Praying to make it through year end financially

[momof5boys]

To all that have wondered, no I do not work 3 full time jobs. I work 1 full time 12 hour nightshift job(I'm a nurse) have a per diem job that is 2 hours away(great money but the shifts are drying up) and just took a 3rd per diem job with a set schedule. Right now I will be working at least 52hrs a week, unless I get called for the far away job(right now they are only calling me for call outs and not putting me on the regular schedule) All of my shifts are at night, I occasionally teach classes during the day(didn't count that)
My DH has had 5 back surgeries in the past 4 yrs. Before he was laid off he only worked 3-4 hrs a day because that was all he could manage. His range of motion is severely limited due to fusions and implants, so most jobs are nixed because of that. He gets injects in his back every month on top of the meds he takes. His doctor did not clear him for physicial therapy, after his 4th surgery he was alittle better but after they started therapy he got much worse. No one knows why.
Thanks everyone for your prayers, and to those in the same boat as me, I will pray for you as well!
Oh and the oldest DSS works and pays me $100 a month, he is paying for his own college classes so I won't ask for more. The other 2 older ones are applying for jobs now, but they have to compete with all the adults out there.

 

[wvjules]

I'm sorry for the situation you are in but I'm a bit confused. If he is applying for perm. disability because he can't work then he shouldn't be getting unemployment because he can't work, right? I remember when I was on unemployment each week I had to say wheter I was able to work or not. IMO, being UNABLE to work disqualifies one for unemployment benefits. Either he is able to work and gets unemployment or he is unable to work and get disability. Can't be both can it?

I hope the disability comes through and your family starts 2011 off in a much better way.

 

[Karenj2]

First of all, hugs to you - it's SO hard to struggle financially while also dealing with a sick hubby... I had to do that for about 2 years when DH had severe depression and was out on LT disability. (I had lost my job before he got bad.) I was "lucky" in that it was just the two of us, and we were able to get financial help from his brother.

Would it be possible for your DH to take on either computer based or phone jobs that he could do from home? (i.e., telemarketing, computer surveys, etc)

In addition to talking with your mortgage & CC companies, what about talking to your utilities (gas/electric, cable, trash, etc.) and asking for assistance there, too?

 

[JB2K]

So what were you trying to be?

sarah4770 does raise a vaild point -- for those of you who pop-in occassionally, there were a couple of other threads floating around the BB, this week where some posters ended-up with cyber-egg on their face (because of another poster with 5 children airing her "stuff").

As for OP -- hang in there...better days are ahead...

 

[ajk912]

Oh OP, I am so sorry. I also have chronic back issues (I had an accident and I two vertebrae crushed to crumbs, I now have titanium bars holding me together). It's not fun at all. I would have your DH see someone to help him be able to function. I know my doc told me that it was CRUCIAL that I keep my weight within normal limits otherwise I would be in a lot of pain. Walking, getting up and moving, the adrenaline helps. Maybe physical therapy or surgery could be an option?

I don't have a choice, for me, to just give up and say I can't. I HAVE to keep going. I have three kids, I need to suck it up for their sake. Could depression be playing a role? I refuse to say, "I can't." I HAVE to, I NEED to, I WILL find a way. That I will say. I know there are some diseases/syndromes that definitely have the "I can't" label (and I am so sorry that those people are going through that) but back issues in 2010 I hope aren't 100% disabling that you can't do anything, career-wise. Heck, I have heard of quadriplegics who are able to work from home. Talk about a go-get-'em attitude!!!

I don't see how you can keep up with 3 jobs long-term. Hopefully your DH is able to find some way to help out financially!!! Hugs!!

 

[C.Ann]

To all that have wondered, no I do not work 3 full time jobs. I work 1 full time 12 hour nightshift job(I'm a nurse) have a per diem job that is 2 hours away(great money but the shifts are drying up) and just took a 3rd per diem job with a set schedule. Right now I will be working at least 52hrs a week, unless I get called for the far away job(right now they are only calling me for call outs and not putting me on the regular schedule) All of my shifts are at night, I occasionally teach classes during the day(didn't count that)

Are you qualified to do private duty? From what I understand, that pays much better.. Maybe you could check into that..

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My DH has had 5 back surgeries in the past 4 yrs. Before he was laid off he only worked 3-4 hrs a day because that was all he could manage. His range of motion is severely limited due to fusions and implants, so most jobs are nixed because of that. He gets injects in his back every month on top of the meds he takes. His doctor did not clear him for physicial therapy, after his 4th surgery he was alittle better but after they started therapy he got much worse. No one knows why.

Is he currently collecting unemployment? If he is, he won't qualify for SSD until that runs out.. The second he qualifies, he should file immediately - with the help of an attorney.. There will be no cost if he uses an attorney that specializes in SSD as the attorney will take his fee out of the retroactive check your DH will receive between the first time he's denied and when he actually receives it..
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The idea of him finding something he could possibly do from home - via the internet - is a great one.. I've seen here on the BB where there are SAHM's who are making money that way - probably not a ton - but at least it's something.. Do a search for those threads.. Every little bit helps!
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Oh and the oldest DSS works and pays me $100 a month, he is paying for his own college classes so I won't ask for more. The other 2 older ones are applying for jobs now, but they have to compete with all the adults out there.

Have your older children tried to get jobs outside of the "norm"? Babysitting; lawn care/snow shoveling (when my kids were younger, after a storm they were able to make $120 per day/per snowstorm!); walking dogs; putting up flyers for odd jobs; helping out the elderly (some will pay for something as simple as changing light bulbs that they can't reach; putting their trash out on the curb; taking care of their pets; etc.); cleaning out garages and basements; searching for and turning in deposit bottles; etc..
(Those deposit bottles really add up!! We drink a lot of bottled water here.. (3 adults - 1 child.. We easily bring in at least $50 a month - if not more..)

Are there any extra vehicles in the family that you could either sell - or take off the road - until your finances improve?

If you have cable - and need it to receive reception in your area - drop down to the basic service for now..

See if you can get on the budget plan for your electric/gas - much more affordable when it's stretched out over 12 months..

The one thing I'm confused about though is that in your first post you stated your DH couldn't get "some" jobs because he couldn't pass the drug test.. We've already established that prescription drugs can't (and won't) be held against him - so I assume that means there are some jobs he could do?

I've been through lots of those really slim-pickin's Christmases (when my kids were much, much younger than yours - and not really able to understand that "Santa" was having financial issues too), but at your childrens ages, you shouldn't have any problems in regards to that.. I'm sure they're already aware of the situation..

Lots of inexpensive (or no cost) things you can do for the holidays, so make up your mind to focus on them - the positives - and I'm sure your Christmas will be a happy - and thankful - one.. Remember - there are people out there in much, much worse situations than you are.. Count your blessings that you have what you have and things aren't even worse..

Hoping things improve for you next year!

 

[GinnyEmma]

Very simple you take the time. I take it you are not a mental health worker are you?
Actually taking the 30 mins to read a "positive" forum can be a healthy outlet.

Human beings in general are not made to be "pressure" cookers. Stress as you should know if you listen to the news even a little can literally kill a person.
Have you ever seen care givers of people who have serious or terminal illnesses? What happens when the care givers crack? That's why many organizations that deal with Alzhiemers (sp) or cancer patients, try to have support groups for the family.

So op, think of us as your support group.

Sarah,
Why is her reading amessage board even important?

I agree with you. I started reading trip reports a couple of months ago, and it only takes 5 minutes to get a quick dose of happy.

 

[momof5boys]

Just a little update, today in the mail I received a refinance offer from my mortgage company. I have paid on time since I have been with them for the past 3 yrs so now they will reduce my monthly payment by $170! That helps make up the difference between what I will be paying for my health and dental insurance starting in Jan!
To those that wondered my DH had another surgery after getting laid off, it was hopefully going to help him function better so he could work, get off the meds and get his pilots license(that dream will never come true for him ) The surgery failed and his docs have now decided that they are not comfortable with him going back to work. He was collecting unemployment because he was able to work at that time, SSD knows he is on unemployment and told him that was fine(not that it matters since it is ending) Kinda wish the docs had made this decision several months ago, but I guess because he is so young they were more hopeful.
So keep up the prayers, they seem to be working! Thanks!

 

[smokeyblue]

Something else occurred to me. Have you looked into refinancing? There are lots of programs out there through state and federal government. I know USDA does loans and sometimes you can even get a subsidized loan if you meet the criteria. Do it before you fall behind, otherwise it will be more difficult. You might even be able to get cash back at closing to help pay off bills.

Sorry I didn't see your previous post . . . I would check with your state and the federal housing programs before you go with your current lender. You might get a better deal. It's worth checking out!

 

[nunzia]

To the OP: I think we are the same person (except I don't have 5 kids ). My DH has used all of his paid medical leave and is now on unpaid personal leave. He still gets to say he's employed and we get to keep his crappy insurance as long as we pay his part of the premium

He's been out for months. First he had a pulmonary embolism and now his degenerative disc disease/arthritis has become so bad he's in constant severe pain. He takes the nasty drugs as well but they barely touch it. He's done physical therapy, a TENS unit, medication, excercises even accupressure - nothing helps more than a hour or so. The neurosurgeon says surgery won't help either - the bone spurs are just too bad. He can't sit, stand, walk or stay in one position more than a few minutes at a time. Our normal lives have ground to a halt as we are desperately trying to navigate this disability thing. His regular doctor, the specialists and the pain management doctors are telling him he will never be able to go back to his career (retail upper management) and can give very little hope for other venues.

On top of the heartbreak that comes from watching a loved one suffer so much is the mountain, and I do mean mountain, of medical bills that just never seem to stop. We are going to have to file bankruptcy soon and that is so distressing. Our savings are just about gone and we're now trying to make it on my salary alone. Throw in the holidays and kids and it's a wonder you and I are not sitting in a puddle in the corner.

I love how people can't wait to tell you that "they" don't need medicine or "they" suck it up and do what needs to be done My husband has the strongest work ethic of anyone I've ever met. This is just about killing him. I can't tell you how many times he would work 60 plus hours in a week.
Every person is different and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Trust me, if he was able he'd be at work right now.

We started selling things on eBay again and have done really well, but that won't last forever as we're getting rid of things the kids left behind when they moved out. He can and does help me with that (taking pictures etc) because he can rest when he needs to. We also pared down to the necessities...ie I have to have internet because I work from home, but we disconnected the cell phones and Directv. We sold our extra vehicle, and have long since gotten rid of the credit cards.

Wow - I just realized how long I've been rambling....dang, that feels good to vent You hang in there OP. You are not alone

Praying for you all..My BIL is in the same boat as many..he does have disability and they own their house (inherited it from MIL) and have a small rental and the wife works like a dog (but has a spending/hoarding thing so finances are not good). He has had seveer back issues and several surgeries, the last of which lead to an infection that nearly killed him. He can still not stand upright, can't go to a movie or sit in one position for any length of time, sleeps on and off all day and is severly hooked on pain meds..He's the youngest of the brothers and looks the oldest..He used to be the big strong one who did physical work all day long (cable installation) and now his life revolves around watching TV, sleeping and ordering crap off the TV. He lives for my DH's day off so he gets a visit and they putter around doing small jobs..DH pretty much maintains their rambling property and rental. Very sad...I think those than CAN should, but those that truly CAN'T should have all our compassion and support and realize that we are all one injury away from the same struggle.

 

[C.Ann]

He was collecting unemployment because he was able to work at that time, SSD knows he is on unemployment and told him that was fine(not that it matters since it is ending) Kinda wish the docs had made this decision several months ago, but I guess because he is so young they were more hopeful.
So keep up the prayers, they seem to be working! Thanks!

If he's not using an attorney to get approved for the SSD, please, please advise him to do so.. It will shorten the waiting time dramatically!

Good luck - and I'm happy to hear you're able to refi..

 

[disneymarie]

Feeling alittle down tonight. My DH's unemployment ends in 1 week, unless the government passes it in the 11th hour, due to chronic back issues he can't do most jobs out there and would not pass a drug screening because of the meds his pain management doctor has him on. I start my 3rd job(yes that is 3 jobs) next week and still can't pay my credit cards and taxes along with everything else. So far this year I received 2 paycuts, can't have OT, my health insurance is going to double and all of my utilities have gone up, and we get a whopping $23 a week for child support!
DH is applying for permanent disability on the advice of his doctors but that could take months to get that approved. Thanks for letting me vent.

I am in PA also. Ten years ago I was injured with cervical and back issues. I take medications, but also work. I am on disability SSD. It can be very difficult battle especially with a recent work history. I don't know your dh experiance or education, but is there another job he could do because of his training in the mean time?

If he is laid off he can pick up a part time job doing security as my husband did. Most assignments, no all of his have been as a watch person no heavy duty. That is why most men fail to get SSD, or women, because the voc rehab person states to judge they can do watch person duty.

It is not affecting his Unemployment at all for the hrs he works and makes up for the pay loss. This year he finally was able to retire and still works pt time.
I have been working to keep medical for the family, most days my pain is so high I get little done but, have to do it. I am in so much pain, my back has so much nerve pain and legs collapse in shooting pain, whiplash with cervical herniations, and terrible carpal tunnel. double crush, on top of that cervical migrains from the whip lash.
I am great at what I do, but don't have the ability to physically to do much else. Wish the family of adults would understand my limitations and help out.

But, I hope that your husbands job is kept. I understand the stress, the strain, and the lack of money. I too did have to make a decision if I pay my mortgage this month or not because of high medical cost out of pocket.

 

[labdogs42]

I just realized you live in the Lehigh Valley! There are tons of great doctors in the area, so hopefully your Dh can find one that can help him. There's also a great acupuncture place in Catasauqua if you want to try that route. I know times are tough here, but hopefully you'll find a way through this mess. It sounds like you are on the right track with the mortgage. I hope you find some other hidden money soon!

 

[jandel]

Praying for you all..My BIL is in the same boat as many..he does have disability and they own their house (inherited it from MIL) and have a small rental and the wife works like a dog (but has a spending/hoarding thing so finances are not good). He has had seveer back issues and several surgeries, the last of which lead to an infection that nearly killed him. He can still not stand upright, can't go to a movie or sit in one position for any length of time, sleeps on and off all day and is severly hooked on pain meds..He's the youngest of the brothers and looks the oldest..He used to be the big strong one who did physical work all day long (cable installation) and now his life revolves around watching TV, sleeping and ordering crap off the TV. He lives for my DH's day off so he gets a visit and they putter around doing small jobs..DH pretty much maintains their rambling property and rental. Very sad...I think those than CAN should, but those that truly CAN'T should have all our compassion and support and realize that we are all one injury away from the same struggle.

Thank you People are so quick to judge. Dh is 6'6 and a strapping 275. To look at him (without his cane - which is rare) you would never guess he's in such pain. He doesn't want a handout, doesn't want to sit on his butt for years and collect government money, doesn't want to "not work." He (and I) would give anything to have our old lives back.

And FYI to the pp who said "As a nurse I see it WAY too often, the doctors prescribe pain meds, then move on. The never suggest the things that can actually help improve the symptoms, just the meds to mask them. And some of the pain management doctors are the worst. Prescribe 12 differant medications, but never once suggest that the patient with back pain exercise, see a physical therapist, see a chiropractor etc. Has he seen a back specialist? Sometimes they can offer more help to figure out the root of the problem. If his pain is bad enough he may never be off meds all together, but if he finds a good regimen he should certainly be able to minimize medication needed and pain experienced." ...DH's back specialist (a neurosurgeon) has sent him to PT and was the one who referred him to the pain management doctor in the first place. Did you just assume like everyone else that he went straight for the medication? That is what I mean when I say people are so quick to judge.

On the plus side - he was just approved for LTD through his employer so we are able to breathe a little easier now. OP - I hope things are better for you as well.