Pregnancy Loss

[Pea-n-Me]

What a difficult thing to go through, I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself.

 

[ilovefh]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know the pain and it is unspeakable. I miscarried a few weeks ago. I went to the OB for a routine visit and discovered that there was no heartbeat. My DH and I were devastated, particularly since we had an ultrasound a few weeks earlier and all was fine. There is no rhyme or reason for these things. We have really drawn strength from our faith and we know we have a special angel watching over us.

Please take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve. Pregnancy loss is very isolating because as a society we do not have rituals to honor the percious life that was lost. Unless you have experienced this loss, you have no sense of the deep and real pain it causes. I've had family and friends say some really odd things to me but I realize they just don't know what to say. I have also connected with women who have had miscarriages and they have truly been wonderful. Someday a woman will share her story of loss with you and you will be able to tell her I know how you feel and that will be your gift to her. We experience everything for a reason and we are stronger because of it.

Lots of hugs and prayers for you.....

Your post is absolutely perfect! Well said!!

 

[Lisa_M]

I am so sorry for your loss

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Thank you again, everybody. I slept on the couch from 6 until 8:30 and then got up and made the bed. I was so tired that just doing that felt like running a marathon. I'm trying to be as normal as possible and I wouldn't even cry in front of the nurses at the hospital (tried to keep things as bright and cheerful as I could) but it's definitely hard. I will say that there wasn't one person at the hospital who didn't try to make me feel better and wasn't extremely nice. I've had nurses before who I wasn't crazy about but I can't say that about any of the nurses here. They also called in a priest to talk to me because I was feeling so guilty. He was another one who said that it wasn't even possibly my fault if I didn't know about it and absolved me of any sin (and he was an older priest....probably in his late 60's or early 70's.) I may have grown away from the Church but he told me that obviously my faith wasn't gone.
They did give me a pamphlet before I went home that had information about a pregnancy loss support group that I will try to go to along with a little ring. If I had wanted it, they would have given me a little care package but I turned it down along with turning down a chance to see pictures or find out the autopsy results. I was told that if I wanted to do so in the future, the pictures would be available as would the test results.

 

[Va-bear]

It is very self-less of you not to burden your mom (though, I'm sure she'd be glad to be there for you too...)

Take good care.

 

[diz8297]

I am so sorry for your loss. Sent up a prayer for you and your Brandon. He will always be your son.

 

[kpm76]

Your post is absolutely perfect! Well said!!

Thank you and I am so sorry for your losses as well. When I was discharged from the hospital (I opted for a D & C because I did not miscarry on my own), I was given a little baby booty charm which I wear everyday as well as a card with the following poem. Perhaps it will bring comfort to some of you:

Not far away
In a place close to your heart
A little soul watches over you and whispers:
"Do not grieve for what might have been; You gave me being and I am -
You are my parents forever."

 

[MIGrandma]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My Mother lost twins before I was born, and she didn't know she was pregnant either. I'm 52 years old and she still talks about them from time to time. We wonder if they were girls, or boys, or one of each. And we believe in God, so we believe we will meet them in heaven one day.

Sending you a cyber and prayers that you will be given the support you need to get through this difficult time of your life.

 

[PixieDust32]

We're not allowed to send prayers?!

Chezz!

Anyway, we can send you hugs Im so sorry, and don't feel guilty, you did not know.

 

[minnie56]

I have been where you are..
My heart aches for you. You did nothing wrong...please forgive yourself. Allow those tears to fall and it will take time, but your heart will heal.
It's always sad..

 

[luvmarypoppins]

I am sio sorrry for the loss of your precious Brandon. Sending you prayers for Gods peace and comfort in the days ahead.

 

[daisy2jae]

Oh you poor thing! My heart is so saddened for you and I am saying some massive prayers for you whether its allowed or not. Is that really a rule now? Thats just sad! Oh I just want to give you a huge hug right now. You will be in my thoughts. I pray that you receive the peace that you need to deal with this.

I agree...I'll keep you in my prayers. Even though it's not allowed to be said...I will.

 

[Scurvy]

I am so sorry for your loss. As others have mentioned, this was not your fault. Many cultures allow or even encourage some drinking throughout a pregnancy. Many people in the US drink early on before they realize they are pregnant. Moderate drinking would not have caused this. Sadly, many many pregnancies end early on, often before the mother even knows she is expecting. You did nothing wrong; it is not your fault and you should not blame yourself. You could have done everything "right" and it still would have happened.

I have been under the impression that even though religious debate/discussion were no longer allowed, prayer requests and statements that someone is praying for you were still allowed. I apologize if that is not the case. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know that you will never forget this, but you will get through it and it will get easier.

 

[Missy1961]

I am so sorry for your loss.

And we are not forbidden to ask for, nor to send prayers. It is religious discussion that is no longer allowed. So my thoughts & prayers are with you.

 

[MariDisney]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have been there and know it can be so very difficult. I will be praying for you.

 

[*BTMRR*]

I'm so sorry about your loss of baby Brandon.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I am glad to hear we are still allowed to ask for/send prayers. I just didn't want to get points for asking for prayers. I am still SO tired today. I took an hour long nap, but it doesn't seem to have helped very much.

 

[DWGal210]

Just wanted to touch base with you and let you know I was thinking about you today. Take care of yourself.

 

[Scurvy]

I am still SO tired today. I took an hour long nap, but it doesn't seem to have helped very much.

That isn't surprising. You've been through something very difficult, both physically and emotionally. It will be a while before you are feeling "back to normal" physically, and probably much longer emotionally. Take care of yourself in the meantime.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Thanks...work told me they'd pay me for the week but they don't want me doing anything until Monday (and they don't even know the whole story.)