potty training..son was great, daughter a different story!

[OnourwaytoWDW]

Ugh..my son was 2 1/2 when we potty trained him and he did great! He was done in about a week and fully for the night in 2 weeks.
Now, it's my dd turn and she's a handful. We have tried on and off since Jan. We start fresh and new every week.
MIL keeps her during the day. She will pee through 3 outfit and then go into the closet and toss a diaper at you. "Wear didy"
But then with this hot heat, she'll peel it off and go get undies and say "Butt hot, no didy."
She'll tell you AFTER she pees.
MIL is trying hard, I know she is! Asks her often if she has to go potty. We have been on the same wave length with having the same potty chair at both houses. We have tried the reward system. It didn't phase her. We have the tried praising, she didn't care. We have tried everything I can think of.
She will go off and poop and come back to tell you she pooped. She has even gotten up in the middle of the night and told me she has peed, and sure enough, her diaper will be warm.
Any thoughts or advice?
Thanks!

 

[AKBAFB]

Hang in there! She'll get it eventually...and probably on her schedule rather than yours. I would maybe try taking her potty chairs and underwear away and using the diapers all the time for awhile, sit her down and tell her one time only - make a big deal about it once- that she obviously isn't ready to be a big girl about this, so she'll have to wear the baby diapers. Then don't bring it up again - just go back to the normal diaper routine without commenting about it every change or whatever. Wait until she is ready and thinks it's her idea. I understand that you're probably itchin' to be done with the whole diaper thing, but maybe a little reverse psychology is what she needs and if she knows that you're obsessing over it, it's probably all the more fun for her.

Just to share my own experience with my DD, now 6, she potty trained with the peeing pretty easily right before her 3rd birthday, but would not poop in the potty chair. For nearly six months after the pee thing was a non-issue, she would go put on a pull up, poop in it, and then come and get me and told me she pooped! I just went with the flow and eventually she got through it.

Good luck!

 

[princesscate]

I can honestly say, when she's ready, she's ready. My DD took a LONG time to potty train too! 6 months! She was so stubborn. And i believe that the best thing was last summer when she could wear dresses around the house and no underwear/pullups. She didn't want to mess the floor so she would run to the potty. Believe me it was torture for us, as it probably was for her. Good luck!

 

[TheDizMom]

How old is she? I can tell you that every kid is different. My DS was trained later then I would have liked him to be, but once we got started he trained pretty quickly. My DD on the other hand was very stubborn. She would take a few steps forward and 10 back. We started and stopped more times then I could count. She just took longer. When the first one is so easy it's hard to deal with one that isn't, but as my MIL said no kid ever went to kindergarten in a diaper. Don't stress about it she'll get there. She just may not be totally ready. She is old enough to feel when she has to go and to tell you that she has, but may not be mentally ready for the change. Some kids also feel like they are losing a part of their body when they go to the bathroom and so they don't like the idea that it goes down the toilet. It sounds weird I know, but it's actually true. Some kids just aren't ready to give up the security of their diaper either. So just continue to be patient. I think you at least have a child who knows that she's gone to the bathroom in her diaper at night which is half the battle for night time training. My DD is 7 and still needs a Good Nights pull-up at night because she pees so much in the night and doesn't feel it, even if we don't let her drink anything for a full hour before bed. Good luck.

 

[jnsma]

I agree, don't push, she'll get it when she's ready.

I have twins, DS3/DD3. DD3 "got it" first, except at night. During the day, she had no issues but she couldn't make it through the night. She still wears a diaper at night. Whenever we buy a new bag of diapers, we give it another shot. Meanwhile, DS3 took longer and didn't want to go in the potty, but once he did he had no problems overnight.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

It sounds to me like she's not ready. It also sounds like she's already turning it into a control issue. She can sense how much it means to you that she be trained and she's using it to her advantage.

I would put away the potty chair and the underwear for a while. Just put her in pull-ups. Don't even talk about using the toilet. I'm pretty sure she will suggest it and start asking to go. Kids need to feel like some things are their idea and not yours.

I work with special ed preschoolers and they can be especially difficult to train. We give this same advice to parents who are at their wits end when it comes to potty training. If the kids are truly ready, they will approach it on their own after the parents back off a little.

Good luck!

 

[bgirl29]

Hang in there! She'll get it eventually...and probably on her schedule rather than yours. I would maybe try taking her potty chairs and underwear away and using the diapers all the time for awhile, sit her down and tell her one time only - make a big deal about it once- that she obviously isn't ready to be a big girl about this, so she'll have to wear the baby diapers. Then don't bring it up again - just go back to the normal diaper routine without commenting about it every change or whatever. Wait until she is ready and thinks it's her idea. I understand that you're probably itchin' to be done with the whole diaper thing, but maybe a little reverse psychology is what she needs and if she knows that you're obsessing over it, it's probably all the more fun for her.

Just to share my own experience with my DD, now 6, she potty trained with the peeing pretty easily right before her 3rd birthday, but would not poop in the potty chair. For nearly six months after the pee thing was a non-issue, she would go put on a pull up, poop in it, and then come and get me and told me she pooped! I just went with the flow and eventually she got through it.

Good luck!

This was exactly what happened with my daughter. I knew she was totally ready but she just didnt want to be trained. I told her that when she was ready to let me know and I packed up the potty chair and the underwear. Later the SAME DAY she wanted her potty chair and I told her no it was too soon. (But my sister was over and I was motioning for her to get the chair back out). My sister took the potty chair back into the bathroom my daughter used the chair. Put underwear on, and later that night she used the regular potty, for everything and we were done. No accidents, nothing. She didnt use the small potty again. I guess she just had to be totally in charge of when she was going to be trained. Hang in there. I know how frustrating it can be.

 

[DVCsince02]

I'm getting ready to potty train our DS and not looking forward to it.
Good Luck!

 

[SLDL]

I am so glad to read this thread. I have a DS5 & DD2. I just KNEW that DD would be potty trained before she turned 2. She was so smart, she has a big brother who went potty, etc. etc. but it didn't happen. Just 2 days ago, I told her she would not be able to go to gymnastics (I have signed her up in the fall) or preschool (b/c it is req'd for 3 yrs old) if she didn't start going to the potty. I even told her we could go to DW if she stopped going in her pull up or underwear. (we are going in July anyway) None of this has phased her. If I physically put her on the potty, she will go every time. But she rarely tells me that she has to go...much like OP's DD, she will tell me afterwards & sometimes she hides from me b/c she knows she shouldn't be going in her pants.

I have promised her everything & tried the reward system, etc. but I too think it is a control issue. Maybe I will do as most of you suggested & not mention again. I guess there is the chance that her body is not physically ready...that she doesn't "know" that she needs to go to the potty. Regardless, as far as the cost of it all, it's still cheaper to buy pull ups than have her wear undies & have to throw them out when they are too soiled to clean!

I do have a funny story though...A couple weeks ago, she walked up to her potty chair & stood facing it. I asked what she was doing & she said going to the bathroom like her brother. I then explained to her that boys & girls are made different & we don't stand while we do that. I told her that God knew when women had children that going to the bathroom would be their only chance to sit down & rest and that she should be thankful for that!