Poor Sportsmanship in the NFL

[LisaR]

I have told my son often...the minute you ever proclaim yourself 'the best" or "the greatest"....there will always be someone ready and willing to prove you wrong, and then someone after that person and so on.....the moral to that story is that their no such thing as "the best" or "the greatest".....well, unless your Tom Brady

I would never go around telling my children that they are greatest. It's actually pretty easy to look around and see which adults were constantly told as children how great they were. Never a good idea. But in my own mind, they are the greatest to me.

 

[Magpie]

If you add up the immigrant populations of Canada, Germany, the UK, and France, it still doesn't equal the immigrant population of the US...

The US has a huge population. If you look at immigration numbers per capita, a slightly different picture emerges. Per 100,000 residents, the US takes in 3.86 migrants. Canada takes in 5.66. And interestingly, Quatar takes in 22.39 migrants per 100,000!

(I'm assuming you're talking about recent immigrants and not the whole "everyone's an immigrant here, except maybe the natives, but they walked across the Bering land bridge" thing. )

 

[Magpie]

I have told my son often...the minute you ever proclaim yourself 'the best" or "the greatest"....there will always be someone ready and willing to prove you wrong, and then someone after that person and so on.....the moral to that story is that their no such thing as "the best" or "the greatest".....well, unless your Tom Brady

Or Usain Bolt!

I think it's adorable that people tell their kids they're "the best" or "the greatest". I think it's really just the way some people say, "I love you!" Me, I tend to fall back on, "You're awesome!" whenever my kids (or husband!) does something that fills me with pride, love, happiness, etc.

On a similar note...

One of my kids has a ridiculously high tested IQ and is very academically talented. She once asked me, "Mom, am I a genius?"

And I looked at her and asked, "What have you done to earn that label? Have you made any significant contributions to any field? No? Sweetie, genius is what you do, not what you are. So keep working on it!"

 

[Magpie]

Sure, but someone apparently needs to let the ones that want to come here know how bad things are and they'd be a lot better off in those other places!

I imagine that when you're considering leaving your country and moving somewhere else, you consider many factors. The US is definitely not going to be every migrant's first choice. And migrants who choose to go elsewhere, don't choose "elsewhere" because they've been rejected by the US. They choose "elsewhere" because they think that country better suits them.

My mother left the US and moved to Canada in search of a better life. I do think sometimes she wishes she'd stayed in the US (because she is, and will always be, an American), but at other times she'll comment that the Canadian medical system saved her life. Or she'll remark on how my childhood was better here, than one she could have provided for me in NJ.

Do I think we should tell all migrants that the US is a pit and no one should go there? Absolutely not! You can build a wonderful life in the US, just as you can in many other countries. It all comes down to what you're looking for.

 

[JaxDad]

The US has a huge population. If you look at immigration numbers per capita, a slightly different picture emerges. Per 100,000 residents, the US takes in 3.86 migrants. Canada takes in 5.66. And interestingly, Quatar takes in 22.39 migrants per 100,000!

(I'm assuming you're talking about recent immigrants and not the whole "everyone's an immigrant here, except maybe the natives, but they walked across the Bering land bridge" thing. )

I didn't count the Bering Strait migrants, but I also did not count birthright citizens. If they were counted as immigrants, then the US immigrant population I used would essentially double. The US and Canada are two of the few countries who grant birthright citizenship.

 

[Magpie]

I didn't count the Bering Strait migrants, but I also did not count birthright citizens. If they were counted as immigrants, then the US immigrant population I used would essentially double. The US and Canada are two of the few countries who grant birthright citizenship.

Which would mean that Canada still takes in more immigrants per capita than the US.

Also, for what it's worth, an awful lot of countries have 'jus soli': https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jus_soli Way, way more than just Canada and the US.

 

[Geoff_M]

I imagine that when you're considering leaving your country and moving somewhere else, you consider many factors. The US is definitely not going to be every migrant's first choice. And migrants who choose to go elsewhere, don't choose "elsewhere" because they've been rejected by the US. They choose "elsewhere" because they think that country better suits them.

My mother left the US and moved to Canada in search of a better life. I do think sometimes she wishes she'd stayed in the US (because she is, and will always be, an American), but at other times she'll comment that the Canadian medical system saved her life. Or she'll remark on how my childhood was better here, than one she could have provided for me in NJ.

Do I think we should tell all migrants that the US is a pit and no one should go there? Absolutely not! You can build a wonderful life in the US, just as you can in many other countries. It all comes down to what you're looking for.

Well, I'm definitely not going to argue with you in regards to living in New Jersey.

Look, to me here's the bottom line... You and I can BOTH (if you wish) think our respective countries are "#1". It's homegrown pride. It's no different than every parent thinking their kid is beautiful, regardless of what others think. If you wish to think that Canada is tops, I'm not going to try and argue with you that it's not. Nor is it going to make me upset or feel that you're belittling the US by expressing such opinions. I don't have a complex when it comes to the topic. On the flip side, I don't think expressing notions of American exceptionalism equates with denigrating another country.

 

[Magpie]

Well, I'm definitely not going to argue with you in regards to living in New Jersey.

Look, to me here's the bottom line... You and I can BOTH (if you wish) think our respective countries are "#1". It's homegrown pride. It's no different than every parent thinking their kid is beautiful, regardless of what others think. If you wish to think that Canada is tops, I'm not going to try and argue with you that it's not. Nor is it going to make me upset or feel that you're belittling the US by expressing such opinions. I don't have a complex when it comes to the topic. On the flip side, I don't think expressing notions of American exceptionalism equates with denigrating another country.

But my whole point is, I don't think my country is number one. Canada is not "tops", it's just the country I love. Heck, while you're right that my daughter IS beautiful to me, I'd never in a million years argue that she's objectively "beautiful". She was born with a large disfiguring birthmark on her face and still carries the scars from the surgeries she had to have.

I'm not trying to belittle the US. I'm simply saying it's possible to love your country (or your kid) without having to insist they're better than everyone else. And, conversely, you can also criticize your country (or your kid) without betraying that love.

Heck, I'd even argue that failing to acknowledge your country (or your child's) faults, isn't love, it's neglect. How can we improve, as countries or as people, if no one ever points out our faults to us? And who has a greater right and responsibility to do so, than our own citizens and/or family members?

 

[JaxDad]

Also, for what it's worth, an awful lot of countries have 'jus soli': https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jus_soli Way, way more than just Canada and the US.

I said they were "two of the few." I would call 11-30 countries out of 194 a few, not "an awful lot."

Which would mean that Canada still takes in more immigrants per capita than the US.

You made the leap that Canada grants birthright citizenship proportionately with the US. That is just not true. The illegal/unauthorized immigrant population in the US is easily 100 times larger than that of the Canada. (I have not been counting illegal/unauthorized immigrant population numbers in my posts, since it can be controversial.) Most of those granted birthright citizenship in the US are children of these immigrants. Estimates range from 300,000 to 400,000 per year.

 

[Geoff_M]

But my whole point is, I don't think my country is number one. Canada is not "tops", it's just the country I love. Heck, while you're right that my daughter IS beautiful to me, I'd never in a million years argue that she's objectively "beautiful". She was born with a large disfiguring birthmark on her face and still carries the scars from the surgeries she had to have.

I'm not trying to belittle the US. I'm simply saying it's possible to love your country (or your kid) without having to insist they're better than everyone else. And, conversely, you can also criticize your country (or your kid) without betraying that love.

Heck, I'd even argue that failing to acknowledge your country (or your child's) faults, isn't love, it's neglect. How can we improve, as countries or as people, if no one ever points out our faults to us? And who has a greater right and responsibility to do so, than our own citizens and/or family members?

So if I say my daughter is "The best daughter ever" (which she is, btw), would you suggest that I shouldn't say that and that saying so means I think your daughter is inferior to mine?

 

[wvjules]

I'm the Worlds #1 Mom and I have the coffee mug to prove it.

 

[Magpie]

I said they were "two of the few." I would call 11-30 countries out of 194 a few, not "an awful lot."

You made the leap that Canada grants birthright citizenship proportionately with the US. That is just not true. The illegal/unauthorized immigrant population in the US is easily 100 times larger than that of the Canada. (I have not been counting illegal/unauthorized immigrant population numbers in my posts, since it can be controversial.) Most of those granted birthright citizenship in the US are children of these immigrants. Estimates range from 300,000 to 400,000 per year.

According to this wikipedia page, illegal immigrants are counted in the per capita stats: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_net_migration_rate

"The net migration rate does not distinguish between economic migrants, refugees, and other types of migrants nor does it distinguish between lawful migrants and unlawful migrants."

The US population is approx 319,000,000. Even 300,000 "anchor babies" work out to just under 1 per 1,000. So even if we added it on top of the US's rate, you'd still be taking fewer migrants per capita than Canada.

 

[Magpie]

So if I say my daughter is "The best daughter ever" (which she is, btw), would you suggest that I shouldn't say that and that saying so means I think your daughter is inferior to mine?

You can say whatever you like. It doesn't make it true. Though, I'm sure what you really mean is, "I love you!", which IS true, and I'm also sure that's what your daughter hears when you say it.

Also, I don't actually think your country - or your daughter! - is inferior to mine. I just like mine better.

(Edited to add: I come from a very long line of pedantic people.)

 

[Geoff_M]

You can say whatever you like. It doesn't make it true. Though, I'm sure what you really mean is, "I love you!", which IS true, and I'm also sure that's what your daughter hears when you say it.

Also, I don't actually think your country - or your daughter! - is inferior to mine. I just like mine better.

(Edited to add: I come from a very long line of pedantic people.)

Of course I "can" say it, I asked if you think I should express such sentiments or is it preferable to limit my expressions to parents of other daughters to the fact that I love my daughter and think she's beautiful... otherwise I'd imply that their daughter was inferior?

 

[Magpie]

Of course I "can" say it, I asked if you think I should express such sentiments or is it preferable to limit my expressions to parents of other daughters to the fact that I love my daughter and think she's beautiful... otherwise I'd imply that their daughter was inferior?

Express whatever sentiments you like. But, if you walk around the playground pumping your fist in the air and announcing to everyone, "MY daughter is the MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL in the WORLD!" people will think you're being a bit eccentric. Possibly you're blinded by your love for her, or possibly you're just in denial. And they may worry that your daughter will be in for a bit of a rude surprise when she doesn't win the Tiny Tots Beauty Pageant.

However, I don't think anyone will think you're implying their daughters are inferior, as they already know perfectly well that they're not.

 

[FINFAN]

Or Usain Bolt!

a stellar athlete who just so happens to respect our anthem.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct...yDe-QgzYXY2-_-CcImYpMg&bvm=bv.131286987,d.eWE

 

[Magpie]

who just so happens to respect our anthem
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct...yDe-QgzYXY2-_-CcImYpMg&bvm=bv.131286987,d.eWE

I stand for your anthem, too.

My mother raised me to be respectful of ALL anthems, and I expect Bolt's parents did the same. In fact, I think the only anthem I could rightfully protest would be my own country's anthem (and I currently feel no need to protest during the Canadian anthem).

 

[Geoff_M]

Express whatever sentiments you like. But, if you walk around the playground pumping your fist in the air and announcing to everyone, "MY daughter is the MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL in the WORLD!" people will think you're being a bit eccentric. Possibly you're blinded by your love for her, or possibly you're just in denial. And they may worry that your daughter will be in for a bit of a rude surprise when she doesn't win the Tiny Tots Beauty Pageant.

I agree... anything can be ill-advised if taken to an extreme, but that's not a categorical rejection of what I asked.

 

[FINFAN]

I stand for your anthem, too.

My mother raised me to be respectful of ALL anthems, and I expect Bolt's parents did the same. In fact, I think the only anthem I could rightfully protest would be my own country's anthem (and I currently feel no need to protest during the Canadian anthem).

would you choose to protest your anthem, even though you have the right? Even though you were raised to respect it?[/QUOTE]

 

[Magpie]

I agree... anything can be ill-advised if taken to an extreme, but that's not a categorical rejection of what I asked.

Okay... are we getting into an actual parenting discussion here?

In which case, you can always google how to effectively compliment your child:

"Parents should be wary of over-the-top, glowing praise that focuses on stroking a child’s ego. Over time, hollow phrases like “Good job” become white noise—either not heard or ignored by your child."

http://www.susannewmanphd.com/blog/...e-ways-to-compliment-and-motivate-your-child/

Be honest with your child. Do what is best for them. Be sensitive and thoughtful and respectful of them. No one's going offended when you occasionally say, "Gosh, isn't she beautiful?" No reasonable person would ever take that as an insult to their child.

Now, if you're actually speaking metaphorically and drawing a parallel between your country and your daughter...

As I stated before - I don't think "USA #1!!" is any kind of insult to my country. I just think it's inaccurate by most measures.

The US is not going to be getting straight A's on his report this term, and it's not because the teacher is "stoopid" and "hates me". And no matter how many times the US's mummy and daddy tell him that he's still the smartest, most talented, most awesome kid in the world... he secretly suspects he's really just the biggest. Sometimes I think he'd be happier if his mum and dad focussed on his real potential, instead of dumping a lot of meaningless compliments on his head because they mistakenly think that's how you show you love someone. The US can be a great friend, though he's got some amends to make for having acted the bully. The US is very smart and creative, though he could be a bit better at acknowledging the contributions of others. The US means well, most of the time, though he needs to work harder on concepts of generosity and fairness and sharing. And he's got my favourite theme park, right in his back yard.

I like this kid!