Pregnant 20 year old

[momandkidslovedisney]

My 21 year old brother and his 20 year old girlfriend are pregnant. I love my brother and I love babies...but I still wish they would have been a little more carefull. We will welcome this little girl into our lives and I am very excited to meet her. It is a mixed blessing...

Anyway, I need your help to figure out the options my brothers girlfriend will have during pregnancy and once the baby is born. She is currently going to college and on her parents health care plan. What happens once the baby is born?? How do we make sure the baby has health insurance?

Does anyone know of any other programs available for young mothers in MN? I want to get her all of the help that I can find.

I am a stay at home mom, so I plan on watching the baby for her so she can continue going to college.

Thanks you! I just found out about the pregnancy 4 days ago. I am still a little in shock. She is already 5 months!!!

 

[java]

quick google search provided this
http://www.mathematica-mpr.com/pdfs/approaching.pdf

Best of luck to them. It's nice that you offered to watch the baby.

 

[Rekenna]

I don't know about MN, but I believe in KY the baby may qualify for a medical card (Medicaid).

Also, if the daughter is still on her parents insurance her parents may be able to claim the baby as a dependent and cover her as well-which would be the best solution.

I have been with my DH since I was 16, we got married when I was 20 and had our first child when I was 21. I went back to college and have a BBA and a MBA. We have a nice modest home, 3 healthy boys and good jobs. I know you are nervous for them b/c you care-but it will work out. It's amazing what people are capable of when they have someone else to take care for.

It's great that she is still going to school. Also, it's wonderful that you are able/willing to provide child care. Quality child care makes all the difference-I have had the same awesome babysitter for 12 years-I don't know what we would do without her.

Congratulations on being an aunt!

 

[Tistal]

It depends on the plan and where you live. I know that if I had gotten pregnant, while on my parents insurance, their insurance would not have covered anything. I was on it until a couple of years ago. I was lucky enough that their insurance would cover me through part of graduate school.

The best advice is to call the insurance company and ask. They'll know what the rules/regulations are for this situation; she's not the first girl on her parent's insurance to get pregnant. If her parent's insurance won't cover it (or your brother's if he has it; you didn't say), she should call around and see if she can get government funding. As a young, single (in the eyes of the law) mother she may qualify for a lot of assistance.

 

[Sunbeamblue2002]

Tell her to contact her local Social Services dept. She will most likely get some Food stamps and day care vouchers as long as in school. Also she would get whatever health plan is in your state. Also she should sign up for Women Infants and Childrens (WIC) and get the benifits from that. She'll qualify for that while preg. Good luck to her and your brother. Also I know in my state that with Day care vouchers a faimly member could get paid for watching a child so you might want to look into that when she has the baby.

 

[torinsmom]

I got pregnant when I was single and 23. I had just finished college, but was still on my mom's insurance through COBRA. Her insurance covered my pregnancy, but I also went and applied for Medicaid, which I qualified for. I was working, but still under the income limits. Medicaid paid what my mom's insurance didn't and also automatically covered my son for his first year. I also qualified for WIC, which helped with getting healthy food while I was pregnant and then covered formula for the baby for the first year. By that time, I had married my son's father and DS was on his insurance. It is probably the only time anyone in my family has used the "welfare" system, but I am not ashamed of that. It helped us through a bump in the road and I got right back on track. Besides, at that point, I had been paying into the system for 7 years and continued to pay in, even when I was receiving help.

OP-have your son's gf check into this with Social Services. Be aware that if they get married before she qualifies, she may not qualify. Once she qualifies, she will get help for a year before being reevaluated, even if they get married.

Marsha

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Well, they both need to get jobs so they can take care of their responsibilities. If his GF is still in school, she still needs to get a part time job and your brother needs to get a job with insurance so when his child is born, it won't have to be paid for with tax dollars.

Her parents insurance will most likely pay for her pre-natal care and delivery, but will NOT cover the baby. I work in a hospital and that was the case on several of our patients recently.

Suzanne

 

[Colleen27]

The best thing they can do is call her parents' insurance company and find out. I was 18 when I had my oldest, and my mom's insurance covered the pregnancy but she wasn't able to add him as a dependent unless I designated her as his "temporary guardian" (through the court system, in our state it is an arrangement that is reviewed annually - BUT, and this is a biggie, it takes a lot of trust because it is in essence legally assigning your parental rights to that other person for the duration).

If your brother has insurance, he should be able to add the baby once she's born, so long as he signs the legal paperwork acknowledging paternity. If he doesn't have insurance, they probably qualify for whatever your state's program for uninsured children is; usually the income limits are quite high, well into middle class rather than the poverty level/working poor cutoffs for other programs.

As far as applying for other assistance, marriage doesn't make a difference any more (I think this is federal, as part of the '96 reforms). What they ask about now is household income, so if they're living together his income counts and if she's living at home her parents income will count unless they claim they don't share food/expenses. If she's living on her own and applies for aid, they will come after your brother for child support through the court system, so he'll want to keep records of any informal support he's providing.

Receving WIC and food stamps can be very demoralizing, so I wouldn't rush to suggest it unless they're likely to have real problems providing a decent diet without aid. And check the rules before suggesting she apply for daycare assistance, both as far as whether college is an eligible reason (it isn't in my state) and whether you'll be able to accept the vouchers without going to the trouble of getting licensed. Odds are you'll find keeping the arrangement informal to be the better option - between the need to get licensed and the tax implications of declaring the daycare vouchers as income, the tiny reimbursement likely isn't worth the work it takes to get it.

 

[Tink-aholic]

The best thing they can do is call her parents' insurance company and find out. I was 18 when I had my oldest, and my mom's insurance covered the pregnancy but she wasn't able to add him as a dependent unless I designated her as his "temporary guardian" (through the court system, in our state it is an arrangement that is reviewed annually - BUT, and this is a biggie, it takes a lot of trust because it is in essence legally assigning your parental rights to that other person for the duration).

If your brother has insurance, he should be able to add the baby once she's born, so long as he signs the legal paperwork acknowledging paternity. If he doesn't have insurance, they probably qualify for whatever your state's program for uninsured children is; usually the income limits are quite high, well into middle class rather than the poverty level/working poor cutoffs for other programs.

As far as applying for other assistance, marriage doesn't make a difference any more (I think this is federal, as part of the '96 reforms). What they ask about now is household income, so if they're living together his income counts and if she's living at home her parents income will count unless they claim they don't share food/expenses. If she's living on her own and applies for aid, they will come after your brother for child support through the court system, so he'll want to keep records of any informal support he's providing.

Receving WIC and food stamps can be very demoralizing, so I wouldn't rush to suggest it unless they're likely to have real problems providing a decent diet without aid. And check the rules before suggesting she apply for daycare assistance, both as far as whether college is an eligible reason (it isn't in my state) and whether you'll be able to accept the vouchers without going to the trouble of getting licensed. Odds are you'll find keeping the arrangement informal to be the better option - between the need to get licensed and the tax implications of declaring the daycare vouchers as income, the tiny reimbursement likely isn't worth the work it takes to get it.

This is a bad, bad idea. Either he marries her before the birth, which makes him the legal father of the child (and will put them both on his insurance) or he should wait to find out through DNA testing if he should be determined to be the legal father. To sign an AOP without a commitment to each other can be a recipe for disaster. If he signs it and she takes ANY money from the state for Medicaid or Food Stamps, he will have to pay it all back. As it should be.

Sounds like both getting jobs or student loans or a combo of both is the best and most practical thing for them to do.

 

[Purseval]

I love these people giving advice on how to ask for Medicaid, WIC, food stamps, etc. Ever hear of being responsible for your own problems and not palming the job off on your neighbors?

Kudos to the OP for volunteering to help out until the couple has the means to support the baby. That's what family is for.

 

[Colleen27]

This is a bad, bad idea. Either he marries her before the birth, which makes him the legal father of the child (and will put them both on his insurance) or he should wait to find out through DNA testing if he should be determined to be the legal father. To sign an AOP without a commitment to each other can be a recipe for disaster. If he signs it and she takes ANY money from the state for Medicaid or Food Stamps, he will have to pay it all back. As it should be.

Well, I wouldn't presume to know the status of their relationship and if he should insist on DNA testing. Unmarried doesn't always mean uncommitted and only he knows whether or not testing is necessary. And if signing the affidavit is a bad idea, marriage would be too, wouldn't it? The end result is the same - he's choosing to take responsibility for the child without incontrovertible proof of parentage.

I don't know if it varies from state to state or what, but here the only thing that DSS recoups from the father is cash assistance. For food stamps and medicaid they'll insist the mother open a Friend of the Court case, in which case support counts towards the income eligibility and the father will be ordered to provide insurance if he has access to it, but any support collected still goes to the mother and the state does not pursue the father for repayment of assistance.

 

[Rekenna]

I love these people giving advice on how to ask for Medicaid, WIC, food stamps, etc. Ever hear of being responsible for your own problems and not palming the job off on your neighbors?

Kudos to the OP for volunteering to help out until the couple has the means to support the baby. That's what family is for.

Both my DH and I work very hard and our youngest has autism so he is disabled. He does have a medicaid waiver card to help with expenses for what our insurance doesn't cover. We have never used any part of the system-but this system, even in it's flawed form, is for the use of US citizens who need assistance. One of the most difficult things I have had to do in our battle to help my child overcome autism is having to go to the Welfare office. We have good jobs and good health insurance and still can't afford all the medical assistance he requires. Making the decision to seek gov't assistance is not an easy one.

Government programs are put in place to help people in difficult situations temporarily, unfortunately this system is abused so it gets a bad rap. I have worked in public housing in the past and many of the people living in public housing live there and take advantage of gov't programs for a short while until they can get back on their feet.

Programs such as WIC (which are vouchers for healty food and formula only) have been lifesavers for working women just as much as non-working women.

There is nothing wrong in using these programs temporarily to ensure a healthy beginning for a child's life.

 

[Hannathy]

Anyway, I need your help to figure out the options my brothers girlfriend will have during pregnancy and once the baby is born. She is currently going to college and on her parents health care plan. What happens once the baby is born?? How do we make sure the baby has health insurance?

Uhhh shouldn't the WE be them? This is their problem and they should be the ones planning. Your job is Aunt and offering to watch the baby is where your involvement should stop. Maybe they should have thought of this Before they got pregnant. Is he marrying her? I hope he plans on putting his name on the birth certificate and Pay for his child. (DOING THE RIGHT THING)

How can they make sure it has health insurance- Do what the rest of us do pay for it or get a job with it. I as a tax payer shouldn't have to pay for it.

sorry but I shouldn't have to pay for them not being careful. and again it is their problem not yours. maybe that is why they weren't careful cause others always solve their problems.

 

[Hannathy]

There is nothing wrong in using these programs temporarily to ensure a healthy beginning for a child's life.

I disagree. There is something wrong with using them because you don't feel like sacrificing. They got pregnant so they chose to mess up the go to school full time and be students. They need to figure out if either one of them can continue to be students and I doubt both can go full time. 1 needs to get a full time job and possibly 1 can go full time and finish quickly or maybe both need to work and go part time. sorry but there are consequences to every action. And making others pay for yours when you could be is not one of them I believe in.

 

[patsal]

I disagree. There is something wrong with using them because you don't feel like sacrificing. They got pregnant so they chose to mess up the go to school full time and be students. They need to figure out if either one of them can continue to be students and I doubt both can go full time. 1 needs to get a full time job and possibly 1 can go full time and finish quickly or maybe both need to work and go part time. sorry but there are consequences to every action. And making others pay for yours when you could be is not one of them I believe in.

What I was going to say, but you said it better than me!

 

[hffmnheidi]

I work in a daycare center, so I've seen families from all walks of life on state assistance programs for a variety of reasons(divorce/job loss/death). EVERYONE has made a mistake in their lives, so we shouldn't judge others for their mistakes.

I would rather see a mother and child on food stamps and WIC if she is in school and trying to get an education to better herself and working part-time because she is doing something.

As for the OP-Being an aunt is amazing. I am an aunt three times already and you won't know how much you can love until you see that sweet little baby face when they arrive. It is a joy and gift from God.

 

[indimom]

Wow, lots of assuming and condemming going on....

OP - I think your offer to help with day care is great. I hope they appreciate the gesture.

I know someone who was in a very similar situation several years ago. Tell them to be VERY cautious about anything her mother's insurance claims. The family I know about called about this question before the birth of their daughter's child and were told insurance would cover the prenatal care through the delivery and the child for one year thereafter.
Well her child was born by emergency c-section two months early. Suddenly insurance denied any responsibility for the critically ill infant. She had to sign over temporary guardianship to her parents in order to get the baby on their plan (grandpa REFUSED to allow government assistance - he's old school). It took about two weeks to get the paperwork completed and approved through the courts. The family paid OOP for the medical care for those 12 days, plus their max out of pocket for the portion insurance did cover.
Thanks to the help of her family, the mother did work full time, did finish college on time, and now has an excellent career, and a healthy and happy son. She didn't plan to get pregnant, used precautions, and accidents can and do happen from time to time. It really annoys me when people act like they know what happened during a very private moment in two other people's lives.
I hope your brother and his girlfriend can make this work. It's very stressful to have a child when you are so young and forced to grow up very quickly. If they need government assistance, they should get it, without shame. It's temporary. The family I know should have done the same. It took them years to financially recover from the birth and weeks of critical care.
Do whatever your family can to help them both finish their college educations. This is the absolute best thing you can do for all three of them.

 

[nettekay]

I disagree. There is something wrong with using them because you don't feel like sacrificing. They got pregnant so they chose to mess up the go to school full time and be students. They need to figure out if either one of them can continue to be students and I doubt both can go full time. 1 needs to get a full time job and possibly 1 can go full time and finish quickly or maybe both need to work and go part time. sorry but there are consequences to every action. And making others pay for yours when you could be is not one of them I believe in.

wow!!!! I think I'm glad your not my mom!!! Sometimes people need help! Maybe by using these services and continuing to go to school fulltime they will be able to give their child a better life! Sometimes people who quit can get sidetracked and are never able to go back. it can be a never ending cycle. the programs are in place for a reason and THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with using them to help make your life better in the long run!

 

[bethy]

They are young, healthy adults who are in all likelihood going to have a healthy baby. They chose to have sex. They are the ones who are responsible for providing for their own child. I see no reason whatsover that they would need to be dependant on anyone else whether it be extended family or taxpayers. This is not an extreme crisis situation that no one could have anticipated. Having a baby and caring for it is what people do.

I do think it's wonderful that the OP has offered to help with childcare - that is what family is for and it's wonderful that she can do that. But the buck stops with the child's parents.

 

[ohanaMAMA]

wow, I love how quick people are to judge. People who work and still qualify for programs like medicaid, foodstamps, and wic are not sponging off others. And should not be ashamed for applying for them.With the economy like it is how can we be so cold?

I was an unwed mother and wouldnt have survived without the help the government provided me. i worked until i was placed on bedrest and returned to work as soon as I was cleared to do so. My husband and I have had to turn to DSS for help more than once. Not because we dont work hard, plan ahead and try our best, but because of circumstance.

We are in better shape these days thanks to careful planning, saving and working hard.. (thus the planned Disney trip!)
But like most americans, we arent too many paychecks from disaster. Dont be so fast as to say that "you never would" or to shame someone for needing a hand. No one PLANS to get themselves into this position. Have a little compassion!