do, but it appears those days are over I never cease to be amazed at how people defend their rude behavior with selfish excuses about how "other people's problems aren't their problems". Sure I could have caught another bus, but I was willing to stand with my family on the bus so we didn't have to wait another 20-30 minutes with 4 cranky children in the heat. That doesn't mean that I still didn't think it selfish and rude that not a single person even thought to offer me a seat as I struggled to hold on to my baby as well as balance myself.

I was at Myrtle Beach over the weekend and we were standing around waiting for a table at a restaurant. All the seats in the waiting areas were full and when I walked in, this young man immediately jumped up and offered me his seat. I didn't take it, but I thanked him profusely for his effort. The fact is, this was behavior that was considered the norm when *I* was a child. Somehow in modern society, people seem to have lost their manners and sense of compassion. It's a "dog eat dog" world out there, and pretty sad if you ask me.

 

[ducklite]

Sure I could have caught another bus, but I was willing to stand with my family on the bus so we didn't have to wait another 20-30 minutes with 4 cranky children in the heat. That doesn't mean that I still didn't think it selfish and rude that not a single person even thought to offer me a seat as I struggled to hold on to my baby as well as balance myself.

Why wouldn't you think you were the one being selfish for waiting until your kids were cranky and hot before leaving, and then expecting someone to give up a seat for you. Why on earth didn't you leave before? Why does your lack of planning make someone else selfish?

Anne

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Like I said, if I've already passed on a bus and waited for the next one so I could get a seat, simply put, no, I'm not giving it up for anyone.

On the other hand if my asthma is in check and my vertigo isn't bothering me (in which case I wouldn't be at WDW anyhow) I WILL offer my seat. If someone glares at me or makes a nasty comment before I have the chance, then I won't. And if someone has the nerve to demand my seat I'll probably tell them to go to he** in so many words.

I DO often ask elderly people or those with babies if they'd like a seat. And I don't consider someone with a golfer's tan someone who needs a seat--if they can play a round they can stand... But someone with a cane or who has a visible mobility issue but isn't in a wheelchair, absolutely.

That said, if it's demanded or assumed, it's not going to happen. And if I've already skipped a bus to get a seat, sorry, that seat is mine regardless of who you are, as you have that same option.

Anne

Thoughts in the head do not necessarily translate to expressed words or facial expressions.

One can comment on the rudeness of others after the fact without expecting anything in return when they first thought it.

Just like you can express that it is entitlement. It is an OPINION> Nothing more. Noone has demanded or assumed anything. They simply OBSERVED!

Just as I would observe when people don't hold open doors for me--I don't expect them to--but I certainly notice when it slams shut in my face.

I think you are assuming entitlement and all this emergency garbage.

We've gone as far as read that it is possible that 100% of the people on the bus have hidden disabilities.

What we don't acknowledge is that simple manners are absent most of the time on these busses for most parties.

But rather--you blame the person who brought it up. Very nice.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

What's sad is people whining because they didn't plan well enough to get a seat. They are the ones being rude.

If they were whining "on the bus", you would be correct.

Engaging in a discussion about the lack of consideration of others as an OBSERVATION is not inherently rude.

No one has mentioned whining on the bus.

Unless I missed a post somewhere.

Having a thought does not make someone rude--acting out that thought..could be depending on what it is.

What is said is that EVERYONE is giving the riders of the BUS the BOD but giving those who may have observed some possible lack of etiquette the third degree for pi$$ poor planning and then attacking them for it when noone has made any mention of anything other than a "thought" that ran through their head.

Rather pathetic to attack a simple "thought" as though you are practically perfect rather than have a civil discussion on the decline rules of etiquette.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I truly cannot believe some of the responses here. All of you who would NEVER give up a seat because we could have "waited for the next bus" are completely misunderstanding what the point of this thread is. Nobody EXPECTS anything!!!

Precisely.

Let's talk manners.

Please and thank you--if someone doesn't say it--wouldn't it be considered bad manners?

So if we posted a thread on that--would we blast the OP for "expecting" it and how RUDE of them to expect good manners.



You drop papers (happens to everyone and if you are perfect and it doesn't, excellent for you). Now--it would be stellar if someone helped to pick them up--but doesn't happen every time and it is okay. But say people walk all over the papers or objects. Now that would be bad manners. So if we posted a thread on that would we blast the OP for "expecting" peopel to not walk on them. How dare the OP drop them. Shame on them. They deserve to have them walked on.


I don't expect anyone for one minute to give up a seat. But doesn't mean I won't notice if there is someone more needy and not ONE person offers.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

And BTW--I will always hold a door for someone who needs an extra hand--be it for a stroller, someone using a mobility device, or even someone who's hands are full of packages. There is a big differnce.

Anne

But not everyone does and wouldn't "expecting" that to happen be rude and you would pounce on the person loaded with packages for pi$$ poor planning as well? I am glad though that the "poor planning" of not being able to hold open a door for themselves constituted enough reason for you to hold a door for someone else. They could have easiliy gone to the door with the button to hold it open for themselves. I am shocked you didn't suggest that to them.


(And yes that is intended sarcasm b/c I do not see how this discussion should have been any different than a discussion on how polite it is to hold open a door. Noone expects a door hold--but they sure as heck notice when an opportunity to do so is missed. It has turned into entitlement mentality when noone ever said they were entitled to a seat).

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Why wouldn't you think you were the one being selfish for waiting until your kids were cranky and hot before leaving, and then expecting someone to give up a seat for you. Why on earth didn't you leave before? Why does your lack of planning make someone else selfish?

Anne

This is a rediculous argument.

Did she even say that she left the park and thought "Hmm--when we get on the bus, I know with my gang that seats will be given up left and right as they should be".

Nope--she made an OBSERVATION and is talking about it AFTER the fact.

Please point out where ALL these people pre-planned their expectation for a seat to be abandoned in their favor and where they acted upon these expectations on the bus.

Please point it out somewhere---since that is the basis of your defense for the inaction of others.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Why do you ALWAYS have the same response?

Why are you so quick to place blame on those who don't offer their seats to others? Why do you insist on focusing on them and ignoring those who NEED a seat, but make the CHOICE to get on a crowded bus?

I'm defending the right to OBSERVE and discuss later!

Everyone else is pouncing on those with these observations for being RUDE and being entitled.

IF you can show me where someone has said that fully planned and expected seats to be given up for them and acted on those plans and expectations--then you have a basis for saying they are rude.

Making an observation is not rude!

This choice stuff is complete and utter garbage. We CHOOSE to do lots of things. Since when does making what possibly might be a poor choice constitute justification for the rude behavior of others?

 

[ducklite]

But not everyone does and wouldn't "expecting" that to happen be rude and you would pounce on the person loaded with packages for pi$$ poor planning as well? I am glad though that the "poor planning" of not being able to hold open a door for themselves constituted enough reason for you to hold a door for someone else. They could have easiliy gone to the door with the button to hold it open for themselves. I am shocked you didn't suggest that to them.

First of all, not all doors have the buttons to hold them open. Next, there's a big difference between my holding a door open for someone--an act that takes a second of my time, and getting up and giving a seat that I've possibly waited for myself to someone who could also choose to wait.

Would I run 100 feet to open a door for someone? Doubtful at best. Would I feel guilty if my hands were full and I didn't hold open the door for someone else with full hands? No. Would I wait while someone with a stroller pushed it across the parking lot 30 cars back to hold the door for them? No.

And sometimes by holding a door for someone, it actually makes it faster to get where you are going. If there's only one door into a building and someone is struggling to get through it for whatever reason, and I'm waiting to enter from the other direction, of course it would make sense for me to to hold the door so they could leave faster and I could get in faster.

For the record, I have been asked to give up my seat by people a couple times in the past, and not always very nicely. And they didn't get that seat. Once I was recovering from surgery. Once my ashtma was very bad and I was actually leaving the park earlier than I had planned, and once I didn't only because the woman was just nasty.

But I have given up my seat many times when I OFFERED it to a senior who used a cane, a young child, or a mom with a baby.

Anne

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

First of all, not all doors have the buttons to hold them open. Next, there's a big difference between my holding a door open for someone--an act that takes a second of my time, and getting up and giving a seat that I've possibly waited for myself to someone who could also choose to wait.

But when talking about etiquette (which is only what people were trying to do)--it doesn't matter how little effort there is. For some it would take very little effort to stand.

50% of the time b/c of my mothers disability--it is more comfortable for her to stand. So to say that it is more difficult to stand on a bus for most people in the name of etiquette is silly.

The person needing the door held open could have done LOTS of things--but they chose to hit the establishment at the time that they did with no backup plan to hold open the door.

YOu have simply justified why you would help in one instance but not others when it all involves "lack of planning".

Though you at times will give up your seat--you have given no poster the benefit of the doubt that it was not expected that they were indeed surprised by their observation that not one single person offered.

An observation is not an expectation.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I'm defending the right to OBSERVE and discuss later!

Everyone else is pouncing on those with these observations for being RUDE and being entitled.

IF you can show me where someone has said that fully planned and expected seats to be given up for them and acted on those plans and expectations--then you have a basis for saying they are rude.

Making an observation is not rude!

This choice stuff is complete and utter garbage. We CHOOSE to do lots of things. Since when does making what possibly might be a poor choice constitute justification for the rude behavior of others?

People are not JUST making an observation. They are JUDGING people who do not act they way they think they should. (rude, shelfish, lack of manners...) As a result, we on the other side are juding those who are making the "observations".

I believe an observation would be:

My family I boarded a standing room only bus. I was surprised no one offered us a seat.

Not

My family and I boarded a standing room only bus. I couldn't believe no one would get up to allow me/husband/kids to sit. How can people be so rude and selfish? As I looked around I saw healthy teens and men sitting. Why do people insist on having there kids take up a seat? I was raised to always offer my seat to others.


The first example is just an observation. The second is an observation loaded with judgmental comments about the other bus passengers.


If it’s ok for one group to judge, it’s ok for the other group.

Or better yet, maybe the second group is just making an observation about the first groups observation.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

People are not JUST making an observation. They are JUDGING people who do not act they way they think they should.

By definition an opinion is a judgement. You cannot have one without one.

I guess next time they should plan better to have an unbiased observation.

No matter how worded it would have been met with equal criticism.

But that is merely an observation.

 

[fakereadhed]

Ok, I give up.

Maybe instead of just the destination of the bus, they could also be labeled so you know what kind of ride to expect.

"AKL-standing room only-if you get on don't expect a seat"
"AKL-there are two seats left, you must armwrestle for them"
"AKL-OMG this one is nearly empty"

Or better yet, they could have 2 different parks. One for the people that are out for themselves, and one for those who still want to be courteous even though they are on vacation.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

Ok, I give up.

Maybe instead of just the destination of the bus, they could also be labeled so you know what kind of ride to expect.

"AKL-standing room only-if you get on don't expect a seat"
"AKL-there are two seats left, you must armwrestle for them"
"AKL-OMG this one is nearly empty"

Or better yet, they could have 2 different parks. One for the people that are out for themselves, and one for those who still want to be courteous even though they are on vacation.

i can't believe this thread is still going!

 

[disneyjunkie]

Or better yet, they could have 2 different parks. One for the people that are out for themselves, and one for those who still want to be courteous even though they are on vacation.

What about a park for those who suffer from entitlement mentality?

 

[DaisyD]

What about a park for those who suffer from entitlement mentality?

Sounds like we've already got those. LOL!

 

[shellbelle1971]

Okay, sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to this issue...I'd just like to explain to Robin and AllyCatTapia that our family's "respect" policies (and yes, those do include extending an extra measure of consideration to women) are rooted in our personal beliefs, and backed up by research findings, found here:

http://familyfacts.org/findingdetail.cfm?finding=6940

and summarized througout this website:

http://familyfacts.org/index.cfm

We're all free to debate and disagree as to which values and attitudes are most important to nurture in our children. These are the foundational principles we emphasize with our own children, though, in the hopes that they will, in turn, build their own happy families someday.

 

[juligrl]

i can't believe this thread is still going!

O.P. here!

Neither can I! Sheesh!

Can't we all just learn to get along?

 

[taximomfor4]

Okay, sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to this issue...I'd just like to explain to Robin and AllyCatTapia that our family's "respect" policies (and yes, those do include extending an extra measure of consideration to women) are rooted in our personal beliefs, and backed up by research findings, found here:

http://familyfacts.org/findingdetail.cfm?finding=6940

and summarized througout this website:

http://familyfacts.org/index.cfm

We're all free to debate and disagree as to which values and attitudes are most important to nurture in our children. These are the foundational principles we emphasize with our own children, though, in the hopes that they will, in turn, build their own happy families someday.

Very nice summation, I think. I think that most parents I know, I'd hope all the ones on here, lol. are trying to teach their kids to be the best they can be. I take pride in the fact that I am instilling manners and good morals in my children (I hope it sticks!). And you are correct that we each choose which values and attitudes to emphasize. I'd venture a guess that those whose kids don't give up seats on buses may very well grow up very upstanding, polite, and principled; and on the flipside, perhaps there will be some kids who were taught to give up their seats to pretty much anyone, very generously, I might add...who may grow up to be unprincipled, on the wrong path, thugs, whatever. We do choose which values and attitudes. We may make different choices, and take different paths in our childrearing, but I'd not hesitate to say that we are doing the best parenting jobs we can. Whether or not our particular families were sitters or seat-givers.

 

[leighe]

DH and I always offer our seats to those who might need it more than we do but I don't expect others to give up their seat for me. I was at WDW 6 months pregnant and really didn't need to sit down. I think that I was offered a seat a few times, however. I get more annoyed with people who put packages in a seat or don't hold small children on their laps. I've even seen two adults spread out across three seats before on a packed bus.