Pre-K bullying

[mjkacmom]

Maybe I missed something. But, I didn't get the impression that the OP had a problem with the teacher or her actions.

No, she didn't. I was directing my post to the person who said the teacher had 2 times to do something about the child's behavior, and did nothing. The OP stated that the teacher was made aware, talked to the child, and put the child in time-out.

 

[mjkacmom]

I really feel that this is a big problem and is definitely contributing to the declines we've been seeing; I can't believe how everything is so monitored and controlled and held to such rigorous, ridiculous standards that you're unable to MOVE without being targeted as a bad person for SOMETHING...

I have never had an issue with another grownup speaking firmly to my child when she's done wrong, and when I see another child being a brat (to my kid or any other kid) I *do* speak up; I certainly don't stand there any verbally ABUSE the child, or even holler. Just firm and adult words stating that what they did was wrong and "uncool". Heaven forbid any kid nowadays should be uncool...

But the OP said that her sister yelled loudly at the child, and he looked scared enough to wet his pants - appropriate? Yes, she had every right to address that child, but I think she was childish in her manner.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

So it would be OK for your child to bully another child and since you aren't there to witness it and discipline your child or the teacher didn't see it and discipline your child, I'm supposed to sit idly by and let your kid, push my kid? Don't think so!
__________________
The above referance is exactly why some children are so bratty. You can bet your hiney that if the child who is the aggressor and parents are turning a blind eye. if the tables were turned they would have something to say.

If you are not watching your child I have every right to say. In an autoritative voice you may NOT do xyz. If that action is impacting my property, my children, My car. Then I would say You need to tell your Mom I need to talk to her.
Is it ok to not interfere is someone is hurting someone else Say for example in the subway because you are not a police officer. It may not be safe to say anything but, neither is it morally ethically right to ignore.
There are rules of society that people have to follow plain and simple. And one of those is your rights extend to your own person. the earlier they learn this lesson the better.

 

[SnowWhite607]

Well, unfortunately the OP deleted her post, but the teacher was made aware, talked to the child, and put the child in time-out. Maybe she should've belted the child?

Oh good gracious!! Lets blow it all out of proportion, why dont we? The OP's sister told the child to leave her kid alone, in whatever tone of volume, that is debatable. I dont think anyone said anything about hitting the child. Golly!

It all boils down to parenting styles. Some of us (like me) would say something to anyone messing with out kid. Some of us would not, to toughen them up. Whatever. Its different strokes.....

I do agree with the PP who said it all has to be so PC now days. If I was over at Susie;s house playing and I was mean, Susie's mom corrected me. Same if I had someone over. Now days, that could get you in some hot water with some people I'm sure.

Bottom line, if I am responsible for your kid, I am allowed to correct them if they do something that goes against the rules of wherever we are (house, school, etc). And if the teacher doesnt see, then yes, I may point it out to her the first time, But if it continually happens and the problem is not addresed, then I may step in at that moment. I'm not gonna stand by and let someone hurt my child just to "toughen them up."

 

[mjkacmom]

Oh good gracious!! Lets blow it all out of proportion, why dont we? The OP's sister told the child to leave her kid alone, in whatever tone of volume, that is debatable. I dont think anyone said anything about hitting the child. Golly!

It all boils down to parenting styles. Some of us (like me) would say something to anyone messing with out kid. Some of us would not, to toughen them up. Whatever. Its different strokes.....

I do agree with the PP who said it all has to be so PC now days. If I was over at Susie;s house playing and I was mean, Susie's mom corrected me. Same if I had someone over. Now days, that could get you in some hot water with some people I'm sure.

Bottom line, if I am responsible for your kid, I am allowed to correct them if they do something that goes against the rules of wherever we are (house, school, etc). And if the teacher doesnt see, then yes, I may point it out to her the first time, But if it continually happens and the problem is not addresed, then I may step in at that moment. I'm not gonna stand by and let someone hurt my child just to "toughen them up."

I was responding to a poster who claimed the teacher did NOTHING about the situation, when, if fact, she put the child in time-out. I think that is an appropriate punishment - maybe you don't . When I am in charge of someone else's chiild, I feel I am able to discipline them. However, I would never "yell loudly" and scare a preschooler, no matter what he was doing, as the OP's sister did.

 

[mjkacmom]

So it would be OK for your child to bully another child and since you aren't there to witness it and discipline your child or the teacher didn't see it and discipline your child, I'm supposed to sit idly by and let your kid, push my kid? Don't think so!
__________________
The above referance is exactly why some children are so bratty. You can bet your hiney that if the child who is the aggressor and parents are turning a blind eye. if the tables were turned they would have something to say.

If you are not watching your child I have every right to say. In an autoritative voice you may NOT do xyz. If that action is impacting my property, my children, My car. Then I would say You need to tell your Mom I need to talk to her.
Is it ok to not interfere is someone is hurting someone else Say for example in the subway because you are not a police officer. It may not be safe to say anything but, neither is it morally ethically right to ignore.
There are rules of society that people have to follow plain and simple. And one of those is your rights extend to your own person. the earlier they learn this lesson the better.

Sorry, english major in a crappy mood. I think "property" would include your car.

 

[Wishing on a star]

And, the argument rages on!!!!!

About political correctness...
Personally think it is very sad that the DIS has now become so controlled and politically correct that this simple little situation, a complete non-issue, is the big controversial topic of the day.... Seems that all of the sudden, political correctness has run amok, and people are getting infractions because the cryers/whiners (like the little boy on the playground in the earlier post) are running to the mods.

OKAY, I said it... Off my soapbox now...

 

[happygirl]

And, the argument rages on!!!!!

About political correctness...
Personally think it is very sad that the DIS has now become so controlled and politically correct that this simple little situation, a complete non-issue, is the big controversial topic of the day.... Seems that all of the sudden, political correctness has run amok, and people are getting infractions because the cryers/whiners are running to the mods.

OKAY, I said it... Off my soapbox now...

 

[jrmasm]

Oh please. This has nothing to do with political correctness. Making someone else's child almost wet himself is bullying. A 5 year pushing a kid on a playground is not bullying.

People need to get a grip already.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Well, Happygirl, sorry if you don't really understand what I am saying... But look at all the new 'rules'.

People are definitely getting infractions simply for non-pc comments.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Oh please. This has nothing to do with political correctness. Making someone else's child almost wet himself is bullying. A 5 year pushing a kid on a playground is not bullying.

People need to get a grip already.

Ohhh, I sooo agree that an adult should not 'bully' (yell at) somebody elses child.


But, not being able to say or do anything, as has been mentioned here on this thread, for fear of the PC repercussions... is also another very real issue.

Should really be a whole new thread!

Personally, I am not so sure that the OP's sister really crossed the line and 'bullied' a 5 year old and almost made him 'wet his pants'. I do NOT think that this is a fair assumption. IMHO, a firm, and even somewhat loud... 'get your hands off him', is acceptable.

This story has now come, relayed, from the OP's sister, to the OP, and now to us.... What to they say about 'fish tales'.... they easily get exaggerated and bigger and bigger...

 

[waltsgirl]

I sit and wonder how I ever made it through school, I went alone, without my mom or dad.

 

[SnowWhite607]

I sit and wonder how I ever made it through school, I went alone, without my mom or dad.

Were you ever bullied?

I dont know how old you are but I will just relate this to my age (40 - gasp!). I dont think kids were bullied as much back then (when I was in school, the mid to late 70s and early 80s) as they are now. Nowdays, kids can be bullied on the computer, by text, IM, etc. There are so many more ways now to bully others. And I think kids are thinking of more and more ways every day. And they are starting younger and younger. Back in the day, "mean girls" were in high school. (when I was in HS) Then when I started teaching (90s) they were in middle school. Now they are in elementary school. Why the change?

Look at the things that happen because of bullying - school shootings, the girl who hung herself after she was cyber bullied, why did none of that happen in the 70s? I happen to think that kids didnt bully as much but I suppose there could ether opinions.

I happen to also think that kids today are raised with a certain sense of entitlement so they think nothing of bullying someone else, calling names, shoving, spreading vicious rumors, etc. But thats just my opinion FWIW.

 

[SnowWhite607]

Ohhh, I sooo agree that an adult should not 'bully' (yell at) somebody elses child.


But, not being able to say or do anything, as has been mentioned here on this thread, for fear of the PC repercussions... is also another very real issue.

Should really be a whole new thread!

Personally, I am not so sure that the OP's sister really crossed the line and 'bullied' a 5 year old and almost made him 'wet his pants'. I do NOT think that this is a fair assumption. IMHO, a firm, and even somewhat loud... 'get your hands off him', is acceptable.

This story has now come, relayed, from the OP's sister, to the OP, and now to us.... What to they say about 'fish tales'.... they easily get exaggerated and bigger and bigger...

I just kind of looked at that as a figure of speech anyway....like the kid looked scared or worried that he got caught and called on the carpet because of it, not like literally, urine was about to come out, LOL!

 

[mjkacmom]

Were you ever bullied?

I dont know how old you are but I will just relate this to my age (40 - gasp!). I dont think kids were bullied as much back then (when I was in school, the mid to late 70s and early 80s) as they are now. Nowdays, kids can be bullied on the computer, by text, IM, etc. There are so many more ways now to bully others. And I think kids are thinking of more and more ways every day. And they are starting younger and younger. Back in the day, "mean girls" were in high school. (when I was in HS) Then when I started teaching (90s) they were in middle school. Now they are in elementary school. Why the change?

Look at the things that happen because of bullying - school shootings, the girl who hung herself after she was cyber bullied, why did none of that happen in the 70s? I happen to think that kids didnt bully as much but I suppose there could ether opinions.

I happen to also think that kids today are raised with a certain sense of entitlement so they think nothing of bullying someone else, calling names, shoving, spreading vicious rumors, etc. But thats just my opinion FWIW.

I think there are more ways to bully these days, but I think there are the same amount. I also don't think a preschool boy pushing another child indicates being a bully. I think of bullying as more of a mental thing than physical thing.

 

[SnowWhite607]

I think there are more ways to bully these days, but I think there are the same amount. I also don't think a preschool boy pushing another child indicates being a bully. I think of bullying as more of a mental thing than physical thing.

I just kind of look at bullying as something done over a period of time. And yes I can see it as mental as well as physical. If it is done once, I'm not sure I would call it bullying but if it continues over a period of time, then yes, it is. At least I think so.

So you dont think there is an increase in bullying in schools in the last 10-20 years? Its just bothersome that I have noticed it starting younger and younger (not really talking about OP here, guess I'm just going off on a tangent now............)

 

[OceanAnnie]

I just kind of looked at that as a figure of speech anyway....like the kid looked scared or worried that he got caught and called on the carpet because of it, not like literally, urine was about to come out, LOL!

It was probably a combination of the volume and catching the kid in the act. Catching a kid in the act of doing something wrong is enough to bring about that look of being scared.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Bullying is just abusive behavior. It's an action. A person can bully someone and not necessarily "be" a bully. I think a pattern of that kind of behavior indicates whether or not a person is a bully.

Just my .02.

 

[jrmasm]

I just kind of look at bullying as something done over a period of time. And yes I can see it as mental as well as physical. If it is done once, I'm not sure I would call it bullying but if it continues over a period of time, then yes, it is. At least I think so.

So you dont think there is an increase in bullying in schools in the last 10-20 years? Its just bothersome that I have noticed it starting younger and younger (not really talking about OP here, guess I'm just going off on a tangent now............)

No I don't. I could tell story after story about things I witnessed, things that happened to me and things I was involved in growing up.

The only difference is there are new forms of bullying due to technology. And I don't think these new forms are worse, just different.

I also think now a days, people are more likely to scream "BULLY" but that doesn't make it so.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Well, all I can do is give my personal perception...


Of course bullying has been around since the beginning of time!!

However, I do think that it is worse... not just different, but different/worse.

In school, I was one who could very very easily have been a big target for bullies. However, I kept a low profile and managed to get thru relatively unscathed.

When my son was in Preschool... Not even PreK, but just mother's day out preschool, at 3 years old... there was a three year old queen bee bully!!! I was just shocked...

I think that society is 'looser' with kids these days...
While bullying has always certainly existed... I think that parents and schools expected and maintained a stricter standard. Now, bullying goes on constantly in the classroom, the home, etc... I think it has now become a bigger animal.