Potty training 2.5 yo ds

[disneygeek]

Once again I turn to this board for parenting advise. I always get excellent tips from DISers.

We cannot reuturn to WDW until we have a more firm grip on potty training from 2.5 yo DS.

We are doing awesome at TT potty(standing technique). But we is not PooPooing in potty(PPP) at all. He actually has PPP twice. But he has decided he would much rather use the diaper. Suggestions or commands to sit on the potty makes him anxious and fretful. He wears underwear or training pants around the house and I was using diapers for going out, naps, and nighttime. I began to realize that he would wait for thae diaper to poop. So for 2 days we didn't use diapers at all. My son just didn't poop at all. Last night he would run arond grabbing at his bottom saying Shoosh(his word for Poop) and crying. We were unsure if he was constipated or fecal anxious due to imminent urge to poop but no diaper. We finally administered aglcerin suppository which he foud even more offensive.Help!

I am not finding reference for this specific situation. Please help with suggesions or experiences.

Thanks to fellow DISers,

Lori

 

[Castlebound]

Both of my kids learned to poo on the toliet after getting the hang of peeing in the toliet first even though the books tell you that learning to poo is easier. My suggestion is to get rid of the diapers all together and only use pull-ups at bedtime. Yes he will probably have a few accidents at naptime but he will learn that waking up wet is not fun. My DS also would wait until he had a diaper on to go poo, but that changed when we went to pull-ups. The pull-ups have pictures on the front that disappear when they get wet and my DS did not like the picture disappearing (they usually pee a little when they poo). My DS didn't learn to stand and go until he got the hang of using the toliet everytime.

I'm not sure if it will help but it can't hurt.
Christal

 

[disneygeek]

Castlebound,

Thanks for the support and the reply. I just have to say I really like your screen name.
Lori

 

[tikilyn]

I don't know if I can help, but we are potty training our dd that just turned 3 in december. She has been peeing in the potty for several months but she wouldn't go poo poo in the potty. First we tried pull ups, but they didn't help. So I just put her in panties and hoped for the best. After about a month I had enough of cleaning the panties, so I told her that she couldn't go to Mickey's house because he didn't want little girls there that pooped their panties.!!LOL Well it worked. After acouple of times telling her this,she got the hint and has been pooping in the potty! She has even as far as to tell her grandmother that she has to poo poo in the potty before she can go. It's to funny!!

Just give it some time. We started potty training our dd when she turned 18 months and it took her until she was 2 and 1/2 before she even started peeing in the potty and then another couple of months before she would even use the big potty.

Sabrina

 

[crisi]

Yep, my son is five and he still makes me flush because he is afraid of the potty.

He liked trains. I went and bought $60worth of Brio and Thomas trains and strung them up in the bathroom (I was desperate). When he pooped, he got a train.

By the way, those trains hung therefor about four months. And when they were gone, he still wasn't fully trained, that happened about three months after that (and about two weeks later than it could have - we were on our way to Disney when he decided he wanted to wear underwear full time - and I wasn't going to deal with accidents at Disney).

With my daughter, she trained late as well (they were both 3 1/2 or past). We did the underwear only thing with her - but it backfired. SHE didn't care if she pee'd on the couch, that was Mom's problem and in her mind, the important thing was she was wearing underwear. She didn't finish training until she spent two weeks in the babiest looking diapers (with tabs - not pullups) I could find in her size.

2 1/2 is still pretty young. My peditrician told us not to push at all until they were three....then again, mine trained late.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

My DS did exactly like your son. He trained for going pee-pee in just a couple days right after turning 2. He however, had this fear of going poop. He would not go anywhere until he could not hold it any longer. He would start screaming "I have to poop, and we would run to the tolet and he would cry no and not go. This went on for about 2 weeks and it was bad. What we did was to just keep our cool, stayed at home( I was a SAHM) and reasure him everytime(LIKE 50 TIMES A DAY), that it was ok to go poop in the tolet and he would when he needed to. He never however during this time went in his pants and never had an accident afterwards. This too will pass.

PS. Some cool big boy pants were our ticket to potty training!
Jordan' mom

 

[kbkids]

My DS is 2 1/2 - will turn 3 in May, and absolutely REFUSES to pee in the potty. We have literally sat in the bathroom on the potty for over an hour after a huge glass of juice, reading potty books, singing potty songs, you name it. Gave up, put a diaper on him, and I swear in 10 minutes, it was soaked. He loves to sit on the potty, but won't pee in it for nothing. He has Mickey pants, which he wants to wear so badly - talks about them all the time. I've told him if he'll pee in the potty that I will get them down, but so far, isn't working.

 

[MissMagnolia]

Well, sounds like we had the same experiences as some of you. You would think that a person with a PhD in Child Development would have had this easy .

All I can say is give it time. They will go when they are ready. It is almost like a switch that turns on. My DS would pee, but not poopie as well. We resorted to the bribery technique - he loved the movie Dinotopia and Hallmark had Chasmosaurus' in eggs. We bought ALL 28 (#26 was a triplet) and lined them up in the bathroom (there was one for each letter of the alphabet).

Every time he poopied he got to open an egg. We would periodically go in and shake an egg and say "He really wants to come out, he needs you to go poopie!!". After 28 eggs, we were trained, and I can say no accidents (knock on wood, fiberglass, plastic, etc.LOL) since. He was about 3 years and 3 months old when he finally got it.

If you force the issue, you will probably be doing more harm than good. Also, as far as the pull-ups go, I am not a fan. I have been the Director of a few child care centers and that is the concensus there as well. They are really no different that a diaper except that they pull on instead of go on like a regular diaper. They feel the same as a diaper when on. If you really want them to feel the uncomfortableness (is this a word...), then put the child in underwear. We also did this with our DS. After a couple time of having to clean out poopie from his own undies (YUCK!) the accidents came fewer and far between.

Oh, another suggestion. Try your child's favorite character undies. My DS loves Thomas the Train. So, we got Thomas undies. He was less likely to go poopie on Thomas . We'd say "You don't want to go potty on Thomas do you?" and the overwhelming answer was "NO! He won't like that." And when he DID go on the potty, he'd say "Thomas is happy now that I went poopie in the potty."

Well, sorry for the long windedness (again, is this a word?). Hope it helps and good luck!!!

 

[MissMagnolia]

Forgot to add...

You should never punish accidents and PRAISE like crazy when they do go in the potty. Probably something everyone knows, but may need reminding every now and again.

Oh - also forgot to mention that we also shaped his potty behavior (the psychologist in me). We started out giving him eggs when he at least foofered (farted) in the toilet. That helped to get him started.

 

[bethnburke]

My DS also had problems with pooping in the potty. The big motivation for him was big boy Buzz Lightyear underwear and he only got to wear them if he used the potty. He did well on peeing in the potty but he had a lot of poop accidents. What finally ended up working for him was giving him a special present every time he pooped in the potty. He was so excited about getting his special present that he got over his fear pretty quickly. We also used a lot of praise every time he went or told us that he had to go.

Good luck!

 

[kendeann]

thanks for all the great post. our son just turned 2, dec 11th. got a new potty chair for x-mass. got the cool one that plays a tune when you flush, tried a few times but everytime just screms, must not be ready yet.....
our 1st boy, our girls seems like was easyer 15 yrs ago.
again thanks for all the great posts, helps a 40yr stay at home dad.
ken

 

[Schmeck]

Why not wait until after your trip to potty train? Then, you won't have to get out of line so many times when the urge calls!

Unless you've got a deadline for preschool for them to be trained (our private ones here will only take potty-trained children) you can really wait until your son is ready. Myself, I always atttempted the potty training in the summer, less clothing to take off, less clothing to wash, no shoes to pee in, etc

 

[Kate-n-sam]

My advice, don't push it, ever. Once they know they can push your buttons, they will never stop PPP , (poopooing in pants), well maybe not never, but you know what I mean! I have 2 trained and one more to go. We never worked on this, they just did it on their own and both were exactly 3. Boys generally train late too, I know some boys, 4, 4.5 that still wear pull-ups to preschool.

My son also wore a pull-up and would pee in the potty, but not the poop part. We had just had baby number 3, so we had 2 technically in diapers...one day hubby was changing him and I heard him say something to the effect of, "Oh, what a sad poop, poops would much rather swim in the potty", well we flew with that and after a week or so, he would come out of the bathroom announcing he had just made a happy poop, hurray! Very silly, but it worked. Also, we never used one of the small potty seats, we have the toilet ring and a stool, that has worked well for us.

Lastly, my DD (2.5) was training on our first trip with her to WDW, she could make it on short outings with underwear on, but didn't at all mind a pull-up, we put the training on hold, stuck her in a pull-up and hit the parks, it worked out fine, and I would get her to go when we were in the RR anyway, but didn't have to stop every 20 minutes for potty breaks or drag around several changes of clothes.

Good luck!!!!!!

 

[cinder1]

Ok, I'll add my 2 cents. I have 2 DDs and a DS. With our oldest, now 8, I worked very hard to get her potty trained. She did the same thing and would not poop in the potty. Poor thing held it in. We finally gave up for awhile. When she was ready (about 3 months shy of her 3rd birthday), SHE decided she was ready to wear big girl undies and that was it. With my 2nd, I did nothing but tell her the potty was there for her when she wanted (all my kids only used to adult potty). At about the same age as her older sister, she said she was ready for big girl undies and that was it. I was amazed. No work on my part at all. So when my son was old enough, I again just told him the potty was there when he was ready. He tried peeing sitting down a few times and didn't like that (not like Dad!!) so he quit for a couple of months. Then he also announced he was ready and that was it. Again no work on my part at all. (He was also a couple of months shy of his 3rd birthday)

I am now a firm believer that if we let the child take the lead, he or she will use the potty as soon as they are ready with hardly any work from the parent. And I can count on one hand the number of accidents my kids ever had. Now my SIL "potty trains" her kids way earlier, but she is the one who is trained. She sits them on the potty at regular intervals and waits for them to go. After my first DD, I'd had enough of that!! I think your DS will get the idea when he is ready. Let it go for awhile.

 

[lizamead]

Reading some of these posts was really upsetting for me - PLEASE reconsider doing things to shame your kid into getting trained! It's really not worth it - they will get trained eventually, whether they're shamed or not, but what they'll remember from being shamed is so much worse than if it takes a little longer, dont' you think? I hate to think of Sabrina's daughter, for example, having a potty accident while at WDW! And it's not like it's unlikely to happen - even kids who've been trained for awhile, not just newly trained, can regress some when in very different environments, and certainly ones like WDW where they're not going to pay as much attention to their signals, or more likely to ignore them because they're so into what they're doing... And going out of one's way to choose the "babiest" diapers possible...I hope I was just reading that wrong, and it wasn't like a deliberate attempt to make the kid feel like a baby, but if it was...well..gosh - how would you like it if your partner or boss or whomever shamed you or made fun of you because you didn't do what he/she wanted right away???

In addition to the shame thing, as someone else mentioned, making potty training such a big deal really can backfire, because then the kid knows how important it is to you, so it can become a real control issue.

some kids just take longer than others. They all get trained eventually. I agree that using praise/rewards is a way better method than using punishment, especially when the punishment involves shaming. I also agree that in a lot of ways, diapers are way easier than a newly potty-trained kid at WDW.

- Elizabeth, mom to potty-training 2 1/2-yr-old Sarah

 

[crisi]

lizamead....done at the suggestion of my peditrician. Who did say and 2 1/2 and 3 "don't worry, she'll get it, don't push, try stickers, if that doesn't work after a few weeks, back off, let her be in control" and at going on four said "whoa, this is what you need to do. She has decided she wants to be a baby" (and she did, she had a huge baby fetish), "babies wear diapers. She will wear diapers after every accident until she decides she'd rather not be a baby."

 

[jennie99352]

Don't know if this suggestion will help, but my son did a similar thing where he seemed to be ready, but was having trouble getting over the hump of being completely trained (i.e. wouldn't poop and sometimes had accidents). What we found worked best was his favorite treat that he liked was Starburst. Well, for about a month we didn't buy any starburst at all, and he kept asking for them. So, we told him we would buy him some at the store when he went poop on the potty. Sure enough, about two weeks later he decided on his own that he wanted to try and go so he could get some starburst.

I doubt his would work on every child, but mine is of the mindset that he needs to decide when things are going to happen. So, this seemed to work perfectly and we had no trouble once he had made up his mind to do it. I think for intelligent children this is a good way to go--after all, they know what they are supposed to do it is just convincing them to do it on their own without you telling them.

My sister tried this, though, and it iddn't work for her. I'm thinking that with this suggestion and other suggestions above, it will depend on your child. You may need to try several different things before you find one that works for you and your child

 

[castlegazer]

Originally posted by cinder1
I am now a firm believer that if we let the child take the lead, he or she will use the potty as soon as they are ready with hardly any work from the parent. Let it go for awhile.

My DS is 21 months old and suddenly is potty training himself to my shock. I am totally new at this and only have the one child but I really think parents should heed the advice of just being encouraging without pushing it - let them take the lead on this because there's really no rush and rushing is very very bad in this case. What has worked for us is that we have been talking potty talk for so many months it seems and now have to watch it out in public because its really becoming so ingrained in us. We announce and invite my DS with us into the bathroom so he is familiar with it and can use that knowledge when he feels he is ready. We never ever make him sit on the potty - he chooses to do so if he wants to. He has a little potty chair that we didn't even make a big production about putting into the bathroom. He prefers sitting on the toilet with the seat from the potty chair rather than sitting on the low potty chair because he really wants to be like Mom and Dad. We don't even reward - its just up to him and we tell him how proud we are of him when he asks to go sit on the toilet. I don't feel pressured about it so he doesn't either, in fact I am embarrased a little that we started so early compared to many of my friends but we didn't mean to get him trained by 2, only familiar with the concept, actual potty learning just is naturally occuring for him I think because he hates diapers and really loves to be a big boy in all things he does.

I think I am going to use Kate-n-sam's little anecdote about a happy poop though - that's cute.

 

[lizamead]

Crisi - Please just remember that pediatricians are MEDICAL professionals. They have little to no training in behavioral issues such as sleep, potty stuff (other than medical parts like dealing with constipation), etc. That doesn't stop many from offering advice on those topics, and from making it sound like their advice is actually based on some authoritative knowledge, but it's generally not.

As a psychologist, I know the behavioral literature far better than most physicians do, and our first pediatrician knew what I do and what my training is, and she still put herself out as some sort of authority on some things where it was just really clear that she didn't know the literature, and where I thought that some of her advice was not only wrong, but potentially harmful. She didn't know basic behavioral principles and some of the subtler aspects of reward and punishment and things like that. I don't particularly expect doctors to know that stuff - their training is medical, and that's what I go to them for.

I think it's important to recognize that the fact that some offer nonmedical advice doesn't mean it's any better than the advice you might get from anyone else. For example, there's a TON of very clear evidence on the risks of formula-feeding (more commonly discussed as the benefits of breastfeeding, although that assumes formula as the standard and breastmilk as the alternative, rather than vice versa). But the average ped has maybe an hour tops of training in helping mothers breastfeed and on issues of breastmilk vs formula, any IME (both my own, and that of others I know), most peds don't hesitate to offer their suggestions on when it's time to wean (often far earlier than the one year minimum recommended by their own AAP, and the two year minimum recommended by the World Health Organization), and how formula is just fine.

Obviously, I don't know your pedi, and he/she may have all sorts of redeeming qualities, but that just sounded like awful advice to me. It just sounded mean and punitive. And doesn't even make sense really, because if your daughter IS doing this to act like a baby, then how on earth does putting diapers on her to make her more babylike encourage potty-training? And if she DOESN'T want to be more babylike, then it goes back to being shaming.

I can see something along the lines of "if you're not going to use the potty, you've got to wear diapers, because otherwise your clothes and our furniture, etc, get ruined, and you just let me know whenever you'd rather wear underwear instead, but when you wear underwear you've got to do your peeing and pooping in the potty," and then to keep her in diapers the whole day, but doing it only after accidents seems much more punitive to me.

 

[crisi]

lizamead,

If you were my child psychologist, you wouldn't be out of line...however you are not and I have to question your professionalism in giving professional advice when you are not aware of the details of the situation.