Potty training question.....

[megan4777]

Sorry all my posts have been kid related lately...


So we started potty training dd#1 (she's almost 3.5yrs) for the 5th time....
She's doing well if we put her on the potty every 10 minutes. She's had 3 "accidents" today(none yesterday but we were anal about the 10 minuter rule...today we let it go 30 min or so...) I don't think she's ready to be potty trained....
My mom thinks I should keep putting her on the potty, rewarding her when she goes on the potty, etc....

I want to stop b/c she has yet to tell us she has to go...she just goes/pushes when we put her on the potty.

Am I wrong or should I keep putting her on the potty hoping for the best?

I feel like the worst mom ever.... anyone have any experience? advice?

 

[megan4777]

I'm begging for help

 

[Beth76]

Honestly, I wouldn't push it. Although with her being 3-1/2, someone might have different advice. We started pt my son at 2-1/2. But we went off and on. It was finally at 3 and 3 months when he decided he was ready to do it. And that was it. I would make the option available to her, but really she just needs to decide when she's ready. If you push her, she's going to get aggravated and not want to do it.

 

[jel0511]

It all depends, DD potty trained herself (yes she did) at slightly over 3 and DS needed a bit of a nudge at slightly over 3 1/2. You really do need to get lucky, like housetraining a dog, except this one talks. What worked for DS was I sat him on the potty in front of the TV and let him watch his favorite show, or I read him a book. If he had a success, I'd make a BIG deal out of it, just like you do with a dog, and I'd give a little treat, whether it be a sticker on a chart or sometimes it was an M&M. That seemed to work best, he was pretty much potty trained in a week. DD just came home from preschool one day and announced she was going to start using the potty and never looked back. Also, I found letting DS run around naked (bottom only) seemed to help. That way he didn't have the feeling like something was on, like a diaper, so if he had an accident it was VERY evident. After a few days we tried underwear and accidents were happening all the time, so back to naked we went.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I read the Potty Training in a Day book, which helped with potty training my children. I didn't do everything the book said, but I did push fluids, used food rewards after they tried to go (even if they didn't actually go), stayed close to home for a few days, had a list of people who would be so proud of them if they went in the potty (I lost all my dignity when potty training my kids--not that I had much before ) and offered bigger bribes, uh, I mean rewards for longer term success (maybe that wasn't in the book, but it helped my kids).

I'll have to say that I don't miss potty training. I have 4 children and it wasn't any fun. But neither are the teen years. Just remember...this, too, shall pass. No pun intended.

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

First thing I did when I got really serious about training was get rid of the pull-ups. My kids didn't care if they peed in those, but they hated peeing or going number 2 in their underwear. They trained up pretty quickly after that. You don't say if you are using those, but if you are, consider stopping. It's a lot messier but it was worth it.

What I also did with mine was start putting them on the potty once every hour and if we missed the potty time, I'd put them on it every 45 mins, then every half hour etc. until I figured out about how often they needed to sit on the potty. I think it was about once every 30 or 45 mins, if memory serves. Every 10 mins. seems like a lot and also very stressful for you. How can you get anything done if you're running your DD to the bathroom every 10 mins.?

You know your child best and if you don't think she's ready to be trained, then she probably isn't. Also, if your current method isn't working or you're not happy with it, don't be nervous to change it. Try something new. Or stop altogether for now and try again in a few months. There's a lot of pressure for you and your kids during this time. And remember that there is no "correct" or "better" method. Do whatever works for you and your DD.

I hated it when people asked me if my kids were trained yet (both were late trainers) or "How's potty training going?" I just answered fine and let it go. Eventually she'll get it and this will be a distant memory. Believe me. My DS was 5 when he was finally trained, but he has a disability and doesn't understand language like he should. Made it really hard to get him to understand what to even do in the potty and that it wasn't a swimming pool for his toys.

 

[jjan]

My DD potty trained herself a little bit past 3 years old. What I did was stayed at home for a few days, she wore only panties in the house which we bought at Target... they were cloth, but had a little bit of extra material in the crotch area (all most like cloth diaper material) and had princesses or something fancy all over them. She had one 1/2 way accident... when she realized what was happening, she stopped and went running and that was it. She didn't want to ruin her fancy big-girl underpanties

 

[Tammi67]

My advice is.....it's not going to happen in a day. You are on day 2 and seem to be ready to throw in the towel because she's had "accidents." There are going to be accidents, lots of them. Do it over a period of days when you can stay home. Live by the timer. Put her in panties. Don't stop and start. Do it and stick with it. You are sending mixed messages. By this point she knows that she doesn't have to go in the potty because you are going to get frustrated and put her back in diapers. She wins. This is what I did with both of mine. My DS was a piece of cake. However, my DD 4.5 still has "accidents", mainly because she is too into whatever it is that she is doing that she doesn't want to stop and go to the potty. Good luck.

 

[mla2177]

I'm sure I am going to get flamed for this one, but I think part of the problem why people have such a hard time potty training is because they go back and forth with diapers, underwear and pullups! I started training my son at 2 yrs old exactly, and he was pretty much completely trained by 2 yrs and 2 months, that's peeing the bed and all.

For about a month before I tried, I told him pretty soon we are going to say goodbye to the diapers and start using big boy underwear. I did that everyday to get him excited about it. Then, the day of I sat him down and said now let's say good bye to the diapers and we did. I put on the Gerber training pants. The first two weeks were pure he**, and I didn't leave the house (I am a SAHM). I never put pull ups on him and never put the diaper on at night either. After the two weeks when he started to get the hang of it, I would put thr Gerber plastic training pants over top if I had to take him in public.

Every family member of mine has trained their children this way and all have been completely trained within a couple of months. Once you take the diaper off, never put it back on, not even for bedtime!!!! If you really think about it, it just comfuses them. Should they go in the diaper, the toilet, or the pull up!!!! I would be confused too and I'm 29, imagine how a 2 or 3 yr old feels!!!! The key to this method is to make sure you child is ready!!!!!!! If your child can tell you when they are hungry and want to drink, then they can tell you when they need to go to the bathroom. It obviously would be a very hard method for a working mom, unless you have a couple weeks to devote at home.

If you really think about it though, this is how most of us were trained before pull ups and disposable diapers, and it was virtually unheard of to see a child in diapers at 4 yrs old! Also, I would rather have a couple weeks of he**, then two years of it!!!!!!

Good luck, I hope this helps!!!!!!!!!!! I also hope I didn't offend anyone!!!!

 

[mtemm]

seeing as I am an expert now (lol, finally trained my 4 year old a few months ago, joy of joys), I will tell you what we did. The day we decided enough was enough I put him in training pants (thicker than underware, but not like pullups). I told him that the first time he peed on the potty, he'd get a new thomas train, the first time he pooped on the potty, he'd get a new thomas train, and the first week he was accident free, he'd get a new thomas train.

I took him to the potty every hour or 2...if he wanted to go more often, fine, but we went even if he didn't tell me. He got a train that first day, but also had many accidents. i learned to shorten the time that I took him to about an hour. 3 days later, still had accidents, but finally pooped on the potty and got his second train. one week after that, he earned his 3rd thomas train.

I also made up a sticker chart, about a month of days total. he got a sticker for each accident free day, and when he filled the chart, I think we might have gotten him his fourth and final thomas train.

this worked amazingly well with my son. yes, there was bribing, I don't care, it worked. It wasn't a ton of stuff, either. The first week was a nightmare with the accidents, they aren't fun at all, but after that it just seemed to really click with him. For that first month I would remind him to go if I hadn't noticed him going in a while, and would have him go before we left the house and as soon as we got home. after the first month I stopped reminding him while we were home. He's been fine ever since.

good luck! I would personally stick with it. potty training SUCKS. it really does, I didn't think I ever would be able to do it, but in the end, it did work out well. now I just need to start on the twins!

 

[texasthree]

I think only 3 accidents is a great start. I really think you should give it another day or 2. Dont get aggrevated at her or angry, just be delighted when she goes. Potty training isnt fun. Good luck!

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

Another tip I learned from my dad who learned from his mom. Every morning, she'd put her kids on the potty (outhouse ) right away as soon as they woke up-even before they were out of bed. But she'd do it first thing and she trained all of her kids this way. That works pretty good too.

 

[MareQ]

I think only 3 accidents is a great start. I really think you should give it another day or 2. Dont get aggrevated at her or angry, just be delighted when she goes. Potty training isnt fun. Good luck!

I agree - you have to give it more time before you throw in the towel...

Every child is different - every method is different. What works for one person may not work for this child - and what works for this child may not work for your next. Be patient - try a few different ways - eventually - with time and patience it will "click"

 

[megan4777]

My advice is.....it's not going to happen in a day. You are on day 2 and seem to be ready to throw in the towel because she's had "accidents." There are going to be accidents, lots of them. Do it over a period of days when you can stay home. Live by the timer. Put her in panties. Don't stop and start. Do it and stick with it. You are sending mixed messages. By this point she knows that she doesn't have to go in the potty because you are going to get frustrated and put her back in diapers. She wins. This is what I did with both of mine. My DS was a piece of cake. However, my DD 4.5 still has "accidents", mainly because she is too into whatever it is that she is doing that she doesn't want to stop and go to the potty. Good luck.

I have been taking her to the potty all day today.

Other than bedtime and naptime, she's been in underpants. She's had 3 "accidents" today (including a poop).

She didn't come to me and tell me she peed or pooped, so I figure she isn't quite ready for the potty training. She will sit in her own poop/pee until we see her sitting in it....

The only time I put her in diapers is when she naps or goes to bed.

I edited b/c I wanted to add....she's not fazed by pooping/peeing in her pants.
We constantly praise her (tell her we're proud, happy, etc) and tell her how great she looks in her underpants.
She gets chocolate candy/stickers...


The only reason I'm thinking of quitting is b/c she just doesn't care if she poops her pants. She will literally sit in it and not tell me. I found her poop today after I was done unloading the dishwasher. (I'm a SAHM, too)

 

[mamatojon]

I have been taking her to the potty all day today.

Other than bedtime and naptime, she's been in underpants. She's had 3 "accidents" today (including a poop).

She didn't come to me and tell me she peed or pooped, so I figure she isn't quite ready for the potty training. She will sit in her own poop/pee until we see her sitting in it....

The only time I put her in diapers is when she naps or goes to bed.

I edited b/c I wanted to add....she's not fazed by pooping/peeing in her pants.
We constantly praise her (tell her we're proud, happy, etc) and tell her how great she looks in her underpants.
She gets chocolate candy/stickers...


The only reason I'm thinking of quitting is b/c she just doesn't care if she poops her pants. She will literally sit in it and not tell me. I found her poop today after I was done unloading the dishwasher. (I'm a SAHM, too)

Oh man, I feel for you. My daughter is almost three and has a stubborn streak a mile wide, and she too does not seem to care one whit if she is sitting in her filth.

I'm not even trying at this point. I went through so many battles with my son when he was three because I wanted him to start preschool. That was the lowest point in my parenting and I am loathe to repeat it. Someday she will not want to use diapers, I'm sure of it. Someday it will happen, I have to believe it! I would much rather clean up diapers than poo all over legs, carpet, toys, blech. Good luck!

 

[slo]

I rewarded my DD with a piece of her favorite candy (LifeSavor Gummies) everytime she went on the potty. She really liked that, and it helped her to want to go. I would give her 1 piece for peeing, and 2 pieces for pooping.

She needed a lot of reminding and I restricted her liquids a little bit. She used to walk around with a sippy cup, and I took that away. I just gave her a drink when she asked for it.

Good luck

 

[vegasnative]

I agree with the "don't push too hard, they will do it when they are ready" theory. We have twins and when they were about 2 1/2 I heard people calling into the radio station saying they tried the Dr. Phil method of potty training and it worked with them. Well, I found out that his theory is to get the child to train one of his/her stuffed animals. So, we tried it with one of the twins that seemed interested. He got his Shrek doll and put Shrek on the potty, and my sons praised him, then my son got on the potty, and guess what, it really worked. However, my other son, had no interest in doing this at all. So, I waited for him and he got it down about 6 months later. I have one in diapers now, he will be 3 next month and he has no desire to even try. I have to say that my sons have never had any type of accidents at night. They never wore pull-ups. I think this is because I didn't force them to potty train, they did it at their own time when they felt confortable. I have a friend that her daughter turned 3 in August, she is not potty trained and she doesn't want to push it either. She has friends that pushed their kids and they keep having accidents. I know it can be frustrating especially when other moms ask the "oh, how old is she question"...then it is followed by "is she potty trained". Pay no attention to when their kids did what and when. Your daughter will do it when she is ready. A little never hurts either. When my son (the one that is still in diapers) has gone the few times that he has, I make a huge deal about it, I clap and yell "yeaaaah". He just thinks I'm a dork and thinks it is funny!

 

[ilovejack02]

My oldest 17.5 was a breeze to get there for the most part, but as he got older he got lazy as boys do, but that is another story.
My youngest is now 4 yrs old and was a bit more challanging. He was 3 in aug and really i was being lazy about the whole thing. When that Nov. hit, i was DONE so here is what I did. I loaded him up on juices and food and made him hang out naked in the house (well he had shirt on lol) for 2 days. IT WAS COLD outside and slightly chilly in the house. I DID NOT turn up the heat just to accomodate his naked bootie lol. I got a timer and set it and off we went, if he had an accident I did not fuss, but he had to stop what ever he was doing and help mommy clean and take a bath because pottying on yourself is nasty and dirty. It made him mad to stop playing, but i didnt argue just held fast to the rules i told him if he used the potty he wouldnt have to stop playing nearly as long. He also mentioned several times he was cold and I let him know as soon as he learned to go in potty he could put on undies and pants . He figured it out REAL FAST .
My mom got nervous and put him back in pullups the next week when she had him and of course he used the pull ups to potty. I took all pull ups away from her after that lol.
Im betting your little girl is ready, she just knows mommy isnt serious yet. I really think that was the deal with my little guy. I know there are folks that say they will enventually figure it out and dont push. WHATEVER, i was tired of wiping his bootie and tired of buying pull ups. Sometimes Mommy's sanity is important too.
This method of course is not for a younger child, but a 3.5 yr should be able to understand it.

 

[mla2177]

Oh man, I feel for you. My daughter is almost three and has a stubborn streak a mile wide, and she too does not seem to care one whit if she is sitting in her filth.

I'm not even trying at this point. I went through so many battles with my son when he was three because I wanted him to start preschool. That was the lowest point in my parenting and I am loathe to repeat it. Someday she will not want to use diapers, I'm sure of it. Someday it will happen, I have to believe it! I would much rather clean up diapers than poo all over legs, carpet, toys, blech. Good luck!

Yuck, and I would rather clean up pee and poop for two weeks than change a 4 yr olds diaper!!!!!!!

 

[mamatojon]

Yuck, and I would rather clean up pee and poop for two weeks than change a 4 yr olds diaper!!!!!!!

Thanks. I'd rather not do either myself, but at least one is contained and not all over bedspreads, carpeting, stuffed animals, God knows where. To each her own I guess, but thanks for your input.

And she is 2 almost 3, not 4.