Praying to make it through year end financially

[C.Ann]

Best Wishes for a better New Year!!!

Prayers for your family. I know all too well what you are going through.
My you find a bit of comfort knowing you are not alone.

How are things going on your end? Have your 3 older boys been able to find jobs to help out yet? When my kids were little I had a teenage boy babysit for me - lived 2 houses up the road - and he was the best sitter ever!!

Still plenty of time before Christmas for them to help with your gift situation - and then they can start saving for their trip to NYC.. I bet that would really make them feel great - taking the pressure off mom & dad..

 

[wide awake]

I agree w/ many of the PP...hard to be hired when you're on prescription meds for back, but not impossible. He needs to apply for whatever he can do, fast food, 7-eleven, whatever...while at the same time getting his disability going. W/ SS that can take 18 months, in fact usually does so nothing to count on right now, but a year from now you'll be glad he got the ball rolling. See if your older kids can get jobs and help out. Finally...look at your income, see where you can live on that, and do what you have to do. Horrible situation but you have to have shelter, eat, and be able to work which usually means some kind of transportation. If that means you walk away from your house, your credit card bills, etc...than that is what you do. You can think about building up later, when the SS has kicked in, or a job for DH, better yet.

As to the poster who asked how the OP could post w/ 3 jobs...I think it has been answered. And yes, I work about 70 hours a week and have an autistic son, and have time to post. We all need mental breaks.

 

[bdcp]

Actually, prescription pain meds will not prevent you from being hired. I know people with jobs that required drug testing on pain meds for major back and hip pain. The military does random screenings and there are plenty of them on pain meds also. Jobs that require security clearances also have no issue with pain meds, including narcotics. The screenings are looking for ILLEGAL drugs, not legally prescribed ones. There are lots of people working who have back problems and other pain issues and take pain medications. If there's a will, there's a way...

 

[cvjw]

My Dh has chronic back issues, has had 2 major surgeries, probably will need a 3rd one in the future, but he manages his back issues with exercise, not drugs. His doctors tried to put him on the pain meds, but he chose an alternate way to manage his pain. He keeps his core muscles strong by riding his bicycle and doing lots of floor exercises with weights. He hasn't had to have a surgery in almost 10 years, and takes no pain medications. He works full time, and manages to find the time to take care of his back. Maybe your DH could talk to his doctor and see if exercise would help him, it sure has helped my DH. If he can get his back stronger, he could stop taking pain meds, and hold down a job. My DH just kept doing the physical therapy exercises that were prescribed to him by the physical therapist after his last back surgery.

 

[sarah4770]

I've had 3 herniated dics over the last 5 years that have prevented me from lifting at work at times , and i have to agree with PP that exercising and keeping the core muscles strong as prescribed by my PT has gone a long way toward keeping me working

 

[SoonerSarah]

I completely agree with everything that C.Ann said.

My Mom is on SS disability because of a car accident (she used to be a nurse). It has been really hard on her because being a nurse wasn't just a job. It's who she is. Depression is something that a lot of people with pain, and pain management and pain medication issues have to deal with. I know it's hard for my Mom.

If you have a mortgage, have you tried calling to mortgage company and seeing if you can work out something for the time being?

And I agree with if your kids are somewhat older, they can help contribute. I began working at the age of 14. During the summer I had a full time job at a daycare, and then during the school year I cleaned once a week at the daycare. And I had a paper route. Once I was 16 I began working in a store and was able to continue one of my summer jobs through the school year working as the chef's assistant at a year round camp ground. It was hard, and there were times when I wished I would have been able to be more of a "kid". But, my family circumstances were such that it would have been immature and selfish of me not to contribute. And as a grown up, I'm glad I did. I learned a lot and had a lot of good, positive experiences.

 

[SoonerSarah]

Oh, and I'm very sorry about your financial issues. I've said a prayer that you will have peace and comfort with this issue, and that a workable solution will present itself to you soon.

 

[SplashMo]

Our thoughts and prayers are with You!!!!

 

[smokeyblue]

Sorry for your situation. Two things come to mind.

You must still have health insurance since you said it will be doubling. I suffer from chronic pain in my left side. I went to a pain mangement program last year and I did several months of physical therapy and a medication regimin (non-narcotic). It totally changed my life. Although I am not totally pain free I'd say 90% of my days are really good pain wise. Since your husband is not working he should definetely be taking a step such as this to improve his well-being.

Second is getting credit counseling. You can find some one locally, or some places will do it over the phone. Ask around and find out what places are legit. They may be able to help you, they may not, but you have to try.

Good luck to you.

 

[Brandi1leigh]

I feel for you. I'm currently on disability (although not through social security because teachers in TX don't pay into the system). The paperwork is a nightmare and just adds to the stress.

Not sure of your husband's personality, but has he considered substitute teaching? You can pick and choose what days you work, so he can work on days he feels okay.

He can also look into temping for the same reason. A lot of people don't realize that there are a lot of types of jobs at temp agencies.

I also second using Craig's list. Try listing things you wouldn't think people would want. You never know what will sell.

Finally, you may have already done this. But try cutting your bills as much as possible. Suspend cable service. Use coupons.

Good luck! We're thinking of you.

 

[jandel]

To the OP: I think we are the same person (except I don't have 5 kids ). My DH has used all of his paid medical leave and is now on unpaid personal leave. He still gets to say he's employed and we get to keep his crappy insurance as long as we pay his part of the premium

He's been out for months. First he had a pulmonary embolism and now his degenerative disc disease/arthritis has become so bad he's in constant severe pain. He takes the nasty drugs as well but they barely touch it. He's done physical therapy, a TENS unit, medication, excercises even accupressure - nothing helps more than a hour or so. The neurosurgeon says surgery won't help either - the bone spurs are just too bad. He can't sit, stand, walk or stay in one position more than a few minutes at a time. Our normal lives have ground to a halt as we are desperately trying to navigate this disability thing. His regular doctor, the specialists and the pain management doctors are telling him he will never be able to go back to his career (retail upper management) and can give very little hope for other venues.

On top of the heartbreak that comes from watching a loved one suffer so much is the mountain, and I do mean mountain, of medical bills that just never seem to stop. We are going to have to file bankruptcy soon and that is so distressing. Our savings are just about gone and we're now trying to make it on my salary alone. Throw in the holidays and kids and it's a wonder you and I are not sitting in a puddle in the corner.

I love how people can't wait to tell you that "they" don't need medicine or "they" suck it up and do what needs to be done My husband has the strongest work ethic of anyone I've ever met. This is just about killing him. I can't tell you how many times he would work 60 plus hours in a week.
Every person is different and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Trust me, if he was able he'd be at work right now.

We started selling things on eBay again and have done really well, but that won't last forever as we're getting rid of things the kids left behind when they moved out. He can and does help me with that (taking pictures etc) because he can rest when he needs to. We also pared down to the necessities...ie I have to have internet because I work from home, but we disconnected the cell phones and Directv. We sold our extra vehicle, and have long since gotten rid of the credit cards.

Wow - I just realized how long I've been rambling....dang, that feels good to vent You hang in there OP. You are not alone

 

[Green Tea]

Drug screens look for things that shouldn't be there. If he discloses the prescribed pain medications then it isn't showing up as an illegal drug.

 

[DisneyScraps]

Unfortunately disability takes a long time and it's difficult to get. If you are awarded it, it's retroactive but just getting it is the difficult part. I would not count on that at all, persue it and be delighted if it happens but please don't count on it.

I am sorry and I know it's extra tough around the holidays.

Lisa

 

[eliza61]

i;m not trying to be a smart alec, but how does someone who works 3 jobs , and have 5 kids,have time to post or read a msg board?

Very simple you take the time. I take it you are not a mental health worker are you?
Actually taking the 30 mins to read a "positive" forum can be a healthy outlet.

Human beings in general are not made to be "pressure" cookers. Stress as you should know if you listen to the news even a little can literally kill a person.
Have you ever seen care givers of people who have serious or terminal illnesses? What happens when the care givers crack? That's why many organizations that deal with Alzhiemers (sp) or cancer patients, try to have support groups for the family.

So op, think of us as your support group.

Sarah,
Why is her reading amessage board even important?

 

[chrissyb2411]

Your husband should (if he hasn't already) look for a doctor that will do more than prescribe meds. He needs a complete regimen to get back on his feet. And I am not say he needs to "suck it up" by any means. As a nurse I see it WAY too often, the doctors prescribe pain meds, then move on. The never suggest the things that can actually help improve the symptoms, just the meds to mask them. And some of the pain management doctors are the worst. Prescribe 12 differant medications, but never once suggest that the patient with back pain exercise, see a physical therapist, see a chiropractor etc. Has he seen a back specialist? Sometimes they can offer more help to figure out the root of the problem. If his pain is bad enough he may never be off meds all together, but if he finds a good regimen he should certainly be able to minimize medication needed and pain experienced.

Have you tried calling your mortgage company to see if they can help you, if you can skip a single payment?

I agree that your older 2 kids should get a job to at least pay for their own expenses, but I don't agree with the 15 year old needing to contribute to the household income.

Sell anything that isn't tacked down on craigs list. Have DH list things for you since he is home anyway. Also have him look at the coupon sites, clip coupons and find sales. If you have the time to do it, you can get a weeks worth of groceries for pennies on the dollar by finding coupons and using them at stores that have those items on sale. I used to be able to get all our, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, makeup etc basically free at CVS by matching coupons to sales. I havn't done it in awhile because I can't find the time, but it saved me a lot of money for awhile!

And good luck!

 

[Fyrefly]

For what it's worth, my mom used to have severe chronic lower back pain. Not as bad as that of some of the people mentioned in this thread, but there were some days she couldn't even move. All kinds of nasty meds, they gave her a shot so she could sort of be in less pain for our once-in-a-lifetime Australia vacation and she was still iffy most of the time.

The doctor wanted her to get surgery so she decided last minute to just go for acupuncture like some her friends had because it wasn't like things could get worse.

She had to go every week for about 6 months until she was in good enough position to move to every two weeks, and now she's at every three. They're trying to get it to once a month but she still needs treatments more than that.

The difference is amazing. She is no longer on pain meds of any kind and feels great. There are still pain days, but they are generally closer to where she needs her "tune-ups" and she can still function, nowhere near the "I can't even move" days of before.

So I'm betting this isn't an option, but it's worked for us. If in the future something like this becomes financially feasible (it needs to be done in the long term, you can't tell in 3 treatments if it's right for you) or it's actually covered under your insurance, I'd strongly recommend acupuncture.

 

[snowywhite89]

Feeling alittle down tonight. My DH's unemployment ends in 1 week, unless the government passes it in the 11th hour, due to chronic back issues he can't do most jobs out there and would not pass a drug screening because of the meds his pain management doctor has him on. I start my 3rd job(yes that is 3 jobs) next week and still can't pay my credit cards and taxes along with everything else. So far this year I received 2 paycuts, can't have OT, my health insurance is going to double and all of my utilities have gone up, and we get a whopping $23 a week for child support!
DH is applying for permanent disability on the advice of his doctors but that could take months to get that approved. I guess tomorrow I will call all of my credit card companies and tell them I will not pay for a few months until I know how my finances are, I would rather have cash available at this point then care about my credit rating(which stinks anyway)!
Any advice? I am hoping to sell my treadmill this week and I'm looking for other things to sell, but we don't have much.
Thanks for letting me vent.

Sorry that your DH's unemployment is ending.

As others have said if you test positive during a drug screening they will then look at the list you filled out to see if any of the meds will cause the positive.

Best of luck. Working 3 jobs is really hard.

Best Wishes for a better New Year!!!

Prayers for your family. I know all too well what you are going through.
My you find a bit of comfort knowing you are not alone.

Did you get rid of all those leased cars that are eating up 1/2 of your take home pay?

Sitting here feeling the same way. Paid the mortgage and just wondering how the other bills will get paid and how we will make Christmas happen for our five kids. I have been really bummed today. can you call credit card companies and negotiate? Our house is eating us alive. So I am sending hugs your way because I know how you feel.

Good luck to you too.

 

[sarah4770]

Very simple you take the time. I take it you are not a mental health worker are you?
Actually taking the 30 mins to read a "positive" forum can be a healthy outlet.

Human beings in general are not made to be "pressure" cookers. Stress as you should know if you listen to the news even a little can literally kill a person.
Have you ever seen care givers of people who have serious or terminal illnesses? What happens when the care givers crack? That's why many organizations that deal with Alzhiemers (sp) or cancer patients, try to have support groups for the family.

So op, think of us as your support group.

Sarah,
Why is her reading amessage board even important?

No eliza
Not a mental health worker.
Just your average American idiot.
Just doing the math , that's, all.
3 jobs x40 hours= 120 hrs.
hours in a week=168.
hours to sleep each night = less than 7.
just asking a logistical question with no malice intended.
fyi, i have worked 2 jobs with 2 kids and found that impossible.
thus the 500 posts over 5 years.

 

[wide awake]

Did the OP say each job was full-time? I don't recall reading that. I think she is probably adding two part time jobs to a fulltime, or has three parttime, but not really any of our business.

 

[apnep]

No eliza
Not a mental health worker.
Just your average American idiot.
Just doing the math , that's, all.
3 jobs x40 hours= 120 hrs.
hours in a week=168.
hours to sleep each night = less than 7.
just asking a logistical question with no malice intended.
fyi, i have worked 2 jobs with 2 kids and found that impossible.
thus the 500 posts over 5 years.

Well, she's probably not working 3 full-time jobs. That's silly...who can do that? Probably a full and two part-time...anyway, everyone needs some downtime even if it is a few minutes. It doesn't take long to read the board...

Good luck OP and everyone else out there dealing with huge obstacles.