Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women

[Galahad]

Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women

Pregnancy Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8.Your home thermostat doesn't seem to be cooling no matter what it's set on.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday..

 

[binny]

HEY!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

OMG--that's hilarious!!!!

 

[Galahad]

Bumping for the morning gang....

 

[Nancy]

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.



I have many days when I feel this way!

 

[Tracey1974]

Very good! I have forwarded that to all the moms in my life.

 

[Galahad]

I just read yesterday that new studies show estrogen replacement is safer and more beneficial than recently thought. I though about mentioning it to DW last night but I was afraid she'd hurt me.

 

[binny]

I just read yesterday that new studies show estrogen replacement is safer and more beneficial than recently thought. I though about mentioning it to DW last night but I was afraid she'd hurt me.

wise move

 

[Galahad]

I also read recently about who women are attracted to at different times. When ovulating, a woman is more likely to be attracted to the "rugged good looks" type. When not ovulating, they are more likely to be attracted to the sensitive type. When in menopause, they are more likely to be attracted to men with a pair of scissors stuck in his temple.

 

[Maleficent13]

You're on a roll today!

 

[caitycaity]

When in menopause, they are more likely to be attracted to men with a pair of scissors stuck in his temple.

 

[carolfoy]

I also read recently about who women are attracted to at different times. When ovulating, a woman is more likely to be attracted to the "rugged good looks" type. When not ovulating, they are more likely to be attracted to the sensitive type. When in menopause, they are more likely to be attracted to men with a pair of scissors stuck in his temple.

Am I the only one permanently ovulating?

 

[AllyandJack]

Holy crap....I actually do call those numbers to report bad drivers.

But, hey, I have an excuse....I'm being shot up with all sorts of things that cause my E2 to climb to levels that most men would consider grounds for divorce.