Pre-nup

[leighe]

We had one because of money put in trust for me and any children I might have by my grandfathers (ewww - I didn't mean children by my grandfathers - my grandfathers were the ones involved with the money ). I really didn't want to and got really upset about it actually. DH didn't mind at all and my MIL and FIL were really sweet about making me feel better about it. It hasn't turned out to be a big deal at all. Our pre-nup is never a factor in our relationship.

 

[AlexandNessa]

We don't either, because DF and I are going into our marriage with equal assets.

 

[Tantor]

When I moved out here from Vancouver my SO (no hubby) was morgage free and owned the house. He asked me to move out here to Toronto. I brought all my furniture and car with me. I took a 6 month leave of absense from my work (was managment in Safeway and didn't want to just let that go if things didn't work out). We made up a 6 month prenup and would evaluate everything at the end of the agreement if we were spending the rest of our life together or not.
It made perfect sense to me. It's not for everyone and I think it depends on the circumstance.

 

[RUDisney]

The thing that amazes me is that my DH's cousins who have $$$$$ don't have any. I might expect them to have them.

BUT, I have a story to share. Our department secretary had her fiance take her to his atty before they went to their rehearsal so she would sign one. He told her that morning that he decided that they needed one. He had a house that he bought for $32,000 for which he needed her help him get the mortgage and an old gremlin in his garage. He didn't want to lose these if they ever got divorced. She was coerced into it, due to the late notice and since her family had paid for the wedding and they'd lose everything, plus she was PG.

Their marriage lasted longer than I thought it would ... 2.5 years. When it came to child support, he quit his job so he couldn't afford to give her any.

The happy part of the story is that she's remarried to a wonderful guy who adopted her DD.

So this is what I don't get. I told her the first time, "poor people don't get or need pre-nups." She was offended by this until I told her that I included myself in the definition of "poor."

Everything we have, we earned together and is ours. There was no need for a pre-nup in our case.

I agree with others, though. If something happened to our marriage, or to DH, I'd definitely have one for another marriage. I have assets now, and children to protect.

 

[SC Minnie]

We don't have one. DH had a house before we were married and also had $ in his 401K-- he was older and had worked much longer that I had at the time-- but the subject never came up. That house was never put in my name though-- we just never got around to it. The house we are in now has both our names on it as well as everything else we have.

I'm with others-- if something were to happen that I ended up single and were to remarry I would probably have one to protect what I have worked for.

My mother remarried a couple of years ago and they have one. They (or their heirs) each take only what they brought ($) into the marriage upon divorce or death. His children were the ones concerned but they didn't know that Mom had more to lose that he did.

 

[Sandy22]

My parents didn't have one but when my dad's business took off and he all of a sudden had quite a bit of money coming in, he took some of it and put it in accounts that my mother couldn't touch using my name and my sisters names.
When they did divorce someone told my mother that my dad had a girlfriend (It had nothing to do with the divorce)mom went a bit psycho and tried to gouge my dad claiming she "KNEW" he had money elsewhere. She never could prove it.
Only my father and I know where the accounts are.

I must be missing something here because on the face of it this seems so wrong. I would never 'steal' from my mother.

 

[Viking]

DH feels a pre-nup plants the idea of a non-permanent union in the back of people's minds. It would be as if you have one foot out the door to escape before you even get married, as far as he's concerned.

Exactly my thoughts!!

 

[nativetxn]

Neither of us had any assets when we married, neither did either of us stand to have any type of inheritance in the future.

No pre-nup here but probably only because it wasn't necessary.

 

[phisigprincess]

I thought they were pretty useless until my best friend made me look at it a different way. A pre-nup is kinda like any type of insurance. You hope never to use it, but it's there in case the worst happens. She looks at it as 'you might as well do it while you still love each other than when you're bitter and resentful and going after the person for everything they have.' Unfortunately sometimes the happiest marraiges end up like that.

I don't plan on getting one (because debt and crappy furniture really aren't great assets ) but I don't look down on them any more.

 

[Kermit]

We don't have one. We were 23 when we married, so we didn't really have any assets. I wouldn't get one anyway. It just doesn't fit with my religious views of what a marriage is supposed to be.

 

[BuckNaked]

We didn't have one, but if anything were to ever happen to DH and I re-married, I wouldn't consider doing so without a pre-nup, for the protection of my children. DH feels the same way, should the roles be reversed.

 

[totalia]

Nope. Don't have one. I don't get what the big deal is. *shrugs* I'd sign one if he wanted. But neither of us have even thought about it. But then, neither of us have anything to our names lol.