Prayers for Bobby

[OrlandoMike]

You dont choose to be gay.

The only choice you have is to accept yourself for who you are!

We are here whenever you need a friend!

 

[wallyb]

I just ate some lunch! I already did talk to a shrink twice. But you know it is not like talking to someone in your shoes! No one really knows how you fell like someone going through the same thing! I often think were did I go wrong, what caused this? Did I choose this? Then I started to think about it and I rember looking at guys in gym class. How about you?

First off - stop using words like - Go Wrong

I'm not "wrong" and you're not either.

Could you find a gay support group?

As for boys - gee that's hard - I was alway just more attracted to boys.
I can't ever remember not being that way.

Why have you not posted here before?

 

[rpmdfw]

I just ate some lunch! I already did talk to a shrink twice. But you know it is not like talking to someone in your shoes! No one really knows how you fell like someone going through the same thing! I often think were did I go wrong, what caused this? Did I choose this? Then I started to think about it and I rember looking at guys in gym class. How about you?

You didn't choose it. It's part of who you are. I remember looking at guys in gym class, too. But I remember being "different" at a much younger age.

If talking to a shrink didn't help, maybe you could find a therapist that's gay, or a gay support group not too far from you? Not sure where in Pennsylvania you are, but PFLAG lists several chapters across the state. Maybe one is close enough to you that you could visit? They might be able to help you find a gay or lesbian therapist, too. It's easer to reach out, when you know where to reach.

 

[ConcKahuna]

kenman, and welcome!

Dont get depressed, and don't try and fit into the stereotypical skinny or muscular gay mold. Gay people come in every size, shape, and color, just like everyone else!

If you come during gayday, you should check out the Country Bear Jamboree when the bears all go there!

If you arent familiar with the bear subculture, it is a group that tends to focus on the masuline aspects of being a gay man. They are a very diverse group, and tend to be very accepting of just about everyone!

 

[kenman]

It's weird because every year my trip gets closer I start to become a little open to myself, I think because in Orlando anything goes. I just don't don't have the guts to meet anyone. I went to college in the phily area and one night I decided I was going to go into the gay section of town, as I was walking around some guy can up from behind me and grapped my arm and pulled it back and broke it, He said thats what you get ***!! That just put the icing on the cake for me! I never told anyone what really happened, I just told them I fell getting off a bus it had a high Step! I was aroun 18 at the time! I never realy had a sexual encounter with a guy, but I just know I'm gay!

 

[rpmdfw]

Wow. Having your arm broken the first time you venture out into the "gay world". I can definitely see why you hesitated to go back!

But you're not doing yourself any favors by not being who you are. Maybe heading out to a gay bar isn't the right first choice anyway. Try and find a group to talk to (and keep talking to us!) and you'll find that you become more comfortable in your own skin.

 

[wallyb]

It's weird because every year my trip gets closer I start to become a little open to myself, I think because in Orlando anything goes. I just don't don't have the guts to meet anyone. I went to college in the phily area and one night I decided I was going to go into the gay section of town, as I was walking around some guy can up from behind me and grapped my arm and pulled it back and broke it, He said thats what you get ***!! That just put the icing on the cake for me! I never told anyone what really happened, I just told them I fell getting off a bus it had a high Step! I was aroun 18 at the time! I never realy had a sexual encounter with a guy, but I just know I'm gay!

Don't take any of that crap from anyone ever again.
If anyone trys to hurt you - just for being gay ... That's called a Hate Crime. And They should be charged.

 

[kenman]

I think you are right, I think I really just need someone to talk to that is like me! It is kina like not having a father figure around because you can't really relate to a normal guy! My dad often took me hunting , camping etc.but there was never a bond because I knew deep down he would hate me if he knew who I really was! I live in a twn just outside of lancaster pa home of the amish, I am not amish but most around me are! Like I said I always seem to have a good time at Disney/Orlando even though I'm alone. The time I really feel alons is eating out at sitdown places! I just once I could find some to eat at least one meal with me. I guess to I don't realize there is people like be because I am never around people like me!

 

[rpmdfw]

Here's the information for PFLAG in Lancaster

PFLAG Lancaster
1947 New Holland Pike
Lancaster, PA 17601
Phone: (717) 569-2559
Phone 2: (717) 569-2559

Give them a call and see what kind of resources are available. It's a great place to start!

 

[wallyb]

Hey ... and some Amish boys are hot!
At least they are in movies

Please check out the group thing - You're so not alone.

And when it's right for you to come out -
I bet you find at least some support among your family
or friends - And if not then they weren't friends after all.

 

[kenman]

Here's the information for PFLAG in Lancaster

PFLAG Lancaster
1947 New Holland Pike
Lancaster, PA 17601
Phone: (717) 569-2559
Phone 2: (717) 569-2559

Give them a call and see what kind of resources are available. It's a great place to start!

What is PFLAG? That address is about 15min from my house!Is it a place or online group?
THANKS!

 

[rpmdfw]

What is PFLAG? That address is about 15min from my house!Is it a place or online group?
THANKS!

PFLAG stands for "Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays". It's a support group started to help parents of gay people deal with having gay kids. But it's much more than that, and is often a great resource for gay people who have questions about where to find a support group, or a therapist but don't know who to ask. Plus there are a lot of gay people that are members. We can be friends to ourselves, and each other, after all. Regardless of anything else, they won't judge you for being gay, and they want to help. Like I said, a great place to start.

And please join in our conversations here on the Gay and Lesbian Dis forum. The more the merrier!

 

[wallyb]

kenman - you should post on the singles thread here too.
There's some chatty types there as well.

You may have somethings in common
with one of them too

 

[wallyb]

Hey kenman - I know that movie made you so sad -
but in a way - if it helped you in taking another step forward -
well that's one good thing right?

 

[hematite153]

Kenman -- Others have already done a good job of welcoming you, but, I wanted to add my voice to the chorus. You are "right" just the way you are. It takes more courage to stay away from the bridge...congratulations on your choice to keep learning about who you are and learning to accept yourself. PFLAG stands for "Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays". They are a terrific organization and, especially if they are only 15 min away, will allow you to meet people in your area who will accept you for who you are and remind you that there is nothing "wrong" and everything "right" with just being yourself. They should also be able to give you a referral to a therapist with the kind of experience you need.

Welcome to this forum and join in our discussions--online friends aren't quite the same as real life ones, but, that also means that you can practice authenticity in an environment that feels safer.

 

[kenman]

I have to go to work today at 3:00p so I will take a trip down there this weekend at check it out! I was just thinking mabe I will try to go to some type of group when I go to Orlando there is just so much more stff like that down there! I would like to just spend time with some guys just to talk and ask the some?'s, maybe I could find some answers to my own ?'s buy talking to others. I guess I just don't know how to be Gay even though I am Gay. I can't even beleive I'm telling you guys I'm Gay! I would have never even told you but I guss I feel like I have some sence of belonging here. Like I said I'm a huge Disney freak and I'm so glad I have Disney because I feel like Mickey don't judge me! Disney is a huge part of my life!

 

[OrlandoMike]

Gay + Huge Disney fan....

You found the right place!

 

[rpmdfw]

I have to go to work today at 3:00p so I will take a trip down there this weekend at check it out! I was just thinking mabe I will try to go to some type of group when I go to Orlando there is just so much more stff like that down there! I would like to just spend time with some guys just to talk and ask the some?'s, maybe I could find some answers to my own ?'s buy talking to others. I guess I just don't know how to be Gay even though I am Gay. I can't even beleive I'm telling you guys I'm Gay! I would have never even told you but I guss I feel like I have some sence of belonging here. Like I said I'm a huge Disney freak and I'm so glad I have Disney because I feel like Mickey don't judge me! Disney is a huge part of my life!

Defintely call PFLAG in your area! Having something "safe" near your home is a wonderful thing, believe me!

And bravo for taking the first step and telling us that you're gay! That's a tough thing to do,and you're very brave!

 

[kenman]

I am def going to call them! I am going to get ready for work now! I just want to thank all of you for making me fell less like a freak!

 

[wallyb]

I am def going to call them! I am going to get ready for work now! I just want to thank all of you for making me fell less like a freak!

I like freaks!
You should see one of my parties -
it's like a frigging Federico Fellini film?