Possible Debate inspired by Desperate Housewives.

[septbride2002]

If you watched Depserate Housewives last night you saw a storyline that I think is truely going on in today society. And that is the Working Mom vs. Working Childless by Choice.

The character Lynette wanted to arrive late to meeting so that she could take her son to his first day of school. Her boss who is Childfree by Choice declined her request stating that it was a non-emergency, it was an important meeting and that she was needed at her job. Also it was unfair for Lynette to ask people to cover for her so that she can have Mommy time while they don't allow such slack to the non-mommy employees who could also use a little extra time to do things in their personal lives.

While the storyline is a bit over the top part of me cheered for the boss. While I don't begrudge Working Mom's taking time off to be with their little ones it does get irksome when these little non-emergency situations come up and I have to pick up the slack because I have no children. Or when I and a Working Mom both need the same day off and it is decided the Mom needs it more.

What do you think of the Working Mom vs. Childfree by Choice employee situations? Should companies put family first no matter what, or is it reverse discrimination to do so?

~Amanda

 

[bananiem]

 

[disney4us2002]

I think many companies don't and yours is probably in the minority.

I work in state govt in child welfare so it would be very odd if our own family needs weren't considered given the goal of child welfare. The majority of my coworkers have family so the use of leave around holidays gets sticky.

BTW, to us mommies, the first day of school IS a big deal.

 

[septbride2002]

I think many companies don't and yours is probably in the minority.

I work in state govt in child welfare so it would be very odd if our own family needs weren't considered given the goal of child welfare. The majority of my coworkers have family so the use of leave around holidays gets sticky.

BTW, to us mommies, the first day of school IS a big deal.

I'm not arguing the first day of school is or is not a big deal.

My current company handles family situations in a good way. I am reflecting back to previous companies I have worked for.

~Amanda

 

[LoraJ]

I think first day of school is a big deal, and I don't have any kids. Most of my co-workers have gone to their kids first day of school with no problem. It seemed like school started rather late though in this case.

 

[septbride2002]

LOL - yea, but I'm hoping we can remain as civil as possible.

~Amanda

 

[bananiem]

LOL - yea, but I'm hoping we can remain as civil as possible.

~Amanda

Yeah, good luck with that.

 

[septbride2002]

I think first day of school is a big deal, and I don't have any kids. Most of my co-workers have gone to their kids first day of school with no problem. It seemed like school started rather late though in this case.

Again I'm not arguing whether it is or is not.

My point is when a non-emergency situation falls on the same day as a big meeting is it fair for the mom to have the exception of attending the meeting while non-parents do not?

~Amanda

 

[NMAmy]

I didn't see the show but I'm a working mom. Luckily, I have personal time and I don't need to give a reason for taking time off. I do have a boss whose children are older and is understanding that sometimes I need a couple of hours off to take care of Mom type things. Since my co-workers can also take time off for whatever reason they'd like, there really isn't a jealousy issue or a feeling that they're covering for me and it's not reciprocated. I also often have comp time when I work overtime if it's needed in our department.

In my opinion, it's a two-way street. I cover for my co-workers (those with or without children) and they cover for me. We're a team and that's the way it works. My dd is older now which means I have less of these events that I need to attend but I'm loyal to this organization because they were flexible when I needed it.

And a time may come when those who are childless by choice may need to deal with family problems and care for their own aging parents. Perhaps they might like to have the same flexibility that working moms have. I was also allowed to use personal leave when my father was quite ill and dying. Most everyone has obligations of some kind outside their job. It's not just working moms that need to take time off to fulfill those obligations.

 

[va32h]

Any "perks" that I received by being a working mother were completely outweighed by the significant slowdown in my career.

Yes, I may have been able to come in a little later, because I had to take a child to school, or left a little early, because I had to pick up a sick child from daycare - but I also missed out on travel opportunities, overtime, important networking time with my boss and my boss's boss.

I was not promoted as quickly, nor given raises as often, as my childfree counterparts. I didn't begrudge them their promotions and raises, it was part of the trade off. The more you can do for your company, the more they will do for you. While my employer liked me, and felt I did excellent work, they did keep the woman who was hired to fill in for me on maternity leave - and they promoted her ahead of me. Because she had the time and flexibility that I did not.

So no, I don't think it is discrimination to allow parents occasional time off for family purposes. Rather than seeing it as "picking up slack" I would look at it as an opportunity to really show my skills and make myself invaluable to the boss.

BTW, I left my job about six months after returning from maternity leave, for family reasons. I am now ready to go back to work, and the gap in my resume has hurt my prospects. I used to be in management - now I may be starting over again as a supervisor or entry level, due to my absence from the workplace.

 

[septbride2002]

Yeah, good luck with that.

Ye of little faith

~Amanda

 

[inaminute]

Personally, I believe all employees should be treated equally. If the company policy is to allow Moms/Dads extra time for parenting situations then the same amount of time should be allowed for those who have no children. If the company doesn't allow extra time, then parents need to either deal with it or go to work for a company that does allow parenting time.

In the Desperate Housewives situation, Lynette knew before she took the job that this was not a child-friendly company. I have little sympathy for her "plight." I think her actions set a poor example for women in the workplace and is only helping some companies to justify their reasons for not hiring a woman who has young children.

Of course, it's just a television show and having this character follow company policy would not be very entertaining!

 

[diznygirl]

I think special consideration should be given to working mothers because they are raising the next generation of workers. This is something that should be encouraged. Childfree by choice is not contributing to society in this way.

 

[lulugirl]

Aren't all employees given the same amount of sick/personal time? I think everyone should use that time as they please, when it runs out, it runs out.

 

[Maleficent13]

At my place of business, time off is time off, and it doesn't matter who you are or why you're taking it. You submit the request to the supervisor, and they approve it. Like Amy, I don't have to say what I'm requesting the time for.

As a supervisor, I also just approve requests based on first come, first serve (usually), or seniority (in situations like holidays when everyone wants off). I do not take their family situation into consideration.

Having said that, I have worked places in the past that did (ie, I worked every Christmas Eve in retail, because I didn't have kids and everyone else did). I don't think it ever really bothered me though.

 

[septbride2002]

Aren't all employees given the same amount of sick/personal time? I think everyone should use that time as they please, when it runs out, it runs out.

Yes but then the big bad boss has to enforce the policy and who wants to tell mommy she can't leave work 30 minutes early to watch Joey's T-ball game? Instead they let the mom flex the time - while I may want to leave 30 minutes early because I want to get my haircut and that is the only time available and am told no. That isn't really fair.

~Amanda

 

[Cantw8]

The first day of school is a huge deal for all members of a family. I have had jobs in the past, before I had children, and it was just a given that those with families got first pick of days/time/vacation off. I'm not saying that is right or wrong,I never really gave it a second thought. I certainly don't think it is something to stew over and be bitter about (not saying you, just making a statement).

 

[septbride2002]

I think special consideration should be given to working mothers because they are raising the next generation of workers. This is something that should be encouraged. Childfree by choice is not contributing to society in this way.

Okay - I see your point. Currently I am not contributing to society in that way.

What if I want to leave early every Tues so that I can volunteer at habitat for humanity and am told no. Is that not contributing to society in another way?

~Amanda

 

[Jennifer S]

I think your feelings may change once you do have kids- you're young and fairly newly married right? I see both sides but if a mom can make up the time she missed - say by staying late- I don't see a problem.

I think putting families first is good but maybe companies can compensate childless people with a day off here and there to make up for not missing as much.

I hated her boss and thought she was nasty. Also it wasn't just any old first day of school- it was THE first day of school for a kindergardner.

 

[Bob Slydell]

I think special consideration should be given to working mothers because they are raising the next generation of workers. This is something that should be encouraged. Childfree by choice is not contributing to society in this way.

It's not a corporate responsibility to be concerned about the upbringing of the next generation of workers. Companies have to focus on the bottom line -- and if it means not allowing special priviledges to working parents, so be it.

We've been lucky for the most part -- one of us have always had flexibility with our schedules and understanding bosses, with the notable exception of my last job (which was one of the reasons I left).